Chapter Four
AN: Yay a long chapter for me! I totally could have made this chapter longer, it was intended to be longer but I have someone coming over for most of the rest of the day and I wanted to give you guys an update so I did a little editing and yay here's the chapter! Please review! When I get awesome reviews like the ones from The Girl Next Door, PsychoticNetJunkie, TrilyFan4lyf91, Sinilu Silverspell and especially "reviewr"it really encourages me to put all things aside, including my graduation thank you notes (but that's not so hard) and write, so thanks a ton!
"Travis, wake-up." Ray;s face hangs over Travis the next morning.
"Ray, what are you doing in my bedroom?" Travis asks.
"I'm not," Ray responds, "unless your new bedroom is the RFR station and you were just waiting for a better time to tell us you moved in."
Travis stretches and his stiff back is evidence that he'd slept on the couch at the station, "I must have fallen asleep, but what are you doing here?"
"I come every Saturday morning, my brother comes over with his girlfriend neither of which I care to spend time with."
"You come here every Saturday morning?"
Ray nods, "just about. So no offense Travis but you look trappy, that's tired and crappy the worst of both worlds."
"Thanks." Travis sighs running a hand through his messy hair.
"What's going on?" Ray asks sitting in Lily's usual chair.
"Nothing," Travis shakes his head.
"Oh, come on Travis, I thought we were to the point where we are friends, you can trust me."
"It's Lily." Travis finally responds.
"I knew it!" Ray exclaims, "you and Lily are secretly dating."
"Wrong."
"You aren't secretly dating?"
"No...well..."
"Is it true," Ray grabs at his chest, "for once you don't have all the answers?"
"Ray, I don't always have all the answers," Travis leans against the couch.
"So then what's going on with you and Lily?"
"I kissed her, then she kissed me." Travis sighs for what seems like the millionth time that morning, "I don't know."
"Well you like Lily, right?"
"Yes, but it's not that simple."
"Believe me, I get that, or did you suddenly have a brain lapse in which you've forgotten my unrequited crush on Lily?"
"This is different, we both know how we feel about each other but Lily is going through so many things right now, it's not a good time for her."
Nothing's wrong that can't be cured with a new love
Ray shakes his head, "that's where you're wrong swamie."
"How do you mean?"
"I mean that when you love someone and that person loves you then there's no time that can't be okay for you to be together. You know I never understood that before, but with Kylie I get it now."
"Understand what exactly?"
Open your eyes to love
"That love: true, honest, love overcomes everything."
Travis shakes his head, "that's not true, death, nothing can overcome it. Death is inevitable. Death is infinite."
"Maybe but death can be overcome too."
"Ray, sometimes I don't understand you."
Ray nods, "and I almost never understand you so I guess that makes us even." Ray shrugs, "so how about some breakfast?"
"Lily, sweetie, get up." Lily's father's voice wakes Lily that same morning.
"What?" It's not until she pulls her bedroom door open that she realizes she's still wearing Travis' father's clothes, meaning her own were still at Travis'.
"You mom wants to know if you want to come to lunch with us."
"She's going out?" Lily asks, with the exception of doctor's appointments her mother never went out, she didn't ever have the energy.
"We are going to buy her a wig and then get some lunch, sound good?"
Lily nods with an authentic smile, "yeah, sounds great to me."
"So you talked to Lily?" Travis asks Robbie.
Robbie nods, "she said she'd be there for the show but she's having lunch with her parents.
"But she'll be there this afternoon?" Travis asks, he had resolved himself to talking everything over with Lily before either one of them could loose their nerve and they went back to ignoring their feelings for each other.
"She'll be there." Robbie nods in assurance.
"I'll pick up our order." Lily offers.
"Thanks Lily," Lily's mother squeezes her hand gently.
"Lily!" Robbie's voice startles Lily so much she jumps.
"Robbie, what are you doing here?" Lily asks.
"We're here for lunch, Mickey's was to crowded," Robbie gestures to where Ray and Travis are watching the two. "You cut your hair.
Lily touches the end of her now short chin length, "I um, cut it, it was long enough to make into a wig for my mom."
"I like it, the entire time I've known you you've had long hair, but I like it short too."
Lily smiles, "thanks. So I guess I'll see you this afternoon."
"Did your friend like your hair cut?" Lily's father asks.
Lily nods, "he did."
"Lily I really am appreciative to you for cutting your hair just to give me a wig."
"I wanted to." Lily responds, "besides it's a nice change. My hair has always been long, it'll be cooler for the summer anyway."
Lily's father hugs both Lily and her mother, "I'm glad to be out with my girls."
"That was a good show," Ray comments as Travis switches the equipment off.
Robbie nods, "definitely a good show. So we're going to get going," Robbie elbows Ray.
"Yeah, we'll see you guys later. Maybe at Mickey's...all right..." He elbows Robbie back for the jab in the side he received, "later." Ray and Robbie make a quick exit.
"Could they be any more obvious?" Travis questions with a sigh before moving to take a chair facing Lily, "we need to talk."
"All right," Lily nods. "Last night shouldn't have happened Travis, it was just a mistake."
Don't feel guilty 'cause you turned to me last night
"I don't think us being together is a mistake." Travis is surprised by his own bluntness.
"Travis..."
"No, Lily we already put off how we feel about each other and these feelings obviously aren't going away."
"Travis when I kiss you I feel like I'm losing control."
Travis is slightly offended by this, "if you think I'd take advantage of you and push you to do anything you..."
"Travis, stop," Lily interrupts. "I didn't mean it that way."
"Then how did you mean it?"
"For two years, Travis, for two years I have struggled to keep control over myself. To keep from falling apart, constantly I've battled this and when I kissed you I feel all of that completely melt away."
"Lily I..."
"You didn't know, I know, but I can't handle that loss of control right now."
Travis takes Lily's hand entwining their fingers, "I want to be with you Lily, but I'm not going to force you into anything you're not ready for."
Lily stares at their hands, "I want to be with you so badly Travis, but I'm so confused, half of the time I don't even know what I want. Sometimes I want to be with people, other times I don't."
"I'm willing to give it a try, Lily, if you are." Travis states.
"I'd drive you crazy, I drive myself crazy. I don't want you to have to go through all of that."
Travis gently squeezes Lily's hand and stares at her, "if you don't want this then tell me that, but if you do then stop making excuses and let me make my own choices, maybe I need a little craziness in my life."
Lily takes a deep breath, "if things, if I, get too crazy for you then you can walk away, we'll still be friends. I won't blame you."
"You make it sound like I am staying with you out of pity."
"My mother's dying Travis," the pain on Lily's face as she says this is heartbreaking. "That tends to evoke a lot of pity."
"Well I'm not staying with you out of pity. I kissed you before I knew your Mom was even sick, remember?"
Lily nods, "I remember. So what does this make us then?"
"Whatever you can handle us being right now."
"I want to be your girlfriend but I can't kiss you Travis, I can't handle that."
Travis nods, "that's fine."
They sit for a couple of minutes content to let the silence blanket them, but eventually Lily breaks it, "so should we meet Ray and Robbie at Mickey's then?" Lily raises her voice and moves toward the door.
Travis smiles at Lily as he watches her quickly pull the door open, Robbie and Ray rumbling onto the floor. Robbie leans on his elbow casually asking, "hey guys, what's up?"
"Get up you two." Lily laughs.
"So you guys are together then?" Ray asks and when Travis and Lily nod he smiles. "Cool. It's Trily, that's Travis and Lily, the best of both worlds."
"What about Rylie?" Lily asks, "are you guys still the best of both worlds?"
Ray nods, we are, now we just need to fine someone for Robbie here and we can go to junior prom as three couples."
"Right," Robbie brushes himself off as he stands, "so, Mickey's?"
"Yeah," Lily nods, "I'm starving and my Dad was making a romantic dinner for my mom, so Mickey's sounds good to me."