So sorry for the delay. I was going to update sooner but FF has been having
problems, supposedly. Hopefully, this will make up for the delay!!!! It is
long, I warn you... LOL. About 3500 words......YIKES! Sorry for any grammatical
errors...I like to start my sentences with And and But lol...I need to study my
english a little more.
Chapter 14: To Be Loved
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Everyone in the dark room was silent and looked down in grave faces. The candlelights cast dim shadows in all corners of the room and all was still.
The doctor leaned over Rosie one last time to record her breathing pattern and he took the wet cloth out of the basin and draped it over her forehead, "Just let her sleep. She has developed a severe case of water deprivation and heat stroke and all you can do now is give her water and keep her cool. She twisted her wrist in the fall and it will heal over time. She has no head injuries, thank goodness for that.
"Make sure you check in while she's sleeping, just in case she rolls over on her wrist. Keep the windows closed in case of a draft and let her eat when she's ready." The doctor explained. "She should be all right. If anything serious does happen, find me immediately. Phelanna, my nurse, will stay for the first nights to make sure she will stay in good health, if that's all right with you." He said and Farmer Cotton nodded.
He and his wife had been sitting by Rosie's bedside since Tom brought her home in the cart. Their sons were sitting outside the door with Samwise, who came along with Tom when they found her.
When the doctor left for the night, the boys came in to see how she was doing. She hadn't moved or talked but knowing that she was home was a little comfort. For a long time they sat there talking quietly, watching over Rosie, and Sam stayed at the end of her bedframe.
Phelanna came back from the bathroom with empty buckets and she and the lads carried Rosie to the bathing tub. "All-righty now, out ya go. Young Miss Cotton needs to be cleaned!" She said and she closed the door.
The tub was filled with warm water and after she stripped her, Phelanna set her in the tub and cleaned her hair. For the first time, Rosie stirred and shuddered being naked in the water, which was somewhat of a shock.
"W-wh-where am I? What happ...," Rosie tried to continue but she sighed and she was taken over by her fever.
"I'm cleansin' you up, Miss Cotton. You took a nasty fall from a tree, or so I'm told. Then you were found and brought back here," Phelanna said softly and she leaned Rosie forward to soap up her hair.
"Fell?" Rosie whispered and Phelanna kept her head up.
"Aye, you did. Lucky they found you."
"Tell my Nibs---thank you for gettin' me back home," She said slowly and Phelanna wiped the water away from her eyes.
"Aye, I will. He sent the alert back 'ome to your parents and they found you with Mr. Samwise-lad. It was that Gaffer's son that stayed by your side until he knew you'd be taken care of," She cooed, "Now no more questions, go back to sleep."
Rosie nodded off and fell asleep, trying to remember what had happened, and thought of how Sam came into the picture. She thought of Sam to keep the pain in her wrist off her mind. Phelanna poured a bucket of water over her head and she was oblivious to everything else as she closed her eyes.
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The candlelight still flickered in the room and Sam sat by Rosie's bedside. Farmer Cotton had been up but had fallen asleep across the room. The windows were like black canvases shining with tiny diamonds. Sam had been sitting there for nearly an hour, falling in and out of sleep when he wasn't watching over or thinking of her.
She would flinch in her sleep or move her lips silently and that was all. At times, she would start gasping as if she had been holding her breath and Sam would make sure she wouldn't roll on top of her wrapped wrist.
She lay there looking so beautiful but her body was still burning. Her curls were almost dry and Phelanna had dressed her in one of her summer cotton dresses to keep her warm. It hurt him so much to see her in this state and he dreaded for the worst. He cried silently and wiped his eyes hurriedly after he heard footsteps coming up the stairs.
Mrs. Cotton stepped and in and gave a sad smile. She spotted her husband asleep in the corner and put her hand over her mouth to keep herself from crying at the look of her daughter. Sam gave her his chair and kneeled down to comfort her.
She cried in Rosie's sheets and lifted her head, "Sam, I think it is time for you to head home. She won't be waking anytime soon," She sniffed and she gave him a hug.
"I will come back to see her when she's well," Sam said out loud, almost hoping that if he said this aloud it might come true. He bent over and held her face. He lightly rested his head against her burning forehead and left for home. He felt empty inside and didn't know what to expect.
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The house was silent except for the crackling fire in the living room and Sam made his way up the Cotton staircase for the first time in which seemed like years. The door to Rosie's room was open and Sam opened the door anxiously to see Rosie again and well.
The windows were closed and the curtains were drawn. He took a deep breath after pushing the door open just a little more. He stepped forward and his footsteps were loud and hollow against the hardwood floor. There was her body in the white sheets and Sam's heart fluttered.
Rosie. She was there peacefully with her face in her pillow and her curls were in a messy pile on her back. Sam tried to quiet his steps but they still made a racket on the floor. He came up slowly and brushed the curls away from her face. It was just enough for him to feel confident enough to tell her he loved her.
But something was wrong and his heart stopped. Her face was cold. He panicked and placed Rosie on her back. Her lips were blue and her chest was still from the absence of her breathing. She did not move and Sam said her name but the echoes of his footsteps were ringing in her ears.
Even through all the pain and confusion he felt, he could not cry and he looked behind him. The Cotton family was there in black crying and paying their respects and the curtains were pulled back to a brilliant sunlight.
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Sam jumped up in his bed and tangled himself in his sheets. He felt cold sweat on his neck and his breaths were coming out short and fast. It was still dark out but Sam guessed it was at least three in the morning. He put his face in his hand for a brief moment and brought his knees to his chest.
He looked towards the ceiling and unexpectedly, tears ran his face into his hair. He had gotten into a fluster for just a dream. Just a dream, he thought, but the more he thought about her cold face, the less he could get himself back the sleep.
He became dressed and ready for the day and knew he had to see Rosie. The dream gnawed away at his mind and he went out in the dead of night to wait for the sun to rise and the flowers to open.
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A fortnight after the incident and the same day from Sam's dream, he started over to the Cottons. He hadn't received any news and he had been miserable waiting at home.
He arrived and Mrs. Cotton took his coat and scarf (the same one she made him) and sent him upstairs. Since the event, the weather had taken a drastic change and it was the start of a brisk, cold autumn.
Upstairs, Sam slowly opened the door as it squeaked and found Nibs sitting on the edge of her bed. His mind was gone elsewhere until he saw Sam enter the room and he sat up a little straighter. Sam nodded his head out of acknowledgement towards Nibs.
He held a handful of morning glory and he walked over to the vase on a desk over on the other side of the room and filled it. It was empty except for a dead rose.
He pulled up a chair by her bedside and sat silently as Nibs kept to himself. Rosie was sleeping still in bed with her curls strewn over her pillow. The color was back in her face and the curtains were drawn back. The room was filled with a white sunlight. Sam's dream haunted him but she was well. Nothing else mattered.
Nibs kept his eyes steadily away until he broke the silence, "Morning glory?"
Sam nodded when he saw Nibs look towards the vase. "I've seen her come home with it many times. She'll have to find more vases with the handfuls she brings back." Nibs commented with a slight smile.
"Aye, for as long as I love her, she should expect morning glory for everyday I do," Sam stated openly and almost wished Rosie was awake to hear that. Nibs took his leave when he saw Sam's cheeks flush and closed the door.
Sam glanced over to Rosie and saw the chime box he gave her by her bedside and under it was his letter. He smiled softly and he waited for her to wake.
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She could hear the loud chirping of birds on the rooftop, and Rosie rubbed her legs together under the sheets and stretched. The sunshine peaked its way into her eyes and she flipped over towards her window. Everything was silent and she lay there indolently and looked at her vase. It was blooming with morning glory.
Her body was suddenly snapped out of its drowsiness and she rolled over slowly to the other side. Sam was napping with his head bent back and her heart melted seeing him again. His blonde curls around his soft face was just the way she remembered him.
"Sam!" She said gently and Sam rolled his head back up and rubbed his eyes. There she was awake and he sat on her bed. She sat up and they embraced for a long time.
"Rosie, I'm so glad you're well," He said and she murmured, "And I'm glad you're here."
They held hands and Rosie studied Sam's face. She hadn't seen him in so long and for the last week, everything was a blur from her fever. "I knew you were here when I saw the morning glory." She said and he smiled.
"You don't know how much I have worried over you, Rosie," Sam confessed and Rosie squeezed his hands.
She spoke languidly, "I don't remember much. They told me I fell and I suppose I remember that. I've been bed-ridden for so long...and I cannot believe I've missed my day of birth. I don't feel like I have reached my coming of age," Rosie laughed and she looked at him, "They told me that you found me."
"Aye," Sam said softly, "I was so upset when I did."
Rosie saw the letter she had read of his on her bedside table when she missed him in the middle of the night, "Sam, I'm so sorry about that night by the party tree. I know I didn't come---," Rosie pleaded and Sam shushed her with his fingers on her mouth.
"It's fine, Rosie. Tom told me why."
She grabbed his letter and handled it for a minute, "You know, Sam, you write beautiful letters. You can become a scribe or write documents for the Mayor with your script."
Sam blushed at what she said and shook his head, "No, I cannot see that happening. I'm a horrid speller." Rosie smiled, "Well, I can. I know you could."
They sat there talking quietly until Sam suggested to opening a window. He came to the window facing the open fields in front of the Cotton house and helped Rosie out of bed, even though she insisted she could walk on her own.
The window let in a mild breeze and they stood there overlooking the soft hills. Rosie leaned up against Sam who held her arms in his and they stood there nearly cheek to cheek. Nothing could describe what he felt with her there, smiling and well, when only that night before he had feared she would have died.
They listened to the birds and watched the grass ripple in the wind under the blue sky. Rosie felt his heartbeat on her back and said, "Sam, can you of another day such as this one in past autumns in the Shire?"
Sam shook his head slightly and gave a quiet 'no'. His mind was elsewhere and more than anything we wished he had the nerve to tell her he loved her, to turn her around to kiss her, or even to get down on the floor and propose. He held her bandaged wrist carefully and Rosie gathered her courage to ask him something that had been on her mind.
"Sam, can you see each other like this years from now, looking over the Shire again and all?" She whispered and Sam held his breath.
Yes! Everyday I want to be standing like this with you for the rest of my life! He thought and Sam's tongue faltered again to say what he really felt, "Perhaps." He stammered and he winced at what he said.
Rosie looked far off out the window when he said this and her heart sank. Perhaps? She thought and they stood there in an uncomfortable silent they knew all too well.
The breeze blew again minutes later and Sam held Rosie tighter to keep her warm. He could tell she was trying to be stronger than she was but the truth was her immunity was still slowly recovering. He could tell by the way that she held herself and how she wavered as she stood. He turned her to face him, "I suppose it's best if you get back to sleep. Then you can lie back down and rest and dream sweet dreams." He held her gaze with his just a little longer before looking away.
She took a deep breath, "I have dreamt all I could have in the last few days, and every sweet dream I dreamt was of you." She whispered, "I'm not ready to go back to sleep just yet, Sam."
Perhaps it was the way his tender hands held her or how she took notice of every time they would look into each other's eyes, but she had opened her heart to him. She had to show him how she felt, just now.
Rosie leaned in closer to his face and Sam's breath trembled as they froze in a standstill. He stared into her eyes until she closed them and with everything he wanted, he wanted to kiss her until he heard footsteps creak on the stairs. He stepped back away from her and just like he thought, there was a knock at the door.
By the time Tom came in, he saw Rosie at the window and Sam facing the door. "Still here, Sam? Rosie, you're awake!" Tom exclaimed but Rosie remained leaning over the window. Sam lost everything he wanted to do and just wanted to get away from the shame he oddly felt.
"I---I was just leaving, I have extended my stay. Goodbye, Tom. Goodbye, Rosie," He said embarrassed and he hurried out of the room and down the stairs; he grabbed his coat and scarf and with a quick nod to Mrs. Cotton in the kitchen, he was outside in the biting wind.
If Sam felt like if could replay anything in his life, he would right there. He could have told her he loved her right then and there, but he did not. He could have kissed Rosie and ignored Tom coming in the room, but his insecurity took over yet again. He could have stayed there, but he was here.
He walked on, shaking from his resistance to breaking down when he looked back. He wasn't even sure why he left. The Cottons double-leveled house was still well in his distance and he was stuck on a fine line to just keep walking or to turn back.
And if he did keep walking, he knew he would be walking away from his Rosie. But why was it so hard to tell her he loved her? He did, he knew he did. And he knew what he wanted. It was to go to her.
And before he knew it, he was sprinting back towards the Cottons dwelling. He didn't care if he wasn't thinking through what might happen next because with love the heart does the reasoning.
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Tom felt the tenseness between them when he entered and the struggle in Sam's goodbye. He walked slowly to Rosie by the window and leaned next to her. Her hair covered her profile but Tom could tell by her faint choking back that she was trying not to cry.
"Rosie, dear sister, why are you crying? Is there any reason to cry now? You are in good health and Sam came to visit you," He asked and Rosie wiped her face instantly.
"My crying is no reason for you to get involved with my feelings," She snapped under her breath and Tom gave her an understanding look.
"You will feel better if you tell me," Tom said and Rosie stepped away from the window and leaned against the wall with her tear-streaked face.
"You are going to think I'm so foolish," She laughed shortly and he tucked her hair behind her ear, "I think I am in love with Sam Gamgee." He smiled painfully but she closed her eyes, "No, I do love him and if love is supposed to hurt then I never want to love again. I feel stuck, like every two steps I take, I end up taking three back. I cannot be pretending with Sam anymore, I won't." She said.
Tom nodded as he rest on the window frame, "You cannot love without it hurting, Rosie-dear."
There was a silence and she looked towards the morning glory longingly. "I want him to come back."
Tom took a deep breath and looked out towards the fields. The trees were bare from their fallen leaves in the midst of the meadows and something caught his eye.
Slowly he said, "There shouldn't be anymore waiting, Rose." Rosie stuck her head out of the window with a somber face and gave a cry out of her joy at seeing Sam running back. He saw her back by the window and called out her name.
He had come back.
She leapt out and down the stairs out into the front of her house. She ran towards Sam with her dress whipping at her legs, but her body from her recovering fever slowed down and her steps stumbled. Sam still came forward and at last when they reached each other, they held one another in each other's arms.
"Rosie, I am so sorry, forgive me please! I regret what I have never told you---please believe me when I say that I do want to be with you. I want to be next to you here in the Shire many years from now. I cannot say why I cannot tell you these things at first, if you follow me."
He blurt all of this out very fast and his dark eyes were brilliant, "I didn't mean to leave you just now and I won't ever again." He paused and read her emotions through her shining eyes and he blushed with a sheepish grin, "And---and do you really dream of me?"
Sam seemed breath-taken with the sun in his golden hair and she gave a light laugh at his simple question and held him in a slight embrace with her arms around his neck, "Yes, Sam, I do. I do, I really do. Everynight, you are the last thing I think of before I fall asleep and every morning you are the first."
Sam put his hands on her back and placed his head beside her curly head. "Rosie, I know that we have known each other for a long, long time and honesty I have never told you that I think you have the most beautiful face and you have always been the first lass on my mind. You are so beautiful inside and---and so smart and pure and Rosie," He confessed and he faced her with his hands tenderly around her face, "I have been falling in love with you ever since I can't remember. I love you, Rosie Cotton, so very much."
"Samwise, I don't know what else to say except that I love you too. You are everything to me! I love you, I love you---," Rosie repeated in a shaky whisper and before she could get lost in her talking, Sam instantly leaned in and kissed her face gently many times until their lips finally met. And together they kissed out of the irrepressible love they had felt for each other.
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Chapter 14: To Be Loved
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Everyone in the dark room was silent and looked down in grave faces. The candlelights cast dim shadows in all corners of the room and all was still.
The doctor leaned over Rosie one last time to record her breathing pattern and he took the wet cloth out of the basin and draped it over her forehead, "Just let her sleep. She has developed a severe case of water deprivation and heat stroke and all you can do now is give her water and keep her cool. She twisted her wrist in the fall and it will heal over time. She has no head injuries, thank goodness for that.
"Make sure you check in while she's sleeping, just in case she rolls over on her wrist. Keep the windows closed in case of a draft and let her eat when she's ready." The doctor explained. "She should be all right. If anything serious does happen, find me immediately. Phelanna, my nurse, will stay for the first nights to make sure she will stay in good health, if that's all right with you." He said and Farmer Cotton nodded.
He and his wife had been sitting by Rosie's bedside since Tom brought her home in the cart. Their sons were sitting outside the door with Samwise, who came along with Tom when they found her.
When the doctor left for the night, the boys came in to see how she was doing. She hadn't moved or talked but knowing that she was home was a little comfort. For a long time they sat there talking quietly, watching over Rosie, and Sam stayed at the end of her bedframe.
Phelanna came back from the bathroom with empty buckets and she and the lads carried Rosie to the bathing tub. "All-righty now, out ya go. Young Miss Cotton needs to be cleaned!" She said and she closed the door.
The tub was filled with warm water and after she stripped her, Phelanna set her in the tub and cleaned her hair. For the first time, Rosie stirred and shuddered being naked in the water, which was somewhat of a shock.
"W-wh-where am I? What happ...," Rosie tried to continue but she sighed and she was taken over by her fever.
"I'm cleansin' you up, Miss Cotton. You took a nasty fall from a tree, or so I'm told. Then you were found and brought back here," Phelanna said softly and she leaned Rosie forward to soap up her hair.
"Fell?" Rosie whispered and Phelanna kept her head up.
"Aye, you did. Lucky they found you."
"Tell my Nibs---thank you for gettin' me back home," She said slowly and Phelanna wiped the water away from her eyes.
"Aye, I will. He sent the alert back 'ome to your parents and they found you with Mr. Samwise-lad. It was that Gaffer's son that stayed by your side until he knew you'd be taken care of," She cooed, "Now no more questions, go back to sleep."
Rosie nodded off and fell asleep, trying to remember what had happened, and thought of how Sam came into the picture. She thought of Sam to keep the pain in her wrist off her mind. Phelanna poured a bucket of water over her head and she was oblivious to everything else as she closed her eyes.
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The candlelight still flickered in the room and Sam sat by Rosie's bedside. Farmer Cotton had been up but had fallen asleep across the room. The windows were like black canvases shining with tiny diamonds. Sam had been sitting there for nearly an hour, falling in and out of sleep when he wasn't watching over or thinking of her.
She would flinch in her sleep or move her lips silently and that was all. At times, she would start gasping as if she had been holding her breath and Sam would make sure she wouldn't roll on top of her wrapped wrist.
She lay there looking so beautiful but her body was still burning. Her curls were almost dry and Phelanna had dressed her in one of her summer cotton dresses to keep her warm. It hurt him so much to see her in this state and he dreaded for the worst. He cried silently and wiped his eyes hurriedly after he heard footsteps coming up the stairs.
Mrs. Cotton stepped and in and gave a sad smile. She spotted her husband asleep in the corner and put her hand over her mouth to keep herself from crying at the look of her daughter. Sam gave her his chair and kneeled down to comfort her.
She cried in Rosie's sheets and lifted her head, "Sam, I think it is time for you to head home. She won't be waking anytime soon," She sniffed and she gave him a hug.
"I will come back to see her when she's well," Sam said out loud, almost hoping that if he said this aloud it might come true. He bent over and held her face. He lightly rested his head against her burning forehead and left for home. He felt empty inside and didn't know what to expect.
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The house was silent except for the crackling fire in the living room and Sam made his way up the Cotton staircase for the first time in which seemed like years. The door to Rosie's room was open and Sam opened the door anxiously to see Rosie again and well.
The windows were closed and the curtains were drawn. He took a deep breath after pushing the door open just a little more. He stepped forward and his footsteps were loud and hollow against the hardwood floor. There was her body in the white sheets and Sam's heart fluttered.
Rosie. She was there peacefully with her face in her pillow and her curls were in a messy pile on her back. Sam tried to quiet his steps but they still made a racket on the floor. He came up slowly and brushed the curls away from her face. It was just enough for him to feel confident enough to tell her he loved her.
But something was wrong and his heart stopped. Her face was cold. He panicked and placed Rosie on her back. Her lips were blue and her chest was still from the absence of her breathing. She did not move and Sam said her name but the echoes of his footsteps were ringing in her ears.
Even through all the pain and confusion he felt, he could not cry and he looked behind him. The Cotton family was there in black crying and paying their respects and the curtains were pulled back to a brilliant sunlight.
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Sam jumped up in his bed and tangled himself in his sheets. He felt cold sweat on his neck and his breaths were coming out short and fast. It was still dark out but Sam guessed it was at least three in the morning. He put his face in his hand for a brief moment and brought his knees to his chest.
He looked towards the ceiling and unexpectedly, tears ran his face into his hair. He had gotten into a fluster for just a dream. Just a dream, he thought, but the more he thought about her cold face, the less he could get himself back the sleep.
He became dressed and ready for the day and knew he had to see Rosie. The dream gnawed away at his mind and he went out in the dead of night to wait for the sun to rise and the flowers to open.
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A fortnight after the incident and the same day from Sam's dream, he started over to the Cottons. He hadn't received any news and he had been miserable waiting at home.
He arrived and Mrs. Cotton took his coat and scarf (the same one she made him) and sent him upstairs. Since the event, the weather had taken a drastic change and it was the start of a brisk, cold autumn.
Upstairs, Sam slowly opened the door as it squeaked and found Nibs sitting on the edge of her bed. His mind was gone elsewhere until he saw Sam enter the room and he sat up a little straighter. Sam nodded his head out of acknowledgement towards Nibs.
He held a handful of morning glory and he walked over to the vase on a desk over on the other side of the room and filled it. It was empty except for a dead rose.
He pulled up a chair by her bedside and sat silently as Nibs kept to himself. Rosie was sleeping still in bed with her curls strewn over her pillow. The color was back in her face and the curtains were drawn back. The room was filled with a white sunlight. Sam's dream haunted him but she was well. Nothing else mattered.
Nibs kept his eyes steadily away until he broke the silence, "Morning glory?"
Sam nodded when he saw Nibs look towards the vase. "I've seen her come home with it many times. She'll have to find more vases with the handfuls she brings back." Nibs commented with a slight smile.
"Aye, for as long as I love her, she should expect morning glory for everyday I do," Sam stated openly and almost wished Rosie was awake to hear that. Nibs took his leave when he saw Sam's cheeks flush and closed the door.
Sam glanced over to Rosie and saw the chime box he gave her by her bedside and under it was his letter. He smiled softly and he waited for her to wake.
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She could hear the loud chirping of birds on the rooftop, and Rosie rubbed her legs together under the sheets and stretched. The sunshine peaked its way into her eyes and she flipped over towards her window. Everything was silent and she lay there indolently and looked at her vase. It was blooming with morning glory.
Her body was suddenly snapped out of its drowsiness and she rolled over slowly to the other side. Sam was napping with his head bent back and her heart melted seeing him again. His blonde curls around his soft face was just the way she remembered him.
"Sam!" She said gently and Sam rolled his head back up and rubbed his eyes. There she was awake and he sat on her bed. She sat up and they embraced for a long time.
"Rosie, I'm so glad you're well," He said and she murmured, "And I'm glad you're here."
They held hands and Rosie studied Sam's face. She hadn't seen him in so long and for the last week, everything was a blur from her fever. "I knew you were here when I saw the morning glory." She said and he smiled.
"You don't know how much I have worried over you, Rosie," Sam confessed and Rosie squeezed his hands.
She spoke languidly, "I don't remember much. They told me I fell and I suppose I remember that. I've been bed-ridden for so long...and I cannot believe I've missed my day of birth. I don't feel like I have reached my coming of age," Rosie laughed and she looked at him, "They told me that you found me."
"Aye," Sam said softly, "I was so upset when I did."
Rosie saw the letter she had read of his on her bedside table when she missed him in the middle of the night, "Sam, I'm so sorry about that night by the party tree. I know I didn't come---," Rosie pleaded and Sam shushed her with his fingers on her mouth.
"It's fine, Rosie. Tom told me why."
She grabbed his letter and handled it for a minute, "You know, Sam, you write beautiful letters. You can become a scribe or write documents for the Mayor with your script."
Sam blushed at what she said and shook his head, "No, I cannot see that happening. I'm a horrid speller." Rosie smiled, "Well, I can. I know you could."
They sat there talking quietly until Sam suggested to opening a window. He came to the window facing the open fields in front of the Cotton house and helped Rosie out of bed, even though she insisted she could walk on her own.
The window let in a mild breeze and they stood there overlooking the soft hills. Rosie leaned up against Sam who held her arms in his and they stood there nearly cheek to cheek. Nothing could describe what he felt with her there, smiling and well, when only that night before he had feared she would have died.
They listened to the birds and watched the grass ripple in the wind under the blue sky. Rosie felt his heartbeat on her back and said, "Sam, can you of another day such as this one in past autumns in the Shire?"
Sam shook his head slightly and gave a quiet 'no'. His mind was elsewhere and more than anything we wished he had the nerve to tell her he loved her, to turn her around to kiss her, or even to get down on the floor and propose. He held her bandaged wrist carefully and Rosie gathered her courage to ask him something that had been on her mind.
"Sam, can you see each other like this years from now, looking over the Shire again and all?" She whispered and Sam held his breath.
Yes! Everyday I want to be standing like this with you for the rest of my life! He thought and Sam's tongue faltered again to say what he really felt, "Perhaps." He stammered and he winced at what he said.
Rosie looked far off out the window when he said this and her heart sank. Perhaps? She thought and they stood there in an uncomfortable silent they knew all too well.
The breeze blew again minutes later and Sam held Rosie tighter to keep her warm. He could tell she was trying to be stronger than she was but the truth was her immunity was still slowly recovering. He could tell by the way that she held herself and how she wavered as she stood. He turned her to face him, "I suppose it's best if you get back to sleep. Then you can lie back down and rest and dream sweet dreams." He held her gaze with his just a little longer before looking away.
She took a deep breath, "I have dreamt all I could have in the last few days, and every sweet dream I dreamt was of you." She whispered, "I'm not ready to go back to sleep just yet, Sam."
Perhaps it was the way his tender hands held her or how she took notice of every time they would look into each other's eyes, but she had opened her heart to him. She had to show him how she felt, just now.
Rosie leaned in closer to his face and Sam's breath trembled as they froze in a standstill. He stared into her eyes until she closed them and with everything he wanted, he wanted to kiss her until he heard footsteps creak on the stairs. He stepped back away from her and just like he thought, there was a knock at the door.
By the time Tom came in, he saw Rosie at the window and Sam facing the door. "Still here, Sam? Rosie, you're awake!" Tom exclaimed but Rosie remained leaning over the window. Sam lost everything he wanted to do and just wanted to get away from the shame he oddly felt.
"I---I was just leaving, I have extended my stay. Goodbye, Tom. Goodbye, Rosie," He said embarrassed and he hurried out of the room and down the stairs; he grabbed his coat and scarf and with a quick nod to Mrs. Cotton in the kitchen, he was outside in the biting wind.
If Sam felt like if could replay anything in his life, he would right there. He could have told her he loved her right then and there, but he did not. He could have kissed Rosie and ignored Tom coming in the room, but his insecurity took over yet again. He could have stayed there, but he was here.
He walked on, shaking from his resistance to breaking down when he looked back. He wasn't even sure why he left. The Cottons double-leveled house was still well in his distance and he was stuck on a fine line to just keep walking or to turn back.
And if he did keep walking, he knew he would be walking away from his Rosie. But why was it so hard to tell her he loved her? He did, he knew he did. And he knew what he wanted. It was to go to her.
And before he knew it, he was sprinting back towards the Cottons dwelling. He didn't care if he wasn't thinking through what might happen next because with love the heart does the reasoning.
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Tom felt the tenseness between them when he entered and the struggle in Sam's goodbye. He walked slowly to Rosie by the window and leaned next to her. Her hair covered her profile but Tom could tell by her faint choking back that she was trying not to cry.
"Rosie, dear sister, why are you crying? Is there any reason to cry now? You are in good health and Sam came to visit you," He asked and Rosie wiped her face instantly.
"My crying is no reason for you to get involved with my feelings," She snapped under her breath and Tom gave her an understanding look.
"You will feel better if you tell me," Tom said and Rosie stepped away from the window and leaned against the wall with her tear-streaked face.
"You are going to think I'm so foolish," She laughed shortly and he tucked her hair behind her ear, "I think I am in love with Sam Gamgee." He smiled painfully but she closed her eyes, "No, I do love him and if love is supposed to hurt then I never want to love again. I feel stuck, like every two steps I take, I end up taking three back. I cannot be pretending with Sam anymore, I won't." She said.
Tom nodded as he rest on the window frame, "You cannot love without it hurting, Rosie-dear."
There was a silence and she looked towards the morning glory longingly. "I want him to come back."
Tom took a deep breath and looked out towards the fields. The trees were bare from their fallen leaves in the midst of the meadows and something caught his eye.
Slowly he said, "There shouldn't be anymore waiting, Rose." Rosie stuck her head out of the window with a somber face and gave a cry out of her joy at seeing Sam running back. He saw her back by the window and called out her name.
He had come back.
She leapt out and down the stairs out into the front of her house. She ran towards Sam with her dress whipping at her legs, but her body from her recovering fever slowed down and her steps stumbled. Sam still came forward and at last when they reached each other, they held one another in each other's arms.
"Rosie, I am so sorry, forgive me please! I regret what I have never told you---please believe me when I say that I do want to be with you. I want to be next to you here in the Shire many years from now. I cannot say why I cannot tell you these things at first, if you follow me."
He blurt all of this out very fast and his dark eyes were brilliant, "I didn't mean to leave you just now and I won't ever again." He paused and read her emotions through her shining eyes and he blushed with a sheepish grin, "And---and do you really dream of me?"
Sam seemed breath-taken with the sun in his golden hair and she gave a light laugh at his simple question and held him in a slight embrace with her arms around his neck, "Yes, Sam, I do. I do, I really do. Everynight, you are the last thing I think of before I fall asleep and every morning you are the first."
Sam put his hands on her back and placed his head beside her curly head. "Rosie, I know that we have known each other for a long, long time and honesty I have never told you that I think you have the most beautiful face and you have always been the first lass on my mind. You are so beautiful inside and---and so smart and pure and Rosie," He confessed and he faced her with his hands tenderly around her face, "I have been falling in love with you ever since I can't remember. I love you, Rosie Cotton, so very much."
"Samwise, I don't know what else to say except that I love you too. You are everything to me! I love you, I love you---," Rosie repeated in a shaky whisper and before she could get lost in her talking, Sam instantly leaned in and kissed her face gently many times until their lips finally met. And together they kissed out of the irrepressible love they had felt for each other.
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