Part 5

He impatiently waited outside the Intensive Care Unit of the Cedar-Sinai Medical Center hospital. His sister sat across him and watched him walk back and forth. "Ross, will you please sit down?" she said.

Ross stopped and sat beside Monica, "What really happened? Where's mom?" he worriedly asked.

"Mom's inside with dad. The doctor said dad had some minor complication- he said it was common after having a bypass operation. I guess mom over-exaggerated the whole situation when she called."

"Yeah... she was panicking on the phone. I thought something else happened!"

"Are you okay? It looks like something else is bothering you!"

Ross looked at her then back to the floor, "Is there any chance Rachel called you this evening?"

"Why? What did you do this time?"

Ross ran his hands through his scalp, obviously irritated.

"Ross, did you do what I told you to do? Did you actually think?" she asked.

"I did Mon," he softly began, "I thought about our past, how we are now and how I want our relationship to be... I thought about everything... And I DO want her back!"

Monica smiled and rubbed her brother's back, always hoping that everything will work out between her brother and her best friend. She always thought that, 'Ross needs to use his head.'

Ross asked for advice days before. He desperately came to her, in need of a sensitive person to talk to because he didn't know what to do- he was thinking of giving up on Rachel. Rachel acknowledged his presence, but he was afraid she wasn't at the same place he was because she didn't show the same affection, despite her 'I love you too' replies to him. The worst thing that was killing him was the fact that she had numerous suitors, and her co-star in her weekly sitcom was even courting her. He, on the other hand, still hadn't dated anyone seriously since they separated, and he was desperate to know if he had a chance.

Luckily, Monica was there. She was Rachel's confidant and best friend- he knew he needed her opinion on this.

"Ross, you've been at it for almost eight months now," she first told him that day- referring to the time Rachel talked to him about Tom. "If you really love her, then prove to her that you'll wait with no limits... Whether you do or don't have a chance. This is Rachel we're talking about, and trusting a person all over again doesn't take over night. Just... Just think about it, Ross!"

Her brother had grown in a span of five days. Monica looked at him and smiled, "Cheer up Ross, she liked it."

Surprised, Ross turned to her and looked at her straight in the eye, "What do you mean she liked it? Liked what? What did she tell you?"

"Hey, calm down! She just called me and told me what happened. She said that you kissed her-"

"And?" Ross asked, cutting her.

Monica rolled her eyes and continued, "And said that you're a terrible kisser!" she joked.

Ross shot her a look.

"Just stop talking and let me finish ok?" she said.

He nodded and eagerly listened to Monica.

"She said that she was surprised that you kissed her- in a good way though."

"And?"

"And that's the end!"

"What do you mean? How did she tell you? Was she excited? Did she call you?" Ross queried.

"Ross calm down! Okay, she called me a while ago and told me you guys kissed. I don't know if she called me to tell me about that or because she needed my apple cinnamon cheesecake recipe! She was excited about the cheesecake though... about the kiss, I'm not sure… but it didn't sound bad." she replied.

"Okay, what do you mean not bad? Did she freak out?"

Monica smiled and said, "Why don't you ask her yourself?" and looked past Ross.

Ross felt the goosebumps all over his body. He slowly looked behind him and saw Rachel standing across him and Monica holding a bouquet of flowers.

Ross carefully handed Rachel the cup of coffee from the vending machine. They have been waiting for a few hours; it was already around 4 in the morning and they still had no word from the operating room. Chandler was there as well and the four of them remained in the waiting room, talking all night/morning to ease the tension of anxiety.

Ross wanted to talk to Rachel badly, but he was too afraid to do so. Rachel, who was across him noticed his fidgetiness and whispered, "Ross, are you okay?" trying not to ruin Chandler's lame joke.

"Yeah, I'm fine!" he replied, forcing a smile.

Rachel smiled back and paid attention to Chandler.

But Ross still could not contain himself. Both his mind and heart were playing tricks on him- his concern for Jack bothered him, and his unanswered questions for Rachel bothered him even more.

"Hey, why don't you come with me to the cafeteria? I'm sure it's still open!" she invited, interrupting his thoughts.

They excused themselves and proceeded to the cafeteria. Finding it open, they ordered a few delicacies and sat down. Though Ross remained quiet… he was too nervous and tired to talk.

Rachel asked again, "Ross, are you seriously okay? You look really tired. Why don't you go home and sleep first? If something comes up, we'll call you right away!"

Finally, Ross spoke, "I'm okay. I'd rather stay here, I'm sure there are loads of flashes and reporters outside the hospital anyway!"

Minutes have passed and Ross remained silent. By now, Rachel was already pissed off; she knew there was something bothering him. "Ross, what's wrong with you?" finally snapping, "Is this about Jack? Or is this about the kiss?"

She knew him too well... Getting to response but a stare, Rachel exclaimed, "I give up..." and stood up.

Exasperated, Ross stood up too and followed her. "Rach," he called, "Rach stop."

She turned around to look at him. "What?" she asked.

After contemplating on what to do, Ross then decided to tell her the truth. "It's about what happened before I left your house."

"What about it?" Rachel said.

"Nothing- I'm just..."

"Why is it bothering you? Was it wrong that you kissed me?"

Ross looked up at her and replied, "No, no... I just thought that maybe you didn't want me to and all."

Rachel ran her hand through her hair and sighed, "That's what's bothering you?"

"Yeah... I just said that I didn't want to rush you and all and-"

Rachel cut his lengthy confession by kissing him on the lips.

Stunned and speechless, Ross blankly stared at her.

Rachel smiled and said, "Relax Ross, let's go," looking around, "before someone else sees us here." She grinned pulling him and went back to the waiting room.

Not long from then, Judy Geller came out and announced that Jack's condition was stable.

"Rachel kissed you?"

"Yeah..." Ross sheepishly replied to Chandler.

"Oh come on man, don't tell me Monica didn't tell you!" he added.

Chandler replied, "Well, she did. I just wanted to act all 'surprised' when you told me! So how was it?"

"It was..." he smiled, "it was something I didn't expect. Eight months of nothing, then this? Totally worth it!"

On the other side, the girls were having coffee. Monica and Phoebe paid full attention to Rachel's story. "I just feel so complete when I'm with him, and I simply can't explain why. I know I love him, but I don't know if I can still be IN LOVE with him. Honestly, I still can't forgive what he did, but being with him feels so right."

"Are you telling me that after months of hard work handling your divorce, you two are just gonna reconcile and get married again?" Phoebe asked.

"Whoa, too far Phoebes. We don't even have plans to reconcile yet! We're just... getting there?" she said, all giddy.

"Oh my God Rachel, where have you been all these years? Ross has been trying to do that since like forever! Hello? Why would he postpone everything for you? Or take you out with the kids wherever you wanna go… Or buy everything you or the kids want!" Phoebe stopped and looked at the person beside her, "Monica, in case you don't know, your foot is hurting mine!" This conversation left Phoebe dumbfounded... she caught Monica's evil stare and Rachel's shocked look, and "Oh no..." was all she managed to say.

"You guys knew all along? Why didn't you tell me?" she squealed.

"How could you not know? It's very obvious..." Phoebe replied.

"Monica, is this true? Since when?"

Monica nervously smiled; the situation was out of hand- She couldn't imagine Ross' reaction once he finds out that they forced on the issue that he wanted her back. "I- I dunno... a couple of months? Two years?"

"Oh God... I feel so blind! So that's why he hasn't dated anyone since we separated? But I had a boyfriend since!" she loudly exhaled, "You guys should've told me!"

"We thought you knew!" Phoebe replied.

A terrible day... too much information all at once! She couldn't imagine the fact that Ross has been there all along… well, she knew he had feelings for her all along but… reconciling? He held up to her for two years and it was just now that she thought of it? Suddenly, everything became as clear as glass to her… but she just didn't know what to do.

Ross couldn't stop smiling. He and Rachel had deep conversations about how they still loved each other, but nothing physical happened. They only shared a few hugs and kisses on the forehead or cheek. But recalling what they had the night before and that morning was different, it was like he was injected with the energy to pursue his goal. He sighed in satisfaction and drifted to sleep; hoping that tomorrow would be a better day.

Rachel tossed and turned in bed, while Emma quietly slept beside her. She finally sat up and attempted to read a book.

'What should I do?' she thought. She loved Ross, but after everything that happened between them, she realized that love wasn't enough to make a relationship work. Love was just 50, the other 50 was about trust. She was afraid to take the risk, it was just too dangerous! But then again, kissing him felt so good. That certain feeling did not exist when she was with Tom- that certain feeling was something only Ross could ever do. After the longest time, he still managed to fill her stomach with butterflies.

She couldn't decide at all!

She knew Ross was attempting to get her back since she and Tom broke up, and all the while, she just went with the flow. But now, she had to make firm decisions, she didn't think things were THAT serious.

Emma woke up due to her mother's constant movements on the bed while reading. She looked up at Rachel and frowned, "What time is it?"

Rachel smiled at her daughter, 'that was a classic Ross gesture,' she thought. Normally, when they were still together, Ross would wake up because of Rachel's movements in bed and ask that question. She would always drop her book and cuddle next to him. "Honey, it's 3am," she replied to her sleepy daughter.

Laying the book down on the night table, she turned off the lampshade and cuddled next to Emma. Once again, she thought of Ross. She often missed him especially during the night because their kids often reminded her of him.

She just closed her eyes and tried her best to remove the name and image of Ross in her head, 'This is much harder than I thought.'

"Mon, I hate you!" Rachel said, talking on the phone. "No, I wasn't able to sleep at all... I don't know! I have a dinner tonight with my producers and I look like shit. No, I still haven't figured out what I'm gonna do."

She heard a knock on her door and went to answer it. It was Anita, along with a dozen of lilies- her favorite. "Yes, Anita?"

"Madam, a florist came over and delivered these. I suppose they are for you?"

Rachel smiled and accepted the flowers, "Okay, thanks Anita." She laid them down on the bed and searched for a card.

"Anita just brought up a dozen of lilies. I don't know who they're from though. Monica, I can't just presume they're from Ross!"

Finally finding the card, she picked it out and read its' contents, "'Rach- I just can't stop thinking of you, yesterday was heaven. Ross.' Okay, okay, you're right."

In a daze, Rachel plopped down her bed and returned the card. She picked up the flowers and smelled them. "You know what, talking to you is just worsening this whole confusion I have! There are two sides in this Mon, not just one." She further listened to her friend and laughed. Not long from then, she said her goodbyes and closed the phone. She looked at the flowers, picked up the phone again and dialed. "Hello? Yeah hi, can I please speak with Ross? This is Rachel." Rachel couldn't contain herself; she nervously fondled with the pillow while waiting for Ross. "Hey Ross! Thanks for the flowers! Now? Well, the kids are out. Monica had them brought to her house cause Jack and Erica wanted to play. Emma's there too. Tonight? Hmmm... I've got a dinner tonight, what about tomorrow? Oh, where are you going? I see... Okay, maybe I can cancel my dinner tonight and just move it tomorrow! Alright, I'll see you. Bye!"

What was happening to her?

After putting down the phone, she couldn't stop smiling. Thoughts of Ross filled her mind. She had butterflies in her stomach, and she couldn't stop admiring and smelling the flowers he gave her. She was like a high school girl, all giddy because of a dozen of flowers. Yet she still couldn't make up her mind... could she see through him now? Should they seriously give their relationship another try? Can she forgive him?

It took her forever and a day to get dressed. She couldn't decide on what to wear.

"Where are you going, mommy?" Emma asked while watching Rachel frantically choose a dress.

"I have a dinner sweetie."

"Is it a date? Is it with Uncle Tom or Uncle Jerry?"

"It's with daddy, honey."

Emma hugely smiled and ran outside the room. Moments later, Justin, Mattie and Emma barged in the room. "You're having dinner with daddy?" Justin asked.

Rachel nodded. Emma started fumbling through her formal dresses and picked one. She held up a white, silky dress with a low cleavage cut- the dress she wore during the last premiere of her movie, which by the way had raving reviews. "Mommy, wear this one!"

Rachel smiled and knelt beside Emma, "Honey, it's only a dinner."

"But it's sexy, mommy!" she replied.

Mattie started fumbling through her clothes as well. "Maybe if you wear something sexy, daddy will come home again!" Mattie added.

Rachel's eyes widened and shot them a look. She began to explain to her kids, "Hey, I'm just gonna have dinner with your daddy. That doesn't mean anything, we're just two friends having dinner- like me and Uncle Joey or Uncle Chandler. We'll probably talk about you three!"

The kids' hopeful faces disappeared, and that broke Rachel's heart. She wasn't aware of how a momentary turn of events would affect her kids. To lighten up their mood, she assigned them to each come up with a dress she could wear… and after hours of preparation, she finally chose a dress- simple black spaghetti strapped, knee-length dress with a V-shaped neckline, exposing her cleavage but conservative enough to show only a part of it.

She was nervous, she didn't know why. 'Whatever happens, happens for a reason,' she constantly repeated to herself. Her mobile rang- she knew it was Ross, and he was already downstairs.

As if on cue, Anita knocked and entered the room, "Madam, señor Ross is downstairs waiting for you!"

Rachel smiled and dismissed her. With her was her assistant, helping her put on make-up. She wanted something light only, but she didn't have time to have her make-up artist sent or even do it herself anymore. "Thank you Ellen, please tell Mr. Peterson that I'm very, very sorry. Make up something, like I'm sick and I have diarrhea. But do tell him I'm available tomorrow!"

Ellen teasingly smiled and nodded, "Not a problem. Go, your date is waiting!"

Rachel shot her a look, "Shush!" She smiled, grabbed her bag and waved goodbye.

Two flights of stairs beneath her room...Ross was surrounded by his kids on the couch.

"Dad, can we go?" Mattie asked.

"Yeah daddy? Pleeeeaaassseee?" Emma pleaded.

"But it's almost your bedtime, and you have school tomorrow!"

"So? I can wake up!" Mattie proudly said.

Before he could answer, Ross heard footsteps from the stairs and he slowly looked up… his date was descending so gorgeous that he was left speechless. His eyes met hers, and his smile acknowledged hers... he was in shock, in an unconscious state- like he was dreaming but was awake. His heart pounded, his palms started to sweat, he could feel his ears burning...

"ROSS!" Emma screamed.

Ross' attention shifted to his daughter, "Ye- Yeah honey?"

"Puh-leeeaaasseee?" she pleaded again.

"Ems, we talked about this already," Rachel said, approaching them.

"I think you three should go up and prepare for bed now," Ross added.

"But no one's gonna tuck me in," Emma said.

Justin rolled his eyes and pulled his sister, "Come on, I'll just read you a story or something!"

Mattie nudged his mother's arm, "Can I sleep beside you tonight?"

Emma looked hopeful as well, "ME TOO!"

"Yeah mom, can we?" Justin asked.

"Okay, you guys can sleep in my room BUT TV's off by 9! I'll be calling to check up on you guys."

The three of them bid their parents goodbye and left.

"You look amazing by the way," Ross said, smiling at Rachel.

She blushed and replied, "Thanks, you look good yourself," pertaining to his all-black Armani suit.

Ross always had a simple but expensive sense of style, making him fashionably famous.

"Where are we having dinner by the way?" Rachel asked before leaving the house.

"Cicada. Don't worry, I got a private room. My 'men' are there to secure safety!"

Rachel laughed, she hated worrying about the paparazzi- especially now, they'd make thousands of dollars if they were seen having dinner together, dressed fancy.

Cicada... a place filled with memories. It's one of Rachel's favorite Italian restaurants in LA. She once celebrated her Emmy party there.

They were seated in a private room, filled with candles. If there was something she hated about Ross, it was how he was able to sweep her of her feet with his words and romantic gestures. They talked all night and were having the best time- the tension was gone, both simply enjoyed each other's company, and the delicious wine definitely made the night.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Ross assured her, "I wanna give it another try, Rach." Finally, he said it! After two and a half years, he had the courage to say those words… "I don't care if it takes you years to accept me," he smiled, "I don't care if you're not in the same place as I am now. I just wanna know that I tried- and that I did my best."

Rachel smiled at him, she knew this was gonna happen. Thankfully, she was able to process the whole situation in her mind and made a decision, "I wanna know that I tried too."

Ross was too happy- it seemed impossible. "Maybe it would be better if take it step by step..." she suggested.

"Yeah, I guess it would," he softly spoke. Ross was excited. Happy. Thrilled. In love. Name it, he felt it. Yet at the same time, he was scared. It was a risk- either have Rachel forever, or lose her forever- and he loved her too much. She was his life. After almost 16 years of knowing her, befriending her, marrying her, and having kids with her, he still couldn't imagine his life without her.

Rachel was still contemplating if the decision she made was right. They were getting there anyway... but she was scared to get hurt again. 'Was it too quick?' she asked herself. His nearness no longer gave her the feeling of hatred... but the feeling of love and satisfaction. So maybe it was a sign...

They decided not to tell their kids. After seeing their reaction earlier, they realized that every move they made affected the children. They wanted things to work out first, because they didn't want them to suffer again. Predictable as ever, they had become tipsy after a few hours. Ross suggested that they leave because the restaurant was about to close, and that they were the only costumers left.

It was a long drive home, but neither of them noticed it. They were busy cherishing every moment. Ross' eyes never left hers. With only each other at the back of Ross' Bentley, they couldn't help but cuddle. The driver couldn't see them anyway, nor could the rest of the world. Slowly, he reached for her hand and smiled. Rachel gripped his tighter and leaned in for a kiss, but Ross stopped her, "It's the wine," he said.

"So, let's make the most out of it," Rachel joked.

"But-"

Rachel cut him by saying, "Ross do you wanna kiss me or not? I'm conscious, just tipsy and not drunk- so you're NOT taking advantage of me!"

"Fine!" Ross replied and grabbed her face. It was a long ride home indeed!

They made their way to the house, and after making sure that Anita was not around or any other helper for that matter, they began kissing again. Something came over them... maybe the torch of passion that ignited from long ago.

"Stop..." Rachel said, deeply breathing. She looked at him and caressed his face, "Come with me."

Ross knew it was a mixture of passion and wine... he felt it too. Slowly, they ascended to her room. Before entering the room, Ross passionately kissed her and looked her in the eyes. He wanted to drown in them. He wanted to hold onto her forever... but he knew that night wasn't the right time yet. "You know I love you, right?"

Rachel nodded.

Before she could say anything else, Ross placed a finger on her lips, "I'll wait, Rach." One last time, he slowly kissed her, hugging her tight. Neither of them wanted to let go, but Ross knew he had to. He didn't want to go that far; he didn't want Rachel to regret anything because the wine definitely played a big part. "Goodnight Rach," he said, opening her door and motioning her to go in.

Both found their kids asleep on the big bed.

He smiled at her and whispered to her ear, "I love you," then left.