Part 7
Rachel sobbed as she put down the phone. She didn't want things to end, but then again, she couldn't get everything she wanted. For the past few hours, she had been contemplating whether she made the right decision of telling Ross how she felt or not. At the same time, Ross neither called nor sent a text message, granting her wish for space and time.
Montage
Accompanied by the song The Reason by Hoobastank
I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
Ross leaned his head against the wall, with tears streaming down his face. A few hours turned into a few days, a few days turned into a few weeks...
Rachel glanced at pictures they took a long time ago... the first had her, Ross, and little Justin on Rachel's arms; then Ross and Rachel's wedding picture- one of the few photos they released to the public; and lastly, the stolen photo she recently took in Bahamas.
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
Ross attended some of the press conferences, although his mind wasn't focused. As much a he wanted o go home and fix his life, he couldn't... he had one more agonizing week left. He finally called Rachel after pondering on what he should do.
Rachel saw her phone and slowly picked it up, "Ross?"
Ross sadly smiled upon hearing her voice- he was glad she answered his call. "Hey..." he greeted. After a few minutes of silence, he bravely began, "So is this it?"
Rachel looked down on the floor as Ross nervously waited for her reply.
After giving her the time she needed to think, he hoped and prayed her decision would change.
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You
He pleaded, she listened. Their conversation lasted for hours.
"I'm scared, Ross. If we can't get through something like this, how will we go on?" Ross quietly listened to her. "Everything's just different from before," she added.
"I know," Ross simply said. He knew her mind was already made up... but he tried his best to prove to her that he changed.
And the reason is You
"Do you love me?" he asked. "I do Ross." "Then we can work this out." "But love isn't everything..." she sadly replied.
And the reason is You
"Rach-" "Ross, it just seems unfair. You've done a lot just for 'us' to work out... and I don't think I have. Maybe it's just time that we move on..." she managed to say in between sobs. "It's not that easy Rach."
And the reason is You
"I don't want to lose you," Ross cried, holding on to what seems to be the last thread connecting them together. "I don't either... but we just have to."
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
She loved Ross so much, but it just couldn't be. "I love you too," she whispered before putting down the phone. Emotionally drained, she laid on her bed and closed her eyes, forcing herself to sleep.
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
At that point, Ross was willing to leave everything he had just to make their relationship work. Fame and fortune definitely did not compensate with what he used to have...
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
But Rachel was right, if they couldn't work past that… what assured him that leaving everything would? At least they tried.
One month, two months, three months... Ross didn't bother taking note of the days anymore. He saw Rachel about three times since they broke up; not that he wasn't interested in seeing her anymore... it was just too painful- for him and for Rachel.
Mattie's 9th birthday was coming up and he was going to have a party in their house. Ross didn't like the idea because he had to pretend to his kids and to other people that everything was alright... but of course, there was nothing he could do.
"Rachel, will you please come out now!" Monica said, shouting at her friend.
Rachel, who looked thinner than how she looked three months ago, emerged from the bathroom wearing a tan-colored sundress.
"Finally!" Monica sarcastically replied.
"I don't want to go down, Mon."
"Sweetie, Ross won't eat you alive okay."
"It's- it's not just that. The whole world doesn't know what happened between us... now we have to act as if everything is okay."
"Aren't things okay between you two?"
"We haven't really talked about it."
"Then now's the time," pulling Rachel, "let's go!"
Trying to remove her hand from Monica's strong grip, she screamed "MON!" although she failed, and was forced to go down.
As she descended from the stairs, she saw Ross with Joey and a few other friends. He saw her and politely waved and smiled. Rachel did the same and gripped Monica's hand tighter.
"What?" Monica finally let her go.
"Wow, Ross is actually early today," Rachel said.
"Yeah," Monica replied, "Though he's going out tonight. Apparently, Joey was able to convince him to go on a double date."
Stunned and surprised, Rachel shot Monica a look, "Ross is going out on a double date with Joey?"
Monica nodded.
"A date? But it's Mattie's birthday party!" Rachel repeated.
"Rach, I don't think Mattie's party will last for 24 hours." Noticing Rachel's unexpected reaction, Monica looked at her and asked, "Are you okay with this? You seem to be bothered."
Trying to find Ross in the crowd, Rachel pretended to smile, "Of course I'm okay with it."
Monica rolled her eyes and pulled Rachel to a corner, "No you're not."
Finally giving up, Rachel frowned, "He's going out on dates already?"
"A date! Rachel, it's been three months. And if I'm not mistaken, you did mention to him that he should move on right?" Rachel nodded. "Well, isn't this moving on?" Monica added.
Rachel looked down, and Monica felt sorry for her friend.
"Rach, Ross asked me if he SHOULD go with Joey's friend tonight, and I said yes because you told me you want him to move on and find someone else."
Rachel looked up at Monica and had tears forming at the corners of her eyes, "I know. I just- I just... Damn, this is hard." Monica hugged her friend and allowed her to cry on her shoulder.
Ross hardly saw Rachel that day, she was moving around the whole time. After several hours, he finally spotted her seated on the couch alone and he decided to approach her. 'A little hello won't hurt,' he said to himself. "Hey Rach!" he greeted, sitting down beside her.
Rachel smiled and faced him, "Hey you!"
"So how are you?" Ross awkwardly asked, sensing the great amount of tension between them.
"I'm- I'm fine! Busy I guess... Sweeps is coming up. And you? I heard you have a new movie coming up?"
"Uhuh," Ross replied, "It's set in Italy."
"Wow!" Rachel beamed. Ross adored Italy- that's where they went during their first honeymoon, and their third, and their eighth, and 'make believe honeymoon' visits. "Hey, maybe this time you can finally go to Rome!" she added.
"I'm hoping," he smiled.
That night, Rachel couldn't help but think of Ross and how his date went. She couldn't contain herself, she kept on changing positions on her bed. She finally sat up and decided to call Monica. "Mon?" she asked a few seconds after dialing. "It's not that late- it's only," checked her watch, "2am?" She leaned on the headboard and picked up a magazine. "Oh yeah, thanks!" she said, replying to Monica. "By the way, how did Ross' date go?" she asked, trying not to sound affected. "He liked her? Oh... Are they going out again? No Mon, I'm just asking... and the last time I checked, there was nothing wrong with asking. Okay fine, fine. I'm just interested. Monica, I am SO NOT jealous?" Rachel's defensive conversation was interrupted when Mattie knocked and entered the room. "Hold on Mon, I'll call you back."
Turning to Mattie, she patted a space beside her and asked, "Hey sweetie, what's wrong?"
Mattie yawned and crawled next to his mom, "Nothing. Can I sleep here?"
"Of course you can." Mattie went under the covers and cuddled next to Rachel. "Did you enjoy your party?"
"Yeah," he sleepily answered.
"Did you get a lot of toys?"
"Yeah... but my birthday wish wasn't granted."
"Oh," Rachel replied. She asked Justin earlier what his brother's birthday wish was, but Justin said Mattie never mentioned anything to him. Usually, Mattie would wish for a toy that was hard to find, and either Rachel or Ross will find a way to get it. "What was your birthday wish?" she asked, suddenly getting curious.
"It's... it's..." drifting to sleep.
Rachel smiled at her son and kissed his forehead, "goodnight."
'Rachel, something happened. Please go to Cedar-Sinai as soon as possible!' upon hearing her voicemail from Chandler, she immediately rushed to the parking lot and entered her car. She tried calling Monica, Chandler, Joey or Phoebe but none of them answered their mobile phones. She decided to call her house and check what the emergency was, "Hello? Anita, did Chandler or Monica call?" she worriedly asked. "WHEN? Where are the kids? Did Ross call? Okay, thanks," and she drove off.
Monica and Chandler were in the waiting room of the Emergency Room. Monica sobbed while Chandler hugged her.
Rachel nervously rushed in and approached both of them, "Mon-"
Monica looked at her and hugged her best friend, "Rachel..."
Chandler looked at them both, kissed Monica on the head and left the room.
"Does Ross know?" she slowly asked.
"He does, and he's on his way home from Italy."
"What happened?" Rachel asked queried.
"Mom said dad had this weird chest pain this morning and he didn't tell her about it. Then all off a sudden, he passed out. Mom rushed him here and found out he had a stroke."
"How is he?"
"I don't know. The doctor already advised us the last time that if dad gets another stroke, his situation would be critical... and- and there's a 70 chance he won't make it." Monica sobbed.
Rachel hugged her friend once more, this time much tighter. Rachel knew Jack wasn't just an ordinary father to Monica and Ross... he fulfilled a lot for his children, and this made him very close to them. Even to Rachel, Jack was like her real father. She adored him, simply because he was a model person to her. Rachel couldn't imagine how Ross would react; she remembered how devastated he felt the last time Jack had a stroke.
Ross impatiently fumbled with the pillow in the airplane. He couldn't calm down despite the medicines he took before take-off. He couldn't contain himself… thinking of his father nearly brought him to tears. For the past couple of days in Italy, all he could think about was Rachel. Every thought of her saddened him... places just brought back so many memories. He even remembered the many times when they attempted to go to Rome but failed to because of unexpected reasons. Instead, Rachel explained to him how Rome looked like... and he knew it was beautiful, because he saw it through the depths of her eyes. Never was there a day in Italy that Ross didn't think of her, especially when he visited Milan- Rachel's fashion capital. He remembered her weekly trips to Milan just to shop. And after sad thoughts of Rachel came the news of his father... Ross had to put the production of his upcoming movie on hold. He even told the director that if his father's case worsens, he might have to quit.
Monica, Chandler, Rachel, Joey and Phoebe anxiously waited outside the Emergency Room.
"It's been too long," Monica said, exhausted, physically and emotionally drained.
Judy was there as well, but she was put to sleep with medication.
Rachel and Phoebe hugged Monica, and hoped that everything would be alright.
"Mon?" a familiar voice was heard behind them. Rachel knew who it was... it was Ross.
Monica ran towards him and they tightly hugged. Ross started to cry, she did as well. "He can't- he can't go, not yet." Ross managed to say.
It was a heartbreaking sight. As much as Rachel wanted to comfort him, she couldn't.
After a few more hours, Rachel spotted Ross on the couch staring at the wall. "Ross?" she quietly asked, handing him a cup of coffee.
Snapping out form his daze, he sadly smiled at Rachel and accepted the coffee. "Thanks," he replied.
Rachel sat beside him and started rubbing his back, "He'll be okay."
"I hope," Ross said, quickly wiping his tears. "He was so strong in Mattie's party... he even carried Emma. God... and that was only last week." he whispered.
Rachel finally decided to hug him; like always, he felt the comfort and solace only she could give. He hugged her tight and cried, releasing the sadness he felt both for his father and for her.
It took a while for Judy to wake up and snap back to reality. Monica and Ross were with her the whole time as she cried. "Your father loved you both so much," she sobbed.
"We know, mom. But it isn't too late yet. Dad can get through this..." Monica said as she consoled her mother.
"It's just so hard seeing him so helpless, chained up with tubes and machines. If your father was conscious, I'm sure he wouldn't want to suffer that way."
"You gotta be strong mom. Do it for dad," Ross said.
Their talk was interrupted when a nurse approached them.
"Mrs. Geller?" Judy looked up at her, hopeful that she brought good news.
"Yes?" she nervously replied.
"Mr. Geller has been moved to the Intensive Care Unit. He's been responsive towards the operation, we'll just have him thoroughly observed for a few days, and then maybe he can be transferred to a private room."
A sigh of relief swept over the Geller family. Monica, Ross and Judy managed to smile.
Although hardly conscious, Jack was out of his critical stage for that moment. The bad part was that there was no assurance on his condition. Yet Monica and Ross never left his side; they made it a point to talk to him often and update him with current events even though they heard no reply.
"Hi Jack, "Rachel greeted as she entered the room with Jack on the hospital bed surrounded with machines and tubes. "You better wake up soon, your grandkids are waiting for you to come and visit," she added. Rachel sat next to him and looked at him intently, "You know what, you scared us out there. We thought we were gonna lose you! Thank God you responded pretty well..." Talking to an unconscious person made her feel strange.
Looking around the room, she spotted a few family pictures placed by Judy. The most recent one was taken during Christmas birthday- it had Ross, Monica, Chandler, Jack, Judy, Emma, Justin, Mattie, Erica and Jack Jr. Rachel picked it up and sadly smiled, she missed celebrating Christmas with them...
"You know, you could've been part of that picture," a soft voice whispered to Rachel.
Startled, she slowly returned the picture and looked around the room. There was no one except for Jack and herself. For a moment, she thought she was hearing voices in her head; she glanced at Jack and found him asleep still. "Okay?" she said to herself. Frightened with what just happened, she got her bag before kissing Jack on the forehead and walked towards the door.
"Rachel, don't leave!" the voice said again. Rachel stopped her tracks and looked at Jack- she was certain she wasn't hearing voices in her head. Surprisingly, his eyes were half- opened.
Jack grinned at her and added, "Yes, that was me. You know, it's much easier to seem unconscious.. cause people tell you all sorts of sweet stuff."
Rachel smiled at her former father-in-law and sat beside him, "Jack! You silly old man."
"Hey, I maybe a BIT old but you have no right not to call me 'dad' like before!"
Rachel smirked at him; he could always make her feel better. "Alright. How are you feeling, DAD?"
"I feel great! If I had my wallet now, I'd gamble in Vegas all night long!" he jokingly replied. After hearing Rachel laugh, he suddenly turned serious and asked, "How are you and Ross?"
"Ross and I?"
"Yeah. My boy told me about what happened to the two of you recently." Seeing Rachel's worried reaction, he added, "Don't fret... he just told me and not Judy, so your secret's still safe!"
Relieved yet concerned of what Ross told his father, Rachel began, "What did he say?"
"Well, he told me how things ended."
"I'm sorry-"
"Hey, don't get me wrong, I don't blame for feeling that way." Jack attempted to sit up but failed due to all the tubes and machines connected to his body. "Let me tell you something you and my children don't know... but first, did Ross ever tell you the reason why I quit show business?"
"He just told me you wanted to rest and spend time with your family," Rachel politely replied.
"The truth is I quit because of Judy. I had an affair, Rachel. It lasted for almost two years... Ross and Monica don't know this, but when Judy found out about it, she kicked me out of the house. During that time, I told my kids I had a shooting in a remote country just to protect them from the pains and suffering I foresaw. Anyway, I tried everything but Judy didn't want to take me back. I loved her, and I obviously still do... and I wanted things to work out between us. After the longest time, I told her that I was going to quit show business just so I could show her how much she meant to me. Since the beginning, it was hard for her to accept that I was an actor because she didn't really understand the demand for time and effort... and upon realizing that, I decided to forego everything. Since then, I never laid eyes on any other women except her... believe me! And I have no regrets, because I'd rather have her and my kids than any other award I've received."
Stunned with Jack's story, Rachel remained speechless.
"Now, it's not that I'm telling you to pattern both your lives with us... I just want you to think about your situation, because I know Ross loves you so much... and I know you do too. Don't waste something too special, I don't want you or Ross to regret it. It's not that easy to make a family, you know."
"It's just hard to trust him again," she quietly replied.
"I suppose... I don't think Judy fully trusts me yet!" he said, lightening up the conversation.
Rachel let out a chuckle. Glancing at her watch, she realized she's been in there for long. "I better go, they might be wondering what I've been saying to an unconscious man."
Jack grinned, "Please don't tell them that I've woken up already. It's nice to hear things they don't usually tell you when you're alive and kicking!"
Rachel smiled at him, "Okay!" She approached him and gave him a kiss on the cheek, "Thanks dad!"
Jack watched her leave, still hoping that things would work out between them... he knew for a fact that she would consider what he just told her.