90 MINUTES AGO
"It's your fifteen minute break, guys. Get outta here before I make you work through it."
The two guards shot out of their seats and made their way out of the control room, half-glad they escaped a fifteen-minute verbal barrage.
As the two guards closed the door behind them, the heavy-set security chief took a seat on the main control console. Pressing several command buttons on the panel, it didn't take long before lights that weren't supposed to go off went off, camera monitors that were supposed to be on went off, and re- router panels that weren't supposed to be opened . . . well, were opened. The heavy-set security chief tinkered on the open re-router panel next to the command console before snugly shutting it close.
"Hey, all cam loops active. Security Grid open. You're good to go," whispered the heavy-set security guard in an oddly more deep and masculine voice.
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"Man, is it lunch break yet?"
"It's two in the afternoon."
"Yeah?"
"Lunch ended two hours ago."
"Oh. Oh yeah. Crap"
Two safety suits made their way down the narrow exit corridor from the crystal integrity chamber. For some odd reason, the designers of the chamber had to build a fairly long corridor between decontamination and the actual test chamber itself. Not that it was really necessary – some of the technicians who worked there came to the conclusion that it was more some sort of "subconscious, compensating for something" thing more than anything else. Not like they cared anyway.
"Structural integrity at levels of safety. Diffraction array is well within acceptable bounds."
"Still a bit concerned about the convective transfer rate. Seems safe, but it just bugged me how it fluctuates close to the safety envelope today."
"Probably instrument error. We did receive a memo today about someone recalibrating the equipment – oh, hey, what are you doing here?"
The two safety suits encountered another suit going the opposite direction, just stepping out of the de-static room.
"Equipment calibration," said the lone suit. "Shouldn't take long. Be in and out in no time."
"Got it," nodded one of the exiting suits.
The two entered the airlock chamber as the lone suit made his way towards the gem chamber.
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"Looks like one of our lab technicians is checking on the gem right now. Let's see how he's doing."
Approaching a microphone resting a control panel nearby, Sergill spoke, "So, how's the gem looking so far?"
The man in the suit whipped a thumbs up at the Doctor – and the tour group. "Shit," muttered the man in the suit before he caught himself. ". . . um, looking good so far, boss. Seems that everything is in order so far. I . . . wait, wait a minute . . . "
Hey, heads up, Doctor's in town, but he's got company with him. Kiddies and tourists.
Thanks for the heads up, thought the man in the suit, as he hunched over the gem stand and opened his hands, revealing two small, gray capsules.
"What's up?" Sergill said.
"Er, um, I think –"
The man in the suit squeezed the gray capsules tightly until it snapped open. Gray smoke suddenly flooded the small test chamber.
"Wh-what the –"Sergill uttered. "Hey, hey! You all right?" he screamed, white-knuckle gripping the microphone. "Oh god, oh god, I'll get someone over as soon as-"
You're up, big momma.
"DOCTOR SERGILL!"
A heavy-set woman in security garb burst into the chamber. "We have to get these people out of here, sir!" The woman pointed at the tour guide. "You, get this group out of here, right away!"
"Uh uh, okay!" replied the tour guide, obviously rattled by the situation. "Um, um, if you all could please follow me in a quick but – er, orderly fashion, I'll take you back to the entrance lobby. So, um, er, if you could, uh please follow me . . ."
"You should go along with them too, Doctor," said the security guard.
"Nonsense. I will stay here and help resolve the situation."
"But sir –"
"I WILL NOT LET THIS PROJECT OR ANYONE WORKING ON IT FALL WHILE I'M AROUND!!!" barked Doctor Sergill.
Perfect.
"Okay, okay, yes sir," said the security guard. She pointed at the rapidly escaping tour group. "But we must first get these people out of here!"
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Spish. Spish. SPASH.
The clear chamber wall shattered open moments after the tour group left as the man in the safety suit emerged from the smoke and cloud, a black box on the palm of his awkwardly large gloves.
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING –"began a panicky-enraged Dr. Sergill, until the butt of a particularly long brown bamboo-like stick struck him on the back of the head, rendering him unconscious.
"Sorry, doc, 'dems the breaks," said the man in the suit, who lifted off his helmet to reveal –
- another Doctor Sergill?
"Yo, hurry up, man," said the heavy-set security guard in a completely masculine voice.
"You got our stretcher?"
"Right inside that mechanical closet," the security guard pointed at one of the rooms on the wall.
"We got our 911?"
"On their way as we speak."
"Good," said the non-knocked out Sergill, "time to fake a lab accident."
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NOW
It took several moments for the garage door to close as an ambulance casually rolled into the dockside warehouse. The bright afternoon sun overpowering the white fluorescent lights strewn across the ceiling, the ambulance parked in shadow just between two stacks of storage crates. The hum of the motor sighed off, the smoke from the exhaust dissipated into the air, and silence echoed across the large warehouse until it was rudely interrupted with –
"That's it, this is the last time I'm playing a fat chick."
The back doors of the ambulance hinged open, and the heavy-set security guard stepped out while a brunette EMS nurse exited the driver's seat.
"Aw, come on, Goemon, you were perfect. Like an Eddie Murphy rolled with a pre-slim fast Missy Elliot."
"And you were so adorable, too," added the nurse, "er, in an angry, big momma sort of way."
The heavy-set security guard grabbed the base of her neck and pulled up, peeling off a woman's large face to reveal the face of a slimmer Japanese male, long hair tied up to fit into the disguise he wore.
"Yeah, great, thanks Fujiko," Goemon muttered as he began to peel the synthetic fat suit off. "Er, Doctor Sergill, do you mind getting back up now?"
Inside the ambulance, the body on the stretcher rose off the bed and stepped into the open. However, instead of a graying, middle-aged engineer, a younger, brown-haired man stepped into the light, rubbing his sideburns as he revealed himself to be –
"Lupin, let's see it! Let's see it!" the brunette Fujiko yipped, clawing at a small black metal box Lupin grasped on his outstretched right hand.
"Hey hey! Hold on a second, Fuji-cakes, we can all bask in the glorious brightness that is our success – and the small thermo-nuclear reaction in our hands, of course."
Lowering the small black box closer to his chest, Lupin slowly pried it open with his thumbs, bright white light pouring out of the opening cracks of the box. As the lid gave way, a flood of orange and red streaks of color shined outward, softly glistening all three sets of its captors' eyes.
Goemon's eyes widened.
Lupin's eyes glowed.
Fujiko's eyes glistened.
"Amazing," Goemon whispered.
"Wow," Fujiko sighed.
"The perfect play for the perfect prize," Lupin said confidently.
"I'll say," whispered the fourth guy.
Maybe it was the awe of the moment. Maybe it was the sound of the ocean running up against the docks. Maybe it was the sound of the cranes outside. Either way, it took a few more moments longer than usual before anyone noticed the fourth guy. Hanging upside down.
"Huh – WHA?" Lupin gasped as he almost literally leapt a bound backwards in shock of his fourth guest lucidly dandling upside down beside him.
"What, what?" said the owner of the white eyes," I was just saying, you know." The red, webbed headed character decidedly scratched the back of his head. "Uh, sorry. I'm outta quips at the moment.
"Hey, it's-"Goemon blurted, reading his sword.
"No way!" Fujiko gasped.
"Huh . . . whuh –
"SPIDER-MAN????!!!!!!!!!!!!!"