Different Sides
A/N: This one shot is based on the Live Action Series Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon and takes place during Act 35. It's my take on what could have happened – from Minako's POV. R and R!
I watched my Venus Love Me Chain whip towards my foe. Only as Sailor Venus did I ever feel truly free from this shadow that has hung over me for so long now. Some days are better than others. Some days I want to scream until my voice is hoarse, I am trapped in a darkened room and no matter how sunny it is outside; to me it is always dark. I want to join them so much that it hurts, on those days. I want to be like Usagi-chan. I want to be free of this responsibility, of this illness… I cannot and I feel as though a bottomless pit is opening up before me. I am only teetering on the edge, but one day, I know, I will fall. It is on those days that I wake up at night in a cold sweat. I can't breath. It is though someone is sitting on my chest. An icy panic grips at my heart. The only thing I truly fear is dying. That is why I have kept it to myself, my illness. If I voice it to others then it will become reality. I cling to a faint hope that I will be all right. But I am only lying to myself. I suppose that is why I do not fight it as much as I should. I allow myself only the minimum treatments and throw myself into my Senshi duties. I was reborn once and hope to be again… next time in a healthy body. Usagi-chan is what matters. I cannot endanger my true purpose on this Earth by putting myself first. Usagi is my Princess and as leader of the Senshi I will do what I can to protect her… but I am running out of time.
I started in confusion when he simply dissolved before my eyes, my love me chain hitting nothing but empty air. I glance around, my heart thumping loudly in my chest. Where did he go? I caught a movement in the corner of my eye, even as Artemis shouted a warning, and whirled around, but he was faster. He grabbed me, and propelled me backwards against his body whilst his free hand pressed a sword to my throat.
"Venus!" I heard Artemis shouting, but strangely enough I was not afraid. My heart was pounding, but I did not care for the sword at my throat. He could kill me… indeed I wanted him too. I would die, yes, yet I would be spared the agony of fading away slowly. Usagi-chan and the others would find my body here. I would die a honourable battle death. Artemis would never reveal my secret. It would die with me.
"It will not be as it was last time"
I recalled our last meeting. I had struck him down whilst he was helpless, but I had been afraid. Not of the fact that he had wanted me dead, but of something else. Indeed it was happening again. I was pressed against him; a sword cutting into my throat, and all I could think of was his warm arms around me. I could feel his breath on my neck as he spoke, whispering threats concerning Endymion and the past life. He remembered, too?
"You know, too, that this planet will be destroyed?"
He pushed me away from him and I forced my face from an expression of disappointment to hatred. He was my enemy, no matter what my heart was telling me.
"Then, as a fellow guardian, hear me out" he offered, lowering his weapon as I did mine. He meant me no harm that I knew.
The music box weighed heavily in my palm. My heart was beating faster, and faster still when he had placed it there. For a second our hands had touched. I know I must have flinched slightly and he must have assumed that I was afraid. Afraid of him? Yes, I was, but not in the way he thought. Despite what Mars Reiko thought, I didn't recall all of my past life. I remembered fragments, the destruction of the Earth and the Moon, but not a great deal more than Usagi-chan, really. I did not know if these feelings were a part of my past life, or something new. I dared to raise my eyes to look at him again. He met my gaze and held it for several seconds before I was forced to look away. My tongue felt thick and heavy as I asked:
"Do you remember me?" it was a stupid thing to say and I cursed myself as soon as the words left my mouth. Zoisite made a small noise in the back of his throat, to my ears it sounded like a suppressed laugh and a blush spread across my cheeks. I took a step back, almost dropping the music box in my hand.
"Should I do?" was his reply. His voice was smooth, it was not as commanding as Mamoru-san's, but mixed into the gentle overtone was the same echo of the guardian he had once been, before Beryl got to him.
I shuddered and suddenly a wave of nausea took me. I stumbled backwards, reaching out for something to steady myself on as the world spun before my eyes.
"Minako-chan!" I heard Artemis cry out again and I slumped down to my knees, the box falling from my hand. Why now? Why did it have to be now? I moaned slightly as with the dizziness came pain. I thought I could live with it… I can't, I don't want to die…
Then I felt it, a solid warmth pressed against me, holding me. I inhaled deeply and leaned into this contact, keeping my eyes closed until the vertigo subsided. It was a warning… I needed to rest. I had been over doing it as of late.
I looked up and my heart started pounding even faster than before as my gaze met a pair of pale blue eyes. I slowly became aware of my senses again and found that he had one arm wrapped around my shoulders to steady me whilst the other hand clutched on to the music box. The mission… Then I became aware of my own traitorous actions. My arms were wrapped tightly around his waist; the side of my face was pressed into the folds of his uniform. I inhaled, breathing in his scent and gasped in dismay at how comfortable I felt in his arms. I felt as though I had come home… that this was where I was meant to be.
"You are dying" he stated this as coolly as though he was telling me the time of day. "Your energy is low. If you do not rest, your life will become even shorter."
I nodded and then something took hold of me. I don't know whether it was hearing what all the doctors in the country had told me a thousand times from a man who was supposed to be my enemy or that the terror of my predicament suddenly set it. Whatever it was, it seized a hold of me and I could not stop myself from struggling free from his embrace and leaning forward to press an almost desperate kiss to his lips.
"Venus? What are you doing?" Artemis shouted, but I did not care, especially when I found his arms slipping round my waist and his mouth returning my kiss with equal passion.
We finally pulled apart to draw breath. I stood, shakily, and this was no effect of my illness and took a step back. Zoisite stared at me for a moment before also standing and then moving back a few paces. I saw confusion and some fear in his eyes. What had been so wrong? Why did this horrify him so much? Was I that bad? No, I knew this was not it. If we… it was almost as terrible as what Endymion had with the Princess. Any such union between the Senshi and the Shitennou was almost certainly spell doom for this world.
"That was stupid" I spoke, trying to force some laughter into my voice, though there was a lump in my throat and tears were forming in my eyes, "I don't know what came over me…"
"As long as the past exists" Zoisite murmured, "The past is what makes us who we are."
"Then what was that? Why am I dying? Why do I have to die? Why?"
"You have a death wish, Venus, it has always been there, even before you became sick."
"I don't want to die! All my life I have had everything, but it was not enough! Yes, a part of me was glad when I learned I was ill. Being Sailor V was never enough and nor was being an idol. My mission is to protect the Princess, that is true, but I don't want to die, not now" my voice softened as I reached out and placed a hand on his arm, "Not now I have finally found something to live for."
We embraced again; he drew me against him and pressed a kiss to my forehead. My arms curved around his waist and I leaned my head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.
"We can never have anything more than what we shared tonight" he said, I could feel the sounds of his voice vibrating as he held me and I shuddered, knowing his words to be true.
"That is enough," I said, finally having the strength and courage to push away from him again, "It will have to be enough." It was not, it would never be enough, but my life was short and his was growing shorter and had been since the moment he had uttered Endymion's name. It would never work. I would die of sickness or his Queen would kill him. One of us would die and the other would mourn. It was better that we treasured this night rather than live with that.
"Take the music box" Zoisite urged, opening my clenched palm and pressing the gift into it, "Take it and save our world."
"Our world" I echoed.
Zoisite turned with a flip of his cape, preparing for the teleport that would take him back to the Dark Kingdom and then this night would end. The next time we would meet, we would be enemies.
"Wait" I reached out with my free hand, my fingers not quite brushing his cape, "Can you heal me?" a stupid question, one that pained us both.
"No" Zoisite replied, his voice full of sorrow, "I do not have that power."
"Then there is no hope?"
"There is always hope. The Princess is strong."
Usagi-chan…"Will you come to my concert?" I asked next, hating the despair in my voice.
He laughed softly, a genuine laugh, "I thought the tickets were sold out?"
I smiled slightly, "We both know you do not need a ticket to get in. Will you come?"
He considered this, "Perhaps" he allowed at last.
Zoisite left and I let him. The night had suddenly turned cold. I shivered and wrapped my arms around myself as I started the slow walk back to the hospital, ignoring Artemis's demands for an explanation.
Can you heal me?No, I do not have that power
He may not have healed my ailing body, but now my spirit was finally coming to terms with my impending death. I would always remember this night, I would treasure the memory, for the next time I saw Zoisite, he had a sword to his throat.
The end.