Chapter 7
Love...will prevail
"Ain't gonna show no weakness
I'm gonna smile and tell the whole world I'm fine
I'm gonna keep my senses"
Hermione sat by the lake tears running down her face, waiting for the explosion, it didn't come. Justin just sat staring blankly back at her. She ran the words back through her mind, 'I'm sorry it just isn't working, my hearts not in it, I just can't make a long term commitment and I don't want anyone to get hurt'... He looked up at her and took a deep breath.
"Why Hermione? why can't you make a commitment, I thought things were just great between us I've had a wonderful time..."
Hermione scrunched up her face, "No don't get me wrong, its just that..." she took another deep breath, "I'm pregnant." He looked taken aback, slightly shocked, scared, angry... oh forget it she had no idea how he was feeling.
When he spoke his voice was flat and monotonous, "Well if this is how it has to be, then its fine by me." He gave Hermione a kiss on the cheek, "never stop loving him herm, never stop..." Hermione blinked, unsure of what he meant, but before she could ask he was already skulking back up to the castle.
#####
Back in Gryffindor tower, Ron and Harry were sat at a table discussing something avidly.
"I'm really gonna make it Harry, Racing brooms, I'll make my millions."
Harry smiled at him, "You know Ron, if you want something hard enough to believe in it. Then you CAN make it happen." They spent the next few minutes going over the draft for Ron's design the skyduster.
Hermione entered the Common Room, teary eyed and blotchy cheeked, what was she doing, she'd known it was a bad idea, she crossed the room in silence, but before she made it to the girls staircase, Colin Creevy intercepted her. "Here Hermione, it's the photo from the start of the year..." He handed her a photograph, and as she looked at the smiling waving faces of herself, Harry and Ron she couldn't hold back the tears.
"Thanks Colin" she managed before he bustled off to Ron and Harry's table. She then continued up the stairs in silence. Her thoughts soon travelled back to the photo, she'd been so happy that day, her and Remus had been such a dead cert, Ron was talking to her, and life couldn't have been better... what went wrong...
#####
Hermione was once again sat on the bed in the hospital wing while madam Pomfry listen to her stomach. "Now dear" she said straightening up, "Have you thought any more about the destruction,"
Hermione went numb, she'd completely forgotten about it, "I... I don't know," she sobbed into her hands, she could save his job, by simply filling the form out, but then she'd have to tell him, she couldn't face that. It was bad enough just trying to keep a low profile in his classes, he seemed to respect that.
"Hermione love, you do know, you just haven't found out yet, trust me on this one. Fill out the form, and by the time you get to the end, you will know inside whether you want it or not." Hermione nodded at her and left the room.
The following morning she did as madam Pomfry suggested and sat filling out the form, when she got to the end, she felt thoroughly disgusted with herself at the mere thought of destroying the life of her own child, she snorted at her self, through it into her bag, along with all her books and homework and dashed out to her first lesson, completely missing breakfast.
######
Later that day, after lunch, she held back at the end of DADA to hand in her 'extra work' essay on dark regimes. Lupin smiled at her a little unsure of himself, "Long time no see, Hermione." she smiled nervously back at him.
"I just wanted to hand my essay in," She rifled through her bag on the floor and pulled out a selection of scrolls, flicking through her eyes bulged as she saw the destruction form and quickly dropped it back into her bag, stuffing in the work that she didn't need. "Here you go professor" she smiled handing him the essay." Her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes tired due to the work.
"Hermione, are you ok, I mean isn't all this extra work getting to you, you look so tired and, I don't mean to critise or anything, but you didn't send the wolfsbane this month, I mean its perfectly ok if you don't want to brew it anymore, I'll completely understand..." He trailed off looking sheepish,
Oh how could she forget, the full moon was tomorrow tonight, "I'm so sorry, I... I forgot, "There was little else she could say, "I'll remember next month I promise." With that she left the room to head off and do some work before dinner. She mentally slapped herself all the way back to the common room, that was the perfect opportunity to tell him about the baby, why didn't she, she couldn't be scared of him could she, or more likely just scared he'd push her away.
As she exited the classroom, Harry who had been waiting for her came up, "Herm I'm serious, your gonna give yourself she really bad mental damage," She just looked at him confused, "Look rules are made for breaking, you need to stop listening to your head and start listening to your heart."
######
Another couple of days passed with little event, she was sat at the breakfast table, with Harry, (Ron was on his other side and still refusing to talk to her.) when an owl landed in front of Hermione. It was a large screech owl with a very official looking letter trapped in its beak, she took the letter with trembling hands and took note of the ministry seal, before opening it. The owl took flight at this and quickly left. She stared at the open letter.
Dear Miss Granger,
We are pleased to inform you that your destruction application has been successful, please see your medical supervisor immediately, and the process will be undertaken,
yours sincerely Janena Farrow Department of Families Ministry of Magic
She froze, she never sent the form off, it was still under her bed... pausing she thought, no it was in my bag, grabbing it from the floor she quickly riffled through it, of course she didn't expect to find it. Tears running down her face she quickly stood up and fled the great hall for the hospital wing, letter in hand.
######
"Calm down dear" madam Pomfry voiced as she drew the curtains around Hermione's bed, "are you sure you didn't send the form off," Hermione nodded furiously, "Well the father must have signed it, they wouldn't grant a destruction without his signature even in a case like this..." Hermione palled.
"I haven't even told him," she squeaked,
"Hermione, this is a binding contract, if you both signed for a destruction, both parties wish this as the best cause of action, if can only be voided if both parties change their mind on the outcome,"
Hermione was in tears now, "this is my baby, I don't want to kill it."
There was a small cough from behind the curtain and a quavering voice said, "can I come in?" before slowly pushing the curtain aside. Hermione blanched.
"Remus Lupin! Get back in your bed, you are not strong enough yet, now." Madam Pomfry almost shouted.
"I'm sorry" he said quietly moving over to Hermione, "I thought it was what you wanted, No poppy, this is more important." He snapped as the medic tried to usher him into bed. Sighing she simply conjured him a chair, "Thank-you" he said before turning his attention back to Hermione and taking her hand, "I found the form on the floor of my room, after you gave me that essay," she cringed how could she have been so careless, "It was all filled in, I read the reasons and just understood that you didn't want it, I thought that's why you left it, because you were too scared to ask me."
Poppy put a gentle hand on his shoulder before asking, "Remus do you want a destruction?" he shook his head and tear began to glisten on his cheeks, "Well then I'll get the cancellation form and everything will be ok, don't worry." She scurried out of the room and to her office.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
"No" Hermione replied, "I'm sorry, I should have told you"
"I'll be there for you I promise," he gripped Hermione's hand tighter, "I promise."
######
A few weeks had passed, and nothing had happened between them, they both kept their promises to Dumbledore, and dutifully kept there distance, he had asked on a couple of occasions how she felt, and one day, when she had turned very pale and run out of his DADA lesson, had followed, he even held her hair back while she threw up and gave her a comforting hug, but they soon pulled away releasing what they were doing. These minimal exchanges of sensitivity were all it took for each of them to know, they were on a one way street, they were in love, and there was no going back.
The Christmas dance arrived, 6th and 7th years only, the hall was beautiful as paper snowflakes drifted merrily from the ceiling and the room was filled with laughter. Hermione sat in a corner keeping herself to herself, not really wanting to join in so much as to watch. She smiled and run her hand over her stomach, her baby, nearly 4 months now, there was no going back, not the wizard way at least. Harry strolled over to her and took her hand; "Would milady care to dance?" she chuckled to herself and couldn't really refuse.
She wasn't even aware of the song as he whirled her around on the dance floor, "Come on Hermione, something's wrong, you were just sat there all sombre and stuff,"
She smiled up at him, "Harry, I'm having a baby." Harry just grinned from ear to ear, but didn't get a chance to reply as just at that moment there was a tap on his shoulder.
"Mind if I cut in young man?" It was Remus and he looked dashing in robes of deep blue, "That is, if the lady doesn't mind sharing a dance or two with an old stodgy man such as my self."
Hermione just grinned, "I love to," but looked at Harry with questioning eyes.
"Don't let me stand in your way..." and ambled off in search of Ron
Remus took her hands, but they hand barely begun when the song ended, Hermione looked downhearted, but this soon changed to a minor relative of fear, when the band struck up the next song, a slow one. Remus pulled her in close her heart was beating faster than she could ever remember as she gentle laid an arm on his shoulder. They graced the dance floor for the reminder of the song, each lost in the others eyes. As the song slowly faded to nothing, he bent and gently caught her mouth with his, Hermione was sure her heart stopped beating, but as he pulled away with a grin on his face she couldn't help but return the smile, "see" she whispered, "the world didn't end, did it?" he just grinned down at her and pulled her close.
"And I wonder
I wonder why you look at me like that
What you're thinking, what's behind?
Don't tell me, but it feels like love"
A/N. hmmm, that was a loooooooooong chap for me, and quick to, I think I must be ill. Nope I know what it is I've got an exam tomorrow and its amazing all the things you can find to do that aren't revision. Well it didn't quiet go the way I planned, I wasn't thinking of getting them back together, well not just yet anyway, but hey, let the fic go its own way, I couldn't resist that little kiss at the end, I mean it was just screeming kiss her, kiss her, or maybe that was just me, oh well. Thanks to all you reviews, I'm eternally greatful, you sparked the love of writing back into my mind, and for that I thank you.
Love...will prevail
"Ain't gonna show no weakness
I'm gonna smile and tell the whole world I'm fine
I'm gonna keep my senses"
Hermione sat by the lake tears running down her face, waiting for the explosion, it didn't come. Justin just sat staring blankly back at her. She ran the words back through her mind, 'I'm sorry it just isn't working, my hearts not in it, I just can't make a long term commitment and I don't want anyone to get hurt'... He looked up at her and took a deep breath.
"Why Hermione? why can't you make a commitment, I thought things were just great between us I've had a wonderful time..."
Hermione scrunched up her face, "No don't get me wrong, its just that..." she took another deep breath, "I'm pregnant." He looked taken aback, slightly shocked, scared, angry... oh forget it she had no idea how he was feeling.
When he spoke his voice was flat and monotonous, "Well if this is how it has to be, then its fine by me." He gave Hermione a kiss on the cheek, "never stop loving him herm, never stop..." Hermione blinked, unsure of what he meant, but before she could ask he was already skulking back up to the castle.
#####
Back in Gryffindor tower, Ron and Harry were sat at a table discussing something avidly.
"I'm really gonna make it Harry, Racing brooms, I'll make my millions."
Harry smiled at him, "You know Ron, if you want something hard enough to believe in it. Then you CAN make it happen." They spent the next few minutes going over the draft for Ron's design the skyduster.
Hermione entered the Common Room, teary eyed and blotchy cheeked, what was she doing, she'd known it was a bad idea, she crossed the room in silence, but before she made it to the girls staircase, Colin Creevy intercepted her. "Here Hermione, it's the photo from the start of the year..." He handed her a photograph, and as she looked at the smiling waving faces of herself, Harry and Ron she couldn't hold back the tears.
"Thanks Colin" she managed before he bustled off to Ron and Harry's table. She then continued up the stairs in silence. Her thoughts soon travelled back to the photo, she'd been so happy that day, her and Remus had been such a dead cert, Ron was talking to her, and life couldn't have been better... what went wrong...
#####
Hermione was once again sat on the bed in the hospital wing while madam Pomfry listen to her stomach. "Now dear" she said straightening up, "Have you thought any more about the destruction,"
Hermione went numb, she'd completely forgotten about it, "I... I don't know," she sobbed into her hands, she could save his job, by simply filling the form out, but then she'd have to tell him, she couldn't face that. It was bad enough just trying to keep a low profile in his classes, he seemed to respect that.
"Hermione love, you do know, you just haven't found out yet, trust me on this one. Fill out the form, and by the time you get to the end, you will know inside whether you want it or not." Hermione nodded at her and left the room.
The following morning she did as madam Pomfry suggested and sat filling out the form, when she got to the end, she felt thoroughly disgusted with herself at the mere thought of destroying the life of her own child, she snorted at her self, through it into her bag, along with all her books and homework and dashed out to her first lesson, completely missing breakfast.
######
Later that day, after lunch, she held back at the end of DADA to hand in her 'extra work' essay on dark regimes. Lupin smiled at her a little unsure of himself, "Long time no see, Hermione." she smiled nervously back at him.
"I just wanted to hand my essay in," She rifled through her bag on the floor and pulled out a selection of scrolls, flicking through her eyes bulged as she saw the destruction form and quickly dropped it back into her bag, stuffing in the work that she didn't need. "Here you go professor" she smiled handing him the essay." Her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes tired due to the work.
"Hermione, are you ok, I mean isn't all this extra work getting to you, you look so tired and, I don't mean to critise or anything, but you didn't send the wolfsbane this month, I mean its perfectly ok if you don't want to brew it anymore, I'll completely understand..." He trailed off looking sheepish,
Oh how could she forget, the full moon was tomorrow tonight, "I'm so sorry, I... I forgot, "There was little else she could say, "I'll remember next month I promise." With that she left the room to head off and do some work before dinner. She mentally slapped herself all the way back to the common room, that was the perfect opportunity to tell him about the baby, why didn't she, she couldn't be scared of him could she, or more likely just scared he'd push her away.
As she exited the classroom, Harry who had been waiting for her came up, "Herm I'm serious, your gonna give yourself she really bad mental damage," She just looked at him confused, "Look rules are made for breaking, you need to stop listening to your head and start listening to your heart."
######
Another couple of days passed with little event, she was sat at the breakfast table, with Harry, (Ron was on his other side and still refusing to talk to her.) when an owl landed in front of Hermione. It was a large screech owl with a very official looking letter trapped in its beak, she took the letter with trembling hands and took note of the ministry seal, before opening it. The owl took flight at this and quickly left. She stared at the open letter.
Dear Miss Granger,
We are pleased to inform you that your destruction application has been successful, please see your medical supervisor immediately, and the process will be undertaken,
yours sincerely Janena Farrow Department of Families Ministry of Magic
She froze, she never sent the form off, it was still under her bed... pausing she thought, no it was in my bag, grabbing it from the floor she quickly riffled through it, of course she didn't expect to find it. Tears running down her face she quickly stood up and fled the great hall for the hospital wing, letter in hand.
######
"Calm down dear" madam Pomfry voiced as she drew the curtains around Hermione's bed, "are you sure you didn't send the form off," Hermione nodded furiously, "Well the father must have signed it, they wouldn't grant a destruction without his signature even in a case like this..." Hermione palled.
"I haven't even told him," she squeaked,
"Hermione, this is a binding contract, if you both signed for a destruction, both parties wish this as the best cause of action, if can only be voided if both parties change their mind on the outcome,"
Hermione was in tears now, "this is my baby, I don't want to kill it."
There was a small cough from behind the curtain and a quavering voice said, "can I come in?" before slowly pushing the curtain aside. Hermione blanched.
"Remus Lupin! Get back in your bed, you are not strong enough yet, now." Madam Pomfry almost shouted.
"I'm sorry" he said quietly moving over to Hermione, "I thought it was what you wanted, No poppy, this is more important." He snapped as the medic tried to usher him into bed. Sighing she simply conjured him a chair, "Thank-you" he said before turning his attention back to Hermione and taking her hand, "I found the form on the floor of my room, after you gave me that essay," she cringed how could she have been so careless, "It was all filled in, I read the reasons and just understood that you didn't want it, I thought that's why you left it, because you were too scared to ask me."
Poppy put a gentle hand on his shoulder before asking, "Remus do you want a destruction?" he shook his head and tear began to glisten on his cheeks, "Well then I'll get the cancellation form and everything will be ok, don't worry." She scurried out of the room and to her office.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
"No" Hermione replied, "I'm sorry, I should have told you"
"I'll be there for you I promise," he gripped Hermione's hand tighter, "I promise."
######
A few weeks had passed, and nothing had happened between them, they both kept their promises to Dumbledore, and dutifully kept there distance, he had asked on a couple of occasions how she felt, and one day, when she had turned very pale and run out of his DADA lesson, had followed, he even held her hair back while she threw up and gave her a comforting hug, but they soon pulled away releasing what they were doing. These minimal exchanges of sensitivity were all it took for each of them to know, they were on a one way street, they were in love, and there was no going back.
The Christmas dance arrived, 6th and 7th years only, the hall was beautiful as paper snowflakes drifted merrily from the ceiling and the room was filled with laughter. Hermione sat in a corner keeping herself to herself, not really wanting to join in so much as to watch. She smiled and run her hand over her stomach, her baby, nearly 4 months now, there was no going back, not the wizard way at least. Harry strolled over to her and took her hand; "Would milady care to dance?" she chuckled to herself and couldn't really refuse.
She wasn't even aware of the song as he whirled her around on the dance floor, "Come on Hermione, something's wrong, you were just sat there all sombre and stuff,"
She smiled up at him, "Harry, I'm having a baby." Harry just grinned from ear to ear, but didn't get a chance to reply as just at that moment there was a tap on his shoulder.
"Mind if I cut in young man?" It was Remus and he looked dashing in robes of deep blue, "That is, if the lady doesn't mind sharing a dance or two with an old stodgy man such as my self."
Hermione just grinned, "I love to," but looked at Harry with questioning eyes.
"Don't let me stand in your way..." and ambled off in search of Ron
Remus took her hands, but they hand barely begun when the song ended, Hermione looked downhearted, but this soon changed to a minor relative of fear, when the band struck up the next song, a slow one. Remus pulled her in close her heart was beating faster than she could ever remember as she gentle laid an arm on his shoulder. They graced the dance floor for the reminder of the song, each lost in the others eyes. As the song slowly faded to nothing, he bent and gently caught her mouth with his, Hermione was sure her heart stopped beating, but as he pulled away with a grin on his face she couldn't help but return the smile, "see" she whispered, "the world didn't end, did it?" he just grinned down at her and pulled her close.
"And I wonder
I wonder why you look at me like that
What you're thinking, what's behind?
Don't tell me, but it feels like love"
A/N. hmmm, that was a loooooooooong chap for me, and quick to, I think I must be ill. Nope I know what it is I've got an exam tomorrow and its amazing all the things you can find to do that aren't revision. Well it didn't quiet go the way I planned, I wasn't thinking of getting them back together, well not just yet anyway, but hey, let the fic go its own way, I couldn't resist that little kiss at the end, I mean it was just screeming kiss her, kiss her, or maybe that was just me, oh well. Thanks to all you reviews, I'm eternally greatful, you sparked the love of writing back into my mind, and for that I thank you.