Update: 5 July 2004 Hi, made some slight changes, so slight that you'll have difficulty detecting them if you've read the original version. Oh, and I changed the title. This sounds way more poetic, ne? I also took the opportunity to reply a few of my first reviews at the end of the story. Please scroll down, minna-san for your reply if you've reviewed earlier. Um, I won't ramble on much longer; ON WITH THE FIC!
---Special Moment, Secret Place---
I'm such a loser.
I'm not as pretty as Ino-san, as smart as Sakura-san or as strong as Hanabi- chan. Even Father doesn't care about me anymore. I'm not entirely sure he would grieve for me if I died on a mission to save the world or in some freak accident like getting mashed to the sidewalk by a falling grand piano. He will probably say, "Good riddance, now Hanabi can become the Head of the Hyuuga House after me."
I'm such a weakling.
Always depending on my team mates during missions, I'm a burden to everyone. I wonder why Kurenai-sensei, Kiba-kun and and Shino-kun puts up with me. They can probably finish the missions faster without me tagging along as a third wheel.
In fact, I think only Akamaru likes me in this world.
I don't think Naruto-kun even notices me. Why do I have to be so shy? Why can't I compete with Sakura-san? Why can't I be more like Sakura-san? How can Naruto-kun possibly like me when he doesn't even see me? Well, I know he sees me now. But he thinks of me as a weirdo! How depressing.
Well, at least he did say he thinks he likes me. That's got to be good, right? I guess getting the stuffing beaten out of me is worth it after all. If I didn't fight Neji-niisan, I don't think Naruto-kun would have ever noticed me even if I dropped dead right in front of him. And having him cheer for me was really nice.
But then again, Naruto-kun cheered for everyone.
Oh, Naruto-kun. He's so... alive. I wish I can be more like him. Even though he does really silly things at times, he can be really smart and purpose- driven when it counts. And he is so strong...
He even beat Neji-niisan in front of everyone.
None of my cousins ever managed to beat Neji-niisan before.
And he looks very cute. Not Sasuke-kun's type off dark, brooding don't- bother-me-because-I'm-busy-angsting-over-my-dead-clan-which-my-older- brother-whom-I-idolized-killed attitude, but they warm, sunny and unaffected friendliness that is just so Uzumaki Naruto. I do not understand why all the girls go after Sasuke-kun and ignore Naruto-kun completely, which is good for me in a way because Sakura-san alone is enough competition. Sasuke-kun's attitude is pretty scary, if you ask me. Naruto- kun on the other hand treats you nicely, regardless of whether he knows you or not. Unless you laugh at him or call him dead last, that is. Then he tries very hard to prove you wrong.
And he has proven that sceptics wrong, time after time.
I wish I have Naruto-kun's strength. Father looks at me and thinks that I'm not fit to be a Hyuuga; I can see it in his eyes. I tried so hard to prove my worth when I fought Neji-niisan. But I failed. I failed myself.
I failed Naruto-kun.
Oh, I see Naruto-kun. I wonder what he is doing here. Nobody ever comes here. Well, nobody but me... but it's not like I'm anybody...
That's it. I'm going to be strong. I'm going to go up there and...
"N-Na-Naruto-kun!" I stammered. My cheeks flushed, I am mortified. My voice sounded squeaky in my ears.
But then again, they always sound squeaky in my ears.
I think they sound squeaky in everybody's ears.
He looked up, greeted me by name and waved at me. My heart soared; he called me Hinata-chan. He remembers who I am! And my name! And he used the –chan suffix!
I can die happy now.
Naruto-kun looks better than I remember, and I have to admit the Naruto- kun I remember is hot enough to set a house on fire already. Several houses, in fact. His hair looks silkier, and his eyes look bluer and then there's his one of a kind birth marks on his face. The scratch like marks resembles whiskers, but they never fade away. Sometimes, he reminds me of a ... fox.
I start twiddling my thumbs, a habit of mine when I'm feeling nervous. And oh boy, am I feeling nervous right now. My face feels like it's on fire and I'm pretty sure Naruto-kun can see it. That knowledge only serves to make it redder than it already is. Is it even humanly possible to turn this red?
Naruto-kun's voice startled me out of my reverie. "I found this place, it's really nice. I was going to make it my secret spot, but since you found it, it's not so secret anymore."
My lower lip trembled; I feel like crying. I've spoilt everything for Naruto- kun. He doesn't want anyone here with him. He doesn't want me here with him.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't worry about it! I suppose we can make this our secret, right? After all, what're friends for, huh?"
I told you, Naruto-kun is nice to everyone, even me. And he considers me friend! Perhaps, with time, we can be more than friends? I blush again at the thought.
"S-sure...I don't mind."
Oh, he is looking at me! I kept my gaze studiously on the ground.
"Hey Hinata-chan? You don't wanna stand there all day, do ya? C'mon, lie down here, the grass wont bite," he patted the spot beside him invitingly. There, he called me Hinata-chan again. I nodded and walked slowly to him, physically restraining myself from running in my haste to get to him.
We sat there a for awhile quietly with him studying the clouds and me pretending to study the clouds whilst steeling up my almost non-existent courage to say what I want to say.
"Naruto-kun...thank you."
"For what?"
"For sharing this place with me."
"No problem... So... Do you feel better? Neji hurt you pretty bad..."
I feel both happy and sad at the same time. I'm happy that he cares for me, sad because it reminded me of my failure.
"I-I'm okay"
"Hinata-chan? What's wrong?" He sounded really concerned.
I looked away from him as I drew my knees to my chin and hugged them. My eyes were tearing up and I cursed myself; I'm being weak again.
"N-nothing... it's j-just that... I'm sorry, Naruto-kun..."
"Why are you sorry?"
"I'm sorry b-because... I failed you..." I blurted out and rambled on lest I lose my courage, again. "You cheered me on, believed in me, put your faith in me when all others didn't. And...and I failed you, I couldn't beat Neji-nii-san... I didn't even hurt him. And worse of all, because of my own weakness... I-I couldn't even see your m-match because I'm so weak!"
My tears are flowing freely down my cheeks now. I duck my head quickly, not wanting to shame myself in front of Naruto-kun more than I already have, but I couldn't stop myself from trembling.
"Hinata-chan...are you...crying?"
Stupid Hinata. He must be thinking you're a big baby already.
"I-I'm s-sorry, N-Naruto-kun... I don't want to trouble you...I'll leave now" I begin to pick myself up from the grass, careful to not let him see my face...
... when suddenly; a pair of arms enveloped me in a bear hug. Naruto-kun held me close, so close I could smell the herbal shampoo he used and he was patting my back while making those shh-ing noises, exactly like how someone would comfort a frightened child who just woke from a nightmare.
I allowed myself to indulge in it. It had been so long since someone last hugged me; since Hanabi was born. After that, everyone was too busy hugging Hanabi.
It feels good to have Naruto-kun's arms around me. They are strong from all his training and soft and tender at the same time; like velvet over steel. I have not experienced this feeling for so long; the feeling of being so protected, so safe...
So loved.
Gradually, I stopped shaking and sobbing slowed down to muffled whimpers.
"You shouldn't be sad at something like that, Hinata-chan... You tried your best, that's all anyone could ask for... I'm not angry at you, I have no reason to...so please... Stop crying..."
"I-I'm sorry, Naruto-kun..."
"Don't apologize, no one's gotta be sorry here..."
He's pulling away. I panicked; I'm not ready to relinquish the warmth of his embrace right now.
I didn't allow myself to think and did the unthinkable:
I jumped him.
Under normal circumstances in other places, I would have been horrified at my unladylike and undignified action. I can already picture my noble Hyuuga ancestors turning over in their graves. But this is our special moment and we're in our secret place.
I want this to last forever.
"P-please, Naruto-kun... Just...hold me a little longer..." I hear myself say shakily.
Naruto-kun is just so nice he never turns anyone down, even if they are asking him to do dangerous missions like bringing Sasuke-home or holding a silly girl for a while.
His arms wrapped around me once more and he lowered both of us onto the ground. We lay there, him on his back and me on him, with my cheek on his chest and our breathing gradually synchronizing. The sun shone high above and there was a soft breeze blowing around us.
Encircled in his embrace and enfolded in his presence, I can't help but think that perhaps I'm not such a loser after all.
---OWARI---
Author's Note:
Well, the end. Another one shot. This time, it's my debut fic when it comes to writing the first point of view. Eheh
Responses to Shadowed Moon's challenge in the Kitsune no Hana's Forum. The challenge is to write a parallel fic to his/her Bright Skies, Blue Eyes (which you can find on FF.net from Hinata's point of view.
I'm not sure of the quality of this fic, because I was more or less just pecking away randomly on the computer. I hope the Naruto and Hinata weren't horribly out of character.
Ok, that's all. Hope you all enjoyed it and please review! I appreciate your wonderful feedback.
Update: 5 July 2004
Review Replies:
Slam Shuffle: Thank you. I'm glad you liked it!
Refused: I'm sorry to hear that you don't ship NaruHina. Bit I'm really happy that you liked it and it made you happy!
Kashisensey: I'm honored by your words. But I'm likely to be writing one- shots for a while until I'm less busy and can commit myself to multi- chapter fics.
Mush: Yes, it's a mirror fic to Shadow Moon's Blue Skies, White Eyes. And thank you for your review!
Fireblazie: Oooh...I'm so honored! I love your fics! Especially Swing and The Troubles of Life. –Goes into rabid fan-girl mode-
Shadowed-Moon2525: As I've said; I'm glad you liked it! And it would never have been written if not for your awesome fic in the first place.
Well, that's all. I'll reply to reviews as they come in, if they come in. However, I cannot add another chapter to reply reviews as somebody reported me and got my account suspended the last time I did that. Till next time peeps!
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