Musings of the Nazgul
Did I make the right decision? A petty question now, it is far too late for it to matter...
I was offered a gift, I was chosen, I was privileged, I was honored, and I was broken, I was beaten, I was tamed... Did I make the right decision?
I gave him everything, and it still seems like so little... I would give more, had I more to give, but he has all of me. I despise him so deeply that my every moment is spent in awe of him, I plot his downfall even as I strengthen his defenses... I loath him but love him, I fight him but submit, I would kill him to die for him... did I make the right decision?
Did I... do I...
The thought of losing him, of being turned away, such torture, I would rather be kept by his side in agony unending than sent forth from him in comfort. To serve the one... to stand beside him in triumph... these are all I treasure now...
"Come not between the Nazgul and his prey, or he will not slay thee in turn. he will bear thee away to the house of lamentation, beyond all darkness. where thy flesh shall be devoured, and thy shrivled mind left naked to the lidless Eye!"
What is wealth to a nazgul? What is love? Or warmth? What is home and family to ones such as us? We need only the eye of our lord, the pain of his displeasure, the fire of his joy. Did I make the right decision?
"Do what you will; but I will hinder it, if I may."
In my days as a human I never understood... the greatest gift of all, the gift of utter and complete loyalty, the gift I gave him last, but should have offered first...
"Hinder me? Thou fool. No living man may hinder me..."
Did I make the right decision?
"But no living man am I!"
Did I make the right decision?
The blade sinks into me, even as my lord cries at me to pull back... I feel... such agony and pleasure... such torment and rapture... I failed my lord... I failed you...
But I made the right decision.