Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun...obviously.
Angel: Yay yet another Vash/Meryl fic by me!
Knives: So do I get a part?
Angel: Yeah, you play the idiot in distress.
Knives: I hate you. *scowls*
Angel: Oh no you hurt my feelings *pretends to cry*
Knives: *Evil glare*
Angel: You're so cute when you act all evil.
Knives: It isn't an act you pathetic human.
Angel: You know that evil guys get all the fans don't you?
Knives: What ever.
Angel: What! You don't believe me? Just look at Legato. *Points over to where Legato is being bundled by hundreds of screaming fans*
Knives: O.O *sweat drops and runs away*
Angel: Okay now on with the fic *bows and chases after Knives*
Part 1: Why don't you apologize to him?
Staring at the glass cupped in her cool palms she bowed her head slightly to catch sight of the gleaming liquid in the dull lights of the bar. The drink sat cradled in her grasp as if mocking her and she tipped her head to one side and drew in a deep breath. Part of her badly wanted to drink the alcohol that shimmered before her, telling her that it would help her forget the pain in her heart and the fatigue that had slowly crept into her muscles. Yet at the same time she realized that it might be a bad idea, she had to get up early for work in the morning and she didn't want to break her no-drinking rule.
She snatched her hands away from the glass and scowled at the disgusting drink, which made devils of even the sweetest men. She could think of one man who acted like a total idiot when he got drunk...but then again he always acted like a fool.
No, Meryl Stryfe the respectable, hard-worker would not stoop to the level of Vash and all the others like him...even if she was desperate to forget all that had happened since the humanoid typhoon had returned with his brother.
She shifted uncomfortably on the stool and lifted the glass up to observe the liquid again. 'It couldn't hurt could it...just one glass never hurt anybody...right?' She rubbed her forehead in frustration as the start of a headache itched into her skull and made her eyes ache and placed the glass down again.
The bartender who had been watching her from a distance approached cautiously and leaned over the bar so she was standing opposite the young insurance girl.
"Hey there miss, seems like your feeling down today." The older woman put on a kindly smile, which wrinkled her face into the friendliest one Meryl had seen for a long time. This smile alone was enough to brighten the spirits of the weary girl and she actually managed a smile in return.
"I guess you could say that." She ran her fingers through her raven hair, which pooled around her face in delicate silken threads.
"Wanna talk about it?" The bartender asked as she grabbed a cloth and began to rub down the bar.
"I don't think you want to know." Meryl slumped forwards and let her gaze fall onto the drink again.
"Try me." The bartender challenged before drawing up a chair to sit down. "I might be able to help you, there isn't much that I haven't been through myself you know."
Their eyes met and Meryl shrugged and sighed miserably; "Men." She murmured and the older woman laughed and nodded. "I thought it might be." She leaned forwards resting her elbows on the bar and propping her head in her palms giving Meryl her undivided attention. "Go on." She urged gently.
Meryl nodded and opened her mouth to speak of what had occurred between her and Vash the day he had returned. It was a day she would regret for the rest of her life and one that she had planned to keep as a secret. She was ashamed of how she had acted and now this kind stranger would know what she had done.
***Flashback***
Meryl had been working extremely hard whilst Vash was away fighting his brother, no one could deny that. She was up at six o'clock every morning so that she could go to work in the restaurant that was in the town center. After working there from seven in the morning to five in the afternoon with only a couple of breaks she then went to work at a small bar in the evenings. The only reason she chose such long hours because they desperately needed money to live on. The insurance company had stopped sending as much money because they had broken contact with Vash the Stampede and she had no other choice.
These were not the sorts of jobs that Meryl was used to doing, she hated the way the men leered at her with their ugly thoughts shimmering in their eyes and she especially hated it when drunk men lusted after her in the bar. Twice she came close to firing her derringers into the faces of those disgusting men but every time she considered it she knew it was a bad idea. For one thing Vash would never forgive her for firing on a person who was too drunk to know any better. That was another reason that she despised alcohol so much.
Millie was working with the others in the town to help fix the well and it had been going considerably good lately. She was also dealing extremely well with Wolfwood's sudden and unexpected death, which Meryl admired most about her friend. She didn't know if she could ever be as strong as Millie but just having a friend with such strength seemed to help.
After two weeks the effect of working so hard and missing the man she desperately loved had begun to take effect on the short insurance girl and her temper had grown even shorter. Millie was very understanding towards her and that was another trait that Meryl admired about her, the way she could see into people's emotions and understand them that way. It was another thing that Meryl lacked and wished that she had.
Meryl was on her way back to the house for lunch after a hard morning of work and met Millie on the way. They had finally found the water vein and now a great plume of sparkling water was streaming up into the air. Each droplet was like a precious diamond that caught the blaze of the suns and glittered with an inner fire.
As they sat together watching the children play in the water and the workers looking just as happy Meryl had spotted a figure walking towards the town. At first she thought her eyes deceived her, 'Vash had never come back before so why would he want to now?' She questioned. It was only Millie's excited yell that had snapped her from her trance and made her realize that it was indeed him. He had finally returned to her...well not to her...to them. But that was good enough for her as long as it meant he was safe and sound.
In her excitement Meryl dashed forwards still not sure on how to greet him, should she just smile and tell him she was glad to see him again or should she do something more courageous? 'Maybe today I could give him a hug, I mean he wouldn't mind and maybe this time it will give me the courage to tell him what has been on my mind for so long.' With this lingering hope Meryl hopped down from the wall that she had been seated on and approached him with quickening steps.
As soon as she was close enough to see that he was not alone the small hope she had held inside was dashed and she froze, her hair was the only thing that moved in the slight breeze and her eyes never left the figure slung over his shoulder. Feeling a sudden pang of fear deep inside her she stopped knowing that the man Vash had with him could only be one person. Of course she had never expected him to actually kill his own brother, but to bring him back here! What if he woke up and decided that he was going to kill everyone? This town had already proved their dislike of Vash, if they ever found out that he had brought back an even more dangerous man she didn't want to think of what they might do.
Vash must have noticed her fearful and slightly angry expression as his step faltered and he walked slower as if trying to think up some sort of excuse. He was so tired after wandering through the desert carrying his brother who was extremely heavy, as well as having painful wounds that he still hadn't tended to. He had just wanted to get back to the girls as soon as possible; he hated being alone in the harsh conditions of the desert. He smiled slightly at that thought, at one time he would have been grateful to get rid of the insurance girls and be alone. Now though...he had grown used to them and enjoyed their company, he had never had proper friends before. But the way that the short insurance girl was staring at him made him just a little nervous.
Millie had come to stand beside Meryl her face slightly friendlier although he could see the look of nervousness in her usually smiling eyes. He paused in front of them and gave them his most comforting smile, which failed miserably. The two girls stood silently, their eyes pinned on the man slung over Vash's shoulder. It was Millie who finally broke the silence.
"Welcome back Mr. Vash!" She grinned and leapt forward to pull him into a crushing embrace seemingly forgetting about the man he was carrying.
"It's...nice to see...you too but...I...can't breath!" Vash managed to splutter and Millie released him instantly. He swayed on his feet and blinked to try and clear his vision knowing that he had to sit down before he collapsed.
"Would you like me to carry him inside?" Millie asked knowing all too well that Vash was extremely tired and maybe even injured.
Nodding slowly Vash let Knives down from his shoulder and Millie took him and laid him on the ground. She was a strong girl everybody knew, for one thing she had been able to carry Wolfwood's punisher when most other people - including men - would probably not be able to shift it even a little. She glanced back up at Meryl and Vash who stood, regarding each other silently and decided she would give them some time alone. Carefully she lifted Knives up and walked slowly so that only the heels of his feet scraped the ground. She glanced back once to check on the two who still had not moved and sighed miserably. 'She won't tell him' Millie realized sadly and turned her attention at getting Knives back to the house.
Meryl kept her gaze fixed on the man standing in front of her and knew all too well that he probably wasn't in the mood for a lecture right now. Even still, she couldn't just ignore the fact that he had brought home a dangerous man and that by doing so he proved just how reckless and stupid he really was.
"That was your brother wasn't it?" She began, her tone calm and controlled.
"Yeah." Vash nodded and she noticed the vibrancy had gone from his eyes since the last time they had seen each other.
"Do you realize that by bringing him back here you put everyone in danger?" She got straight to the point and saw him wince in reply.
"Hey, come on insurance girl I wont let him hurt anyone." He put on another weak, false smile.
"How can you be so sure!?" She yelled and took a step towards him.
"Well he's too injured right now to do anything." Vash held up his hands in surrender.
"You better be right!" She continued. "If anything happens it'll all be your fault! Knives will not stay hurt forever, and when he heals he will certainly be angry that you beat him!" She continued her anger not because she really minded that he had brought Knives back but because she was frustrated. He was back but the danger hadn't gone and she still couldn't tell him her feelings.
Vash nodded and smiled sadly, he had been so desperate to get back to them that he had completely forgotten how selfish it was to bring Knives back with him. Now they both hated him, and just seeing the angry expression on Meryl's face was enough to realize what a mistake it had been. He lowered his gaze in shame and felt his head spin slightly. Then slowly he felt consciousness drain from him and he knew this was a battle even he could not win. He staggered forwards and knocked into Meryl, who caught him just in time, but his weight proved too much and she fell to her knees.
Instantly she realized that she had been too hard on him, he had probably just come back to rest, he probably hadn't even planned on staying. He was hurt and tired and she had done nothing but scream at him. Tears tingled in her eyes as she looked at the man lying in her embrace and she remained like that until Millie came back to look for them and helped carry him back to the house.
It wasn't long before both Vash and Knives were settled in one of the rooms in the tiny house and Meryl flopped down on the couch, burying her face in her hands. She could not believe that after all that had happened she still couldn't be nice to him and be content to have him safe. There was just something about that man which brought the worst out in her, 'maybe it's because of my feelings towards him' she thought miserably. 'Or maybe it's because he is just an idiot' her head snapped up at hearing someone coming down the stairs and she turned round to see Millie appearing round the corner. Meryl forced a tired smile and moved up to make room for Millie to sit down next to her.
"Meryl...I thought you were going to tell him."
"I cant" Meryl whispered sadly and battled to keep the tears away from her eyes. The taller girl laid a hand on her shoulder and smiled sadly.
"Why not?"
"Because...there are so many reasons why I cant." Meryl shook her head and stood up, trying to rid herself of the self-pity that was growing inside of her.
"Name one." Millie challenged.
"For one thing it isn't over, Knives is still alive which means that the danger is still here." Meryl's eyes hardened.
"That doesn't mean you can't tell him."
"Yes it does, I cant be another person to add to his burdens Millie, it just wouldn't be fair of me."
"You worry about the strangest things, how could having someone love you be a burden?"
"I'm not going to explain it Millie!" Meryl retorted and stormed upstairs.
She threw the door of her room open and that shut it before crossing the room and flopping face down on the bed. Her head hurt so much from everything that had occurred and even though she knew that Vash was alive and well she couldn't be happy. She wanted to go to the room next door and tell him how sorry she was but felt that it would be pointless. How could she apologize for what she had done when she would probably go and do it again if given another chance?
Rolling onto her side she fell asleep and didn't wake up until late afternoon when a loud sound came from the room next to hers. Cursing at having been woken up she ran her fingers through her hair to make it a little more presentable before leaving the safety of her room and venturing out into the hall. She stood still for a moment, thinking that maybe she had imagined the noise when another loud thump broke the tranquility of the house.
With a sigh Meryl took the couple of steps over to the room where Vash and Knives were and tapped lightly on to the door with her knuckles. She waited about a second longer before thrusting the door open and let her eyes scan the room.
She stifled a laugh at the scene in front of her and chose to sigh in exasperation instead. Vash was half hanging from the bed, his head cracked against the ground and tears running down his face. Obviously he had forgotten that he was no longer sleeping in the desert and had fallen from the bed in his sleep. He turned his head slowly to look at her and turned bright red as he tried to cover the scars on his chest that were now visible.
"Idiot." Meryl breathed and watched him stand up and clutch the thin blanket against him. "You know I've already seen your scars Vash what makes you think I will react different this...time..." She trailed off as she saw that maybe this time was different. She noticed a rather unruly looking bandage on his shoulder and strode over to stand opposite him.
"W-what are you doing?" She ignored his mild protest and snatched the blanket from his grip to get a closer look at the bandage that obviously covered a wound.
"Who did this?"
"Well uh Knives did." He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.
"Ugh not that, I mean who bandaged your wound." Her tone was sharp and he winced.
"Well I did." He flopped down on the bed and glanced up nervously at the insurance girl.
"Why didn't you tell Millie or myself?"
"I didn't want to trouble you with it, it doesn't hurt that much." Vash diverted his gaze to his brother and his eyes clouded over with grief and Meryl's heart beat cold. What she had said earlier had really affected him badly, now he would most likely leave and she really didn't want him too.
"Well give me a minute and I'll go and get some more bandages and water so I can deal with your wounds." She said quietly and shuffled from the room as quickly as possible. She hadn't wanted him to see the tears of shame in her eyes.
Half an hour later she had dealt with his wounds in uncomfortable silence and as she turned to leave the room she felt his hand on hers. She glanced down at it and tried to control a blush that crept up into her face.
"I'm sorry Meryl." He whispered and her heart twisted with a jolt of pain, she had been waiting for him to call her by name for the longest time but now it only caused her heartache. She nodded and walked quickly out of the room and closed the door on the choked sobs. This was just like last time - her being too afraid to go and comfort him - afraid that if she did she might tell him her true feelings. She finally released her tears and returned to her own room, too afraid to go anywhere else incase she bumped into Millie.
***End Flashback***
Meryl paused and glanced away as she felt the tears return to her violet eyes, she could remember clearly how much she must have hurt him by those remarks. All she had wanted to do was embrace him but instead she had yelled at him and even worse he had been injured.
The bartender stood silently, her eyes fixed on the girl whose head was now turned away to hide the tears that had begun to form in her violet orbs. "It seems to me that you are scared." She said quietly and picked up the rag again to clean the bar once more.
"Yes." Meryl admitted with a nod of her head.
"Why don't you apologize to him?"
"Well it happened two days ago, we haven't spoken and I'm working all the time so I haven't had a chance to. Plus I don't think he wants to talk to me."
"You'll never know for sure until you try." The bartender smiled again.
"Well that's true enough." Meryl lifted the drink again and looked at it. "But what would I say?"
"That you're sorry." The woman pointed out and laughed slightly. "Just drink it, you never know, it might actually help."
Finally Meryl agreed, she brought the glass to her lips and drank it quickly before she could change her mind and felt the warmth of the alcohol take effect. Yes it didn't taste very nice and it still didn't change her mind that alcohol was a vile drink but still it seemed to help. The cold ache in her heart slowly dissolved to warmth and she quickly ordered another. At least for one evening she could forget all the pain that she felt and had caused Vash to feel.
The bartender handed her another drink and went back to dealing with other customers to leave the girl to think. Meryl gratefully accepted the drink and sat savoring it for a while before draining the glass. It was not long before the insurance girl had had enough and refused any more offers to buy her drinks. Part of her mind was still telling her that she was ready to go home but her legs felt unsteady and she remained seated for a while longer.
It wasn't long before the short girl became completely drunk, her mind was a mixture of strange emotions and the giddy feeling she felt made her feel slightly sick. Yet at the same time she felt free, free of the burdens of love and pain. Carefully supporting herself with one hand she stood up and turned to face the door. The ground felt like it was moving beneath her and as she took the first step she stumbled and landed against a table. Growling angrily she straightened and waited patiently for her head to stop spinning so madly.
The bartender glanced over at her nervously and quickly signaled for a young man to help her home who instantly got up and went to stand beside Meryl.
"Maybe I can help you there." He asked gently and reached out to hold onto her arm.
"I'm fine!" She snapped and the man let her go and jumped back before giving a nervous glance back to the bartender. Meryl turned her glazed eyes up to the man who was looking slightly frightened and shoved him out of the way before staggering to the door.
She cursed the drink, cursed the saloon, cursed the woman who had offered her the drink and most of all she cursed Vash who had been the one to lead her to all of this. 'No it wasn't him...' Meryl thought sadly, 'this happened because I'm scared...' She pressed one palm against the building to steady herself as a gust of cold wind raced through the town and shivered. The drink had not given her freedom at all or if it had it had not lasted nearly long enough.
She wrapped her arms around herself in attempt to keep warm from the biting cold and leaned against the building, Her head felt light and as if it did not belong to her but she knew it did, no other mind could be as messed up as hers was right now - well maybe apart from Knives.
Her breath was hot and ragged in her lungs and rasped through her lips before becoming a mist in the night air. The shadows grew thicker as the dark grew in intensity and as she turned the corner and looked up at the dark house she felt her heart freeze over. She had been hoping to see a comforting light, a sign that someone had waited up for her to come home. At the same time she was glad, she didn't want anyone to see her in this state, especially Vash who would probably tease her for the rest of her life.
Sighing miserably she staggered up to the house and opened the door before stepping into the dark living room. Her head span as she took in the depth of the shadow and shivered sadly at how quickly the warmth of the alcohol had left her. A single, crystal tear slivered down her porcelain cheek and she leaned heavily against the table, her shoulders quivering from holding back the sobs.
* * * * * *
Vash stood up and stretched lightly, being careful not to injure his shoulder and tore his eyes away from his unconscious brother to glance out of the window and across the dark streets. He hadn't slept a wink since he had returned to the town not because he didn't want to but because his mind just wouldn't relax. He was constantly thinking about the injuries he had caused his brother and whether he would survive them. He was also concerned about the short girl who hadn't been her usual self since he had returned.
He glanced back at his brother who still hadn't moved at all and sat on the edge of the bed to keep an eye on him. Meryl's words about Knives wanting revenge when he woke up still haunted him. What if she was right and when Knives woke up he continued to hurt people? He buried his face in his hands and drew in a long breath when he heard a sound down in the kitchen.
'She's back!' he felt a great weight lifted from his shoulders knowing that Meryl was safe and decided to go down and ask her where she had been. Standing up again he took one last glance at his brother before slipping out of the door and into the hall.
Padding slowly down the short flight of stairs he saw movement in the dark and paused in the doorway. Surely the girl he was looking at couldn't be Meryl! Not the strong dependable woman who was always in control! The woman in front of him was leaning against the table as if she was too weak to stand and by the way she was shaking it looked like she was crying. Fear welled up inside him to join with his clenched heart and the thickening in his throat made it painful for him to speak.
"H-hey insurance girl." He reached out a hand to her but recoiled as her head snapped up and her fiery eyes settled on him. He could tell even in the strong darkness that she was angry at being discovered in such a vulnerable state.
She dragged a hand across her face to wipe away any loose tears and stared angrily at him. "What do you want?" She snapped and he blinked in surprise.
"Meryl...are you...drunk?" He was now even more concerned about her, the Meryl Stryfe he knew would never even touch alcohol. Closing the distance between them he lifted her face up so he could look into her eyes and felt tears tingle in his own aqua orbs.
"Get offa me!" She pushed his hands away roughly and tried to get past him.
"Maybe I should help you up the stairs?" He offered gently but she ignored him and stumbled up the few stairs to her room, knowing that he was following her closely. He tried to follow her further but was knocked back as she slammed the door closed and left him standing alone in the dark.
Feeling confused and miserable Vash leaned against her door, pressing his forehead against the cold surface and closing his eyes. His life felt like a complete mess and he had no idea what he was going to do about it. He knew deep inside that he was causing Meryl pain and maybe even Millie as well. Probably having him around reminded her about Wolfwood, and Meryl was probably still mad at him for bringing Knives back with him.
Laying his spread palm against the smooth door he listened to the sound of his breathing in the deafening silence until he heard another sound behind him.
"Mr. Vash?" He smiled slightly and turned his head to glance at Millie who had obviously woken up after Meryl had slammed the door shut.
"Oh hello." He said a little too brightly to be convincing.
"Is something wrong?"
"No everything's fine, you can go back to sleep now." He grinned nervously.
"Has Meryl upset you again?"
"No nothing like that." He edged sideways and headed back to his room to check on Knives.
"Okay." Millie whispered as she watched him disappear into his room before glancing at Meryl's door. 'Why does she keep up this pretence?' Millie wondered sadly, 'it's just causing them both so much pain, things would be much easier if they could comfort each other.' She shook her head in dismay at how stubborn both of them were being before returning to her small room across the hall.
The house was silent once more, wrapped in a coldness that seeped from their saddened hearts. Torn and broken and isolated they all wished for a brighter day to follow...
Angel: Well there it is, my first chapter done ^.^
Knives: Why do you keep following me?
Angel: I figured that if I stayed near you we would bump into your brother sometime.
Knives: Who cares about that idiot?
Angel: Me!
Knives: ...
Angel: Anyway please leave a review for me! *puppy eyes*
Knives: You can't make them review.
Angel: No...but you can, you have that mind control thingy. *Wolfish grin*
Knives: I don't think so woman. If you insist on following me around you will do as I say.
Angel: *salutes* yes sir!
Knives: *rolls eyes* Give it a rest!
Angel: *.* okay!!
Knives: Aaahh save me from this freak!
Angel: Yay yet another Vash/Meryl fic by me!
Knives: So do I get a part?
Angel: Yeah, you play the idiot in distress.
Knives: I hate you. *scowls*
Angel: Oh no you hurt my feelings *pretends to cry*
Knives: *Evil glare*
Angel: You're so cute when you act all evil.
Knives: It isn't an act you pathetic human.
Angel: You know that evil guys get all the fans don't you?
Knives: What ever.
Angel: What! You don't believe me? Just look at Legato. *Points over to where Legato is being bundled by hundreds of screaming fans*
Knives: O.O *sweat drops and runs away*
Angel: Okay now on with the fic *bows and chases after Knives*
Part 1: Why don't you apologize to him?
Staring at the glass cupped in her cool palms she bowed her head slightly to catch sight of the gleaming liquid in the dull lights of the bar. The drink sat cradled in her grasp as if mocking her and she tipped her head to one side and drew in a deep breath. Part of her badly wanted to drink the alcohol that shimmered before her, telling her that it would help her forget the pain in her heart and the fatigue that had slowly crept into her muscles. Yet at the same time she realized that it might be a bad idea, she had to get up early for work in the morning and she didn't want to break her no-drinking rule.
She snatched her hands away from the glass and scowled at the disgusting drink, which made devils of even the sweetest men. She could think of one man who acted like a total idiot when he got drunk...but then again he always acted like a fool.
No, Meryl Stryfe the respectable, hard-worker would not stoop to the level of Vash and all the others like him...even if she was desperate to forget all that had happened since the humanoid typhoon had returned with his brother.
She shifted uncomfortably on the stool and lifted the glass up to observe the liquid again. 'It couldn't hurt could it...just one glass never hurt anybody...right?' She rubbed her forehead in frustration as the start of a headache itched into her skull and made her eyes ache and placed the glass down again.
The bartender who had been watching her from a distance approached cautiously and leaned over the bar so she was standing opposite the young insurance girl.
"Hey there miss, seems like your feeling down today." The older woman put on a kindly smile, which wrinkled her face into the friendliest one Meryl had seen for a long time. This smile alone was enough to brighten the spirits of the weary girl and she actually managed a smile in return.
"I guess you could say that." She ran her fingers through her raven hair, which pooled around her face in delicate silken threads.
"Wanna talk about it?" The bartender asked as she grabbed a cloth and began to rub down the bar.
"I don't think you want to know." Meryl slumped forwards and let her gaze fall onto the drink again.
"Try me." The bartender challenged before drawing up a chair to sit down. "I might be able to help you, there isn't much that I haven't been through myself you know."
Their eyes met and Meryl shrugged and sighed miserably; "Men." She murmured and the older woman laughed and nodded. "I thought it might be." She leaned forwards resting her elbows on the bar and propping her head in her palms giving Meryl her undivided attention. "Go on." She urged gently.
Meryl nodded and opened her mouth to speak of what had occurred between her and Vash the day he had returned. It was a day she would regret for the rest of her life and one that she had planned to keep as a secret. She was ashamed of how she had acted and now this kind stranger would know what she had done.
***Flashback***
Meryl had been working extremely hard whilst Vash was away fighting his brother, no one could deny that. She was up at six o'clock every morning so that she could go to work in the restaurant that was in the town center. After working there from seven in the morning to five in the afternoon with only a couple of breaks she then went to work at a small bar in the evenings. The only reason she chose such long hours because they desperately needed money to live on. The insurance company had stopped sending as much money because they had broken contact with Vash the Stampede and she had no other choice.
These were not the sorts of jobs that Meryl was used to doing, she hated the way the men leered at her with their ugly thoughts shimmering in their eyes and she especially hated it when drunk men lusted after her in the bar. Twice she came close to firing her derringers into the faces of those disgusting men but every time she considered it she knew it was a bad idea. For one thing Vash would never forgive her for firing on a person who was too drunk to know any better. That was another reason that she despised alcohol so much.
Millie was working with the others in the town to help fix the well and it had been going considerably good lately. She was also dealing extremely well with Wolfwood's sudden and unexpected death, which Meryl admired most about her friend. She didn't know if she could ever be as strong as Millie but just having a friend with such strength seemed to help.
After two weeks the effect of working so hard and missing the man she desperately loved had begun to take effect on the short insurance girl and her temper had grown even shorter. Millie was very understanding towards her and that was another trait that Meryl admired about her, the way she could see into people's emotions and understand them that way. It was another thing that Meryl lacked and wished that she had.
Meryl was on her way back to the house for lunch after a hard morning of work and met Millie on the way. They had finally found the water vein and now a great plume of sparkling water was streaming up into the air. Each droplet was like a precious diamond that caught the blaze of the suns and glittered with an inner fire.
As they sat together watching the children play in the water and the workers looking just as happy Meryl had spotted a figure walking towards the town. At first she thought her eyes deceived her, 'Vash had never come back before so why would he want to now?' She questioned. It was only Millie's excited yell that had snapped her from her trance and made her realize that it was indeed him. He had finally returned to her...well not to her...to them. But that was good enough for her as long as it meant he was safe and sound.
In her excitement Meryl dashed forwards still not sure on how to greet him, should she just smile and tell him she was glad to see him again or should she do something more courageous? 'Maybe today I could give him a hug, I mean he wouldn't mind and maybe this time it will give me the courage to tell him what has been on my mind for so long.' With this lingering hope Meryl hopped down from the wall that she had been seated on and approached him with quickening steps.
As soon as she was close enough to see that he was not alone the small hope she had held inside was dashed and she froze, her hair was the only thing that moved in the slight breeze and her eyes never left the figure slung over his shoulder. Feeling a sudden pang of fear deep inside her she stopped knowing that the man Vash had with him could only be one person. Of course she had never expected him to actually kill his own brother, but to bring him back here! What if he woke up and decided that he was going to kill everyone? This town had already proved their dislike of Vash, if they ever found out that he had brought back an even more dangerous man she didn't want to think of what they might do.
Vash must have noticed her fearful and slightly angry expression as his step faltered and he walked slower as if trying to think up some sort of excuse. He was so tired after wandering through the desert carrying his brother who was extremely heavy, as well as having painful wounds that he still hadn't tended to. He had just wanted to get back to the girls as soon as possible; he hated being alone in the harsh conditions of the desert. He smiled slightly at that thought, at one time he would have been grateful to get rid of the insurance girls and be alone. Now though...he had grown used to them and enjoyed their company, he had never had proper friends before. But the way that the short insurance girl was staring at him made him just a little nervous.
Millie had come to stand beside Meryl her face slightly friendlier although he could see the look of nervousness in her usually smiling eyes. He paused in front of them and gave them his most comforting smile, which failed miserably. The two girls stood silently, their eyes pinned on the man slung over Vash's shoulder. It was Millie who finally broke the silence.
"Welcome back Mr. Vash!" She grinned and leapt forward to pull him into a crushing embrace seemingly forgetting about the man he was carrying.
"It's...nice to see...you too but...I...can't breath!" Vash managed to splutter and Millie released him instantly. He swayed on his feet and blinked to try and clear his vision knowing that he had to sit down before he collapsed.
"Would you like me to carry him inside?" Millie asked knowing all too well that Vash was extremely tired and maybe even injured.
Nodding slowly Vash let Knives down from his shoulder and Millie took him and laid him on the ground. She was a strong girl everybody knew, for one thing she had been able to carry Wolfwood's punisher when most other people - including men - would probably not be able to shift it even a little. She glanced back up at Meryl and Vash who stood, regarding each other silently and decided she would give them some time alone. Carefully she lifted Knives up and walked slowly so that only the heels of his feet scraped the ground. She glanced back once to check on the two who still had not moved and sighed miserably. 'She won't tell him' Millie realized sadly and turned her attention at getting Knives back to the house.
Meryl kept her gaze fixed on the man standing in front of her and knew all too well that he probably wasn't in the mood for a lecture right now. Even still, she couldn't just ignore the fact that he had brought home a dangerous man and that by doing so he proved just how reckless and stupid he really was.
"That was your brother wasn't it?" She began, her tone calm and controlled.
"Yeah." Vash nodded and she noticed the vibrancy had gone from his eyes since the last time they had seen each other.
"Do you realize that by bringing him back here you put everyone in danger?" She got straight to the point and saw him wince in reply.
"Hey, come on insurance girl I wont let him hurt anyone." He put on another weak, false smile.
"How can you be so sure!?" She yelled and took a step towards him.
"Well he's too injured right now to do anything." Vash held up his hands in surrender.
"You better be right!" She continued. "If anything happens it'll all be your fault! Knives will not stay hurt forever, and when he heals he will certainly be angry that you beat him!" She continued her anger not because she really minded that he had brought Knives back but because she was frustrated. He was back but the danger hadn't gone and she still couldn't tell him her feelings.
Vash nodded and smiled sadly, he had been so desperate to get back to them that he had completely forgotten how selfish it was to bring Knives back with him. Now they both hated him, and just seeing the angry expression on Meryl's face was enough to realize what a mistake it had been. He lowered his gaze in shame and felt his head spin slightly. Then slowly he felt consciousness drain from him and he knew this was a battle even he could not win. He staggered forwards and knocked into Meryl, who caught him just in time, but his weight proved too much and she fell to her knees.
Instantly she realized that she had been too hard on him, he had probably just come back to rest, he probably hadn't even planned on staying. He was hurt and tired and she had done nothing but scream at him. Tears tingled in her eyes as she looked at the man lying in her embrace and she remained like that until Millie came back to look for them and helped carry him back to the house.
It wasn't long before both Vash and Knives were settled in one of the rooms in the tiny house and Meryl flopped down on the couch, burying her face in her hands. She could not believe that after all that had happened she still couldn't be nice to him and be content to have him safe. There was just something about that man which brought the worst out in her, 'maybe it's because of my feelings towards him' she thought miserably. 'Or maybe it's because he is just an idiot' her head snapped up at hearing someone coming down the stairs and she turned round to see Millie appearing round the corner. Meryl forced a tired smile and moved up to make room for Millie to sit down next to her.
"Meryl...I thought you were going to tell him."
"I cant" Meryl whispered sadly and battled to keep the tears away from her eyes. The taller girl laid a hand on her shoulder and smiled sadly.
"Why not?"
"Because...there are so many reasons why I cant." Meryl shook her head and stood up, trying to rid herself of the self-pity that was growing inside of her.
"Name one." Millie challenged.
"For one thing it isn't over, Knives is still alive which means that the danger is still here." Meryl's eyes hardened.
"That doesn't mean you can't tell him."
"Yes it does, I cant be another person to add to his burdens Millie, it just wouldn't be fair of me."
"You worry about the strangest things, how could having someone love you be a burden?"
"I'm not going to explain it Millie!" Meryl retorted and stormed upstairs.
She threw the door of her room open and that shut it before crossing the room and flopping face down on the bed. Her head hurt so much from everything that had occurred and even though she knew that Vash was alive and well she couldn't be happy. She wanted to go to the room next door and tell him how sorry she was but felt that it would be pointless. How could she apologize for what she had done when she would probably go and do it again if given another chance?
Rolling onto her side she fell asleep and didn't wake up until late afternoon when a loud sound came from the room next to hers. Cursing at having been woken up she ran her fingers through her hair to make it a little more presentable before leaving the safety of her room and venturing out into the hall. She stood still for a moment, thinking that maybe she had imagined the noise when another loud thump broke the tranquility of the house.
With a sigh Meryl took the couple of steps over to the room where Vash and Knives were and tapped lightly on to the door with her knuckles. She waited about a second longer before thrusting the door open and let her eyes scan the room.
She stifled a laugh at the scene in front of her and chose to sigh in exasperation instead. Vash was half hanging from the bed, his head cracked against the ground and tears running down his face. Obviously he had forgotten that he was no longer sleeping in the desert and had fallen from the bed in his sleep. He turned his head slowly to look at her and turned bright red as he tried to cover the scars on his chest that were now visible.
"Idiot." Meryl breathed and watched him stand up and clutch the thin blanket against him. "You know I've already seen your scars Vash what makes you think I will react different this...time..." She trailed off as she saw that maybe this time was different. She noticed a rather unruly looking bandage on his shoulder and strode over to stand opposite him.
"W-what are you doing?" She ignored his mild protest and snatched the blanket from his grip to get a closer look at the bandage that obviously covered a wound.
"Who did this?"
"Well uh Knives did." He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.
"Ugh not that, I mean who bandaged your wound." Her tone was sharp and he winced.
"Well I did." He flopped down on the bed and glanced up nervously at the insurance girl.
"Why didn't you tell Millie or myself?"
"I didn't want to trouble you with it, it doesn't hurt that much." Vash diverted his gaze to his brother and his eyes clouded over with grief and Meryl's heart beat cold. What she had said earlier had really affected him badly, now he would most likely leave and she really didn't want him too.
"Well give me a minute and I'll go and get some more bandages and water so I can deal with your wounds." She said quietly and shuffled from the room as quickly as possible. She hadn't wanted him to see the tears of shame in her eyes.
Half an hour later she had dealt with his wounds in uncomfortable silence and as she turned to leave the room she felt his hand on hers. She glanced down at it and tried to control a blush that crept up into her face.
"I'm sorry Meryl." He whispered and her heart twisted with a jolt of pain, she had been waiting for him to call her by name for the longest time but now it only caused her heartache. She nodded and walked quickly out of the room and closed the door on the choked sobs. This was just like last time - her being too afraid to go and comfort him - afraid that if she did she might tell him her true feelings. She finally released her tears and returned to her own room, too afraid to go anywhere else incase she bumped into Millie.
***End Flashback***
Meryl paused and glanced away as she felt the tears return to her violet eyes, she could remember clearly how much she must have hurt him by those remarks. All she had wanted to do was embrace him but instead she had yelled at him and even worse he had been injured.
The bartender stood silently, her eyes fixed on the girl whose head was now turned away to hide the tears that had begun to form in her violet orbs. "It seems to me that you are scared." She said quietly and picked up the rag again to clean the bar once more.
"Yes." Meryl admitted with a nod of her head.
"Why don't you apologize to him?"
"Well it happened two days ago, we haven't spoken and I'm working all the time so I haven't had a chance to. Plus I don't think he wants to talk to me."
"You'll never know for sure until you try." The bartender smiled again.
"Well that's true enough." Meryl lifted the drink again and looked at it. "But what would I say?"
"That you're sorry." The woman pointed out and laughed slightly. "Just drink it, you never know, it might actually help."
Finally Meryl agreed, she brought the glass to her lips and drank it quickly before she could change her mind and felt the warmth of the alcohol take effect. Yes it didn't taste very nice and it still didn't change her mind that alcohol was a vile drink but still it seemed to help. The cold ache in her heart slowly dissolved to warmth and she quickly ordered another. At least for one evening she could forget all the pain that she felt and had caused Vash to feel.
The bartender handed her another drink and went back to dealing with other customers to leave the girl to think. Meryl gratefully accepted the drink and sat savoring it for a while before draining the glass. It was not long before the insurance girl had had enough and refused any more offers to buy her drinks. Part of her mind was still telling her that she was ready to go home but her legs felt unsteady and she remained seated for a while longer.
It wasn't long before the short girl became completely drunk, her mind was a mixture of strange emotions and the giddy feeling she felt made her feel slightly sick. Yet at the same time she felt free, free of the burdens of love and pain. Carefully supporting herself with one hand she stood up and turned to face the door. The ground felt like it was moving beneath her and as she took the first step she stumbled and landed against a table. Growling angrily she straightened and waited patiently for her head to stop spinning so madly.
The bartender glanced over at her nervously and quickly signaled for a young man to help her home who instantly got up and went to stand beside Meryl.
"Maybe I can help you there." He asked gently and reached out to hold onto her arm.
"I'm fine!" She snapped and the man let her go and jumped back before giving a nervous glance back to the bartender. Meryl turned her glazed eyes up to the man who was looking slightly frightened and shoved him out of the way before staggering to the door.
She cursed the drink, cursed the saloon, cursed the woman who had offered her the drink and most of all she cursed Vash who had been the one to lead her to all of this. 'No it wasn't him...' Meryl thought sadly, 'this happened because I'm scared...' She pressed one palm against the building to steady herself as a gust of cold wind raced through the town and shivered. The drink had not given her freedom at all or if it had it had not lasted nearly long enough.
She wrapped her arms around herself in attempt to keep warm from the biting cold and leaned against the building, Her head felt light and as if it did not belong to her but she knew it did, no other mind could be as messed up as hers was right now - well maybe apart from Knives.
Her breath was hot and ragged in her lungs and rasped through her lips before becoming a mist in the night air. The shadows grew thicker as the dark grew in intensity and as she turned the corner and looked up at the dark house she felt her heart freeze over. She had been hoping to see a comforting light, a sign that someone had waited up for her to come home. At the same time she was glad, she didn't want anyone to see her in this state, especially Vash who would probably tease her for the rest of her life.
Sighing miserably she staggered up to the house and opened the door before stepping into the dark living room. Her head span as she took in the depth of the shadow and shivered sadly at how quickly the warmth of the alcohol had left her. A single, crystal tear slivered down her porcelain cheek and she leaned heavily against the table, her shoulders quivering from holding back the sobs.
* * * * * *
Vash stood up and stretched lightly, being careful not to injure his shoulder and tore his eyes away from his unconscious brother to glance out of the window and across the dark streets. He hadn't slept a wink since he had returned to the town not because he didn't want to but because his mind just wouldn't relax. He was constantly thinking about the injuries he had caused his brother and whether he would survive them. He was also concerned about the short girl who hadn't been her usual self since he had returned.
He glanced back at his brother who still hadn't moved at all and sat on the edge of the bed to keep an eye on him. Meryl's words about Knives wanting revenge when he woke up still haunted him. What if she was right and when Knives woke up he continued to hurt people? He buried his face in his hands and drew in a long breath when he heard a sound down in the kitchen.
'She's back!' he felt a great weight lifted from his shoulders knowing that Meryl was safe and decided to go down and ask her where she had been. Standing up again he took one last glance at his brother before slipping out of the door and into the hall.
Padding slowly down the short flight of stairs he saw movement in the dark and paused in the doorway. Surely the girl he was looking at couldn't be Meryl! Not the strong dependable woman who was always in control! The woman in front of him was leaning against the table as if she was too weak to stand and by the way she was shaking it looked like she was crying. Fear welled up inside him to join with his clenched heart and the thickening in his throat made it painful for him to speak.
"H-hey insurance girl." He reached out a hand to her but recoiled as her head snapped up and her fiery eyes settled on him. He could tell even in the strong darkness that she was angry at being discovered in such a vulnerable state.
She dragged a hand across her face to wipe away any loose tears and stared angrily at him. "What do you want?" She snapped and he blinked in surprise.
"Meryl...are you...drunk?" He was now even more concerned about her, the Meryl Stryfe he knew would never even touch alcohol. Closing the distance between them he lifted her face up so he could look into her eyes and felt tears tingle in his own aqua orbs.
"Get offa me!" She pushed his hands away roughly and tried to get past him.
"Maybe I should help you up the stairs?" He offered gently but she ignored him and stumbled up the few stairs to her room, knowing that he was following her closely. He tried to follow her further but was knocked back as she slammed the door closed and left him standing alone in the dark.
Feeling confused and miserable Vash leaned against her door, pressing his forehead against the cold surface and closing his eyes. His life felt like a complete mess and he had no idea what he was going to do about it. He knew deep inside that he was causing Meryl pain and maybe even Millie as well. Probably having him around reminded her about Wolfwood, and Meryl was probably still mad at him for bringing Knives back with him.
Laying his spread palm against the smooth door he listened to the sound of his breathing in the deafening silence until he heard another sound behind him.
"Mr. Vash?" He smiled slightly and turned his head to glance at Millie who had obviously woken up after Meryl had slammed the door shut.
"Oh hello." He said a little too brightly to be convincing.
"Is something wrong?"
"No everything's fine, you can go back to sleep now." He grinned nervously.
"Has Meryl upset you again?"
"No nothing like that." He edged sideways and headed back to his room to check on Knives.
"Okay." Millie whispered as she watched him disappear into his room before glancing at Meryl's door. 'Why does she keep up this pretence?' Millie wondered sadly, 'it's just causing them both so much pain, things would be much easier if they could comfort each other.' She shook her head in dismay at how stubborn both of them were being before returning to her small room across the hall.
The house was silent once more, wrapped in a coldness that seeped from their saddened hearts. Torn and broken and isolated they all wished for a brighter day to follow...
Angel: Well there it is, my first chapter done ^.^
Knives: Why do you keep following me?
Angel: I figured that if I stayed near you we would bump into your brother sometime.
Knives: Who cares about that idiot?
Angel: Me!
Knives: ...
Angel: Anyway please leave a review for me! *puppy eyes*
Knives: You can't make them review.
Angel: No...but you can, you have that mind control thingy. *Wolfish grin*
Knives: I don't think so woman. If you insist on following me around you will do as I say.
Angel: *salutes* yes sir!
Knives: *rolls eyes* Give it a rest!
Angel: *.* okay!!
Knives: Aaahh save me from this freak!