+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Serpentine Romeo
By Black Rapture
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters, places, and objects belong to Warner Brothers and her majesty J.K. Rowling, Queen of All Literature. (King, of course, being J.R.R. Tolkien! Oh yeah, Legolas is a hottie!)
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I wasn't sure when we first began
That you were better than
Any other man
I wanted you to prove you were my Superman
Played hard to get when we first met
Not gonna give in yet wanna make you sweat
Didn't want to connect and loose my self-respect
Didn't expect your impure effect
Didn't know I'd found
My serpentine romeo
Hit with cupid's bow
It was touch and go
Yes and no
Are you friend or foe?
I've got a right to know
'Cause when you said hello
We did a do si do
High and low
Although it's ready, set, go
Under the mistletoe
I'm caught in the undertow
With my serpentine romeo
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Chapter Five - When You Least Expect It
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hermione was not a happy witch.
She was, in fact, a very unhappy witch.
An unhappy witch with one thing on her mind.
Draco Malfoy.
The devil of her very own personal hell.
Though she couldn't help but think that if this was the case, hell might not be so bad.
These kind of thoughts were exactly why Hermione was currently not at all in a pleasant mood.
Thinking back to her rather rudely interrupted daydream earlier in History of Magic, she came to the conclusion that she was, quite obviously, losing her mind.
There was simply no other explanation. Hermione Granger did not moon over Slytherin sex gods.
" He's not a sex god. " She whined to no one in particular. But, honestly, the boy was really very good-looking. Why does it always work out that way? The gorgeous ones are always bastards, every bloody time. Perhaps it was just fate that she would die an old maid obsessed with a sarcastic, impolite, dark side of the force-loving bastard. Thankfully, Draco did not turn out to be a creepy-looking old guy.
' Something has to be done. ' Hermione decided. What exactly had to be done, she had no idea.
[-]
Granger's little episode in class that day had certainly peaked Draco's interest. So, naturally, he went to investigate. Personal boundaries be damned. He simply walked into her room without knocking, to find Hermione with her head buried in a pillow.
Upon walking closer, he caught her mumbling something about crazy old women with cats and Jedi Knights. ' What the hell is she on about? '
" Granger, talking to yourself is probably not a healthy habit to develop. " Draco drawled. Instead of appearing startled, Hermione simply turned her head to look up at him.
" What do you want, Malfoy? "
" Inquiring minds want to know what could have provoked your lovely little outburst this morning. "
" Nothing. " She snapped, turning a bit red.
" Which is exactly why your face looks like a tomato. "
" Can't you just go the hell away? "
" Seeing as it is my mission to annoy anyone I see fit, as much as possible, I am unable to comply. "
" Lest we forget your insane rant yesterday. "
" Yes, well. "
" That's not answer. "
" What was the question? "
" I don't know. "
" Nice to see you making sense these days, Granger. "
" Sod off. "
" I suppose I will seeing as your company is getting quite tiresome. " Hermione just muttered something incoherently and immersed herself in her pillow again.
Draco got up and went into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.
[-]
Hermione heard a click as Draco locked the door. A few minutes later she heard the water of the shower running. ' Why did he lock the door? ' She wondered, ' It's not like I'm going to spy on him or something. ' She snorted at the very idea before it began to seem like a very good one.
" Oh my god. " Hermione said aloud, " I am not at all contemplating spying on Draco Malfoy in the shower! " She knew it was a lie the second it came out of her mouth. She got up and walked towards the bathroom door. ' This is so wrong. ' She thought before whispering " Alohomora. "
She turned the doorknob quietly and crept inside.
Nothing on earth could have prepared her for what she was about to witness.
Draco Malfoy was singing in the shower.
Draco Malfoy was singing a muggle song in the shower.
Draco Malfoy was singing Def Leppard in the shower.
Draco Malfoy was singing Pour Some Sugar on Me in the shower.
Hermione collapsed to the floor and covered her hand with her mouth to keep from dying of laughter.
" Looking like a tramp, like a video vamp, demolition woman, can I be your man? "
Hell was freezing over before her very eyes.
" Pour some sugar on me, in the name of love, pour some sugar on me, come on fire me up. "
Merlin, Jesus, Mary, Joseph, the Father, the Son, and the Holy sodding Ghost!
" I'm hot and sticky sweet from my head to my feet. "
Hermione was actually getting turned on by this. Because, to tell the truth, Draco Malfoy had a good voice. She wasn't sure what part of the situation was the strangest. A million questions were running through her mind.
Where did he hear a muggle song?
How does he know all the words?
Why the hell is he singing?
Why is he so damn sexy?
Why isn't he singing anymore?
Why isn't the shower running anymore?
WHAT?! Oh god no.
" Nice to know what locked doors mean to people these days. " Draco's silky voice floated down to her seat on the floor. Hermione took a deep breath and looked up. ' How the hell am I going to get out of this one? '
" Oh, um, I was just ... looking for, um, my hairbrush? "
" On the floor? "
" I dropped it? "
" Then why is it on the counter? "
" Oh, ha, how did that happen? "
" That was weak, Granger, just weak. Get up. " Hermione stood up and looked uncomfortably at Draco, partly because of the awkward situation, and part because Draco was half-naked.
" Well, you see - what it is, is that - " Draco held up his hand and she quieted.
" What it is, Granger, is that you were spying on me while I was taking a shower. "
" I was just wondering why you locked the door. "
" I suppose the desire for privacy never entered your clever little head, did it? " Hermione opened her mouth to speak but just shut it again. Draco started laughing.
" This is not funny! "
" You, bookworm, goody-two-shoes, Gryffindor, Granger, snuck in to spy on Draco Malfoy in the shower? Please explain how this is not amusing. "
" I am not a goody-two-shoes. "
" Prove it. "
[-]
Now, he wasn't really expecting her to comply.
And he certainly wasn't expecting her to wrap her arms around his neck and plant a kiss on his lips.
Or allow him to slip his tongue into her mouth.
Or return the favor.
Or deepen the kiss.
Or let this necking session go on for a full five minutes before pulling away and walking back to her room.
Draco looked down.
And got back in the shower.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Serpentine Romeo
By Black Rapture
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters, places, and objects belong to Warner Brothers and her majesty J.K. Rowling, Queen of All Literature. (King, of course, being J.R.R. Tolkien! Oh yeah, Legolas is a hottie!)
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I wasn't sure when we first began
That you were better than
Any other man
I wanted you to prove you were my Superman
Played hard to get when we first met
Not gonna give in yet wanna make you sweat
Didn't want to connect and loose my self-respect
Didn't expect your impure effect
Didn't know I'd found
My serpentine romeo
Hit with cupid's bow
It was touch and go
Yes and no
Are you friend or foe?
I've got a right to know
'Cause when you said hello
We did a do si do
High and low
Although it's ready, set, go
Under the mistletoe
I'm caught in the undertow
With my serpentine romeo
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Chapter Five - When You Least Expect It
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hermione was not a happy witch.
She was, in fact, a very unhappy witch.
An unhappy witch with one thing on her mind.
Draco Malfoy.
The devil of her very own personal hell.
Though she couldn't help but think that if this was the case, hell might not be so bad.
These kind of thoughts were exactly why Hermione was currently not at all in a pleasant mood.
Thinking back to her rather rudely interrupted daydream earlier in History of Magic, she came to the conclusion that she was, quite obviously, losing her mind.
There was simply no other explanation. Hermione Granger did not moon over Slytherin sex gods.
" He's not a sex god. " She whined to no one in particular. But, honestly, the boy was really very good-looking. Why does it always work out that way? The gorgeous ones are always bastards, every bloody time. Perhaps it was just fate that she would die an old maid obsessed with a sarcastic, impolite, dark side of the force-loving bastard. Thankfully, Draco did not turn out to be a creepy-looking old guy.
' Something has to be done. ' Hermione decided. What exactly had to be done, she had no idea.
[-]
Granger's little episode in class that day had certainly peaked Draco's interest. So, naturally, he went to investigate. Personal boundaries be damned. He simply walked into her room without knocking, to find Hermione with her head buried in a pillow.
Upon walking closer, he caught her mumbling something about crazy old women with cats and Jedi Knights. ' What the hell is she on about? '
" Granger, talking to yourself is probably not a healthy habit to develop. " Draco drawled. Instead of appearing startled, Hermione simply turned her head to look up at him.
" What do you want, Malfoy? "
" Inquiring minds want to know what could have provoked your lovely little outburst this morning. "
" Nothing. " She snapped, turning a bit red.
" Which is exactly why your face looks like a tomato. "
" Can't you just go the hell away? "
" Seeing as it is my mission to annoy anyone I see fit, as much as possible, I am unable to comply. "
" Lest we forget your insane rant yesterday. "
" Yes, well. "
" That's not answer. "
" What was the question? "
" I don't know. "
" Nice to see you making sense these days, Granger. "
" Sod off. "
" I suppose I will seeing as your company is getting quite tiresome. " Hermione just muttered something incoherently and immersed herself in her pillow again.
Draco got up and went into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.
[-]
Hermione heard a click as Draco locked the door. A few minutes later she heard the water of the shower running. ' Why did he lock the door? ' She wondered, ' It's not like I'm going to spy on him or something. ' She snorted at the very idea before it began to seem like a very good one.
" Oh my god. " Hermione said aloud, " I am not at all contemplating spying on Draco Malfoy in the shower! " She knew it was a lie the second it came out of her mouth. She got up and walked towards the bathroom door. ' This is so wrong. ' She thought before whispering " Alohomora. "
She turned the doorknob quietly and crept inside.
Nothing on earth could have prepared her for what she was about to witness.
Draco Malfoy was singing in the shower.
Draco Malfoy was singing a muggle song in the shower.
Draco Malfoy was singing Def Leppard in the shower.
Draco Malfoy was singing Pour Some Sugar on Me in the shower.
Hermione collapsed to the floor and covered her hand with her mouth to keep from dying of laughter.
" Looking like a tramp, like a video vamp, demolition woman, can I be your man? "
Hell was freezing over before her very eyes.
" Pour some sugar on me, in the name of love, pour some sugar on me, come on fire me up. "
Merlin, Jesus, Mary, Joseph, the Father, the Son, and the Holy sodding Ghost!
" I'm hot and sticky sweet from my head to my feet. "
Hermione was actually getting turned on by this. Because, to tell the truth, Draco Malfoy had a good voice. She wasn't sure what part of the situation was the strangest. A million questions were running through her mind.
Where did he hear a muggle song?
How does he know all the words?
Why the hell is he singing?
Why is he so damn sexy?
Why isn't he singing anymore?
Why isn't the shower running anymore?
WHAT?! Oh god no.
" Nice to know what locked doors mean to people these days. " Draco's silky voice floated down to her seat on the floor. Hermione took a deep breath and looked up. ' How the hell am I going to get out of this one? '
" Oh, um, I was just ... looking for, um, my hairbrush? "
" On the floor? "
" I dropped it? "
" Then why is it on the counter? "
" Oh, ha, how did that happen? "
" That was weak, Granger, just weak. Get up. " Hermione stood up and looked uncomfortably at Draco, partly because of the awkward situation, and part because Draco was half-naked.
" Well, you see - what it is, is that - " Draco held up his hand and she quieted.
" What it is, Granger, is that you were spying on me while I was taking a shower. "
" I was just wondering why you locked the door. "
" I suppose the desire for privacy never entered your clever little head, did it? " Hermione opened her mouth to speak but just shut it again. Draco started laughing.
" This is not funny! "
" You, bookworm, goody-two-shoes, Gryffindor, Granger, snuck in to spy on Draco Malfoy in the shower? Please explain how this is not amusing. "
" I am not a goody-two-shoes. "
" Prove it. "
[-]
Now, he wasn't really expecting her to comply.
And he certainly wasn't expecting her to wrap her arms around his neck and plant a kiss on his lips.
Or allow him to slip his tongue into her mouth.
Or return the favor.
Or deepen the kiss.
Or let this necking session go on for a full five minutes before pulling away and walking back to her room.
Draco looked down.
And got back in the shower.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++