(Re-updated on 3/16/04) Sorry about the delay, everyone. I could say so much nonsense about all the injustice crap that's been going on over my last week or so, but I've got a chapter to update and a shower to take for the in-school play tomorrow morning. So here's what SHOULD have been posted last Saturday, with the exception of PippinPirate's review response, which I added. Enjoy.
(Originally written for 3/13/04) Ugh, it's been such a long week, and the next two are going to be even longer. I have two term papers to write, my school play opens Thursday, orchestra trip to Orlando, AP homework, Honor Society application to fill out, not to mention quizzes, tests, projects. You guys aren't going to be getting an update on the 27th, sorry, I'll be away. I'm also kind of behind on the chapter writing, so bear with me. The really heavy stuff starts in the next three chapters too. Crap. Oh well. Responses:
Kim: Thanks. The question wasn't trouble, just something that I knew someone was going to ask about eventually. Don't worry about it.
Angel: haha, thanks for your suggestions, but I think you'll like my version just as much. Not quite as schmaltzy, but it'll still be good.
Abby/Angie: Megillah. Check. Anyway, I'm working on "fulfilling" some more of the creators' stuff. I personally love those two directors, they make the best Disney films (Aladdin and Hercules, among others), and I'm gonna throw in some of the "edited" stuff. And yeah- the thesaurus is my best friend.
Mermaid Ninja: Thanks for your "helpful suggestions." If you were at all serious about them, no thanks, I'm fine. However, it's difficult to tell how sarcastic you're being when you write such terse reviews. It sounded like you were trying to knock off Skye for whatever reason. If you were sincere, then I apologize whole-heartedly. Give more detailed reviews and then I won't mistake your "suggestions" for sarcastic flames.
Dreaming: Luckily, this chapter will exceed my last one in detail and whatnot.
SB1007: Heh heh. I don't really have anything to say. Stay tuned, faithful reader!
Tallemera: I'm glad you like Arrow more. He's a loser in the book but I like this version of him better, don't you think?
Wolfdog: Hope the chapter lives up to your expectations!
Dalmationgirl: Thank you.
PippinPirate: Thank you for your review. You actually did a pretty good job of predicting what was needed, b/c most of the stuff you discussed is in this chapter. The only thing I really didn't like was the forgetful-ness, b/c that seems a little too Dory-like, and it would probably hurt the story later on, and I'm also pretty much done with discussing Arrow after this, although there will be some stuff mentioned by Scroop with the cannon thing later on. I also thought I was doing all right with giving Skye dimension, but maybe it's a personal bias that I have. Anyway, thanks for the review. I will be checkin' out Billy Boyd there, but I didn't really like Vanilla Coke…sorry, haha.
Right. Here's your chapter. In the words of Dreaming, I've got homework to do- useless Spanish nonsense (English, Spanish, whatever). See ya'll next week.
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The cool blue dust of the nebula glowed defiantly, a beautiful tragedy. Columns and swirls of gas emanated from the bright center, where the black hole was slowly eating away at the remnants that escaped destruction. They would eventually be sucked in, but for now they gleamed blue and white. The dazzling radiance would have reflected prettily off of Skye's tears as she sat on the port rigging, except she was not crying.
Skye's face was dry. Her entire countenance was a blank mask of stone. Too many thoughts, too many feelings rushed through her head to sort out one that would allow her to cry. It was amazing how you could feel hopeful and respected one moment, and then all of a sudden, the person responsible for your reassured ease is gone, and you are left with a void. She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she did not notice Jim approaching from behind until he swung around the rigging and climbed up to sit next to her. She could sense his resentment of himself, the tenseness and disappointment he had. She had seen it on his face before, and it had remained. He was miserable, and she knew it was her fault.
Skye felt so guilty- she was the one who could have redeemed Jim, but she was so pathetic she couldn't even stand up for herself, let alone someone else. Jim sitting next to her only reiterated the fact that there was so much she could have done- to save Arrow, to save Jim, to save herself. She wanted to say something to make up for her weakness, at least for Jim's sake to ease his pain. He didn't deserve this guilt. She scoured her brain for something to say, but could only come out with two words.
"I'm sorry."
Jim turned to face her, resentment blazing in his eyes. Of course he knew nothing of what Skye was going through, but he did know that he didn't want her sympathy.
"How can you be sorry?" he asked in anger, "You're not the one who messed up! You didn't cause someone to, to-" He cut himself off, he wouldn't say it. He knew it, but saying it aloud, even to Skye, made it sound so much more...real. His silence only forced Skye's hastened words.
"Jim, you don't get it, it's not your fault!"
Jim couldn't stand it. He refused to let Skye deceive herself with her natural defense for him. Against his inclination, he spilled out his frustration.
"Like hell it wasn't my fault! Skye, you don't get it. I try to tell myself it wasn't my fault, but it was. I can't refuse to accept it, I screwed up, and it cost someone their life!" Jim replied. Skye saw his anxiety, heard the guilt-ridden pain racking his voice, and knew she couldn't let him do this to himself.
"It was Scroop, Jim. I saw him, he cut Arrow's lifeline," she blurted out. She had no idea where this unexpected courage to speak came from, but didn't care. Suddenly she found herself saying things she didn't even realize she had been thinking.
"It was Scroop, and I couldn't say anything because then I'll be next. It killed me to not be able to defend you, you know that? But he's evil, Jim, you have to understand, he'll do anything for revenge! He killed Mr. Arrow in cold blood and then blamed it on you! It's not your fault, its mine! I saw it, I was there, I couldn't help Arrow and I couldn't help you-" Skye's voice had risen in a crescendo of emotion, when Jim cut her off.
"Skye, you're making things up, Scroop didn't do it and he's not out to get you. Just because of that scuffle the first day doesn't mean-"
"Jim, they're pirates."
A beat.
"What?"
Skye drew a deep breath and continued, knowing she was already in too deep.
"They're pirates. Planning a mutiny. I heard them talking, all of them. Even..." she stopped. She knew what the next sentence would mean.
Jim inclined toward her, and asked, "What?"
Eyes downcast, she whispered, "Even...Silver. He was the leader."
Jim leaned back in disbelief.
"No. No, you're lying. It's not true, he would never-"
"Jim, it's true. Maybe he had nothing to do with Arrow, but I heard him talking about a plan. About us. About you." She hated doing this, but he had to know. It was too late to take it back.
Jim wouldn't believe it. "No. You're just jealous, you must be-"
"Maybe I am. Maybe I am jealous that the one person on this ship who would listen to me is now dead," Skye's voice rose and trembled slightly. "Maybe I'm jealous that you don't want me around anymore. But that still doesn't change the facts," she said, "and I'm warning you to be careful with Silver."
Jim's face set rigid. This was his best friend who had never lied to him in his life, but that fact was buried deep under his refusal to believe that his mentor was a pirate. He pushed the doubt to the back of his mind and disregarded it completely.
"Jim...Jim, I'm sorry." She touched his arm gently, but he shrugged her off.
Skye grimaced, and turned away from Jim. She couldn't stay here. They both needed time to cool down. Turning, she climbed up the rigging in anger, and sat in the crow's nest high above the deck, and away from Jim.
But even as the hot tears welled up behind her eyes, she refused to allow them fall. Jim could refuse to believe her, but she wouldn't let herself cry.
Below, Jim realized what he had done. He had pushed her away when she was the exact thing he needed, the thing he missed the most, the one comfort to him. He still blamed himself for everything, no matter what she would say, but despite all his rough talk, even just her presence was enough so he didn't feel completely alone. But now he had only his fevered self-accusations and growing frustration to accompany him.
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A good amount of time later Silver strolled over to the port rigging, where Jim still sat. Jim was cold, tired, and very much alone. He regretted arguing with Skye and his thoughts kept returning to it, making him more angry and depressed each time. In a futile attempt to calm his nerves, he had picked off a frayed piece of rope and was twisting it around his hands, which often came back to a simple clove hitch- the knot around the lifelines.
Silver looked up and saw the troubled boy determinedly avoiding looking at the deck. Silver puffed on his pipe and leaned against the rail. He spoke quietly, calmly to Jim, if to do no more than fill the silence.
"It weren't your fault, you know."
Jim sighed with the memory of his fight with Skye. Why couldn't Silver just leave him alone? It was his fault, everyone thought so, even the Captain, and he felt terrible. Wasn't that enough!?
"Why," Silver gestured with the pipe, "half the crew would be spinning in that black abyss if not for-"
Jim tossed the bit of rope out into space and leapt down to kneel on the railing.
"Look, don't you get it?!" He dropped to the deck, yelling now. "I screwed up! I mean for two seconds, I thought that I could do something right, but- aagh!" Jim let out a cry of passion and rage as everything Skye had said took final hold in his mind. She was right. She was right, and he was failing- at his duties, with the crew, and with Skye, his best friend. At the top of all his frustration, he missed her, and he couldn't think or concentrate or anything. He was hopeless, a failure, and had pushed everyone away, even the ones he needed most.
Jim turned away from Silver, too embarrassed to be like this. He sighed dejectedly and leaned against the main mast.
"Just forget it. Forget it," he said, his voice breaking with the vent of his emotion. He wiped his eye, and sagged against the pole.
Silver found it hard to believe that this promising young man could possibly not see his own worth. Silver reached out his hand, turned Jim around, and spoke clearly to get him to focus.
"Now you listen to me, James Hawkins." Silver could finally look Jim in the eye, and it was clear he was on the threshold of tears. Silver continued, speaking honestly, "You got the makings of greatness in ya', but you gotta' take the helm and chart your own course! Stick to it, no matter the squalls! And when the time comes you get the chance to really test the cut of your sails and show what you're made of, well..." Silver's voice brimmed with admiration and sincerity, "I hope I'm there, catching some of the light coming off ya' that day."
Silver smiled gently at Jim, who was speechless. If there was any doubt about the extent of Silver's caring for Jim, his respect and honesty, it was abolished with those few words. Jim sniffled, then gave in. He leaned his forehead against Silver's stomach, weeping softly.
Silver looked around, slightly surprised. However, he saw the coast was clear, and put his arms tentatively around Jim's trembling shoulders.
"There, there," he reassured Jim, "Lad, it's all right, Jimbo. It's all right." He closed his eyes for a moment. This was new, different. Giving paternal condolence to this boy, why, it was very satisfying to know he could help.
But it was dangerous.
Stepping back a bit uncomfortably, Silver cleared his throat and straightened his hat.
"Now, Jim, I, um, I best be getting about my watch," he jerked a thumb over his shoulder, "and you best be getting some shut-eye." He gave Jim a smile, and a gentle nudge towards the stairway leading beneath the deck.
Jim walked away, but just before he headed below, he turned, and gave Silver an appreciative smile. Silver, he believed in him, he had faith. Silver gave him hope, and above all, respected him as an individual. As a young man. Like he would a son.
Silver smiled weakly after Jim as he trudged down the flight of steps. The smile left, however, as Silver realized just what this connection they had could mean. Morph had floated over, and Silver spoke aloud to the cuddly pink blob.
"Getting in too deep here, Morphy. Next thing ya know, they'll be saying I've gone soft." Morph, not quite understanding the seriousness of such a situation, cuddled up against Silver, forcing him to chuckle. Silver turned away smiling to himself as he went about his watch. That boy, once you got through to him, John Silver decided, he could be downright likeable. He wasn't so bad at all.
* * *
Unaware to Silver, a spidery, red alien watched from his perch on the sail above.
He had heard everything.