IOHITF - WARNING!!! Contains Legolas-mocking!!!
E/N: Okay, I'm sorry. If you think it took me too long to update that is. *winks at certain majin Australian who's been nagging for days that I should update* I'm really so very truly sorry. Well, sort of, anyway. Anyway, I finally had the time to post again, which is a miracle because I'm in the middle of a test-week. Bear with me please! Damn school. Can't write properly there. Hope I will be able to update sooner next time...
Love, peace and a paperclip,
-xxx- Elvea
Disclaimer: I do not own anything that New Line Cinema or Tolkien Enterprises already owns *sobs* and I am not gaining any other profit out of writing this than (positive) reviews and a good laugh when I think of a new cruel way to annoy Legolas. So there.
This chapter is dedicated to... *dramatic pause* Endomiel, who still wants to kill me for writing a Leggo-mocking story. She also wants to kill me for naming him Legging-las. Oh well... anyway, I dedicate this chapter to her because she sits next to me in class and because I am sorry that I nearly had her faint by giving her a mental image of Legging-las dancing the Macarena in a Tinky-Winky outfit.
"" 'Come!' said Aragorn. (...) 'We will all be blindfolded, even Legolas(...).'
Gimli laughed suddenly. 'A merry troop of fools we shall look! (...) But I will be content, if only Legolas here shares my blindness.'
'I am an Elf and a kinsman here,' said Legolas, becoming angry in his turn.
'Now let us cry: "a plague on the stiff necks of Elves!" ' said Aragorn. "" (the Fellowship of the Ring, by J.R.R. Tolkien, book 2 - chapter 6; Lothlórien)
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Chapter 2 - On the road
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~*~ Elena's POV ~*~
I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and thanked the maid for showing me the way as I entered the stables. Three horses were saddled and ready to go. Wait a second... three? I rubbed my eyes again. There were still three horses. Elf-boy's white stallion, the smaller brown one for me, but who owned the pitch-black steed? The black horse turned his head to me. Blue eyes in a black head pierced right through me. Somehow the eyes seemed familiar to me. I shook the thought off. I've never seen the horse before. It must be from my morning-drowsiness.
'Is there a problem, Lady Elena?' Aragorn asked as he walked into the stables after me.
'I uhm... who's gonna ride the black one?' I asked bluntly.
'I am' Aragorn answered casually. 'By the way, you left your pack in your room, one of the maids just brought it for you' he tossed me my (back)pack, and I managed to catch it.
'Thanks. I kinda forgot that I have one now'
'Maybe you should go back to your room and see if you didn't leave your brain behind as well' I turned around. There was Legging-las, sorry I mean Legolas, leaning against a side of the doorway. He was wearing brown leggings and a green tunic (gee, what a surprise), and, as usual, he had annoyingly perfect hair.
'Yeah, good morning to you too, Elf-boy, and no I won't go back to my room because that would mean I'm stuck with you longer'
'You know, I hate to admit it, I really do, but I agree with you on that part. The sooner I get rid of you, the better'
'You guys scare me' Aragorn said. 'You've actually agreed on something. Maybe I should take you two to the Healers before we leave, just in case' he grinned.
'Ha ha. Very funny Aragorn' Legolas replied with annoyance in his voice. *Someone* woke up at the wrong side of the bed this morning.
'So how far are you coming with us, Lord Elessar?' I asked, hoping that Legolas's mood would get better if we'd just let him be for a while. I should've known better.
'The entire first day, maybe the second day as well. After that I'll turn back and go home' he answered.
'Why would you want to come with us, I mean, you're the king and surely you have duties and all...' I asked. He smiled understandingly.
'Arwen wanted me to make sure you two won't kill each other right away'
'Damn' I grinned. 'Now I have to wait at least two days before I get a chance of killing Legging-las' Legolas glared at me. Obviously not a morning person.
'Well then maybe it's not such a good idea after all to give you this' Aragorn said as he handed me a dagger, 'but since Arwen'll kill me if I don't give it to you...'
'You're letting her have a dagger- I mean... I CANNOT ALLOW HER TO KEEP A DAGGER!!!' Legolas shouted.
'What's the matter Elf-boy?' I said. 'Afraid that I'll kill you with it?' Legolas glared at me again. 'Don't worry. I won't do that. Yet. You may, however, wake up one morning to find all your hair cut off' Legolas charged at me, but Aragorn held him back.
'Let me go, I want to kill her!' Legolas shouted.
'Calm down Legolas!' Aragorn said.
'She started it, you saw it yourself! Now let me go!'
'You know, Lord Elessar, if you'd hold him just a little longer I'll have a great chance at cutting some of his hair off' I grinned again. In hindsight that was a bad move. A very bad move. Legolas broke free at once and charged at me again, managing to pin me to the ground. As I fell I dropped the dagger. He brought his face really close to mine.
'Don't ever mock me again' he hissed, 'Or else I'll-'
'You'll *what*, Elf-boy? Annoy me to death?'
'I hate to interrupt your little romantic moment over there' Aragorn suddenly said, 'but if we want to get somewhere today we really have to get going now' Legolas stood up, leaving me to get up by myself. And there I go thinking that all princes are well mannered. Not all of them, I guess. Aragorn held out his hand to me and helped me get up. Seems like some of royal blood do remember how to behave. As soon as I got to my feet Legolas started shouting at Aragorn.
'ROMANTIC MOMENT?!!! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!!!' he shouted. In the meantime I inconspicuously picked up the dagger.
'Well it looked pretty romantic to me when you were lying on top of her' Aragorn replied dryly.
'Oh please. I'd rather sleep with an orc than with *her*' he said scornfully. Excuse me? How dare he compare me to an orc?!
'Well it wouldn't be much of a difference if I'd sleep with an orc in stead of you, now would it?' I replied dryly. Legolas hissed something through gritted teeth, then suddenly he leaped onto his horse and rode off. Aragorn followed him right away, and after some very clumsy moments I rode off to catch up with them. How are you supposed to mount a horse with a huge pack on your back?! I never thought Middle-earth would annoy me so much.
~*~ Aragorn's POV ~*~
The sun set to our left as we rode down the old North-South road. To our left, underneath the setting sun, were the eaves of the Grey Forest, and beyond that, the Drúadan Forest. Legolas and Elena would follow this road until they got passed the Gap of Rohan, and then they would go directly north from there on. If they don't kill each other before that time, that is. They hadn't said a single word directly to each other ever since this morning and the tension was getting worse by the second.
'Lord Elessar, could you please tell Legging-las that he's a stuck-up jerk?' Elena asked.
'Aragorn, could you please tell the peasant to shut up?' Legolas said in reply. They glared at each other. Again. Seriously, things have been like this all day and I've lost count of their death-glares somewhere this morning when they reached three hundred and something.
'We should find a place for our camp, it will be dark very soon' I said, hoping to get their attention. It proved in vain, like all my other attempts today. I swear, if they don't kill each other soon, I'll be happy to lend a hand.
'Aragorn, could you please tell-' Legolas started.
'No I won't tell Lady Elena whatever it is that you have to say to her!' I snapped. 'If you want to let her know something then just say it yourself! Say something to each other, or kill each other for all I care if you hate each other so much, but for Eru's sake, DO SOMETHING!!!'
'Oh' Legolas said, slightly taken aback. I don't think I ever got mad at him before. Not this mad at any rate. 'I'm sorry'
'Funny, isn't it, that Elf-boy has no problem whatsoever apologizing to you but can't apologize to me' Elena said to me.
'That's because Aragorn is the King of Gondor and a close friend of mine, and you are just a mere peasant, not to mention a prisoner' Legolas said to her. She glared at him. Well at least they've gotten back to direct hate again.
'You know, in my world-' Elena started, but Legolas cut her off.
'In my world...' he imitated her, but, surprisingly enough, she ignored him instead of sending him the usual death-glare.
'In my world' she repeated, 'everybody has equal rights. Kings do not stand above peasants, and men do not rule over women'
'That's why I like *my* world so much better' Legolas grinned. This time he didn't get Elena's usual death-glare either. She sent him a death-glare so vicious that *I* almost fell of my horse. It didn't go unnoticed.
'Is something wrong Aragorn?' Legolas asked. If he was in any way affected by the glare Elena just sent him, he didn't show it.
'Yes. I'm getting weary of your constant quarreling with Lady Elena and I'd like to get some rest now' I stated dryly. Both of their faces turned slightly red. I grinned. What?
'I know a place not far from here where we could take a short rest' Legolas said.
'And how far away would that be? Thirty miles?' Elena said. Okay, I definitely missed something here...
'Five minutes from here' Legolas replied. They had another one of their deadliest death-glare contests. Will they ever learn?
'That's what you said last time'
'Well it would have taken five minutes if *you* hadn't ridden the wrong way'
'If you'd just-' I interrupted Elena at this point.
'Just... let Legolas lead us there, okay?' Legolas pulled a face of triumph as Elena started sulking. I sighed. Am I really the only one tired of their constant arguing?
Legolas led his horse into the forest, apparently following some sort of path. If there was one. It was completely unknown to me. Hell, you could hardly call it a path, it's more like a uh... a uh... bunch of trees growing at random occasionally giving just enough way to lead your horse through? After several minutes we reached a clearing amidst the trees, water could be heard somewhere nearby.
~*~ Elena's POV ~*~
'I told you so' the arrogance in his words as Legolas spoke them to me practically took visible form, I could almost *touch* them. God I hate that guy. I glared at him. Aragorn rolled his eyes and let out a sigh of annoyance. I glared at him too. Why? I just felt like it, that's why. I think today's the National Day of Death-glares or something like that.
I dismounted. We hadn't taken a single break all day even though I had repeatedly asked for one, those saddles literally get a pain in the ass after a couple of hours. Of course Elf-boy refused to take a break, because "Elves don't need as much breaks as mortals". And Aragorn used to be a Ranger so he's probably used to conditions like these. Aragorn dismounted and started stretching his legs, arms, back... you get the idea. Ok, so I was wrong about Aragorn, so what? At least I don't have to admit it to Elf- boy.
'Aragorn, you set up the camp. I'll go and collect firewood. Peasant... sit' Legolas commanded. Who the hell does he think he is anyway? The Prince of Mirkwood or something? Okay, never mind, forget I ever said that... anyway he can't just command me around like I'm a dog!
'Who put you in charge?' I said.
'I did' he stated dryly, sending me another one of those arrogant looks he's so good at. Stupid Elf-boy.
'Well I'm not gonna stay here, I heard water nearby and I'd like a bath' I sent him a challenging look.
'No you're not going to. You might just run off' Legolas replied. Evil Elf.
'Well maybe *you* haven't heard of hygiene but *I* have and I'm not planning on waiting for a bath until we get to Rivendell'
'You're not-'
'Legolas, I'm here too, I can keep a watch on her' Aragorn interrupted. Go Estel, go Estel... I think. I stuck out my tongue to Legolas, Aragorn's obviously on my side. Legolas glared at me, then turned around and walked off into the forest. Ha! I win! I win! Neneneneneneh! I took a towel from my pack.
'This way' Aragorn said. I followed him to a little stream not far from the camp. Aragorn turned around.
'I thought you were supposed to keep a watch on me?'
'It's very rude to do such a thing while a lady bathes'
'Won't Legolas get mad at you for leaving me alone?'
Aragorn grinned.
'He didn't say from *where* I should keep a watch...' he walked away. I like him. Not in *that* way, but it's just that he treats me like an actual person, like I'm equal to him, a queen or something. Legolas could learn so much from him. But then again, Elf-boy's pretty much a lost case.
~*~ Legolas's POV ~*~
I picked up another fallen branch from the forest floor. I had collected quite a lot of wood already, even though I'd only been gone for about five minutes. I leaned down to pick up another branch, but the pile of wood in my arms had grown so big that it threatened to fall if I leaned down further. I decided to return to the camp first and see if there was anything else to do. As I walked back to the camp an alarming feeling started growing in the back of my head. I broke into a run.
As I approached the clearing I saw Aragorn moving around the glade, setting up things for the camp. All was fine then. I slowed my pace to regular walking. I stepped onto the grass of the glade, dropping the firewood in my arms as I realized what was wrong. Elena was nowhere to be seen.
'Aragorn, where is my prisoner?' I asked, picking up the wood again in the meantime.
'She's-'
'Don't tell me you let her get away'
'Hey, I'm not the one that lets important prisoners escape'
'If you're referring to the incident with Gollum, I was not with the guards at that time. Had I been there, it would never have happened'
'Of course not' Aragorn replied in an agreeing tone, even though his face said something else.
'I thought you were my friend Aragorn'
'I am your friend!'
'You don't act like it'
'And why's that? Because I treat Lady Elena better than pleases you?' he said sharply. I didn't reply immediately, knowing he had said exactly what had been bothering me all along.
'She's my prisoner Aragorn, and in no way that I can see a lady'
'I just think you're overreacting in the whole situation, that's all. She's nowhere near as bad as you say she is, although I must admit that she can have a really bad temper'
'So where is she now? You didn't set her free, did you?'
'No I didn't. I suggest that you look at the horses. You may notice that all three of them are there' I looked in the direction of our horses. Aragorn was right, they were all there. 'Besides, a girl like her couldn't make it on her own in the wild, imagine what would happen if she'd encounter a band of orcs!'
'Orcs? Oh I can imagine that alright! They'd flee in terror before her if she even gives the slightest indication of her temper' I replied. Aragorn tried to keep a straight face, then he chuckled and shortly after started laughing uncontrollably. It didn't take long before the both of us were practically rolling on the floor laughing.
~*~
About thirty minutes had passed since I'd gotten back to the camp, and in that time Aragorn and I had talked about the situation and he had managed to convince me that I should give Elena a chance. After that we had set up the rest of the camp together and made a nice fire. We were now sitting in front of it, roasting some bread and meat for dinner.
Footsteps distracted us from the food. Elena walked into the camp, fully dressed, a towel wrapped around her hair. She walked to a tree, took the towel off and hung it over one of the branches. After that she walked towards the fire and sat down next to Aragorn.
'Something smells good, what is it?' she asked. I smiled.
'I'm making us dinner'
'Well in that case... Aragorn, you can go first. He's probably poisoned it' she said. Aragorn grinned.
'Oh no, ladies first' he said. I tried not to grin, but failed. She glared at us, but still accepted the bread and meat that Aragorn handed her. She thoughtfully looked at it.
'You might want to eat it as well' I said.
'How come you're not eating?!' she said angrily. Oh come on! She doesn't actually think that I'm trying to poison her, does she?
'My food isn't ready yet' I answered. She sent me a suspecting look, then took a small bite of the bread. I made a gurgling sound, as if I'd been poisoned and was busy dying. She glared at me and silently stood up, then walked over to me.
'Drop dead, asshole' she said as she crumbled the bread above my head.
'You know, it's not that I mind doing that' I replied, 'but since I'm immortal, technically, I can't drop dead' I grinned. She let out a frustrated cry, then stamped over to the blankets and dragged one away to the other side of camp, while mumbling something that sounded very much like "We'll see how you don't drop dead with twenty arrows stuck in your chest". Yeah, whatever.
~*~ Elena's POV ~*~
I woke up because my back was killing me. I opened my eyes, remembering that because of Legolas's behavior I'd taken my blanket to the other side of the camp. That part consisted of a mainly rocky bottom. I didn't realize until later on, but when I found out about it I was too proud to drag my blanket back to Aragorn and Elf-boy. That my pride caused me an aching back and a practically sleepless night was just tough luck. I sat up straight, stretched myself out and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. I looked around the camp. Aragorn was still asleep, but Legolas was... was he brushing his hair? I stood up, walked to him and sat down next to him.
'Good morning Legolas' I said innocently. He looked at me in amazement, then replied.
'Good morning'
'So how're ya doin'?'
'I'm fine'
'You sure?'
'Yes I am' he said, beginning to get annoyed. 'Why are you asking me these questions?'
'Well, because it's polite to ask those things back home plus I was wondrin' if you're suffering from a bad hair day'
'Of course I don't have a bad hair day! I'm an Elf and therefore I have perfect hair by nature!'
'So why are you brushing your hair then?' I asked. Legolas pulled a long face. I grinned. Mission accomplished.
~*~ Legolas's POV ~*~
My eyes followed Aragorn as he rode away from us. It was late in the afternoon of the second day since we left Minas Tirith and it was time for him to return home and fulfill his duties there. For a moment I wished that he wasn't the king of Gondor but just my friend and that he could accompany me all the way to Rivendell, if only to be a support in my "war" against Elena. But alas, he was the king and had to return home. WHAT AM I THINKING?!!! I'm a bloody prince! I don't need Aragorn's support against some annoying peasant!
I glanced sideways at Elena. She noticed it and glared at me, it was becoming her standard response to everything I did or said. I sighed, seventy days at least before we would reach Rivendell, and seeing how things were between us right now, and considering the possibility that it would only get worse, seventy days in the dungeons of Barad-dûr sounded like a nice holiday compared to my situation. Too bad they wrecked the place down.
~*~
'We should start searching for a place to make camp' I said that evening.
'*We*? Are you sure? I mean, I'm only a stupid peasant anyway so I'm probably also too stupid to recognize a good spot when I see one' she replied sarcastically. I decided to ignore her and not to reply to her words even though she was making it so easy for me to mock her. I'm not gonna do it. Am not. Am not. Oh bloody hell, just this once...
'At least you're not too stupid to admit that you're stupid' I said. Once again she glared at me. Aragorn was right, she did have something lady-like after all. I should give her a title. Lady Death-glare sounds fitting.
'And Tolkien made him look like a hero' she mumbled. What is she talking about?
'Tolkien? What's that?' I asked. She didn't answer. 'Well?'
'TolkienisapersonandthatsallImgonnatell' she said at once. Come again?
'Could you repeat that? I asked.
'You forgot to say the magic word' a mischievous grin crept onto her face. I decided to play dumb.
'What magic word?'
'I don't know, you're the Elf, you tell me'
'How come, if you don't know what the magic word is, that you do know it exists?'
'Female intuition' she replied dryly.
'Tell me!'
'Did I hear something or are my ears deceiving me?' she said to no one in particular. *Add some very nasty and also very censored curses* Why doesn't she just say it?! She's doing it on purpose, I just know it, and I don't want to give in! But I *need* to know who or what this Tolkien is!
'Tell me...' I said, 'please...' the last word was barely hearable, but I was sure she heard it.
'Could you say that louder please, I don't think I heard it correctly' she answered, eyes twinkling. Why that little...
'Please!' I said through gritted teeth, clenching my fists. 'Happy now?!'
'Couldn't be better' she grinned.
'So are you gonna tell me now?'
'I don't think so, you didn't really ask very polite' her grin grew even wider. Okay, that's it! Now she's getting it! I leapt of Melda towards her, and pulled her off her horse. She let out a cry of astonishment, then quickly recovered and tried to hit me. After a very short struggle I managed to pin her to the ground. As if mortal women are any match for me.
~*~ Elena's POV ~*~
Okay, so let me get this straight. I'm sitting on my horse, enjoying my victory, when suddenly Elf-boy decides to go *amazone* and pulls me off my horse. I tried to punch him, but he was faster and grabbed my wrist. Half a second later he'd gotten hold of my other wrist too and before I knew it I was pinned under him. Damn Elven agility.
'You have five seconds to let go!' I hissed, failing to suppress my anger.
'Or *what*? I don't think you're in the position to threaten anyone right now' he said, not even bothering to hide the amusement in his voice. I tried to break free, but he was too strong.
'But then again, you don't think much at all, do you?' I replied in the easiest way I could think of. Anger flashed onto his face and didn't leave it. God, right now I wish that I that I was a Mary Sue like Buffy so I could seriously kick his ass. But noooooooo, I had to be one of those imperfect human beings. Somebody up there must really hate me. He brought his face annoyingly close to mine again.
'Listen up and listen carefully, peasant' he hissed, 'you're gonna tell me everything right now or I'll forget that I'm noble for a moment and let you feel my anger!' the look in his eyes scared me, it really did. In an instant I knew what pure wrath looks like and trust me, it ain't pretty. And I don't like the whole *feel* thing either. I could take it in several ways and not a single one of them had nice consequences for me.
'Feel this!' I said as I suddenly kicked up with my knee and hit him in the groin with all my strength. He made one of those nice "ugh"-sounds. I pushed him off of me and got up. Mortal or immortal, they all have the same weakness. Thank God for self-defense. Who knows what he could have done?
As Legolas was busy being in great pain, I looked around. I was standing amidst a clearing in the forest, on the west side bordered by a small stream, and on the other sides by some kind of tall trees. The soil was exactly soft enough to sleep on, and it was covered with mostly grass and an occasional flower. Don't ask me the names of flowers, because I already have problems telling the differences between daisies and roses.
Legolas finally managed to get up and walk over to me. The look on his face told me that he was pretty damn angry. And still in great pain.
'You are going to pay for what you just did'
'Am I? You can't say I didn't warn you. It was your own damn fault to start mocking me before I could finish my phrase' I replied dryly. He glared at me, then turned around to the horses, who were now drinking from the stream.
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E/N: Finally got the new chapter all done. Hope you enjoyed it. As usual, feedback appreciated, constructive criticism will be welcomed and flames will be sent to Denethor.
-xxx- Elvea
electric muffin: *does little silly happy dance* Yay! Another happy reader! I'm so happy that I'm not the only one enjoying this story. I'm getting addicted to writing it. Is that a bad thing? Well anyway, I hope you enjoyed this!
ithinkineedanewname: Glad that you also like this story. I really enjoy writing it, and I'm glad that there's also others. (Even my two annoying siblings like it (read: they're gonna kill me if I don't update soon) and they usually start flaming me as soon as I say Lord of the Rings... wonder what would happen if I'd turn them into LotR fans). I'll bring another update ASAP. On how they're gonna survive... well, not without a hell of a lot pain (mainly on Legolas'' side, most likely) and a lot of verbal sparring. But that's a good thing right?
Oasisrocker: Well, I kept writing, hope the suspense didn't kill you. If it did... okay, never mind I'm not gonna write down the stupid thing that just popped up into my head.
?: |:o) Well, I kept going, hope you liked the new chappie.
SeaCucumber: Cute, lol! Well, Elena isn't all that cute, and I can't imagine you find my impression of Legolas all that cute either... it could just be me though...
Ellie Maxwell: Another one of you I'll-die-of-suspense-if-you-don't-update- soon people. Don't get me wrong; it's a good thing... I think. I figured it means you like the fic so let's just keep it at being a good thing. Glad you like the Legolas torture, and that you don't plan on killing me, unlike *someone*... *cough*Endomiel*cough*
CocoBeans: *blushes* Good thing you think it's funny. It's supposed to be. Yeah, Eldarion's cute. But he sure has some strange ideas...
Cattaria: *blushes again* Favorites list? That's so cool! Glad you're also one of the people who likes the Legolas torture. I've noticed almost everyone's cheering for Elena |:o) but why in God's name would you cheer for the Diabolical PlotBunnies of Doom(tm)? They're evil! They want me to write an essay on why Frodo and Sam are gay! They're not gay! It's mental cruelty I tell you! My Preciousss Frodo... *breaks into sobs*
;): Glad that you can laugh from my story. Hope I didn't cause you any injuries (from falling off your chair for instance) because I do not take responsibility for that. Read at own risk, lol. Hope you like it. I know, silly response to nice review...
adelaide e: Lol! Your review sent me to the floor laughing (and it sent Endomiel trying to track you down so she can kill you)! Stinky proud arse Legolas... lol. I think you misunderstood one thing though. I don't hate Eldarion. He's too cute to hate. I just suspect that he might be a PlotBunny in disguise, already trying to mess up my plot. Well I won't let it happen. Was this good enough revenge? Couldn't superglue Elf-boy to his saddle, Elena has nothing from her own world with her. I'll probably think of something worse and far too evil though. More verbal sparring's also on the way |:o) (can you guess I like weird clown smiley's?)
CreativeButterflyWhichCan'tFLy: Don't die if I don't update soon enough! I'll have no readers left! What am I supposed to do then? Besides, if you die you'll never know how it ends... believe me if I say I'm doing the best I can!
Black Pearl: So you pay more attention than just shallow reading, huh? That's a good thing. People who do that understand the story better and notice things that would go unnoticed otherwise (which can be a bad thing because those things are there for a reason). Compliments to you. Hope you enjoyed the new chapter!
Seal: What am I to say? DIE LEGOLAS!!! DIE!!! DIE!!! Lol. Don't really want him to die. Just want him to be in great pain. Wait, I know! SUFFER LEGOLAS!!! SUFFER!!! That better? I hope so...
Yavanna: Now now, don't go all over-complimenting me, you just might manage to get my ego to be even bigger than Legolas's... *gasps* That would be seriously bad, wouldn't it? And a hell of an accomplishment... geez, imagine that... another ego of such an ungodly size... what I'm saying is, please don't kill me if you found that you waited too long. I have a life too you know? *snickers* Well, sort of, anyway. TTFN!!!
TRUE STORY!!! HOW ENDOMIEL AND I DISCOVERED MORIA IN OUR SCHOOL-BASEMENT!!!
I was walking in school with Endy and we went to the basement (yes our school has a basement and yes we were not supposed to be there) and when we got there, it really really stank. As you may understand, we started searching for the body right away, hoping to find our mathematics-teacher dead (yes he is an @$$****). The school basement is really dark, dusty and... with pillars and everything (old building, you see). So anyway, we couldn't find the body (unfortunately the mathematics @$$**** is still alive) and I sat down in a chair to rest for a moment. I put my arm on the table... DOOM... the table does. We look at each other. I repeat it. DOOM... BOOM... DOOM... it sounded like the Balrog's drums. We look at the location, the darkness... we smell the awful stench of something rotting long forgotten... then we realize it. Moria is in the basement of our school!!!
But the story doesn't end there... we took out our little map of the school, and held it next to the map of Middle-earth. We noticed that Moria was in the central basement of our school, and that it was in the center of the map of Middle-earth. Going southeast from Moria, you will find Mordor. Going southeast from the basement we found... *dramatic pause(can you guess I like dramatic pauses?)* the Staff Section (SS). And then it hit us. The teachers are Orcs! Our mathematics teacher is Sauron! He must be destroyed! We must fight him! We have already formed a Fellowship of brave and worthy girls. I will keep you informed in the dealings with Sauron.
E/N: Okay, I'm sorry. If you think it took me too long to update that is. *winks at certain majin Australian who's been nagging for days that I should update* I'm really so very truly sorry. Well, sort of, anyway. Anyway, I finally had the time to post again, which is a miracle because I'm in the middle of a test-week. Bear with me please! Damn school. Can't write properly there. Hope I will be able to update sooner next time...
Love, peace and a paperclip,
-xxx- Elvea
Disclaimer: I do not own anything that New Line Cinema or Tolkien Enterprises already owns *sobs* and I am not gaining any other profit out of writing this than (positive) reviews and a good laugh when I think of a new cruel way to annoy Legolas. So there.
This chapter is dedicated to... *dramatic pause* Endomiel, who still wants to kill me for writing a Leggo-mocking story. She also wants to kill me for naming him Legging-las. Oh well... anyway, I dedicate this chapter to her because she sits next to me in class and because I am sorry that I nearly had her faint by giving her a mental image of Legging-las dancing the Macarena in a Tinky-Winky outfit.
"" 'Come!' said Aragorn. (...) 'We will all be blindfolded, even Legolas(...).'
Gimli laughed suddenly. 'A merry troop of fools we shall look! (...) But I will be content, if only Legolas here shares my blindness.'
'I am an Elf and a kinsman here,' said Legolas, becoming angry in his turn.
'Now let us cry: "a plague on the stiff necks of Elves!" ' said Aragorn. "" (the Fellowship of the Ring, by J.R.R. Tolkien, book 2 - chapter 6; Lothlórien)
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Chapter 2 - On the road
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~*~ Elena's POV ~*~
I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and thanked the maid for showing me the way as I entered the stables. Three horses were saddled and ready to go. Wait a second... three? I rubbed my eyes again. There were still three horses. Elf-boy's white stallion, the smaller brown one for me, but who owned the pitch-black steed? The black horse turned his head to me. Blue eyes in a black head pierced right through me. Somehow the eyes seemed familiar to me. I shook the thought off. I've never seen the horse before. It must be from my morning-drowsiness.
'Is there a problem, Lady Elena?' Aragorn asked as he walked into the stables after me.
'I uhm... who's gonna ride the black one?' I asked bluntly.
'I am' Aragorn answered casually. 'By the way, you left your pack in your room, one of the maids just brought it for you' he tossed me my (back)pack, and I managed to catch it.
'Thanks. I kinda forgot that I have one now'
'Maybe you should go back to your room and see if you didn't leave your brain behind as well' I turned around. There was Legging-las, sorry I mean Legolas, leaning against a side of the doorway. He was wearing brown leggings and a green tunic (gee, what a surprise), and, as usual, he had annoyingly perfect hair.
'Yeah, good morning to you too, Elf-boy, and no I won't go back to my room because that would mean I'm stuck with you longer'
'You know, I hate to admit it, I really do, but I agree with you on that part. The sooner I get rid of you, the better'
'You guys scare me' Aragorn said. 'You've actually agreed on something. Maybe I should take you two to the Healers before we leave, just in case' he grinned.
'Ha ha. Very funny Aragorn' Legolas replied with annoyance in his voice. *Someone* woke up at the wrong side of the bed this morning.
'So how far are you coming with us, Lord Elessar?' I asked, hoping that Legolas's mood would get better if we'd just let him be for a while. I should've known better.
'The entire first day, maybe the second day as well. After that I'll turn back and go home' he answered.
'Why would you want to come with us, I mean, you're the king and surely you have duties and all...' I asked. He smiled understandingly.
'Arwen wanted me to make sure you two won't kill each other right away'
'Damn' I grinned. 'Now I have to wait at least two days before I get a chance of killing Legging-las' Legolas glared at me. Obviously not a morning person.
'Well then maybe it's not such a good idea after all to give you this' Aragorn said as he handed me a dagger, 'but since Arwen'll kill me if I don't give it to you...'
'You're letting her have a dagger- I mean... I CANNOT ALLOW HER TO KEEP A DAGGER!!!' Legolas shouted.
'What's the matter Elf-boy?' I said. 'Afraid that I'll kill you with it?' Legolas glared at me again. 'Don't worry. I won't do that. Yet. You may, however, wake up one morning to find all your hair cut off' Legolas charged at me, but Aragorn held him back.
'Let me go, I want to kill her!' Legolas shouted.
'Calm down Legolas!' Aragorn said.
'She started it, you saw it yourself! Now let me go!'
'You know, Lord Elessar, if you'd hold him just a little longer I'll have a great chance at cutting some of his hair off' I grinned again. In hindsight that was a bad move. A very bad move. Legolas broke free at once and charged at me again, managing to pin me to the ground. As I fell I dropped the dagger. He brought his face really close to mine.
'Don't ever mock me again' he hissed, 'Or else I'll-'
'You'll *what*, Elf-boy? Annoy me to death?'
'I hate to interrupt your little romantic moment over there' Aragorn suddenly said, 'but if we want to get somewhere today we really have to get going now' Legolas stood up, leaving me to get up by myself. And there I go thinking that all princes are well mannered. Not all of them, I guess. Aragorn held out his hand to me and helped me get up. Seems like some of royal blood do remember how to behave. As soon as I got to my feet Legolas started shouting at Aragorn.
'ROMANTIC MOMENT?!!! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!!!' he shouted. In the meantime I inconspicuously picked up the dagger.
'Well it looked pretty romantic to me when you were lying on top of her' Aragorn replied dryly.
'Oh please. I'd rather sleep with an orc than with *her*' he said scornfully. Excuse me? How dare he compare me to an orc?!
'Well it wouldn't be much of a difference if I'd sleep with an orc in stead of you, now would it?' I replied dryly. Legolas hissed something through gritted teeth, then suddenly he leaped onto his horse and rode off. Aragorn followed him right away, and after some very clumsy moments I rode off to catch up with them. How are you supposed to mount a horse with a huge pack on your back?! I never thought Middle-earth would annoy me so much.
~*~ Aragorn's POV ~*~
The sun set to our left as we rode down the old North-South road. To our left, underneath the setting sun, were the eaves of the Grey Forest, and beyond that, the Drúadan Forest. Legolas and Elena would follow this road until they got passed the Gap of Rohan, and then they would go directly north from there on. If they don't kill each other before that time, that is. They hadn't said a single word directly to each other ever since this morning and the tension was getting worse by the second.
'Lord Elessar, could you please tell Legging-las that he's a stuck-up jerk?' Elena asked.
'Aragorn, could you please tell the peasant to shut up?' Legolas said in reply. They glared at each other. Again. Seriously, things have been like this all day and I've lost count of their death-glares somewhere this morning when they reached three hundred and something.
'We should find a place for our camp, it will be dark very soon' I said, hoping to get their attention. It proved in vain, like all my other attempts today. I swear, if they don't kill each other soon, I'll be happy to lend a hand.
'Aragorn, could you please tell-' Legolas started.
'No I won't tell Lady Elena whatever it is that you have to say to her!' I snapped. 'If you want to let her know something then just say it yourself! Say something to each other, or kill each other for all I care if you hate each other so much, but for Eru's sake, DO SOMETHING!!!'
'Oh' Legolas said, slightly taken aback. I don't think I ever got mad at him before. Not this mad at any rate. 'I'm sorry'
'Funny, isn't it, that Elf-boy has no problem whatsoever apologizing to you but can't apologize to me' Elena said to me.
'That's because Aragorn is the King of Gondor and a close friend of mine, and you are just a mere peasant, not to mention a prisoner' Legolas said to her. She glared at him. Well at least they've gotten back to direct hate again.
'You know, in my world-' Elena started, but Legolas cut her off.
'In my world...' he imitated her, but, surprisingly enough, she ignored him instead of sending him the usual death-glare.
'In my world' she repeated, 'everybody has equal rights. Kings do not stand above peasants, and men do not rule over women'
'That's why I like *my* world so much better' Legolas grinned. This time he didn't get Elena's usual death-glare either. She sent him a death-glare so vicious that *I* almost fell of my horse. It didn't go unnoticed.
'Is something wrong Aragorn?' Legolas asked. If he was in any way affected by the glare Elena just sent him, he didn't show it.
'Yes. I'm getting weary of your constant quarreling with Lady Elena and I'd like to get some rest now' I stated dryly. Both of their faces turned slightly red. I grinned. What?
'I know a place not far from here where we could take a short rest' Legolas said.
'And how far away would that be? Thirty miles?' Elena said. Okay, I definitely missed something here...
'Five minutes from here' Legolas replied. They had another one of their deadliest death-glare contests. Will they ever learn?
'That's what you said last time'
'Well it would have taken five minutes if *you* hadn't ridden the wrong way'
'If you'd just-' I interrupted Elena at this point.
'Just... let Legolas lead us there, okay?' Legolas pulled a face of triumph as Elena started sulking. I sighed. Am I really the only one tired of their constant arguing?
Legolas led his horse into the forest, apparently following some sort of path. If there was one. It was completely unknown to me. Hell, you could hardly call it a path, it's more like a uh... a uh... bunch of trees growing at random occasionally giving just enough way to lead your horse through? After several minutes we reached a clearing amidst the trees, water could be heard somewhere nearby.
~*~ Elena's POV ~*~
'I told you so' the arrogance in his words as Legolas spoke them to me practically took visible form, I could almost *touch* them. God I hate that guy. I glared at him. Aragorn rolled his eyes and let out a sigh of annoyance. I glared at him too. Why? I just felt like it, that's why. I think today's the National Day of Death-glares or something like that.
I dismounted. We hadn't taken a single break all day even though I had repeatedly asked for one, those saddles literally get a pain in the ass after a couple of hours. Of course Elf-boy refused to take a break, because "Elves don't need as much breaks as mortals". And Aragorn used to be a Ranger so he's probably used to conditions like these. Aragorn dismounted and started stretching his legs, arms, back... you get the idea. Ok, so I was wrong about Aragorn, so what? At least I don't have to admit it to Elf- boy.
'Aragorn, you set up the camp. I'll go and collect firewood. Peasant... sit' Legolas commanded. Who the hell does he think he is anyway? The Prince of Mirkwood or something? Okay, never mind, forget I ever said that... anyway he can't just command me around like I'm a dog!
'Who put you in charge?' I said.
'I did' he stated dryly, sending me another one of those arrogant looks he's so good at. Stupid Elf-boy.
'Well I'm not gonna stay here, I heard water nearby and I'd like a bath' I sent him a challenging look.
'No you're not going to. You might just run off' Legolas replied. Evil Elf.
'Well maybe *you* haven't heard of hygiene but *I* have and I'm not planning on waiting for a bath until we get to Rivendell'
'You're not-'
'Legolas, I'm here too, I can keep a watch on her' Aragorn interrupted. Go Estel, go Estel... I think. I stuck out my tongue to Legolas, Aragorn's obviously on my side. Legolas glared at me, then turned around and walked off into the forest. Ha! I win! I win! Neneneneneneh! I took a towel from my pack.
'This way' Aragorn said. I followed him to a little stream not far from the camp. Aragorn turned around.
'I thought you were supposed to keep a watch on me?'
'It's very rude to do such a thing while a lady bathes'
'Won't Legolas get mad at you for leaving me alone?'
Aragorn grinned.
'He didn't say from *where* I should keep a watch...' he walked away. I like him. Not in *that* way, but it's just that he treats me like an actual person, like I'm equal to him, a queen or something. Legolas could learn so much from him. But then again, Elf-boy's pretty much a lost case.
~*~ Legolas's POV ~*~
I picked up another fallen branch from the forest floor. I had collected quite a lot of wood already, even though I'd only been gone for about five minutes. I leaned down to pick up another branch, but the pile of wood in my arms had grown so big that it threatened to fall if I leaned down further. I decided to return to the camp first and see if there was anything else to do. As I walked back to the camp an alarming feeling started growing in the back of my head. I broke into a run.
As I approached the clearing I saw Aragorn moving around the glade, setting up things for the camp. All was fine then. I slowed my pace to regular walking. I stepped onto the grass of the glade, dropping the firewood in my arms as I realized what was wrong. Elena was nowhere to be seen.
'Aragorn, where is my prisoner?' I asked, picking up the wood again in the meantime.
'She's-'
'Don't tell me you let her get away'
'Hey, I'm not the one that lets important prisoners escape'
'If you're referring to the incident with Gollum, I was not with the guards at that time. Had I been there, it would never have happened'
'Of course not' Aragorn replied in an agreeing tone, even though his face said something else.
'I thought you were my friend Aragorn'
'I am your friend!'
'You don't act like it'
'And why's that? Because I treat Lady Elena better than pleases you?' he said sharply. I didn't reply immediately, knowing he had said exactly what had been bothering me all along.
'She's my prisoner Aragorn, and in no way that I can see a lady'
'I just think you're overreacting in the whole situation, that's all. She's nowhere near as bad as you say she is, although I must admit that she can have a really bad temper'
'So where is she now? You didn't set her free, did you?'
'No I didn't. I suggest that you look at the horses. You may notice that all three of them are there' I looked in the direction of our horses. Aragorn was right, they were all there. 'Besides, a girl like her couldn't make it on her own in the wild, imagine what would happen if she'd encounter a band of orcs!'
'Orcs? Oh I can imagine that alright! They'd flee in terror before her if she even gives the slightest indication of her temper' I replied. Aragorn tried to keep a straight face, then he chuckled and shortly after started laughing uncontrollably. It didn't take long before the both of us were practically rolling on the floor laughing.
~*~
About thirty minutes had passed since I'd gotten back to the camp, and in that time Aragorn and I had talked about the situation and he had managed to convince me that I should give Elena a chance. After that we had set up the rest of the camp together and made a nice fire. We were now sitting in front of it, roasting some bread and meat for dinner.
Footsteps distracted us from the food. Elena walked into the camp, fully dressed, a towel wrapped around her hair. She walked to a tree, took the towel off and hung it over one of the branches. After that she walked towards the fire and sat down next to Aragorn.
'Something smells good, what is it?' she asked. I smiled.
'I'm making us dinner'
'Well in that case... Aragorn, you can go first. He's probably poisoned it' she said. Aragorn grinned.
'Oh no, ladies first' he said. I tried not to grin, but failed. She glared at us, but still accepted the bread and meat that Aragorn handed her. She thoughtfully looked at it.
'You might want to eat it as well' I said.
'How come you're not eating?!' she said angrily. Oh come on! She doesn't actually think that I'm trying to poison her, does she?
'My food isn't ready yet' I answered. She sent me a suspecting look, then took a small bite of the bread. I made a gurgling sound, as if I'd been poisoned and was busy dying. She glared at me and silently stood up, then walked over to me.
'Drop dead, asshole' she said as she crumbled the bread above my head.
'You know, it's not that I mind doing that' I replied, 'but since I'm immortal, technically, I can't drop dead' I grinned. She let out a frustrated cry, then stamped over to the blankets and dragged one away to the other side of camp, while mumbling something that sounded very much like "We'll see how you don't drop dead with twenty arrows stuck in your chest". Yeah, whatever.
~*~ Elena's POV ~*~
I woke up because my back was killing me. I opened my eyes, remembering that because of Legolas's behavior I'd taken my blanket to the other side of the camp. That part consisted of a mainly rocky bottom. I didn't realize until later on, but when I found out about it I was too proud to drag my blanket back to Aragorn and Elf-boy. That my pride caused me an aching back and a practically sleepless night was just tough luck. I sat up straight, stretched myself out and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. I looked around the camp. Aragorn was still asleep, but Legolas was... was he brushing his hair? I stood up, walked to him and sat down next to him.
'Good morning Legolas' I said innocently. He looked at me in amazement, then replied.
'Good morning'
'So how're ya doin'?'
'I'm fine'
'You sure?'
'Yes I am' he said, beginning to get annoyed. 'Why are you asking me these questions?'
'Well, because it's polite to ask those things back home plus I was wondrin' if you're suffering from a bad hair day'
'Of course I don't have a bad hair day! I'm an Elf and therefore I have perfect hair by nature!'
'So why are you brushing your hair then?' I asked. Legolas pulled a long face. I grinned. Mission accomplished.
~*~ Legolas's POV ~*~
My eyes followed Aragorn as he rode away from us. It was late in the afternoon of the second day since we left Minas Tirith and it was time for him to return home and fulfill his duties there. For a moment I wished that he wasn't the king of Gondor but just my friend and that he could accompany me all the way to Rivendell, if only to be a support in my "war" against Elena. But alas, he was the king and had to return home. WHAT AM I THINKING?!!! I'm a bloody prince! I don't need Aragorn's support against some annoying peasant!
I glanced sideways at Elena. She noticed it and glared at me, it was becoming her standard response to everything I did or said. I sighed, seventy days at least before we would reach Rivendell, and seeing how things were between us right now, and considering the possibility that it would only get worse, seventy days in the dungeons of Barad-dûr sounded like a nice holiday compared to my situation. Too bad they wrecked the place down.
~*~
'We should start searching for a place to make camp' I said that evening.
'*We*? Are you sure? I mean, I'm only a stupid peasant anyway so I'm probably also too stupid to recognize a good spot when I see one' she replied sarcastically. I decided to ignore her and not to reply to her words even though she was making it so easy for me to mock her. I'm not gonna do it. Am not. Am not. Oh bloody hell, just this once...
'At least you're not too stupid to admit that you're stupid' I said. Once again she glared at me. Aragorn was right, she did have something lady-like after all. I should give her a title. Lady Death-glare sounds fitting.
'And Tolkien made him look like a hero' she mumbled. What is she talking about?
'Tolkien? What's that?' I asked. She didn't answer. 'Well?'
'TolkienisapersonandthatsallImgonnatell' she said at once. Come again?
'Could you repeat that? I asked.
'You forgot to say the magic word' a mischievous grin crept onto her face. I decided to play dumb.
'What magic word?'
'I don't know, you're the Elf, you tell me'
'How come, if you don't know what the magic word is, that you do know it exists?'
'Female intuition' she replied dryly.
'Tell me!'
'Did I hear something or are my ears deceiving me?' she said to no one in particular. *Add some very nasty and also very censored curses* Why doesn't she just say it?! She's doing it on purpose, I just know it, and I don't want to give in! But I *need* to know who or what this Tolkien is!
'Tell me...' I said, 'please...' the last word was barely hearable, but I was sure she heard it.
'Could you say that louder please, I don't think I heard it correctly' she answered, eyes twinkling. Why that little...
'Please!' I said through gritted teeth, clenching my fists. 'Happy now?!'
'Couldn't be better' she grinned.
'So are you gonna tell me now?'
'I don't think so, you didn't really ask very polite' her grin grew even wider. Okay, that's it! Now she's getting it! I leapt of Melda towards her, and pulled her off her horse. She let out a cry of astonishment, then quickly recovered and tried to hit me. After a very short struggle I managed to pin her to the ground. As if mortal women are any match for me.
~*~ Elena's POV ~*~
Okay, so let me get this straight. I'm sitting on my horse, enjoying my victory, when suddenly Elf-boy decides to go *amazone* and pulls me off my horse. I tried to punch him, but he was faster and grabbed my wrist. Half a second later he'd gotten hold of my other wrist too and before I knew it I was pinned under him. Damn Elven agility.
'You have five seconds to let go!' I hissed, failing to suppress my anger.
'Or *what*? I don't think you're in the position to threaten anyone right now' he said, not even bothering to hide the amusement in his voice. I tried to break free, but he was too strong.
'But then again, you don't think much at all, do you?' I replied in the easiest way I could think of. Anger flashed onto his face and didn't leave it. God, right now I wish that I that I was a Mary Sue like Buffy so I could seriously kick his ass. But noooooooo, I had to be one of those imperfect human beings. Somebody up there must really hate me. He brought his face annoyingly close to mine again.
'Listen up and listen carefully, peasant' he hissed, 'you're gonna tell me everything right now or I'll forget that I'm noble for a moment and let you feel my anger!' the look in his eyes scared me, it really did. In an instant I knew what pure wrath looks like and trust me, it ain't pretty. And I don't like the whole *feel* thing either. I could take it in several ways and not a single one of them had nice consequences for me.
'Feel this!' I said as I suddenly kicked up with my knee and hit him in the groin with all my strength. He made one of those nice "ugh"-sounds. I pushed him off of me and got up. Mortal or immortal, they all have the same weakness. Thank God for self-defense. Who knows what he could have done?
As Legolas was busy being in great pain, I looked around. I was standing amidst a clearing in the forest, on the west side bordered by a small stream, and on the other sides by some kind of tall trees. The soil was exactly soft enough to sleep on, and it was covered with mostly grass and an occasional flower. Don't ask me the names of flowers, because I already have problems telling the differences between daisies and roses.
Legolas finally managed to get up and walk over to me. The look on his face told me that he was pretty damn angry. And still in great pain.
'You are going to pay for what you just did'
'Am I? You can't say I didn't warn you. It was your own damn fault to start mocking me before I could finish my phrase' I replied dryly. He glared at me, then turned around to the horses, who were now drinking from the stream.
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E/N: Finally got the new chapter all done. Hope you enjoyed it. As usual, feedback appreciated, constructive criticism will be welcomed and flames will be sent to Denethor.
-xxx- Elvea
electric muffin: *does little silly happy dance* Yay! Another happy reader! I'm so happy that I'm not the only one enjoying this story. I'm getting addicted to writing it. Is that a bad thing? Well anyway, I hope you enjoyed this!
ithinkineedanewname: Glad that you also like this story. I really enjoy writing it, and I'm glad that there's also others. (Even my two annoying siblings like it (read: they're gonna kill me if I don't update soon) and they usually start flaming me as soon as I say Lord of the Rings... wonder what would happen if I'd turn them into LotR fans). I'll bring another update ASAP. On how they're gonna survive... well, not without a hell of a lot pain (mainly on Legolas'' side, most likely) and a lot of verbal sparring. But that's a good thing right?
Oasisrocker: Well, I kept writing, hope the suspense didn't kill you. If it did... okay, never mind I'm not gonna write down the stupid thing that just popped up into my head.
?: |:o) Well, I kept going, hope you liked the new chappie.
SeaCucumber: Cute, lol! Well, Elena isn't all that cute, and I can't imagine you find my impression of Legolas all that cute either... it could just be me though...
Ellie Maxwell: Another one of you I'll-die-of-suspense-if-you-don't-update- soon people. Don't get me wrong; it's a good thing... I think. I figured it means you like the fic so let's just keep it at being a good thing. Glad you like the Legolas torture, and that you don't plan on killing me, unlike *someone*... *cough*Endomiel*cough*
CocoBeans: *blushes* Good thing you think it's funny. It's supposed to be. Yeah, Eldarion's cute. But he sure has some strange ideas...
Cattaria: *blushes again* Favorites list? That's so cool! Glad you're also one of the people who likes the Legolas torture. I've noticed almost everyone's cheering for Elena |:o) but why in God's name would you cheer for the Diabolical PlotBunnies of Doom(tm)? They're evil! They want me to write an essay on why Frodo and Sam are gay! They're not gay! It's mental cruelty I tell you! My Preciousss Frodo... *breaks into sobs*
;): Glad that you can laugh from my story. Hope I didn't cause you any injuries (from falling off your chair for instance) because I do not take responsibility for that. Read at own risk, lol. Hope you like it. I know, silly response to nice review...
adelaide e: Lol! Your review sent me to the floor laughing (and it sent Endomiel trying to track you down so she can kill you)! Stinky proud arse Legolas... lol. I think you misunderstood one thing though. I don't hate Eldarion. He's too cute to hate. I just suspect that he might be a PlotBunny in disguise, already trying to mess up my plot. Well I won't let it happen. Was this good enough revenge? Couldn't superglue Elf-boy to his saddle, Elena has nothing from her own world with her. I'll probably think of something worse and far too evil though. More verbal sparring's also on the way |:o) (can you guess I like weird clown smiley's?)
CreativeButterflyWhichCan'tFLy: Don't die if I don't update soon enough! I'll have no readers left! What am I supposed to do then? Besides, if you die you'll never know how it ends... believe me if I say I'm doing the best I can!
Black Pearl: So you pay more attention than just shallow reading, huh? That's a good thing. People who do that understand the story better and notice things that would go unnoticed otherwise (which can be a bad thing because those things are there for a reason). Compliments to you. Hope you enjoyed the new chapter!
Seal: What am I to say? DIE LEGOLAS!!! DIE!!! DIE!!! Lol. Don't really want him to die. Just want him to be in great pain. Wait, I know! SUFFER LEGOLAS!!! SUFFER!!! That better? I hope so...
Yavanna: Now now, don't go all over-complimenting me, you just might manage to get my ego to be even bigger than Legolas's... *gasps* That would be seriously bad, wouldn't it? And a hell of an accomplishment... geez, imagine that... another ego of such an ungodly size... what I'm saying is, please don't kill me if you found that you waited too long. I have a life too you know? *snickers* Well, sort of, anyway. TTFN!!!
TRUE STORY!!! HOW ENDOMIEL AND I DISCOVERED MORIA IN OUR SCHOOL-BASEMENT!!!
I was walking in school with Endy and we went to the basement (yes our school has a basement and yes we were not supposed to be there) and when we got there, it really really stank. As you may understand, we started searching for the body right away, hoping to find our mathematics-teacher dead (yes he is an @$$****). The school basement is really dark, dusty and... with pillars and everything (old building, you see). So anyway, we couldn't find the body (unfortunately the mathematics @$$**** is still alive) and I sat down in a chair to rest for a moment. I put my arm on the table... DOOM... the table does. We look at each other. I repeat it. DOOM... BOOM... DOOM... it sounded like the Balrog's drums. We look at the location, the darkness... we smell the awful stench of something rotting long forgotten... then we realize it. Moria is in the basement of our school!!!
But the story doesn't end there... we took out our little map of the school, and held it next to the map of Middle-earth. We noticed that Moria was in the central basement of our school, and that it was in the center of the map of Middle-earth. Going southeast from Moria, you will find Mordor. Going southeast from the basement we found... *dramatic pause(can you guess I like dramatic pauses?)* the Staff Section (SS). And then it hit us. The teachers are Orcs! Our mathematics teacher is Sauron! He must be destroyed! We must fight him! We have already formed a Fellowship of brave and worthy girls. I will keep you informed in the dealings with Sauron.