IOHITF - WARNING!!! Contains Legolas-mocking!!!
E/N: Yes, I'm back. Sorry, again, for taking so long. My computer hates me, I swear it does. I had about half the chapter done when my file disappeared. Whether I have a virus, accidentally deleted it or one of my siblings deleted it I don't know, but I had to start all over. Frustrating when you try to keep a promise and then the world around you doesn't co- operate... anyway, I got to writing and have now finished the chapter so I hope it was worth waiting for. And yes, I did solve the problem concerning the whole romance-thing. No Legomance. I already have a plot and I'm gonna stick to it. Sorry to those who would've liked it.
Love, peace and a paperclip,
-xxx- Elvea
Disclaimer: I do not own anything that New Line Cinema or Tolkien Enterprises already owns *sobs* and I am not gaining any other profit out of writing this than (positive) reviews and a good laugh when I think of a new cruel way to annoy Legolas. So there.
This chapter is dedicated to my two sisters, for stimulating me to write and helping me to a couple of ideas. I have discovered the use of siblings now... I knew they had to be good for something...
Random insanity of the authoress: Never say "never say never", for by saying "never say never" one is already saying "never" twice in one sentence.
"He followed the two elves, until they entered a small cellar and sat down at a table on which two large flagons were set. Soon they began to drink and laugh merrily. (...) It must be a potent wine to make a wood-elf drowsy; but this wine, it would seem, was the heady vintage of the great gardens of Dorwinion, not meant for his soldiers or his servants, but for the king's feasts only, and for smaller bowls not for the butler's great flagons." (the Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien, chapter 9 - Barrels Out Of Bond)
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Chapter 6 - Wood-elves and Wine
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~*~ Elena's POV ~*~
I hate Elves. Every single one of them. Mud bath, my ass. Puddle of icky- gooey stuff, more like. Filthy swamp water. I'm gonna kill him. I was covered in dirt and had no more spare clothes. Also, my fall had caused extra damage to my wound, which would've been healed for a day or so if it wasn't for that fucking sadist Legolas. I glared at him. Okay, so I didn't have an actual reason, so what? I mean, do you even need a reason to glare if you really hate a person? Isn't the hate in itself reason enough to glare?
It had been a day's ride from the lake to the forest, meaning that we were about to enter it. Thank God it wasn't that dark on this side. I was still looking up to it though. This might sound stupid, but I get claustrophobic in total darkness. And it's not like I can tell Elf-boy. He'll just laugh at me because he's so bloody perfect and I'm not. He's all like "I'm the great almighty fearless Elf-prince, dread me". Fearless, yeah right. He has to be afraid of something... I bet it's something really silly. Like arachnophobia or something similarly stupid. Heh... spiders, that'd be cool.
'Daro!' A movement on the road ahead of me drew my attention back to this world. At the edge of the forest stood a group of Elves, arrows notched to their bowstrings and ready to shoot us. Great. Just great. A group of hostile killer Elves from Mirkwood. Just what this day needed. Knowing Legolas, he'd probably get them to shoot me too. Yes please! At least I'll be rid of the Elf.
I shuddered. The kind of shudder you get hen you feel someone staring intensely at you. I looked at the Elves again. It wasn't hard for me to find him. All of the Elves had blond hair, except for Mr. Stare. He was almost a clone of Legolas, but then with long, dark hair and brighter blue eyes. Geez, radio-active... I tried to look him in the eyes for a moment, but couldn't stand his piercing gaze and looked away.
'Man ná elyë?' a tall, golden-haired Elf demanded as he stepped forward. Apparently he was the leader. He let his bow down, but kept the arrow to the string. His green eyes fell on me. I shifted uncomfortably.
'Im Legolas, ernil Eryn Lasgalen a ion e Thranduil' Legolas answered. The Elves started laughing.
'Legolas Thranduilion? Úquétima!' the leader decided.
'Im Legolas Thranduilion!' Legolas exclaimed, 'Hîr lín!'
'A im Eru Ilúvatar' one of the Elves replied. The Elves started laughing again. Legolas was losing his patience now, I could tell from experience. And Angry Legolas is not pretty. Sexy, but not pretty. Did I say sexy? This is getting so bad... nu-uh, not good at all. Come on! I just said that my arch-nemesis is sexy. How bad can things get?
'Hin ná beth nín vedui len' Legolas said dangerously calm. 'Im Legolas Beleg Thranduilion, ernil Eryn Lasgalen a im daritha an úner' the sound of his voice was impressive to say the least. The Elves looked at him in shock, looked closer and apparently recognized him because they bowed low and made way.
'Mae govannen, ernil Legolas' the leader said. 'Man ná híril?' he nodded in my direction.
'Ú ná híril. Ná 'rach.' Legolas answered. Call me a curse, he'll regret that.
' 'Rach?' the leader asked.
' 'Rach a del' Legolas stated. The leader grinned and turned to me.
'Mae govannen' he said.
'Ú mae govannen, edhel nibin' I replied. Legolas looked at me in amazement.
'You speak Sindarin?' he asked disbelievingly.
'Yes. I do.'
'A tiro men, Fanuilos' one of the Elves whispered.
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We were now riding alongside the river, accompanied by the Elves. Legolas was continuously talking to them in Sindarin and I was only able to understand flashes of their conversation. None of them paid attention to me. I sighed. Could things get more boring?
At least the trees don't grow too close to each other in this part of the forest. I can actually see the sky through the treetops, and even better above the river. The silvery light of the stars mirrored in the water and left a magical impression, the forest almost seemed nice to me.
Without me noticing, we rode into a small village. I didn't even see the houses until we halted our horses. They weren't very big and almost hidden between the trees, you didn't see them unless you knew they were there; and even then you had to look closely. It was pure coincidence that I discovered them; and Elf happened to come walking through some kind of door when I looked in that general direction.
'We will rest here tonight. Tomorrow we will ride on to the halls of my father' Legolas said. I shrugged.
'Fine, whatever'
There's not much to tell about the night we spent in the village. It turned out to be an elven village under the rule of Thranduil, and the empty barrels of wine he used to send to Lake Town came through this village; which reminded me of the Hobbit. All there is to tell is that the Elves made a big banquet for their prince and I got a good share. Then they locked me in on of the houses and God (or Eru, or the Valar; whatever) knows how they've been partying through the night. Do you have any idea how much noise can come from an elven party? No. And trust me, you don't want to know either. Damn Elves.
The next morning we set out early, in the company of a large group of Elves. Most of them didn't pay attention to me, and of those who did; I wished they didn't. They glanced quickly at my hair, giggled, glanced quickly again, snickered and then laughed until they nearly fell off their horses. After three cases the other Elves didn't even look up to see what was going on anymore. Why don't they just shoot me now and spare me the humiliation? Oh wait, I forgot. This is Middle-earth; designed for tormenting me.
~*~ Thranduil's POV ~*~
News had come to me late last night of the unexpected arrival of my son. Although it came as a complete surprise I was as happy as any father could be; after years of short letters my son was finally coming back home! I had made sure his quarters were in perfect state and was now eagerly and, dare I admit it, impatiently waiting for him to come home. Any moment now he could be here.
Trumpets announced his arrival. Moments later Galion entered the room, put down a tray with wine and glasses on a side-table and left again. Then a herald entered, but impatient as I was I dismissed him and looked at the door expectantly. What entered the room utterly shocked me and my mouth fell wide open in amazement; for the most... colorful couple just entered the guestroom. The first of the two was, no doubt, my son. I could see it by the look in his eyes, the contours of his face, by the way he walked... everything. Except that his hair was missing. The second person, no less in stature than Legolas, was a mortal girl and still very young. However, she was clad in things fit for an Elf; the clothes now more than usual stained from a long journey. She had an intelligent yet somewhat hostile look in her eyes, which, apart from the hostility, could've been taken from a deer. But her hair... by the Light of the Trees, never had I seen such hair before! Curly, to her shoulders and in multiple colors from green to pink and from purple to blue and red. I blinked as the couple entered, speechless. Legolas placed his hand on his chest and bowed.
'Mae govannen ada' he said.
'Mae govannen, ion nin' I responded as I bowed to him. I looked at the girl and moved to bow, but Legolas stopped me.
'She's but a prisoner' he said, loud enough for her to hear. She glared at him. I frowned.
'Esserya?' I asked. Legolas snorted before answering.
'Elena'
Elena. The maiden of the stars. Apart from her hair and continuous death- stare towards my son she looked innocent and sweet enough. I wonder who gave her that name... Despite Legolas's protests I bowed to her.
'Mae govannen, wendë elena' my son glared at me, the girl grinned amusedly.
'What's wrong, Legging-las? Can't have it that someone treats me with actual respect?' she said. He shot her a hateful look.
'Doesn't my son treat you with respect then?' I asked.
'Would I be walking around with fin-ninniach if he did?' she countered. I raised an eyebrow, but didn't respond to that.
'Tell me all about your journey' I gestured for them to sit down and poured wine into the glasses. There were three. Galion had known of the girl, then. She carefully took a sip, as did Legolas, only less careful.
'Dorwinion wine' he stated approvingly.
'Thank you, Captain Obvious' wendë-elena replied as she rolled her eyes.
'You be silent, wendë en fin-ninniach' Legolas glared at her. I sighed. This could be a long night. I'd better tell Galion to bring more wine if I don't want the hostile behavior to get worse...
~*~ Legolas's POV ~*~
I glared at Elena. Trust her to take away all the joy of drinking Dorwinion wine. She doesn't even deserve it; she couldn't possibly enjoy it. She took a second sip, then emptied her glass all at once. She pouted as she now had nothing left. See? I told you she doesn't know how to enjoy a good wine!
Galion walked into the room, exchanged a few words with father and then left. A silence fell. Elena shifted in her chair. I studied father's face as he looked at her. Curiosity, wondering... bemused in his own way. I could see the questions in his eyes; where did she come from? What was her crime? And: what in Manwë's name happened to her hair?
'Well, wendë elena, I'm interested in your story' father said. What about *me*? Elena shot me a triumphant look, just before Galion re-entered with more wine. He refilled her cup and retired in a corner to wait until one of our cups was empty. Elena took a sip of wine and started telling of our journey, answering father's questions when he asked them. Occasionally I interrupted when she forgot things or when things became too embarrassing for me. Whenever I did that, she took a couple of sips of her wine.
When she was finished telling, father asked me some questions. Elena stood up and walked to the door. I wanted to call her back, but father stopped me. With a simple hand-gesture he dismissed Galion, and in a split-second the both of them were gone.
'I wish for a private word with you, ion nin'
'But father! What about Elena?! She's-'
'Not as dangerous as you say she is, and a bit wronged, in my opinion. I think you should give her a chance'
'By the Valar! Not another one! Father, you sound like Aragorn!'
'Of course. Both of us are kings. We think beyond our feelings alone'
'She's a threat to this kingdom. She must be locked in the deepest, darkest dungeon and be fed only dry bred and water!'
'Have I taught you nothing?! Treat your prisoners good, all of them! Only the foulest of foul creatures should get that treatment, or be slain if need forces to'
'She should be slain, then?'
'She will get the best rooms in the guest wing'
'Rooms? Plural? The GUEST wing?'
'Nothing wrong with your ears...' After hearing Elena do Black Speech? I doubt it. 'There is a feast tomorrow, and she will get proper clothes for the occasion and the rest of her stay. After all, she is an honored guest...'
'But father-'
'Furthermore, she will get instructions in battle-skills, for the wood is perilous and you were unable to defend her well on your last encounter with orcs'
'Father!'
'Back to tomorrows feast. I suppose you will be her companion for the evening?'
Kill me now, Morgoth, and make it swift.
~*~ Thranduil's POV ~*~
I had him cornered now. He deserved a mild punishment for his unjust behavior. Treating wendë elena as a guest would help, but wasn't enough of a punishment.
'Oh no. No way. Absolutely not. I will not accompany her. Not *her*. Elena, of all people!'
'She doesn't know anyone else here in Mirkwood, except for you. You brought her here, you accompany her. I do not wish to be disappointed in you.'
'You win, father. I will accompany her'
'Which reminds me; how long will you be staying?'
'Three days'
'Three days? You must stay longer. At least a month'
'That will be too much of a delay'
'I haven't seen you in years. I need at least two weeks to hear and tell of all events'
'Fine. Two weeks from now. But not a day longer'
~*~ Galion's POV ~*~
I followed the girl as she left the king and the prince. The look on my liege's face had been enough to tell me to keep an eye on her. Which made good sense seeing as she had drunk five glasses of the heady Dorwinion wine. She wandered through the hallways, obviously without a clue where she was headed and that she was being followed. Suddenly she stopped. I his behind a pillar, carefully watching her. She looked around; lost. It made perfect sense, the royal wing was a maze to strangers. It was a miracle that she found it in the first place. She said some things in a language I don't understand nor do I wish to; it sounded rather nasty. She didn't seem to know what she was doing there either. Obviously drunk.
'Can I help you?' the girl turned around and looked at the prince.
'Yes' she answered. Silence fell.
'With what can I help you?' the prince asked.
'I think I'm lost' she looked as if she was about to faint.
'Where do you want to go? Where is your room?'
'I don't know. I... don't... think I have a room...'
'Are you alright?'
'Yes, yes, I'm fine. I think.' She fell forward, but the prince caught her.
'Are you sure?' he looked down at the girl that was now in his arms. She focused her eyes on him, as if she couldn't see clearly.
'I think that...' the girl whispered.
'Yes?' the prince lowered his head as if to hear her better, even though it wasn't necessary.
'I think that maybe I'm going to kiss you' she said. The prince grinned amusedly; he didn't seem too sober either, though more conscious of what he was doing.
'Oh really?'
'I think so'
'Maybe you should get some sleep'
'No'
'I think you should'
'Will you tuck me in?'
'Sure'
'And I want a kiss goodnight' she said triumphantly. The prince smiled.
'Any other wishes?' he joked. The girl nodded, then suddenly pulled the prince's head down and kissed him. I blinked. That was fast... I blinked again. The prince was kissing her back. He was kissing a girl with fin- ninniach... well I guess there's no arguing about taste...
Hey, where'd they go?
~*~ Elena's POV ~*~
Imagine waking up without opening your eyes, feeling better than ever. Imagine your head and hand lying on a muscular chest. Imagine the entire body being well in shape, and yourself lying against it. Imagine one of his hands on your waist, the other going slowly through your hair. Imagine knowing that neither of you is wearing anything. Imagine his lips meeting yours and kissing him blindly, not once opening your eyes but simply enjoying the situation. Imagine drawing back, opening your eyes and screaming in terror. That's right; you're looking in the face of Legolas Greenleaf.
In a split second I sat up straight and wrapped the sheets around me, clutching to them as if it was my dear life. I looked at him and his amused grin, then blinked. He was still there. Butt-naked. Oh my God. Oh my fucking God. Literally. Shut up, bitch. Yeah, whatever. Confused now...
Just then the door went open and Legolas walked in. I looked at him and blinked. Was this some kind of hangover side effect? Then I blinked again. He didn't disappear. That's when it dawned me.
'Holy shit! There's two of you!' I exclaimed. The Legolas in the doorway stared at us (his eyes almost bulging out) with wide-open mouth.
'YOU!' he pointed his finger at me in accusation, his eyes still open wide. 'YOU!' he now pointed his finger at -who the hell was he anyway?- Legolas #2 on the bed, even more accusing than he had done before. It was clear that he was confused. Join the club, boy. Suddenly he turned around and left the room, closing the door behind him. I blinked. Okay... I turned to Legolas #2, and realized that he couldn't be Legolas. He still had hair. Suddenly he stuck out his hand.
'Tinwë, pleasure to meet you' he said. Confusedly I took it and we shook hands.
'Uh, yeah... pleasure to meet you too... I guess...' Tinwë grinned a damn sexy grin that made his eyes twinkle. 'Listen, uhm, Tinwë. Can I ask you a question?'
'Sure, go ahead'
'Who the hell are you?'
He grinned again. Must be the reason why I gave in to him and/or jumped him last night. Can't seem to remember which.
'I'm my father's second son'
'Very funny, Elf. Then who is your father?'
'King Thranduil, of course'
Beat.
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E/N: Sooooooo... how'd you guys like Legolas's reaction to finding Elena with Tinwë? Well, I hope you liked it. Sort of a cliffhanger, but the next chapter is almost done, so it's not all that evil. Next chapter will be, though. *insert evil laughter here* Uh, yeah... whatever. Oh yeah, I forgot: I WAS BORN ON THE SAME DAY AS ELIJAH WOOD AND HE'S A CUTIE!!! Sorry. Had to get it out of my system.
Love, peace and a paperclip,
-xxx- Elvea
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Elvea's Elvish Helpdesk. Sort of.
Please note that these phrases took ages to get right. Hard work's been put into them, forgive me if a mistake is made in one or two places.
Daro! - Stop!
Man ná elyë? - Who are you?
Im Legolas, ernil Eryn Lasgalen a ion e Thranduil - I am Legolas, prince of Mirkwood and son of Thranduil.
Legolas Thranduilion? Úquétima! - Legolas son of Thranduil? Impossible!
Im Legolas Thranduilion! Hîr lín! - I am Legolas son of Thranduil! Your lord!
A im Eru Ilúvatar - And I'm Eru Ilúvatar
Hin ná beth nín vedui len. Im Legolas Beleg Thranduilion, ernil Eryn Lasgalen a im daritha an úner - These are my last words for you. I'm Legolas Beleg son of Thranduil and I stop for no man (freely: no one)
Mae govannen, ernil Legolas. Man ná híril? - Well met, prince Legolas. Who is the lady?
Ú ná híril. Ná 'rach. - She's not a lady. She's a curse.
'Rach? - A curse?
'Rach a del - A curse and a horror
Mae govannen - Well met
Ú mae govannen, edhel nibin - Not well met, petty Elf
A tiro men, Fanuilos - Watch over us, Elbereth
Mae govannen ada - Well met, father
Mae govannen, ion nin - Well met, my son
Esserya? - Her name?
wendë elena - maiden of the stars
fin-ninniach - rainbow(colored)-hair
wendë en fin-ninniach - maiden with rainbow-colored hair
ion nin - my son
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SOME PEOPLE REVIEWED TWICE ON ONE CHAPTER! THEY DID GET TWO REPLIES!!! (Yes, I'm sick. Sue me.)
anonomous: Thank you! Always good to get a compliment, I suppose.
Gizmo: Sure I'll keep you informed! (But you already knew that, right?) Hope I didn't scare you with this chapter. Freaked out some friends who beta-ed for me, so hope you're alright. If not... I'll get back on you for that one. No really, I will. I know the phone number of the mental institution near my house (don't ask), so if you need help... THE ELVES IN WHITE COATS ARE COMING FOR YOU!!! Right. Never mind that.
ola: Tsk, tsk... forgot to review, huh? Nah, don't sweat it. It's optional, not like you have to do it. (Although I do enjoy reading reviews. Good for my Leggy's Big Ego Syndrome. Bad for me, though.) And you don't have to beg for more of the story (but I won't stop you either. Makes me feel almighty. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Yeah, whatever.), I enjoy writing this too much to quit. Not going too fast though. Oh well, gotta live with that. No one's perfect. (My name's No one sometimes... =P stuff it.)
ElvenPickle: Dying? That's not to good, eh? How about I give you some really sexy Legolas-mental images as a remedy until I update? Sound like a plan? Or do you prefer someone else? Like Frodo? *droolz* Need to replace keyboard. Wrecked it again. Sigh. Want to thank you for my 100th review, was really nice of you. Never thought I'd make it that far. The soon didn't really work out, unfortunately. Don't get on your knees just yet. Not like I'm pointing an arrow at your face (yet). Mweh, am in an evil mood. Don't know what is wrong, really. Am supposed to be the Goddess of all Good. Oh well, daddy Eru can stuff it. *gets her butt zapped* That happens all the time. Gets annoying. It's not easy having an almighty god as your father, you know... you should be feeling sorry for me now, by the way. Cool links help! Really, they do!
Karone: You're actually counting the days? Okaaaaaaay... obsessive... not that it's a bad thing, though. I think. (I'm actually thinking? Freaking self out. V. bad habit.) No need to get desperate either. There's lots of good stories out there! Like... like... I'll tell you when I find one. Oh! I know! Like OFUM part 1 and 2! And the VSD's! Have you read the new ones yet? Concerning "Scheveningen": you'd like to know, wouldn't you? It is, up to a certain level, part of the plot. Not a big role, but it will be explained later on. You'll have to be patient, like everyone else. Sorry. "A tiro nin, Fanuilos" means "watch over me, Elbereth"; it comes from the books. And don't worry about sucking at Elvish. It's similar to Latin, and if you don't know Latin it can get tough at times. And you can write in Tengwar too? Cool! My friends and I are spreading messages in Tengwar around our school, great fun, heheh. Mani'oio.
ElvenPickle: Two reviews? Well, it's really nice that you bothered to do so, I guess. But a Mary Sue? *gasps* You scared me there! Seriously! I mean, exactly how desperate are you? Don't answer that. And really, what's with the begging?
Karone: And another one who reviewed twice... thank you, I really appreciate it! but how could you forget about my story? Tsk. Nah, just kidding. But don't go on your knees. Makes you seem so dependant. And you can live without some silly fic of an insane girl, right? RIGHT?!!!
Oasisrocker: fan-bloody-tastic? Nice term. Don't think I've heard it before. I actually like the sound. Maybe I should use it in school et cetera. *rubs chin thoughtfully* Yes Precious, that woulds be very good idea, Preciousss... ignore that last bit. Have Gollum-Syndrome. Glad that you like the killer horse from hell bit, it's one of my personal favorites. And you actually feel sorry for Elena being PHYSICALLY attracted to Legsie- dearest? Interesting. Although a little late: Happy New Year to you too.
Sandman: |:o) I'm glad that you think it's still coming along nicely. The Leggy-torture, I mean. Personally I feared that it was getting a little less with every chapter I wrote. (This will change next chapter, the evillest chapter yet. Is evillest even a word?) And have you gotten over the writer's block? I hope so. It's the most terrible thing that could possibly happen, and I always hope it goes away quickly. Only better. Although sometimes it's necessary to have a period without inspiration to continue brilliantly. This is me being wise and philosophical. Feel free to be scared.
*~*FoXy_LaDy*~*: I'm glad you enjoyed chapter one so much that it made you cry. I hope you liked the other chapters just as much; I'm trying to get it right. Takes me a while, though. Am such a silly bint sometimes.
Phoenix Flight: My friends and I laughed our asses off at your idea of "The Hair Wars", it's fan-bloody-tastic! Picked up that term from Oasisrocker (see above). Love it. As for Elena having the disadvantage when it comes to pranks... hoo boy, next chapter things will change... *dundundun* Chapter Seven: The Evil Chapter. Sugar high. Don't ask. Heheh, yeah, I liked the cutting hair as well. Was hard to think of a way to make him do it though. Thank daddy Eru I had some help.
Griffinkhan: :) Thank you! Nice to know that you like them. (Although I don't see how anyone can like Legolas. He's an annoying Captain Obvious. Movie-Legolas, mind you, not the book-one.) You should be happy to know that they won't fall in love. About Lake Town: we're both right. Lake Town was indeed rebuilt, but not in the same spot. If you read the book carefully, you'll notice Tolkien telling about it being built farther north along the lake, away from Smaug's cursed corps. Made it clear now?
Ril-Gania: He did that, you know. Wasn't that bad. Had a nice laugh together. But then again, he's Bertram. Always laughing when with him. Of course, you know that better than anyone else, don't you ;) ? Do you really want to know how I come up with this stuff? I doubt it. Oh and Orli dun hate me for writing it. He wiser than that. Sooo... tell him I said hi. Need to tease him againon Legsie some day. Dunno why, just feel evil.
ElvenPickle: Third review in a row. You like keeping me busy, don't you? Love the bitchy website. Agree we should have a bumper sticker. No, even better, loads of them to terrorize the world with. *insert evil laughter* Legolas, worth a broken skateboard? Not up to me to judge. Ask Elena.
Karone: is this some sort of conspiracy? Three reviews at a time? Oh well, I suppose it's flattering... well, don't really know what to say anymore... oh yeah! Did your friends like the story?
Lossie Alqua: Yet another leaving two reviews... *shakes head* Honestly, you people... btw, the vampire-thing was not an insult. And a berry? Riiiiiiiight... Hope you didn't hurt yourself running into that lamp... thanks for the cappucino, am an addict. Well, as I said, no Legomance. But remember, Elena's not me. I made her up.
WinterRose: Yeah, yeah... but I just like to hear it, you know... *grin* Ah yes, Legolas's huge ego really is contagious... shoot me if it gets too bad, please. No wait, don't. I wanna kick Endy's ass again at Magic first. Mweheh, said she was invincible. Psht. Don't mind me, I'm in a very good mood. Meaning I feel like kicking something. Shut up Estel. Have you met Estel yet? I hope not. He's my evil twin brother, living inside of my head. Very annoying bloke. Yeah, whatever. I thought I told you to shut up?
Jazz: Leggo with spikes is sexy!!! DUH!!! Picture it! *drool* Hell, I'm drooling, and I'm not even a Legolas fan! Not really, anyway. Besides, know what Orli looks like with spikes? Myum... don't mind that. Eline (NOT Elena, am not her, she not me) taking over again. Silly bint. MPD so irritating. So getting you into trouble at times... *sigh* But anyway, the girls won't run away from him. Maybe they'll see it as a pleasant change. And even if they don't, he's still the crown prince of Mirkwood. Besides, it'll grow back... eventually... maybe not when Elena gets to be around him longer... plotting conspiracy now... certainly with the Black Speech... I actually frightened the shit out of my Geography teacher with it... never mind, long story. Lotta fun, though. Am thinking about using the quotes more actively in the story, that should please you. Sorry to keep you waiting btw, didn't mean to. Really, I didn't! Shut up Mandy. She annoying. Hey!
LBFREAK: You actually enjoy Legolas in great pain? That is just SICK! Wait, I wrote it... I am worse... okay, forget I said that. I salute you back, for I will not have a Legomance. I realized it would make the story turn into a Mary Sue-y cliché, and that was everything I didn't want. Mweh. As for the dream-elf... well she met an Elf in Mirkwood, and she did some dreaming next to him... that count? No? Ugh. Fine. Whatever. Bite me. On second thought, don't. This implies I had first thoughts. Shut up, Eline. Here's a tip: never listen to disembodied voices. It's only what the voices in MY head say though. Stuck to plot. Go me! 4 weeks didn't work out, did it? I wanna make it though. Hmmm... maybe I could make my sis promise to gimme cookies if I make it... just might work. Yeah, I could try that... I give up. Am a total disaster.
Gollumsess: Death to Leggie's hair? Uh, yeah... whatever, dude. You dn't really sound like a fan of our Legsie-dearest, or are you? That would require some explanation then... hmmm... take your time... oh yeah, it's not why she hates Jason. You'll find out, it's a major of the plot. Just have to wait a while. All I can say is that her hate has a much deeper reason.
Kat: I'm glad you like the pranks as well. Now that they're on a short break of their journey, there'll be much more time for those kinda things, and much more supplies as well. Hell yeah, I have some *very* creative ideas. *evil laughter inserted here* Yay! I created a classic! Sorta. Oh, whatever. Bite me. No, don't. yes, do. NO!!! Ignore Estel. He's an annoying voice in my head. Flirts with anything, really anything, that breathes. Very disturbing. Need to do something about the speed I write with... so bad... honestly. Thank daddy Eru I didn't get too many reviews requesting romance, but was still enough to get me doubting for a moment. Decided to stick to plot. Was best solution.
Risu-chan: Kewl! I'm getting Leggy-fans to laugh at him. Heheh, I just might be able to pull them all over to... *dundundun* the Dark Side. MUHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Feeling Diabolical Master Plan coming up. Or actually, the Éomer fanclub. Not much of a difference, really. Éomer's a cutie. Stuff it. ??? Didn't follow self there. Kept writing, happy?
Black Pearl: I terrified you with afro Legolas? Sorry... next time I'll make it purple-haired afro Legolas with yellow ribbons. That scare you? Good. Seeing as I'm the author of this fic, and know how I want to end it; I do know if they'll call a truce or not. What I think doesn't matter. But what do you think?
Lady Eowyn: *rubs temples to get rid of headache she got from ~someone~ making noise in the Hall of Reviews* Still nice to see people that enthusiastic though. Don't feel offended! Question is now... what will Elena, Legolas and Tinwë do? And how about Thrandy? Heheh, have evil ideas... oh yeah... more fighting on the way. Oh yes. More evilness as well, although not just from Legsie-dearest. And making Elena seem psycho? Uh, perhaps... oh yeah. I dyed my hear ruby-red. Just thought I'd mention.
Yavanna: :) Meep! Am back. *re-reads phrase* Meep? Ignore that. Took me bloody long, didn't it? I'll be damned if I take this long for next chapter! Ugh. But... no Legomance, just like I said at start of the story. Have a much better idea. More evil, better for the plot, and probably a lot funnier as well. Yeah, whatever. Anyway, feel like being evil. Don't go anywhere near Holland for the coming month, okay? At your own risk...
lil' odd me: You're welcome! You deserved the honor. After all, it was you idea... but don't get to proud of it. I just might get daddy Eru to zap your sorry butt to Angband. Never mind. Well, Endy's working on the new chapter of Highschool... not going too fast though. I threatened to send you after her if she doesn't hurry. For some reason or other she's scared of you... care to explain why?
Self Proclaimed Legolas Fangirl: |:o) Brilliant is my favorite word. Really, it is! I like the sound. Might have something to do with Elijah's favorite words, tho. Oh well. I imagine feeling sorry for Elena, but why Legolas? He's an asshole. (One of the reviewers said so, it's not my words!) But I'm glad you like Leggy with spikes. I know what it looks like and trust me... *drool* Forget I did that. Am a Frodo fan girl. No really, I am!
Meggie-S: Your review was actually a bit disturbing. In the good way, though. Haven't had that many reviews of people wanting to adopt me, you see. Certainly not of people that aren't even 18. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it took me damn long enough!
Special thanks goes to SHANNON, who was kind enough to send me an email to tell me what she thinks of my story, in stead of being lazy and pressing the review button. (Not that I don't appreciate that...) Shannon, thanks for your email. It's really nice to get a message like that. I hope you liked the new chapter.
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E/N: *insert usual plea for review here* Too lazy to type it out.
E/N: Yes, I'm back. Sorry, again, for taking so long. My computer hates me, I swear it does. I had about half the chapter done when my file disappeared. Whether I have a virus, accidentally deleted it or one of my siblings deleted it I don't know, but I had to start all over. Frustrating when you try to keep a promise and then the world around you doesn't co- operate... anyway, I got to writing and have now finished the chapter so I hope it was worth waiting for. And yes, I did solve the problem concerning the whole romance-thing. No Legomance. I already have a plot and I'm gonna stick to it. Sorry to those who would've liked it.
Love, peace and a paperclip,
-xxx- Elvea
Disclaimer: I do not own anything that New Line Cinema or Tolkien Enterprises already owns *sobs* and I am not gaining any other profit out of writing this than (positive) reviews and a good laugh when I think of a new cruel way to annoy Legolas. So there.
This chapter is dedicated to my two sisters, for stimulating me to write and helping me to a couple of ideas. I have discovered the use of siblings now... I knew they had to be good for something...
Random insanity of the authoress: Never say "never say never", for by saying "never say never" one is already saying "never" twice in one sentence.
"He followed the two elves, until they entered a small cellar and sat down at a table on which two large flagons were set. Soon they began to drink and laugh merrily. (...) It must be a potent wine to make a wood-elf drowsy; but this wine, it would seem, was the heady vintage of the great gardens of Dorwinion, not meant for his soldiers or his servants, but for the king's feasts only, and for smaller bowls not for the butler's great flagons." (the Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien, chapter 9 - Barrels Out Of Bond)
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Chapter 6 - Wood-elves and Wine
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~*~ Elena's POV ~*~
I hate Elves. Every single one of them. Mud bath, my ass. Puddle of icky- gooey stuff, more like. Filthy swamp water. I'm gonna kill him. I was covered in dirt and had no more spare clothes. Also, my fall had caused extra damage to my wound, which would've been healed for a day or so if it wasn't for that fucking sadist Legolas. I glared at him. Okay, so I didn't have an actual reason, so what? I mean, do you even need a reason to glare if you really hate a person? Isn't the hate in itself reason enough to glare?
It had been a day's ride from the lake to the forest, meaning that we were about to enter it. Thank God it wasn't that dark on this side. I was still looking up to it though. This might sound stupid, but I get claustrophobic in total darkness. And it's not like I can tell Elf-boy. He'll just laugh at me because he's so bloody perfect and I'm not. He's all like "I'm the great almighty fearless Elf-prince, dread me". Fearless, yeah right. He has to be afraid of something... I bet it's something really silly. Like arachnophobia or something similarly stupid. Heh... spiders, that'd be cool.
'Daro!' A movement on the road ahead of me drew my attention back to this world. At the edge of the forest stood a group of Elves, arrows notched to their bowstrings and ready to shoot us. Great. Just great. A group of hostile killer Elves from Mirkwood. Just what this day needed. Knowing Legolas, he'd probably get them to shoot me too. Yes please! At least I'll be rid of the Elf.
I shuddered. The kind of shudder you get hen you feel someone staring intensely at you. I looked at the Elves again. It wasn't hard for me to find him. All of the Elves had blond hair, except for Mr. Stare. He was almost a clone of Legolas, but then with long, dark hair and brighter blue eyes. Geez, radio-active... I tried to look him in the eyes for a moment, but couldn't stand his piercing gaze and looked away.
'Man ná elyë?' a tall, golden-haired Elf demanded as he stepped forward. Apparently he was the leader. He let his bow down, but kept the arrow to the string. His green eyes fell on me. I shifted uncomfortably.
'Im Legolas, ernil Eryn Lasgalen a ion e Thranduil' Legolas answered. The Elves started laughing.
'Legolas Thranduilion? Úquétima!' the leader decided.
'Im Legolas Thranduilion!' Legolas exclaimed, 'Hîr lín!'
'A im Eru Ilúvatar' one of the Elves replied. The Elves started laughing again. Legolas was losing his patience now, I could tell from experience. And Angry Legolas is not pretty. Sexy, but not pretty. Did I say sexy? This is getting so bad... nu-uh, not good at all. Come on! I just said that my arch-nemesis is sexy. How bad can things get?
'Hin ná beth nín vedui len' Legolas said dangerously calm. 'Im Legolas Beleg Thranduilion, ernil Eryn Lasgalen a im daritha an úner' the sound of his voice was impressive to say the least. The Elves looked at him in shock, looked closer and apparently recognized him because they bowed low and made way.
'Mae govannen, ernil Legolas' the leader said. 'Man ná híril?' he nodded in my direction.
'Ú ná híril. Ná 'rach.' Legolas answered. Call me a curse, he'll regret that.
' 'Rach?' the leader asked.
' 'Rach a del' Legolas stated. The leader grinned and turned to me.
'Mae govannen' he said.
'Ú mae govannen, edhel nibin' I replied. Legolas looked at me in amazement.
'You speak Sindarin?' he asked disbelievingly.
'Yes. I do.'
'A tiro men, Fanuilos' one of the Elves whispered.
~*~
We were now riding alongside the river, accompanied by the Elves. Legolas was continuously talking to them in Sindarin and I was only able to understand flashes of their conversation. None of them paid attention to me. I sighed. Could things get more boring?
At least the trees don't grow too close to each other in this part of the forest. I can actually see the sky through the treetops, and even better above the river. The silvery light of the stars mirrored in the water and left a magical impression, the forest almost seemed nice to me.
Without me noticing, we rode into a small village. I didn't even see the houses until we halted our horses. They weren't very big and almost hidden between the trees, you didn't see them unless you knew they were there; and even then you had to look closely. It was pure coincidence that I discovered them; and Elf happened to come walking through some kind of door when I looked in that general direction.
'We will rest here tonight. Tomorrow we will ride on to the halls of my father' Legolas said. I shrugged.
'Fine, whatever'
There's not much to tell about the night we spent in the village. It turned out to be an elven village under the rule of Thranduil, and the empty barrels of wine he used to send to Lake Town came through this village; which reminded me of the Hobbit. All there is to tell is that the Elves made a big banquet for their prince and I got a good share. Then they locked me in on of the houses and God (or Eru, or the Valar; whatever) knows how they've been partying through the night. Do you have any idea how much noise can come from an elven party? No. And trust me, you don't want to know either. Damn Elves.
The next morning we set out early, in the company of a large group of Elves. Most of them didn't pay attention to me, and of those who did; I wished they didn't. They glanced quickly at my hair, giggled, glanced quickly again, snickered and then laughed until they nearly fell off their horses. After three cases the other Elves didn't even look up to see what was going on anymore. Why don't they just shoot me now and spare me the humiliation? Oh wait, I forgot. This is Middle-earth; designed for tormenting me.
~*~ Thranduil's POV ~*~
News had come to me late last night of the unexpected arrival of my son. Although it came as a complete surprise I was as happy as any father could be; after years of short letters my son was finally coming back home! I had made sure his quarters were in perfect state and was now eagerly and, dare I admit it, impatiently waiting for him to come home. Any moment now he could be here.
Trumpets announced his arrival. Moments later Galion entered the room, put down a tray with wine and glasses on a side-table and left again. Then a herald entered, but impatient as I was I dismissed him and looked at the door expectantly. What entered the room utterly shocked me and my mouth fell wide open in amazement; for the most... colorful couple just entered the guestroom. The first of the two was, no doubt, my son. I could see it by the look in his eyes, the contours of his face, by the way he walked... everything. Except that his hair was missing. The second person, no less in stature than Legolas, was a mortal girl and still very young. However, she was clad in things fit for an Elf; the clothes now more than usual stained from a long journey. She had an intelligent yet somewhat hostile look in her eyes, which, apart from the hostility, could've been taken from a deer. But her hair... by the Light of the Trees, never had I seen such hair before! Curly, to her shoulders and in multiple colors from green to pink and from purple to blue and red. I blinked as the couple entered, speechless. Legolas placed his hand on his chest and bowed.
'Mae govannen ada' he said.
'Mae govannen, ion nin' I responded as I bowed to him. I looked at the girl and moved to bow, but Legolas stopped me.
'She's but a prisoner' he said, loud enough for her to hear. She glared at him. I frowned.
'Esserya?' I asked. Legolas snorted before answering.
'Elena'
Elena. The maiden of the stars. Apart from her hair and continuous death- stare towards my son she looked innocent and sweet enough. I wonder who gave her that name... Despite Legolas's protests I bowed to her.
'Mae govannen, wendë elena' my son glared at me, the girl grinned amusedly.
'What's wrong, Legging-las? Can't have it that someone treats me with actual respect?' she said. He shot her a hateful look.
'Doesn't my son treat you with respect then?' I asked.
'Would I be walking around with fin-ninniach if he did?' she countered. I raised an eyebrow, but didn't respond to that.
'Tell me all about your journey' I gestured for them to sit down and poured wine into the glasses. There were three. Galion had known of the girl, then. She carefully took a sip, as did Legolas, only less careful.
'Dorwinion wine' he stated approvingly.
'Thank you, Captain Obvious' wendë-elena replied as she rolled her eyes.
'You be silent, wendë en fin-ninniach' Legolas glared at her. I sighed. This could be a long night. I'd better tell Galion to bring more wine if I don't want the hostile behavior to get worse...
~*~ Legolas's POV ~*~
I glared at Elena. Trust her to take away all the joy of drinking Dorwinion wine. She doesn't even deserve it; she couldn't possibly enjoy it. She took a second sip, then emptied her glass all at once. She pouted as she now had nothing left. See? I told you she doesn't know how to enjoy a good wine!
Galion walked into the room, exchanged a few words with father and then left. A silence fell. Elena shifted in her chair. I studied father's face as he looked at her. Curiosity, wondering... bemused in his own way. I could see the questions in his eyes; where did she come from? What was her crime? And: what in Manwë's name happened to her hair?
'Well, wendë elena, I'm interested in your story' father said. What about *me*? Elena shot me a triumphant look, just before Galion re-entered with more wine. He refilled her cup and retired in a corner to wait until one of our cups was empty. Elena took a sip of wine and started telling of our journey, answering father's questions when he asked them. Occasionally I interrupted when she forgot things or when things became too embarrassing for me. Whenever I did that, she took a couple of sips of her wine.
When she was finished telling, father asked me some questions. Elena stood up and walked to the door. I wanted to call her back, but father stopped me. With a simple hand-gesture he dismissed Galion, and in a split-second the both of them were gone.
'I wish for a private word with you, ion nin'
'But father! What about Elena?! She's-'
'Not as dangerous as you say she is, and a bit wronged, in my opinion. I think you should give her a chance'
'By the Valar! Not another one! Father, you sound like Aragorn!'
'Of course. Both of us are kings. We think beyond our feelings alone'
'She's a threat to this kingdom. She must be locked in the deepest, darkest dungeon and be fed only dry bred and water!'
'Have I taught you nothing?! Treat your prisoners good, all of them! Only the foulest of foul creatures should get that treatment, or be slain if need forces to'
'She should be slain, then?'
'She will get the best rooms in the guest wing'
'Rooms? Plural? The GUEST wing?'
'Nothing wrong with your ears...' After hearing Elena do Black Speech? I doubt it. 'There is a feast tomorrow, and she will get proper clothes for the occasion and the rest of her stay. After all, she is an honored guest...'
'But father-'
'Furthermore, she will get instructions in battle-skills, for the wood is perilous and you were unable to defend her well on your last encounter with orcs'
'Father!'
'Back to tomorrows feast. I suppose you will be her companion for the evening?'
Kill me now, Morgoth, and make it swift.
~*~ Thranduil's POV ~*~
I had him cornered now. He deserved a mild punishment for his unjust behavior. Treating wendë elena as a guest would help, but wasn't enough of a punishment.
'Oh no. No way. Absolutely not. I will not accompany her. Not *her*. Elena, of all people!'
'She doesn't know anyone else here in Mirkwood, except for you. You brought her here, you accompany her. I do not wish to be disappointed in you.'
'You win, father. I will accompany her'
'Which reminds me; how long will you be staying?'
'Three days'
'Three days? You must stay longer. At least a month'
'That will be too much of a delay'
'I haven't seen you in years. I need at least two weeks to hear and tell of all events'
'Fine. Two weeks from now. But not a day longer'
~*~ Galion's POV ~*~
I followed the girl as she left the king and the prince. The look on my liege's face had been enough to tell me to keep an eye on her. Which made good sense seeing as she had drunk five glasses of the heady Dorwinion wine. She wandered through the hallways, obviously without a clue where she was headed and that she was being followed. Suddenly she stopped. I his behind a pillar, carefully watching her. She looked around; lost. It made perfect sense, the royal wing was a maze to strangers. It was a miracle that she found it in the first place. She said some things in a language I don't understand nor do I wish to; it sounded rather nasty. She didn't seem to know what she was doing there either. Obviously drunk.
'Can I help you?' the girl turned around and looked at the prince.
'Yes' she answered. Silence fell.
'With what can I help you?' the prince asked.
'I think I'm lost' she looked as if she was about to faint.
'Where do you want to go? Where is your room?'
'I don't know. I... don't... think I have a room...'
'Are you alright?'
'Yes, yes, I'm fine. I think.' She fell forward, but the prince caught her.
'Are you sure?' he looked down at the girl that was now in his arms. She focused her eyes on him, as if she couldn't see clearly.
'I think that...' the girl whispered.
'Yes?' the prince lowered his head as if to hear her better, even though it wasn't necessary.
'I think that maybe I'm going to kiss you' she said. The prince grinned amusedly; he didn't seem too sober either, though more conscious of what he was doing.
'Oh really?'
'I think so'
'Maybe you should get some sleep'
'No'
'I think you should'
'Will you tuck me in?'
'Sure'
'And I want a kiss goodnight' she said triumphantly. The prince smiled.
'Any other wishes?' he joked. The girl nodded, then suddenly pulled the prince's head down and kissed him. I blinked. That was fast... I blinked again. The prince was kissing her back. He was kissing a girl with fin- ninniach... well I guess there's no arguing about taste...
Hey, where'd they go?
~*~ Elena's POV ~*~
Imagine waking up without opening your eyes, feeling better than ever. Imagine your head and hand lying on a muscular chest. Imagine the entire body being well in shape, and yourself lying against it. Imagine one of his hands on your waist, the other going slowly through your hair. Imagine knowing that neither of you is wearing anything. Imagine his lips meeting yours and kissing him blindly, not once opening your eyes but simply enjoying the situation. Imagine drawing back, opening your eyes and screaming in terror. That's right; you're looking in the face of Legolas Greenleaf.
In a split second I sat up straight and wrapped the sheets around me, clutching to them as if it was my dear life. I looked at him and his amused grin, then blinked. He was still there. Butt-naked. Oh my God. Oh my fucking God. Literally. Shut up, bitch. Yeah, whatever. Confused now...
Just then the door went open and Legolas walked in. I looked at him and blinked. Was this some kind of hangover side effect? Then I blinked again. He didn't disappear. That's when it dawned me.
'Holy shit! There's two of you!' I exclaimed. The Legolas in the doorway stared at us (his eyes almost bulging out) with wide-open mouth.
'YOU!' he pointed his finger at me in accusation, his eyes still open wide. 'YOU!' he now pointed his finger at -who the hell was he anyway?- Legolas #2 on the bed, even more accusing than he had done before. It was clear that he was confused. Join the club, boy. Suddenly he turned around and left the room, closing the door behind him. I blinked. Okay... I turned to Legolas #2, and realized that he couldn't be Legolas. He still had hair. Suddenly he stuck out his hand.
'Tinwë, pleasure to meet you' he said. Confusedly I took it and we shook hands.
'Uh, yeah... pleasure to meet you too... I guess...' Tinwë grinned a damn sexy grin that made his eyes twinkle. 'Listen, uhm, Tinwë. Can I ask you a question?'
'Sure, go ahead'
'Who the hell are you?'
He grinned again. Must be the reason why I gave in to him and/or jumped him last night. Can't seem to remember which.
'I'm my father's second son'
'Very funny, Elf. Then who is your father?'
'King Thranduil, of course'
Beat.
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E/N: Sooooooo... how'd you guys like Legolas's reaction to finding Elena with Tinwë? Well, I hope you liked it. Sort of a cliffhanger, but the next chapter is almost done, so it's not all that evil. Next chapter will be, though. *insert evil laughter here* Uh, yeah... whatever. Oh yeah, I forgot: I WAS BORN ON THE SAME DAY AS ELIJAH WOOD AND HE'S A CUTIE!!! Sorry. Had to get it out of my system.
Love, peace and a paperclip,
-xxx- Elvea
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Elvea's Elvish Helpdesk. Sort of.
Please note that these phrases took ages to get right. Hard work's been put into them, forgive me if a mistake is made in one or two places.
Daro! - Stop!
Man ná elyë? - Who are you?
Im Legolas, ernil Eryn Lasgalen a ion e Thranduil - I am Legolas, prince of Mirkwood and son of Thranduil.
Legolas Thranduilion? Úquétima! - Legolas son of Thranduil? Impossible!
Im Legolas Thranduilion! Hîr lín! - I am Legolas son of Thranduil! Your lord!
A im Eru Ilúvatar - And I'm Eru Ilúvatar
Hin ná beth nín vedui len. Im Legolas Beleg Thranduilion, ernil Eryn Lasgalen a im daritha an úner - These are my last words for you. I'm Legolas Beleg son of Thranduil and I stop for no man (freely: no one)
Mae govannen, ernil Legolas. Man ná híril? - Well met, prince Legolas. Who is the lady?
Ú ná híril. Ná 'rach. - She's not a lady. She's a curse.
'Rach? - A curse?
'Rach a del - A curse and a horror
Mae govannen - Well met
Ú mae govannen, edhel nibin - Not well met, petty Elf
A tiro men, Fanuilos - Watch over us, Elbereth
Mae govannen ada - Well met, father
Mae govannen, ion nin - Well met, my son
Esserya? - Her name?
wendë elena - maiden of the stars
fin-ninniach - rainbow(colored)-hair
wendë en fin-ninniach - maiden with rainbow-colored hair
ion nin - my son
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SOME PEOPLE REVIEWED TWICE ON ONE CHAPTER! THEY DID GET TWO REPLIES!!! (Yes, I'm sick. Sue me.)
anonomous: Thank you! Always good to get a compliment, I suppose.
Gizmo: Sure I'll keep you informed! (But you already knew that, right?) Hope I didn't scare you with this chapter. Freaked out some friends who beta-ed for me, so hope you're alright. If not... I'll get back on you for that one. No really, I will. I know the phone number of the mental institution near my house (don't ask), so if you need help... THE ELVES IN WHITE COATS ARE COMING FOR YOU!!! Right. Never mind that.
ola: Tsk, tsk... forgot to review, huh? Nah, don't sweat it. It's optional, not like you have to do it. (Although I do enjoy reading reviews. Good for my Leggy's Big Ego Syndrome. Bad for me, though.) And you don't have to beg for more of the story (but I won't stop you either. Makes me feel almighty. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Yeah, whatever.), I enjoy writing this too much to quit. Not going too fast though. Oh well, gotta live with that. No one's perfect. (My name's No one sometimes... =P stuff it.)
ElvenPickle: Dying? That's not to good, eh? How about I give you some really sexy Legolas-mental images as a remedy until I update? Sound like a plan? Or do you prefer someone else? Like Frodo? *droolz* Need to replace keyboard. Wrecked it again. Sigh. Want to thank you for my 100th review, was really nice of you. Never thought I'd make it that far. The soon didn't really work out, unfortunately. Don't get on your knees just yet. Not like I'm pointing an arrow at your face (yet). Mweh, am in an evil mood. Don't know what is wrong, really. Am supposed to be the Goddess of all Good. Oh well, daddy Eru can stuff it. *gets her butt zapped* That happens all the time. Gets annoying. It's not easy having an almighty god as your father, you know... you should be feeling sorry for me now, by the way. Cool links help! Really, they do!
Karone: You're actually counting the days? Okaaaaaaay... obsessive... not that it's a bad thing, though. I think. (I'm actually thinking? Freaking self out. V. bad habit.) No need to get desperate either. There's lots of good stories out there! Like... like... I'll tell you when I find one. Oh! I know! Like OFUM part 1 and 2! And the VSD's! Have you read the new ones yet? Concerning "Scheveningen": you'd like to know, wouldn't you? It is, up to a certain level, part of the plot. Not a big role, but it will be explained later on. You'll have to be patient, like everyone else. Sorry. "A tiro nin, Fanuilos" means "watch over me, Elbereth"; it comes from the books. And don't worry about sucking at Elvish. It's similar to Latin, and if you don't know Latin it can get tough at times. And you can write in Tengwar too? Cool! My friends and I are spreading messages in Tengwar around our school, great fun, heheh. Mani'oio.
ElvenPickle: Two reviews? Well, it's really nice that you bothered to do so, I guess. But a Mary Sue? *gasps* You scared me there! Seriously! I mean, exactly how desperate are you? Don't answer that. And really, what's with the begging?
Karone: And another one who reviewed twice... thank you, I really appreciate it! but how could you forget about my story? Tsk. Nah, just kidding. But don't go on your knees. Makes you seem so dependant. And you can live without some silly fic of an insane girl, right? RIGHT?!!!
Oasisrocker: fan-bloody-tastic? Nice term. Don't think I've heard it before. I actually like the sound. Maybe I should use it in school et cetera. *rubs chin thoughtfully* Yes Precious, that woulds be very good idea, Preciousss... ignore that last bit. Have Gollum-Syndrome. Glad that you like the killer horse from hell bit, it's one of my personal favorites. And you actually feel sorry for Elena being PHYSICALLY attracted to Legsie- dearest? Interesting. Although a little late: Happy New Year to you too.
Sandman: |:o) I'm glad that you think it's still coming along nicely. The Leggy-torture, I mean. Personally I feared that it was getting a little less with every chapter I wrote. (This will change next chapter, the evillest chapter yet. Is evillest even a word?) And have you gotten over the writer's block? I hope so. It's the most terrible thing that could possibly happen, and I always hope it goes away quickly. Only better. Although sometimes it's necessary to have a period without inspiration to continue brilliantly. This is me being wise and philosophical. Feel free to be scared.
*~*FoXy_LaDy*~*: I'm glad you enjoyed chapter one so much that it made you cry. I hope you liked the other chapters just as much; I'm trying to get it right. Takes me a while, though. Am such a silly bint sometimes.
Phoenix Flight: My friends and I laughed our asses off at your idea of "The Hair Wars", it's fan-bloody-tastic! Picked up that term from Oasisrocker (see above). Love it. As for Elena having the disadvantage when it comes to pranks... hoo boy, next chapter things will change... *dundundun* Chapter Seven: The Evil Chapter. Sugar high. Don't ask. Heheh, yeah, I liked the cutting hair as well. Was hard to think of a way to make him do it though. Thank daddy Eru I had some help.
Griffinkhan: :) Thank you! Nice to know that you like them. (Although I don't see how anyone can like Legolas. He's an annoying Captain Obvious. Movie-Legolas, mind you, not the book-one.) You should be happy to know that they won't fall in love. About Lake Town: we're both right. Lake Town was indeed rebuilt, but not in the same spot. If you read the book carefully, you'll notice Tolkien telling about it being built farther north along the lake, away from Smaug's cursed corps. Made it clear now?
Ril-Gania: He did that, you know. Wasn't that bad. Had a nice laugh together. But then again, he's Bertram. Always laughing when with him. Of course, you know that better than anyone else, don't you ;) ? Do you really want to know how I come up with this stuff? I doubt it. Oh and Orli dun hate me for writing it. He wiser than that. Sooo... tell him I said hi. Need to tease him againon Legsie some day. Dunno why, just feel evil.
ElvenPickle: Third review in a row. You like keeping me busy, don't you? Love the bitchy website. Agree we should have a bumper sticker. No, even better, loads of them to terrorize the world with. *insert evil laughter* Legolas, worth a broken skateboard? Not up to me to judge. Ask Elena.
Karone: is this some sort of conspiracy? Three reviews at a time? Oh well, I suppose it's flattering... well, don't really know what to say anymore... oh yeah! Did your friends like the story?
Lossie Alqua: Yet another leaving two reviews... *shakes head* Honestly, you people... btw, the vampire-thing was not an insult. And a berry? Riiiiiiiight... Hope you didn't hurt yourself running into that lamp... thanks for the cappucino, am an addict. Well, as I said, no Legomance. But remember, Elena's not me. I made her up.
WinterRose: Yeah, yeah... but I just like to hear it, you know... *grin* Ah yes, Legolas's huge ego really is contagious... shoot me if it gets too bad, please. No wait, don't. I wanna kick Endy's ass again at Magic first. Mweheh, said she was invincible. Psht. Don't mind me, I'm in a very good mood. Meaning I feel like kicking something. Shut up Estel. Have you met Estel yet? I hope not. He's my evil twin brother, living inside of my head. Very annoying bloke. Yeah, whatever. I thought I told you to shut up?
Jazz: Leggo with spikes is sexy!!! DUH!!! Picture it! *drool* Hell, I'm drooling, and I'm not even a Legolas fan! Not really, anyway. Besides, know what Orli looks like with spikes? Myum... don't mind that. Eline (NOT Elena, am not her, she not me) taking over again. Silly bint. MPD so irritating. So getting you into trouble at times... *sigh* But anyway, the girls won't run away from him. Maybe they'll see it as a pleasant change. And even if they don't, he's still the crown prince of Mirkwood. Besides, it'll grow back... eventually... maybe not when Elena gets to be around him longer... plotting conspiracy now... certainly with the Black Speech... I actually frightened the shit out of my Geography teacher with it... never mind, long story. Lotta fun, though. Am thinking about using the quotes more actively in the story, that should please you. Sorry to keep you waiting btw, didn't mean to. Really, I didn't! Shut up Mandy. She annoying. Hey!
LBFREAK: You actually enjoy Legolas in great pain? That is just SICK! Wait, I wrote it... I am worse... okay, forget I said that. I salute you back, for I will not have a Legomance. I realized it would make the story turn into a Mary Sue-y cliché, and that was everything I didn't want. Mweh. As for the dream-elf... well she met an Elf in Mirkwood, and she did some dreaming next to him... that count? No? Ugh. Fine. Whatever. Bite me. On second thought, don't. This implies I had first thoughts. Shut up, Eline. Here's a tip: never listen to disembodied voices. It's only what the voices in MY head say though. Stuck to plot. Go me! 4 weeks didn't work out, did it? I wanna make it though. Hmmm... maybe I could make my sis promise to gimme cookies if I make it... just might work. Yeah, I could try that... I give up. Am a total disaster.
Gollumsess: Death to Leggie's hair? Uh, yeah... whatever, dude. You dn't really sound like a fan of our Legsie-dearest, or are you? That would require some explanation then... hmmm... take your time... oh yeah, it's not why she hates Jason. You'll find out, it's a major of the plot. Just have to wait a while. All I can say is that her hate has a much deeper reason.
Kat: I'm glad you like the pranks as well. Now that they're on a short break of their journey, there'll be much more time for those kinda things, and much more supplies as well. Hell yeah, I have some *very* creative ideas. *evil laughter inserted here* Yay! I created a classic! Sorta. Oh, whatever. Bite me. No, don't. yes, do. NO!!! Ignore Estel. He's an annoying voice in my head. Flirts with anything, really anything, that breathes. Very disturbing. Need to do something about the speed I write with... so bad... honestly. Thank daddy Eru I didn't get too many reviews requesting romance, but was still enough to get me doubting for a moment. Decided to stick to plot. Was best solution.
Risu-chan: Kewl! I'm getting Leggy-fans to laugh at him. Heheh, I just might be able to pull them all over to... *dundundun* the Dark Side. MUHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Feeling Diabolical Master Plan coming up. Or actually, the Éomer fanclub. Not much of a difference, really. Éomer's a cutie. Stuff it. ??? Didn't follow self there. Kept writing, happy?
Black Pearl: I terrified you with afro Legolas? Sorry... next time I'll make it purple-haired afro Legolas with yellow ribbons. That scare you? Good. Seeing as I'm the author of this fic, and know how I want to end it; I do know if they'll call a truce or not. What I think doesn't matter. But what do you think?
Lady Eowyn: *rubs temples to get rid of headache she got from ~someone~ making noise in the Hall of Reviews* Still nice to see people that enthusiastic though. Don't feel offended! Question is now... what will Elena, Legolas and Tinwë do? And how about Thrandy? Heheh, have evil ideas... oh yeah... more fighting on the way. Oh yes. More evilness as well, although not just from Legsie-dearest. And making Elena seem psycho? Uh, perhaps... oh yeah. I dyed my hear ruby-red. Just thought I'd mention.
Yavanna: :) Meep! Am back. *re-reads phrase* Meep? Ignore that. Took me bloody long, didn't it? I'll be damned if I take this long for next chapter! Ugh. But... no Legomance, just like I said at start of the story. Have a much better idea. More evil, better for the plot, and probably a lot funnier as well. Yeah, whatever. Anyway, feel like being evil. Don't go anywhere near Holland for the coming month, okay? At your own risk...
lil' odd me: You're welcome! You deserved the honor. After all, it was you idea... but don't get to proud of it. I just might get daddy Eru to zap your sorry butt to Angband. Never mind. Well, Endy's working on the new chapter of Highschool... not going too fast though. I threatened to send you after her if she doesn't hurry. For some reason or other she's scared of you... care to explain why?
Self Proclaimed Legolas Fangirl: |:o) Brilliant is my favorite word. Really, it is! I like the sound. Might have something to do with Elijah's favorite words, tho. Oh well. I imagine feeling sorry for Elena, but why Legolas? He's an asshole. (One of the reviewers said so, it's not my words!) But I'm glad you like Leggy with spikes. I know what it looks like and trust me... *drool* Forget I did that. Am a Frodo fan girl. No really, I am!
Meggie-S: Your review was actually a bit disturbing. In the good way, though. Haven't had that many reviews of people wanting to adopt me, you see. Certainly not of people that aren't even 18. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it took me damn long enough!
Special thanks goes to SHANNON, who was kind enough to send me an email to tell me what she thinks of my story, in stead of being lazy and pressing the review button. (Not that I don't appreciate that...) Shannon, thanks for your email. It's really nice to get a message like that. I hope you liked the new chapter.
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E/N: *insert usual plea for review here* Too lazy to type it out.