IOHITF – WARNING!!! Contains Legolas-mocking!!!
E/N: Moof. I did it! Even after losing the file twice, I finished within a month! Yay me! It's a miracle! Am so proud of self... mweh, never mind. Oh yeah, everybody, go read my poem about the One Ring, it's nice! Really! Anyway... I'll shut up now.
Love, peace and a paperclip,
-xxx- Elvea
Disclaimer: I do not own anything that New Line Cinema or Tolkien Enterprises already owns *sobs* and I am not gaining any other profit out of writing this than (positive) reviews and a good laugh when I think of a new cruel way to annoy Legolas. So there! I do not own the song used in the chapter either, it belongs to Birgit. I just altered it to fit my mood. Bite me.
This chapter is dedicated to Gizmo LittleWing, simply for being a great chatterbox online, really a very nice contact. As for what she added to the story: she kindly allowed me to use the name Lell'ias, which I personally find very cute. I recommend her story 'When We Were 1000'; it's really worth the time reading. Now skedaddle and get to reading the rest of the nonsense I decided to post this time.
Random insanity of the author: Bite me, I'm Indonesian. I'm pleasantly insane. Pleasant for me, insane for you. (Thanks Mae!)
WARNING: Chapter contains scarcely (and not) dressed sibling of Legolas. Just so you're prepared. No sexual nudity, so rating does not go up, unless you think it's necessary.
"The Eldar wedded once only in life, and for love or at the least by free will upon either part. (...) In due time the betrothal was announced at a meeting of the two houses concerned, and the betrothed gave silver rings one to another. (...) ...ceremonies were not rites necessary to marriage; they were only a gracious mode by which the love of the parents was manifested, and the union was recognized which would join not only the betrothed but their two houses together. It was the act of bodily union that achieved marriage, and after which the indissoluble bond was complete." (Morgoth's Ring, edited by Christopher Tolkien, Part 3 – Laws and Customs among the Eldar)
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Chapter 7 – Killing with Kindness
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~*~ Elena's POV ~*~
Yeah, try to handle that.
So there I was, sitting naked on the bed of one of Mirkwood's princes, having no clue whatsoever how I ended up there. I didn't remember anything from last night, nothing at all. I knew that whatever happened must've been good, yes indeed very nice, but I didn't remember a thing. Damn. Why do those things always happen to me? Tinwë, in the meantime, had gone into his private bathroom to take a bath (that was about an hour ago) and hadn't returned yet. During that hour I'd done some thinking, only to continuously end back up with that one crucial question: now what?
Tinwë finally came out of the bathroom and walked to a large wooden closet that stood against a wall near –what I guessed to be- the main door of his room. I looked at him as he was picking clothes. He sure has a nice ass... WHAT? Haven't you ever heard of hormones? The silence that accompanied everything he did was driving me crazy.
'Now what?' I mused out loud.
'The bathroom's free' he replied dryly.
'No! I mean you and- free?'
He nodded. Bathroom! Bath! Bathing without being guarded by Legolas's evil killer horse from hell! In my rush to get to the bathroom I jumped up and leaped off the bed, dropping the sheets I had previously been holding so carefully. In an instant I wished I hadn't done so. No sheets, no clothes... oopsy?
'Towel?' Tinwë grinned as he held a large, forest green towel out to me. I glared at him and snatched the item from his hands, then quickly wrapped it around me. Stupid Elf.
~*~
I dried myself, wrapped the towel around me and walked back into the bedroom. I looked around. Tinwë was gone and... Where the hell were my clothes? I sat down on the bed. What else was there to do? Walk around an underground palace/maze dressed in naught but a towel in search of my clothes and/or food? I don't think so. Hopefully Tinwë will return soon; I wasn't planning on waiting in this bloody room all day, although now I was being forced to do so. I had no clothes, nor did I know my way around the palace. He'd better be back soon; I'm bloody starving!
A knock on a door interrupted my annoyed train of thoughts. I looked around the room again. Great, just great. The room only had eleven doors... Middle-earth sucks. Now where is that bloody nurse with the medication when you need her? Another knock followed. Why did the room have so many doors anyway? And why was it so bloody big? I stood up, holding the towel tightly and walked to the nearest door. I opened it and found out that it was a camouflaged closet filled with lots of elven equivalents of PJ's, I suppose. Next door. Oh right, the bathroom. I should've remembered that. Yeah whatever. Bite me.
And what's behind door number three? Another bedroom apparently. Why would Prince Legolas the Second need two bedrooms anyway? Split personalities? Behind the fourth door was some kind of mini-bar, although not really mini. I walked across the room to the fifth door and opened it. Eureka! A maid rushed in and closed the door behind her.
'Aranel Elena! Good that I found you! Oh! Look at you! I can't take you to your husband looking like that! Oh! And the king! What would he think? Goodness! Here, sit down... let's do something bout those colours!'
Confusedly I sat down in the chair the maid held out for me. 'Husband?'
'You're married. Remember? Prince Tinwë? You do remember your spouse, don't you? Oh, prince Tinwë is such a chaotic person. He really needs to learn something about responsibility. After all, the two of you are married now...'
Come again?
~*~ Tinwë's POV ~*~
I watched father as he restlessly paced around the room, a frustrated look on his face. He started his umpteenth lecture of the day on how I could have been so irresponsible as to get in bed with the first female I ran into, without considering the consequences. I knew that the act of body meant marriage by our laws, right? So why had I done it? All these questions he kept asking me without waiting for an answer. Now Legolas for instance. Take a look at him! A much more responsible son than me, and not rushing into action like me. That's why I ended up being married to a girl of whom I didn't even know the name and Legolas was still the most wanted Elf of Mirkwood, despite his lack of hair.
Legolas, Legolas, Legolas... how I hated my older brother. Mister Perfect. Father never really said it with words, but Legolas was his favourite son. Legolas the better warrior, Legolas the wiser one, Legolas the witty one, Legolas the brave, Legolas of the Fellowship... Take a look at Legolas, Tinwë. He knows how to fill in what he's better at this time. It makes me sick. No matter what I did, it was never good enough to father. Legolas had always been the one who really made him proud. I accepted that fact long ago, though at some times it would still sting. Father fell silent.
'What do you expect me to say, ada?'
'What have you got to say to this all?'
'I will deal with the consequences. There's nothing else I can do. I can't turn back time. I can't undo what has been done'
'And the girl?'
'What about her? She can stay here with me in the palace, right? With title of princess and all?'
'What if she doesn't want that?'
'What do you mean ada? Why wouldn't she want to?'
'She's not from here. Your brother took her prisoner and was on his way to Rivendell with her'
'Rivendell?'
'Let me finish. She wishes to go home, and Legolas wishes to be rid of her, I believe'
'Prisoner?' father nodded. 'And she's from Rivendell?'
'No, but Lord Elrond knows how to get her home. It's quite complicated. She's not from Ambar-endya'
'Then where does she come from?'
'She says she's from Doregon or something that sounded similar'
'But... she will leave me then? And I will remain here, alone, but married, for the rest of eternity'
'I fear it will be so'
It was now that I was beginning to understand it all. She wanted to go home, I caused her trouble, not to mention the trouble she caused me and the trouble I had brought upon myself. No wonder father was so angry with me. He already thought me to be nothing but trouble, and now I had proven myself to be that exactly.
'How long will she stay here, before Legolas takes her to Rivendell?' I asked.
'Two weeks, she leaves eleven* days from now'
'My lords, may I interrupt your conversation for a moment?' a maid asked as she entered the room.
'Is everything taken care of?' father asked.
'Yes, my lord. She has been taken to the healers; her wound has been tended. Her hair has also been taken care of and she has been dressed in appropriate clothing.'
'Very good, let me see her.'
The maid bowed and left the room, only to return moments later. 'My lords, I present to you Aranel Elena.' So that was her name... Elena...
I watched her as she entered the room, taking small and careful steps. The colour of her hair was no longer ninniach but chestnut, matching with her eyes. She had been dressed in a pine-coloured gown embroidered with leaf-patterns of fine silver silk. She looked beautiful in it; the maid had done an excellent job. Elena seemed quite insecure and uncomfortable wearing the dress though, and although she seemed to have some trouble moving in it, she walk up straight, proud and quite dignified. She tripped on the skirt of her dress. Father managed to catch her and helped her back on her feet.
'I'm sorry' she said. Father smiled encouragingly at her. She stood there for a moment, confused, then something dawned her and she bowed to father. She turned and bowed to me as well, a bit stiffly.
~*~ Elena's POV ~*~
Damn protocol. Damn elvish laws. Damn Middle-earth. Tinwë and Thranduil had explained the whole situation to me and it turned out that to Elves sex was marriage -I'm sure that I read that somewhere and should've remembered it sooner, but having a gorgeous naked Elf next to you in bed really can blur the mind- and that meant that I was now married to Tinwë. Also, Elves are monogamous and don't have divorces. Their marriages last forever, even in death. How about that?
So now I wouldn't be given a room in the guest wing, but that room next to Tinwë's. I would also get my own maids and a whole new wardrobe. (Probably consisting of lots of dresses – all impossible to move around in, of course.) Plus I had been given the title princess. Princess Elena. It does have a certain ring to it, doesn't it? Maybe this whole marriage thing wasn't too bad after all...
The downside was that I had to learn a whole lot of things. I had to learn the protocol, everything about the ways of Elves, I needed to learn how to dance (the real thing, not the disco kind), which fork to use at dinner et cetera. Daddy Thranduil (I'm sure he'll kill me if I say that out loud) had also decided that I should get some training in sword fighting and such because he didn't want me to be a damsel in distress if ever I would come across orcs or other icky types of creatures again. Honestly, for an accidental father-in-law he really ain't half bad...
Wait a minute... this means that...
LEGOLAS IS MY BROTHER-IN-LAW!!!
I hate this world.
'About the feast tonight...' Thranduil said.
'Yes?' I asked.
'The original plan was for Legolas to accompany you, but that, of course, isn't possible now that the two of you are married. So my proposal is that you, Tinwë, are her companion for the evening and that you teach her some things about our ways before tonight.'
Tinwë nodded. I looked at him. My husband. My husband. I was married, how realistic is that? Elves + sex = marriage. Judging the way I felt this morning, that must have been one hell of a wedding. Only I didn't remember a thing. Blasted wine, I want a retry! Tinwë sure is a damn sexy Elf. Hey, he's my husband now, so I'm sure I'll be fine. This is actually the first time that luck's on my side since I ended up in this world.
The only thing that kept bothering me was whether or not I should stay here in Mirkwood with Tinwë, or go home. I still wanted to go home, but having a husband here gave some complications. I can't just leave him. But I can't take him home either. Imagine what would happen if I took my very own pointy-eared bow-twanger / Legolas look-a-like / Tinwë out in modern-day earth... He'd be stampeded by hordes of hormone-driven, screaming fan girls. I couldn't possibly do that to him. Plus, there were my parents and Jason. What was I supposed to say? Hi mom, I went to Middle-earth, wedded Legolas's identical twin brother –were they even twins? I'm not sure- and took him home? Mental institution, here I come...
'Well, are you coming?'
'Hmmm? I'm sorry, did you say something?' I asked. Tinwë sighed.
'You could stay here all day and stare at me, but I assume that you are hungry, so would you accompany me for a late breakfast?' he asked.
'I'd be delighted.' I answered. Tinwë grinned.
'Of course,' he replied, 'because you're with me.'
I grinned, and couldn't help noticing Thranduil's sudden fit of coughs. Pride must run in the family. But I like Tinwë, and I like Thranduil, so apparently Legolas is the only family member I can't stand. Oh well, there's a bad egg in every family I suppose.
~*~ Legolas's POV ~*~
Elena and Tinwë. You gotta be kidding me. This is a nightmare. I never walked in on them. It never happened. Not real. Nu-uh. That would make Elena Tinwë's wife and thus my sister-in-law. Oh no, absolutely not. Tinwë is bad enough on his own, and Elena is bad enough on her own. Those two put together... dear Elbereth, tell me it's not true...
I took a bite of my bread with honey and stared into my half-empty glass of wine. One moment your father tells you to wake up your brother so he can be introduced to the new, honoured guest; -prisoner, thank you- the next moment you find them together in his bed. Any blind man could see what had happened last night. But how in the world had they met? And how in the world could Tinwë have been stupid enough to end up with Elena? Elena, of all people! Wait, scrap that last question. Tinwë never was the wise one of the family.
Speaking of evil, they just entered the room together. So it's true... Both of them were clad in dark green, the maids had probably seen to that. They were a lovely couple though; two fools in matching clothes. Tinwë laughed at something Elena said, looked at me and laughed even louder. I glared at the girl. Elena smiled at me and the couple came sitting next to me.
'So I guess we're related now, Legsie' Elena beamed. Legsie! For that alone I should make her die a gruesome death. Tinwë was grinning. And he should die along with her. Call me Legsie and be amused... But it's still better than "Legging-las" I suppose...
'Uh, yes. Marvellous.' I poured my wine down my throat all at once. Elena smiled again.
'I'm so happy that you're taking the new so well! I- We feared you'd be upset.'
'No, no... of course not...' I replied. Tinwë motioned for a servant to come and asked for a small two-person breakfast. I ordered more wine.
'So, can I call you "brother", then?' Elena asked. She smiled sweetly. What's with all the smiles...?
'Yes, of course' I said curtly. Did I just say yes? I just said yes! I meant no! By the beauty of Lúthien Tinúviel, what is wrong with me?
'Great! We're gonna be such good friends!' she said enthusiastically. Gilthoniel, what have I done wrong to deserve this? Wait, don't answer that. The servant returned with my wine.
'Yes. Well, I'll see you two at the feast tonight, so have a nice day.'
Elena pouted. 'But you haven't finished your wine yet, Lell'ias!' –who told her about that name? Tinwë!- 'You must stay with us for breakfast.'
'Yes, my dear brother, we would be greatly pleased.' Tinwë agreed. Stuff the politeness. Why oh why did I ever decide to take Elena to Mirkwood? How will I ever be able to put up with this couple for two weeks?
'Very well then,' I suppressed a sigh, 'I'll stay. But not long, I need to see father. There are some important things to discuss.' I glanced shortly at Tinwë. He nodded. Good, he knew what about. I wondered what Elena would do; would she still try to go home by seeking Lord Elrond's counsel? Or would she stay here with Tinwë? And when she did decide to leave for Rivendell, who would escort her there; Tinwë, or I?
~*~ Elena's POV ~*~
New strategy. Killing Legolas, or Legsie-dearest, with kindness. So far it was coming along quite nicely, and this was only the beginning. Before the end of the evening Legsie would be wishing for bitchiness. I grinned.
'May I ask what is so amusing?' the seamstress asked as she continued her work, using me as a living tailor's dummy.
'Prince Legolas' I responded.
'Right arm up please... yes, thank you. Prince Legolas? How so?'
'He's changed since we arrived here in Mirkwood-'
'Eryn Lasgalen' she corrected me.
'Eryn Lasgalen. Whatever.'
'I don't see what's so amusing'
'During our journey he was continuously the ohtar-edhel, not to be argued with. Since we arrived here he's been doing everything the king tells him to, and he's much less annoying. He has nothing to say here and he obviously doesn't like it.'
The Elf-girl laughed. 'He's always been like that, ever since he was but a princeling –arm down, stretch the left one- he's a proud one to deal with.'
'A hard nut to crack... I've been putting up with him for one and a half months now, I think. I'm not sure how much time has gone by, really'
'You did not count the days? I always thought that Men kept close account of such things...'
'Well, I did keep some account... but only periods of fifteen days at the longest.'
'Do you remember the date you left? –arm down, turn around'
'No, not by your reckoning at any rate'
'I see... so you and the crown prince do not get along well'
'Not at all'
'How so?'
'Because he consists for 99% of pride'
The seamstress snickered. 'Done.'
I stepped down from the stool and turned around to face the large mirror that hung on one of my new closets in my brand new room in Mirkwood. I looked at my reflection. The seamstress had clothed me in an indigo dress, the fabric felt silky but didn't look like it. It looked much, much nicer. It had a tight bodice, but the skirt widened a little until it reached the ground. The dress was set with very small, white gems; all in all it could've been taken right out of a fairytale. Great. How am I going to survive the feast tonight without ruining the dress or tripping over it a gazillion times? Why haven't they ever made a Mission:Impossible on this sort of thing anyway? Because that actually would come in handy...
'Well, do you like it?' the seamstress asked.
'It's beautiful'
'I'm glad you like it'
'Just one thing...'
'Which is...?'
'How do you walk in it?'
The seamstress chuckled. What?
~*~
My first elven party. What to say about it? A lot. A lot of elvish alcohol, to be precise. Elvish liquor, elvish wine, elvish brandy, elvish something-or-other... note there was no Bailey's. How can one survive without Bailey's? It's soooo essential for any party. Maybe not in Middle-earth though.
And the food... wow... I thought that the banquet in Minas Tirith was terrific, but this... all kinds of meats, fruits, vegetables... various kinds of breads from sweet to salty, cakes, pies... the richest kinds of things you would ever see stood right in front of you, served with the sweetest meads, rich of flavour, any type of drink with or without alcohol. Drinking ordinary water was suddenly a feast on its own.
Elves like singing and dancing as well. They love it. They sometimes dance so fast that simply watching them makes you dizzy. Let alone trying to dance with them. Not for me... I'll be wallflower tonight. And their music... so beautiful. In one word: enchanting. It's so perfect, it sounds so good that it gives you goose bumps. Elves have fair voices, and have talent for playing instruments. I'm not sure, but violin and harp were among those played. One second of listening to elvish music and your taste of music changes for good; whether you previously only listened to heavy metal or hip hop, nothing measures up to it.
Another thing Elves enjoy doing at parties is story-telling and listening to stories. They wanted to know all about the journey Legolas and I had made; not a single detail would they let us skip in telling. Thus it came to pass that before long pretty much every Elf in Mirkwood knew all about the journey and what had happened along the road. Of course Tinwë wasn't left alone either, they wanted to know everything concerning the wedding. Why his brother's prisoner and why the sudden decision? Tinwë didn't tell them a single thing though (a very wise decision, if I may say so myself). I decided to shut up about the ridiculous situation as well and the subject was soon dropped. Unfortunately this ended in a thing far worse than telling about the wedding: the Elves wanted me to sing for them. Problem: I suck at singing. How do I get myself out of this mess?
'Why won't you sing, Elena? Do you realize that it's an insult to the people if you don't? Not a very wise thing to do on your first day as a princess...' Legolas grinned devilishly. Evil Elf. He knows how much it will humiliate me. If only I could get back on him somehow... an evil plan started taking shape in my mind.
'Oh, I will. I'm just thinking about which song I shall sing, dear brother,' I replied sweetly. An approving mumbling rose from the crowd.
'Let me guess, a song from that stupid world of yours.'
'I don't know any songs from here.'
'But you do know the inscription of the One Ring in its original form?'
I ignored that comment. 'You'll love the song.' I turned to Thranduil; he was sitting on my right side next to Tinwë. On Thranduil's other side sat an Elf-maiden that looked vaguely like Legolas and Tinwë, but we hadn't been introduced. Maybe later. 'I wish to dedicate my song to Prince Legolas' I told Thranduil. He smiled approvingly.
'That sounds like an excellent idea. But, if I may ask, why Legolas and not your spouse Tinwë?'
'Because Legolas is the reason that I'm here.' I explained. From the corner of my eye I could see the little bit of colour that Legolas usually has on his face disappeared entirely. Prepare for total humiliation boy.
'What's the song called?' Tinwë asked, glancing shortly at his brother.
'It's called "I know".' I answered. Thranduil rose and announced that I would sing my song now, to the people of Mirkwood present tonight and Legolas in particular, I dedicated it to him. He named the title of the song and sat back down. I rose from my seat on the dais and smiled. Applause rose and died down again.
'Thank you,' I said, 'There's no need for further introduction, and so I'd like to sing my song for Prince Legolas and for all of you now.' I held my breath for a moment, here goes nothing...
"This wine, your eyes,
Matching so sublime
And I'm sure I poor define, boy
Yes with grace
I'll throw it in your face
And make 'em laugh
In a very public place" Laughs towards Legolas from the crowd.
"If you won't listen to what I say, boy
Just be sure to slink away
My knee, your crotch
You will only feel the pain
Of a girl unrestrained" More laughs.
"It was cruel, I know
I know I love it
It was crass, I know
I know I had to
And I think you know
You know you needed it bad" By now Elves were rolling on the floor laughing (the tipsy ones, anyway) and Legolas looked as if he was ready to use me for target practice. Thranduil and Tinwë were trying to hold back laughter, tears stood in their twinkling eyes.
"Ain't it time to read the signs, boy
Can't you see I draw the line, boy
Don't you feel I just had enough
And I'm about
I'm about to play it rough
It was cruel, I know
I know I love it
It was crass, I know
I know I had to
And I think you know
You know you needed it bad
And I'm no saint
I will not be contained, no way
No way, no way I'll be tamed, no way" Tinwë and Thranduil lost their fight and started laughing uncontrollably.
"Yes I'm cruel, I know
I know I love it
I'm crass, I know
I know I have to
I'm cruel, I know
I know I love it
And I think you know
You know you need it
I know, I know I love it
I'm crass, I know
I know I have to
And I think you know
You know you needed it bad
And I'm no saint
I will not be contained, no way
No way, no way I'll be tamed, no way
I won't be tamed."
~*~ Tinwë's POV ~*~
Loud cheers and applause followed after the ending of Elena's song, and many an Elf wanted to hear more. She may not be a good singer, but she has a brilliant way of disguising it. With the story of her and Legolas fresh in the mind this was a fantastic addition to the feast, and a very clever move. In those few minutes she had made every Elf present love her. Except for Legolas, of course. Even his friends here were laughing; but it could have something to do with the amount of wine they had drunk.
'That was the most brilliant thing I ever heard.' I complimented Elena. She beamed, Legolas glared at me. I grinned at him; I'd finally found someone who couldn't stand his pride either. I looked back at Elena. She looked beautiful when she beamed like that. She may not be an Elf and she may not be the most stunning maiden that ever walked this world, but she sure didn't look bad. No, not bad at all.
She doesn't like Legolas either; she knows how to handle him and how to get to him. From her story I knew she liked to pull pranks, and she had just proven that, even though she was poorly skilled in arts of war, she was not a damsel in distress. At first this marriage had seemed like nothing but trouble, but now it didn't seem so bad anymore. A girl that dislikes my brother... For that alone I could love her. In an impulse I jumped up, pulled her face towards mine and kissed her. I couldn't help myself. Cheers and whistles rose from the tipsy crowd. Elena drew back quite fast though, and stumbled backwards as she pulled herself from my embrace. I grinned. So obvious that I'd surprised her utterly...
In her clumsiness of stumbling backwards she hit several objects with her arm, causing them to fall over. One of those was Legolas's glass and he got (another) wine-shower from Elena. He jumped up.
'Look what you've done! You spilled my wine!'
'Would you like me to refill your glass, then?' Elena asked, smiling politely. I could hear father snicker.
'Yes! No! Huh?' Legolas looked at her in confusion, not having expected this kind of reply from her. He was not sure how to respond. He wanted to yell at her some more, but she had not directly insulted him. He was cornered.
'It's a simple yes or no question, toronya.' I said, wanting to have a share in the fun.
'It's a conspiracy.' Legolas muttered, then he left the feast in fury. Drama Queen stomping off.
'Yet another brilliant reply.' I said to the girl. She blushed.
'Thanks, I guess...'
'Would you like to dance?'
'No! I mean, uh... maybe I... this is... I don't think it would be smart.'
'Why not?'
'I can't dance.'
'Of course you can!'
'Trust me, I can't.'
'Not even a little?'
'No.'
'Then I'll teach you.' She sighed.
'Elves...' she muttered. 'Alright then.' I took her hand and led her to the dance floor.
~*~
Legolas and I must have something in common. Stubbornness: to be precise. I knew that teaching Elena how to dance wasn't a good idea, but I pressed on anyway. My poor feet... She did make some progress though; after a while she didn't stand on my feet as often as before.
Legolas did not return to the feast in his honour, he was probably off somewhere in the forest, sulking. Serves him right. Mr. Perfect. For once in my life he didn't make me feel like a total failure. For once father wasn't so wordy in praising him. For once I felt as though I had an actual chance to win.
I looked at Elena. She was sleeping soundly and peacefully in her own bed; eyes closed. For a couple of hours she wouldn't be in this world, and I wondered what she dreamt of. I sat down on the bed and leaned over her to kiss her goodnight. She shifted slightly and I feared that I might wake her up. I got up and went back into my own bedroom next to hers.
Tomorrow would be her second full day here and a lot would have to be discussed. Would she stay here with me; or leave to find her way home? Who would accompany her if she decided to leave? What would be done about Legolas's claim on her as his prisoner? What about the formal wedding? Dozens of questions popped into my head. They could wait a few hours, and I could use some rest. Having Legolas around is usually a very tiresome business.
~*~ Elena's POV ~*~
By the time I woke up it was nearly noon. My room was quiet and only very little light came from the candles someone had lit on the walls. There were no windows. Of course not, this place is underground, you silly bint. I yawned and stretched myself out. What to do? Maybe there was a "what to do in case of fire" note around somewhere, on which I could see the structure of the palace and it's numerous hallways. Oh please.
I got out of bed and walked around my room. My very large room. My abnormally large room, in the underground palace of Mirkwood, Middle-earth. Again: have I lost my mind? Just like yesterday, I started opening doors at random to see where they led. With the third I realized that it wasn't too clever. It's probably not very appropriate for a princess –bloody hell- to walk into a hallway wearing only a thin nightgown...
'Aranel Elena! What are you doing? I'm glad I found you! Oh, look at you! You're not even dressed yet! And we only have an hour and a half left! Linwen, come and help me! We need to get her ready!' a maid exclaimed. Within seconds she'd worked me back into my room, and the two maids started pulling all kinds of items out of various closets. They put a couple of chairs and stools in the centre of the room. What the-?
An hour and a half later I had bathed, my hair had been washed and put up, my face had met the elvish equivalents of make up, I had been sprinkled in sweet-scented oil, dressed in a long, white gown (yet another impossible thing to walk in) and I was wearing a bloody gorgeous necklace which the maids defined as bridal gift. Right...
'Here, take this,' the first maid handed me a silver ring, in scripted in Tengwar. I tried to read what it said but couldn't figure it out. It seemed to be a dialect of Sindarin origin. I moved to put it on my finger. 'No! You must give it to ernil Tinwë when he comes!'
'It's your engagement ring.' the second maid explained. 'After a year of engagement, at the shortest, the wedding follows. The ring is then replaced for a gold one at the wedding ceremony, but the silver one is still treasured and kept close.'
'The prince and you didn't seem to have a formal engagement, but the king finds it important that you do have a ring.' the first maid went on. A short, soft knock on one of the doors. 'That should be the prince. Well, go on, hurry! Everyone's waiting for you and the prince. Weddings are held in high regard!' she said as she shoved me through the door.
'Uh...' I turned around to get back in and get some more explanations. The door was closed and refused to open. Am I really that stupid or is Middle-earth just confusing? Don't answer that.
'Are you ready?' I turned around slowly, afraid that I might trip over my gown. Tinwë was standing in front of me, dressed in a deep blue tunic and silvery tights, his golden hair was allowed to freely fall onto his shoulders; except of course for his findi ohtar. On his brow he wore an elegant silver circlet with a bright white gem set in it. Beat me senseless and call me happy! Someone's looking drop-dead gorgeous. 'I... I've got something for you...' he said.
He turned around to a servant behind him –oh look, more people in the hallway- and fidgeted with something in a small box. He turned around again and took my right hand. Carefully he slid a small silver ring around my third finger; it fitted perfectly. Oh right, that thing! Now where'd I put his?
I reached to get it out of my pocket, then I realized that I didn't have any pockets. But if it's not in my pocket, then where is it? I looked around. There it was, lying on the floor not far from me. I'll fall if I bend to pick it up. Yup, Eru hates me all right. Or not. Anyway, a servant was so kind as to pick it up for me and handed it to me. I thanked him and turned my attention back to Tinwë. He smiled encouragingly at me. I took his hand in mine and, trying to relax, I put the ring on his finger. The other Elves softly started singing, so beautiful that it caused me to shiver for a moment. They started walking into the direction of something I wasn't sure. Tinwë took my hand in his and we followed the others, slowly. As we walked, Tinwë gently stroked my hand with his thumb.
~*~ Legolas's POV ~*~
I couldn't believe it. I just couldn't get it through my thick skull that Elena was getting the big ceremony. But then again, I wasn't over the shock of finding her and Tinwë together either. I looked as they kneeled before me; usually father wedded couples, but he was involved in the ceremony now as father of the bridegroom, thus I, the eldest son, was to take his place. Tinwë bent his head down and Elena followed his lead. I put a hand on each of their heads.
'Indis...' I looked at Elena, '...a' ender.' I looked at Tinwë.
I looked at Elena again. Her hair had been put up, on either side of her face a small lock of curly hair was left to hang free. She was wearing a long, white gown set with tiny crystals. It was tight at the top, showing a nice posture; and it was cut low, showing off the silver necklace she was wearing. Whether it was the light or something else I didn't know, but she seemed to have a faint white glow about her. In her hands she held a bouquet of alfirin flowers. She looked like a Maia just having come out of Valinor, purity itself. Seriously, what does Tinwë see in her?
'Tinwë Thranduilion, will you step forth in confidence, having the knowledge that the oath you will pledge is of utmost gravity, and thenceforth impart your oath before your intended, your family, your king, the Lords of the West and Eru Allfather?' I asked my brother. No, no... I beg you to say no...
'I will so step forth.' Tinwë answered. Is there nobody to stop this? Father, if he refuses to acknowledge! Father, please!
'Who stands with Tinwë in this hour?' I asked.
'I do' came the answer from father. I closed my eyes for a moment. I'm doomed.
'Then step forth, Tinwë, and prepare to speak your oath.' I said. Tinwë rose and stepped forward nervously; not seeing the encouraging smile father sent him. Idiot. I turned to Elena. She could still say no. 'Elena, daughter of Roderick,' –what kind of name is that?- 'Will you step forth in confidence, having the knowledge that the oath you will pledge is of utmost gravity, and thenceforth impart your oath before your intended, your family, your king, the Lords of the West and Eru Allfather?'
'I will so step forth.' Elena answered. I can feel Morgoth coming for me already.
'Who stands with Elena in this hour?'
'I do.' Gilwen answered. In normal cases the mother of the bride would answer, but Elena had no family here. Which was why she had agreed –before the ceremony started- to let Gilwen take her mother's place. Blasted kid sister. Why does she have to turn against me in my hour of despair?
'Then step forth, Elena, and prepare to speak your oath.' Elena, like Tinwë had done, rose and stepped forward from where she had been kneeling. The couple was now standing right in front of me, very close.
'Tinwë Thranduilion, speak your pledge, and know that your words fall upon the ears of witnesses both hroä and fëa.' I let out a soft sigh, not hearable to any but Tinwë.
'I, Tinwë Thranduilion, pledge my heart, my mind, my spirit, my body, and all that I possess to you, Elena Roderickiel. I will serve you, protect you, cherish you and honour you for the rest of our lives together. Your joys and sorrows will be as my own, and all that I am I will share in full with you. These things I do solemnly swear, in the name of Eru Allfather, in the names of Manwë Steward of Eru upon Arda and Varda his spouse, and in the sight of all witnesses hroä and fëa.' A simple pledge, no cherished memories worked into it. Of course not, they had none. Typically Tinwë. Fool... how can he be my brother?
'Elena Roderickiel, speak your pledge, and know that your words fall upon the ears of witnesses both hroä and fëa.' I repeated myself to Elena.
'I, Elena Roderickiel, pledge my heart, my mind, my spirit, my body, and all that I possess to you, Tinwë Thranduilion. I will serve you, protect you, cherish you and honour you for the rest of our lives together. Your joys and sorrows shall be as my own, and all that I am I will share in full with you. These things I do solemnly swear, in the name of Eru Allfather, in the names of Manwë Steward of Eru upon Arda and Varda his spouse, and in the sight of all witnesses hroä and fëa.' Elena had more trouble speaking her pledge, simply because she was too stupid to remember what to say. Tinwë helped her out several times, but he didn't seem to mind.
Tinwë took off the silver ring he was wearing and put it on a silver chain, handed to him by a servant. The same servant took the flowers from Elena and gave them to one of Elena's new handmaidens. When did she get those? Tinwë handed the chain with the ring to Elena, and she, standing before him, fastened it around his neck with insecure hands. Now Elena took off her ring, her hand was shaking slightly. She put it, like Tinwë had done, on a silver chain. Independence; free to do what she wishes to do. She gave the chain to Tinwë. Loyalty; sharing her freedom with him. He fastened it around her neck. Bondage; he accepted her.
The ceremony, or at least the public part of it, was nearly over now. After this part the festivities would resume and the couple would withdraw into a room prepared for them, to complete the wedding. Don't see why they're getting it, they've already done that part. Father presented a golden ring to Elena. She marvelled at it for a moment, then took Tinwë's right hand and put it on his index finger. At least she got that part right. Now Tinwë took the gold ring father gave him and put it on Elena's finger, taking a deep breath to prevent his hand from shaking.
Now father and Gilwen stepped forward to stand beside the couple. Father was the first to speak his blessing over the couple. Soft words in a tongue older than the Sindarin flowed from his lips, almost as if they were a song. It was a melody older than father, older than Mirkwood, almost as old as the world itself. He invoked Manwë, the Lord of the Winds, High King of the World, to be their guardian and to shield the couple from danger until the world itself ended. He invoked him to bring joy to the couple, and a strong marriage. Then his voice died down and the song ended. Father truly has a terrific voice...
Gilwen, in her turn, let words flow from her mouth, she had a soft but beautiful voice to listen to. The second ancient melody now sounded in the great hall, invoking Varda Elentári, Queen of the Stars; fair beyond words of Men and Elves, fairer than Lúthien Tinúviel herself. Gilwen sang to Varda, so that she would be witness of this marriage, to protect the lovers and to keep them pure and true to each other, and to bind them in perfect harmony forever, even if they were Elf and Mortal, and from different worlds. Now Gilwen's voice also died down and everything became silent.
'May the Valar be with you, my son.' Father took Tinwë's hand.
'May the light of Elbereth ever shine upon your face.' Gilwen took Elena's hand. Father and Gilwen joined the hands of the couple, then they stepped backwards. I looked at Elena's face, then at Tinwë's. Both were nervous, and neither was quite sure what to do next. With Elena I can understand that, the silly girl is not familiar with elvish weddings for as far as I know. Tinwë was just a retard.
'Kiss her, you fool!' I hissed. A veil seemed to be taken from Tinwë's eyes, and the nervousness left his face. His eyes twinkled, honouring his name. He leaned in and brushed his lips against Elena's. Do I really have to be a witness to all of this? She returned the kiss, it became more intense. Manwë and Varda hate me. Oh yes, they do. It wasn't a very long kiss; at weddings they never seem to be. At least my mental sanity is safe. And this ceremony is pretty much ending... yay!
'In the name of Eru Ilúvatar, the One from whom all life has sprung, the One of whom came all that we love, and in the names of Manwë Súlimo and Varda Elentári, and in the presence of gathered witnesses, and by the authority bestowed upon me as Crown Prince, it is my greatest pleasure,' –who wrote this stupid speech? I do not enjoy this wedding!- '...to declare you husband and wife.'
Elena beamed and Tinwë smiled at her. They were official now, and made no problem of it. He leaned in to kiss her again. And I'm out of here... They'd be leaving the feast soon, and I didn't have to be confronted with them anymore. I just can't wait till they're gone. Finally some peace. Father came to me.
'You did very well.'
'Thank you, father. I hope you don't have any other surprises for me up your sleeve.'
'Not for today.'
'I love you too.'
'I know.' Father grinned.
~*~ Elena's POV ~*~
I wonder if I can do that wedding again. Not the ceremony, but the private part. Damn, Tinwë has a lot of energy. And he's considerate. He's so sweet. Yeah, that was one hell of a night. I'd love to repeat it. I'm sure neither of us would mind. Plus, I read somewhere that Elves really enjoy sex, and like to do it a lot after they get married. Am I lucky or what?
I leaned back against Tinwë's chest and closed my eyes. Elves make good pillows. We were lying on his bed, contented, enjoying each other's presence. His hand was playing with my hair. I let my hand run through his. I always wondered what Elf-hair feels like. Soft... Tinwë laughed softly.
'What are you doing?' he asked.
'Same thing you're doing...' I mumbled.
'Is my hair really that fascinating?'
'It's soft...'
'If you want something soft to pet I could also get you a cat...'
'Why? Because you don't want me to touch your hair?'
'No, because it's inconvenient to attend to meetings with a wife continuously petting your hair.'
'Now just a minute! I would not-'
He kissed me. 'You were saying?'
'Never mind.' I cuddled against him. 'Goodnight.'
'Are you going to sleep?'
'What do you think?'
'What if I want to get to know you better?'
'Can't it wait? I'm tired...'
'But...' Tinwë sighed. 'We have the time now. Time to talk. The day is always busy.'
I got back to sitting up straight. 'I suppose you're right.'
The couple of hours that followed we spent talking to each other, telling each other all kinds of stories from our childhood. I even told Tinwë about Tolkien, the books and the films that had recently been made. It took some time to explain what a film was, of course, but Tinwë was really interested. He especially took great delight in me citing passages from the books. He loved the passage of "The Bridge of Khazad-dûm", where Legolas is a big sissy.
Tinwë told me a lot as well, starting with his childhood. He and Legolas could still get along then, although Legolas was Thranduil's favourite child. His grandfather Oropher had still been alive back then, and Tinwë was his favourite grandson. When the twins –yes, they were twins- grew older, they grew apart. Legolas became proud and brave, Tinwë on the other hand became the quiet and naughty one. He told me that he and his brother liked to pull pranks (especially on each other), but Legolas considered himself too old or too good for that now. Tinwë didn't, and his eyes twinkled as he told me about some of the pranks. My very own Elf. Bad Boy Elf™ Tinwë... yum.
By the time he'd gotten to telling about the period around the War of the Ring, the brothers didn't get along at all anymore and there was nearly always strife. Dude, those two have issues. Maybe family therapy would do them some good. I couldn't help but laughing at most things he told, he did the most amazing things. When the night was drawing to an end we ended up deciding to conspire against Legolas and pull some more pranks. I love this guy. By the time we got out of bed to take a bath we'd already planned our first scheme. Legolas would long remember the dinner party held tonight, I'm sure of that...
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E/N: That's all, folks! You may be wondering why this is the evilest chapter yet. Well... Legolas' demise has just been plotted. Insert evil laughter here. Of course I love our Elfie-boy! He just annoys me at times. Well, I still like to hear what you think!
Love, peace and a paperclip,
-xxx- Elvea
PS: I'm also writing a fic with Aspiring Elf Girl, it's called Cloaked Rivalry. Can you see what she wrote and what I wrote? I wonder. In any case, it's sure worth reading!
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Elvea's Elvish Helpdesk. Sort of.
Please note that these phrases took ages to get right. Hard work's been put into them, forgive me if a mistake is made in one or two places. I've spent hours on studying Tolkien's languages, so I know what I'm doing. Be aware that I did not simply copy these phrases from some website but constructed them myself. Please also note that the Grey Company website contains Elven (which is only *loosely* based on Tolkien's work), not Elvish. Phrases found there are not in proper Elvish (although I just love the term mani'oio). Thank you.
ada (for the bright ones that hadn't figured it out yet) – father, daddy
Ambar-endya – Elvish term for Middle-earth
*An elven week counts only six days
ninniach (reminder) – rainbow
ohtar-edhel – Elf-warrior
toronya – dear brother
aranel – princess
findi ohtar – warrior braids
indis a' ender – bride and bridegroom
alfirin – a small, white flower (also uilos or simbelmynë)
hroä – body
fëa - spirit
-iel – suffix for 'daughter of'
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Shannon: It's really nice how you just email instead of review. It gives it something more personal. Thank you! The elvish in the text is Sindarin though, not Quenya. I translated it all myself, with grammar help from Ardalambion, the best website on the elvish languages there is. It can be found here: Did you have fun with this chapter? Good luck with the elvish!
horsegrl: She did learn how to ride normally. I know from experience that riding without a saddle isn't too much of a difference. (Except for getting onto the horse, phew...) So once she got on she'd done the hardest bit. She had no choice but to gallop; she would lose sight of Legolas otherwise. But it's amazing what a person can do when a lot depends on it. And lets be honest. Would you -even if you didn't get along with him- want to lose sight of Legolas? Just imagine Elena on that horse galloping after Legolas, clutching to her horse as if clutching to her dear life. Does that explain it? Glad you liked the rest though.
Phoenix Flight: Well, it was a brilliant name! It had me cracking up until I fell out of my chair! As for odds being evened yes or no: I think Legolas is chanceless now... laughs evilly...
Lady Eowyn: Yay! Everyone likes Tinwë! Woohoo! Does silly victory dance. Don't mind that. Am just insane. Wow, a blizzard? Wicked! I got stuck in one as well during Christmas Hols when was in Germany. Was a lot of fun. Thanks for pointing out the typo. Can't pick 'em all out. I promise to change it as soon as I have the time for it. there, that better? Ooooh, you have a mini-Balrog as well? Kewl! Bormir roars at Deneathor. Don't mind that. It's his way of saying hi.
Witchmaster: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I hope you enjoy the story at all. I think so though, because you bothered to read the entire story so far and even reviewed twice! Thanks! |:o)
Godforsaken: Yay! You liked it! (Like I didn't know that yet... just wanted to brush up my ego, that's all.) At least someone likes the hair, it scared some other people. No really, it did. Muha, eeeevil... I hope this story isn't the main reason why you started hating Legolas. (Actually I do, but it's too evil a thing for the Goddess of Good to say.) Did you know that you were the very first review on this story EVER? Go you! And yeah, I just had to put the quote in it. So tell me about that theory Random Dent has...
LBFREAK: The whole idea was to make the reader think she slept with Legs. Pretty evil, but effective. I learn that kind of thing in school. (I actually learn useful things there, how about that?) But not everyone looks the same, only Legolas and Tinwë. Still confusing, I suppose. Leggy torture is on its way, it's going to be like it's never been before! Oh yeah, I feel evil today!
Karone: Kewl, people wanna conspire against me... well, it's still quite flattering that you bother to review more than once per chapter. Keeps me inspired while I write. (I actually read my reviews several times, how pathetic is that?) Oh well. Kewl how you said thank you in all those different languages, with only two or three spelling mistakes. Don't see me doing that. (Just want to point out one, as my Indonesian pride is getting in the way (am partly Indonesian, you see): Terimah Kassi is supposed to be Terima Kasih. Oh well, don't sweat it. Oh, you just copied it. Then whoever wrote it made a silly mistake. But who am I to say these things, really?) Well, was this update soon enough?
Oasisrocker: MONTY PYTHON RULES!!! No really, he does! Something, somewhere... we all rule stuff at some point... never mind the philosophical behaviour. That's what happens when you actually have philosophy classes in school... O.O Weird subject. Anyway, I think you should update your fic. Tell me when you do, I'll promise to review for you. :) You like Valentine's Day? I hate it. Anyway (again), tell your brother I said "okaaay...". 'mooches!
Black Pearl: ROFLMAOWTIME? You definitely have to tell me what that means. I know ROFLMAO, but this one... right... Yeah, Elena does everything her way, weird or weirder. But hey, she had weird hair! Hope I didn't scare you too much with the image of purple and afro... if so, I'm sorry.
alassae: Quality entertainment = evil entertainment. Glad you enjoy it. 'mooch!
Warlady: I'll try to update more often, but I can't make any promises. I have a lot of schoolwork, you see. (Blast it.) I know, I like Lell'ias as well, but it's just soooo much fun to mock him! I'm not sure I'll make Legolas try to discover what Tinwë sees in Elena, he probably is too damn proud for that. I'll see... pain, suffering and pranks on the way. I promise. Btw are you a paganist?
Gizmo: Ooooooooooooh, you left a nice review! I'm glad you like the way I write the Elves. But I think, from what works of Tolkien I've read, that they really are like that. They're close to being perfect, but aren't perfect. Besides, perfect Elfies are boring. I'm happy to know that the chapters aren't slowly getting worse, because I'm a little afraid that it might happen. As for that fantasy-style of writing... yes, that was the intention. ;) I have no idea what pillows would say if they could speak. Maybe they'd tell us to stop whining and not to cry onto them anymore because they get all wet. Maybe they're eeeeeevil. Or maybe they'd start telling about the love of their life; that lovely pink pillow they met at the shop... hmmm, this needs considering.
Nolwe: My computer is the evilest of all, as you may have read above. But still, I updated. Thanks for your review!
ola: Legolas is the older one of the twins. Was this soon enough? Please don't send Orcs after me! I have two sisters, that's bad enough! Aaaaaack!
Lossie Alqua: Yay! You're not mad at me for taking longer! Thank you! Don't sweat the two reviews. After all, it looks rather nice on the counter, doesn't it? ;) It took me a little while to get it all right (am not sure how long, though), because the elvish grammar is such a lot of work. Then again, I'd rather do it myself and get it right than to copy it off some website full of mistakes.
Jazz: Legolas's response to finding Tinwë and Elena was absolutely my favourite part. (Just picture Leggings and the looks on his face... Kodak moment!) Yes, they are twins. Thranduil treats Elena better because Legolas treated her so poorly; and he wants to teach Lell'ias a lesson. Thanks, I put a lot of work it the Sindarin! (Great that you noted "Sindarin" and didn't just shouted "Elvish" or "Quenya" to sound interesting!)
Ril-Gania: Hey Rils! Thanks! Uh, sure you can borrow Tinwë, as long as you don't fuck him up too much. (And if you ever get to writing anything at all...) I'd be interested in that story... anyway, I told you what the idea -more or less- is. Orli's gonna hate me. You're not gonna tell him, are you? Please? You should stop calling Bram "Brammy-boy". It's getting on my (and possibly on his) nerves. Yes, yes... I've started on bugging him for you. See, I can be nice! Love you too hon. I won't make him suffer too much... yet. I promise. I know Orli hasd a hard life, but we were getting back on him for canceling the skiing trip, remember? Love, Elvy.
Yavanna: Moof. Did you guess that it would end up in this situation? I wonder how many people guessed it. Only those who've read Morgoth's Ring, I suppose. Well, glad to see that you still enjoy it!
Aimzy-chan: Wrote more! Thanks for the review, it's a really nice one. Nobody called this a Mary Sue yet, nobody even said it was turning into one, but I was afraid that it would happen if I'd made Legolas and Elena fall in love. Good to see that you like my version of Legolas. I'll tell you a scary thing though; he's not so different in the books...
danceingfae: |:o) It's very nice to know that you like my story, and how Elena changed. I hope you had a good laugh over this chapter!
Kat: How could I possibly bet bored with this story? It's Legolas-torture! It's far too much fun to quit! I indeed purposely wrote that particular scene like that, it's a suspense effect I learned in Literature Class. Great technique, eh? Sorry if I scared you with it. Tinwë is not for sale, though. He lives in my head. But if you would like to use him for a story, I'm willing to bargain. ;) The hair is fixed now, so don't worry. Legolas used several kinds of berries for the different colours, btw. I didn't mean to upset you by making all the Legolas fans Éomer fans. Just fooling around... you understand that, right? RIGHT? The scizo-king voice isn't the only one. He's the biggest perv, though, so it's very disturbing. Thanks for being compassionate. Anything even mildly hinting pervertedness comes from him, not me. I don't want you to bite me indeed. I promise to keep writing!
Karone: ~_~* You're going to torture me if I don't update fast enough? You sound like my sister, the Goddess of Evil (Endomiel)! That is... sick? A form of obsessive? Fangirly behavior? I wasn't annoyed with the three reviews (I didn't even notice until I started writing the responses, actually), I was actually rather flattered. VSD's stands for Very Secret Diaries, written by Cassandra Claire. They're incredibly funny, if you want to know where to find them just mail me or find another way to contact me. (osanwe-kenta for instance) I don't use Grey Company. Grey Company based it only loosely on Tolkien, meaning that it does not contain proper elvish. I picked up the term mani'oio in a fic, I think, but now I know where it came from. It's good to hear that your friend liked the fic, thanks for the compliment! And whether Elena is pregnant or not... well that would be telling!
Apolena Soleil: Jealousy, huh? It could be an interesting sideline... It will not turn into romance with him and Elena though. I'm too proud to let that happen. Thanks for the review! :)
tbiris: Was this update soon enough? I hope so. If you're interested in the story about me, my school and Moria in the basement I suggest you read Chaos, panic, disorder, my work is done here. It's on my account. Only one chapter up so far, though, because I haven't gotten to type out the rest yet. Thanks for taking the time to review (twice) even if you were tired!
AnGeLiC dEvIl: You printed the entire story? Wow... that's so cool! I'm glad to hear that your friends liked it as well. Thanks for your review, it's a really nice one; flattering. Thanks for putting me up your list and thanks for complimenting me on my review. I'll try to update as often as possible.
Morivanim: |:o) Thank you for leaving a review, I'm happy to see that you like this!
Kazle: Muha. Am getting people to the Dark Side (Éomer Fanclub)! Yay me! Well Éomer is pretty sexy... oh yeah... licks lips Never mind that. Went to see TTT again yesterday, hence the drooly behavior. But no hangovers, it's elvish wine. Updated sooner than I did, so I suppose it will become more frequent. I'm trying to achieve that anyway.
Penance: Legolas's hair as a subject will be back, right now Elena and he just have more important things to think about. *coughTinwëcough* I'm glad that you enjoy the Legolas-torture just as much as I do!
ithinkineedanewname: Brother-to-brother talk is yet to come. Am wondering if should feel sorry for Elena. After all, she did get the title princess and the whole nine yards... maybe we should feel sorry for Legolas... neh.