19

Sitting alone in her room, Theresa felt entrapped in a sea of darkness- her thoughts like gigantic waves crashing through her mind. It was odd being alone. Sometimes it was nice being left alone and not having to deal with anyone else, but most of the time it was unnerving. It was scary having to face inner demons alone and unarmed. However, Theresa was determined to find out who she really was, and she was willing to face the looming force of darkness that threatened to swallow her whole even if she had to do it by herself.

After Fox left, Theresa spent the duration of the week analyzing various points in her life. Theresa seldom left her room during the course of the week. She only conversed with her sister, aunt, and uncle during mealtime. Solitude became Theresa's closest friend. It allowed her to explore her deepest thoughts and offered her time to reminisce about her past.

For a long time Ethan Winthrop- formerly Ethan Crane- had dominated Theresa's thoughts. She collected pictures of him, admired him, dreamed of him, and thought she had loved him. She whole-heartedly convinced herself that Ethan was meant to be with her. Theresa dreamed of capturing her prince charming's heart just as Cinderella had done in the famously told fairytale.

Theresa silently reprimanded herself as she came to realize how foolish she had acted. "My idea of love was influenced by fairytales. I was so naïve about love. I was so set on having Ethan that I excluded the idea of ever having anyone else. Obsessing about Ethan was like any other girl obsessing over a big celebrity. I just happened to take steps to make my fantasy come true." Theresa paused as she felt an epiphany wash over her.

Ethan Winthrop was a fantasy- a fantasy that happened to come true.

Theresa was convinced that fate brought her and Ethan together. Being the hopeless romantic that she was, Theresa felt that she and Ethan were meant to be. But as Theresa recounted the events in her life regarding Ethan, it seemed that she and Ethan were not really meant to be after all.

Sure, Ethan and Theresa made it to the altar, but they never got past their "I do's." After Theresa's ruined wedding, a whole slew of events seemed to send Ethan and Theresa's relationship down the drain. Theresa sighed. "It wasn't meant to be," She said aloud. "He married Gwen, and that's that."

Theresa stood up and stretched her arms. "Odd how he claims to still love me," Theresa thought rolling her eyes. "Such a fool," She mumbled. "For a long time I put Ethan up on this pedestal. I idolized him- he was perfect in my eyes. I pursued him, and although he claimed he and I were through, he still reeled me in- played with my heart. God! I was such a fool!"

Theresa sat back down and rubbed her eyes. "And I allowed him to reel me in. Why didn't I come to my senses sooner?"

Frustrated, Theresa stood up again and left the room. Her memory journey was completed for the day.