IOHITF – WARNING: Contains Legolas-mocking!
E/N: As I write this "Elvy's Note" I realize that it is almost a year since I last updated. Looking at the various hand-written sheets next to me on my desk I realize that I wasn't sure exactly where to take this interlude chapter- version six, dated somewhere in October, goes to prove that. There are two versions from early November, and the trail pretty much ends there- November was when it all really got bumpy with me. The chapter you have before you is a mix of the eight versions I've written, that is, I took what I thought made the chapter best, and decided which final demi-plot line I would take for Legolas's awakening.
Reason for this outrageous delay is something I don't want to specify here, as I don't want to share it with every single person on the web, seeing as, technically, any random person has access to this page. All I'll say is that I've been going through some emotionally challenging times, and I know that it won't change any over the upcoming six months, if not longer. However, now that I have a holiday and won't be going anywhere for the next two months, I have some time to get myself together for a bit, and write. Which is exactly what I've been doing these past two weeks or so. From this point on there will likely be just two more IOHITF chapters, and then it's done. I regret that, because I like writing this fic, but I'm also glad, because then I'll have completed it at long last. I hope to get those chapters up before the end of my summer holiday, but I won't make it a promise, as I don't know if I can keep it. Anyway, I've completed this chapter and hope to see the next one done soon after this one. I also hope that you'll enjoy this chapter as much as the former ones, and that you'll all be relieved that I haven't given up writing.
With love and care,
Elvea.
PS: Yes, the month in Spain was awesome. Yes, I kept a diary of it. Yes, it's online. Yes, I'll leave you the link. It's right here, if you care: of pop-ups)
Disclaimer: The Lord of the Rings and the names of the characters, events, items and places therein are the trademark of the Saul Zaentz Company d/b/a Tolkien Enterprises etc. Guess what that means. It means that nearly everything in this fic is not mine. I'd love to own it all, but alas. I'm not getting anything out of this other than a sadistic pleasure and the occasional review.
This chapter is dedicated to my mother, who's always been a great example to me, and for whom I care much, now and always. Love you.
" 'Bombur has fallen in! Bombur is drowning!' he cried. [...]
They could still see his hood above the water when they ran to the bank. Quickly they flung a rope with a hook towards him. His hand caught it, and they pulled him to the shore. He was drenched from hair to boots, of course, but that was not the worst. When they laid him on the bank he was already fast asleep, with one hand clutching the rope so tight that they could not get it from his grasp; and fast asleep he remained in spite of all they could do." (the Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien, chapter 8; Flies and Spiders)
Chapter 11 – Sweet Dreams
I laughed. 'You're joking, right?'
He gave me a blank look. 'No, I am not. We will cross the stream on that raft.' He turned and walked back to me, gesturing for me to dismount. I didn't. 'Come on, get going. We can't stand here all day. Get off the horse, and onto the raft.'
'It'll sink the moment I step onto it. I just know it will.'
'It would be wise to put more faith in the power of my people.'
'That's what I said, it's gonna sink.'
He fixed a most unsettling glare on me. 'We will cross the stream using this raft, and you will go first.'
I could tell by the tone of his voice and the scariness of his glare that this was business. Serious business. Bloodcurdling, spine-tingling, terrifying business. Business as in "do as I say or I'll use you for target practice". And with very well-trained bow-twangers, you don't want to take the risk. I gulped. Creepy wannabe Vulcan. Stupid pointy-ear with vampire complexion.
In a flash of genius I realized something important. 'Say, smartass,' I grinned at the odd look he gave me, 'how are you planning on getting the raft back to your side once I've crossed the stream?'
'The power of my people will aid me,' he folded his arms and smirked at me triumphantly. I wondered what would happen if a Balrog suddenly came running into the scene and set the remainders of Legolas's precious hair on fire. He'd squeal like a pansy for one thing... I grinned.
'And what makes you think I won't run off while you're crossing?'
'I'd hate to think wishfully.'
Ha. Fucking. Ha.
---
I put my foot onto the raft carefully. Surprisingly enough, it stayed afloat. I walked onto it entirely, leading Roheryn with me. Seeing as nobody had told me her name, I'd given the mare a name myself. I've always loved the name of Aragorn's horse. "Horse of the lady." Somehow it seemed appropriate. The raft hadn't gone down yet, but it didn't mean by a long shot that I trusted the thing, let alone Legolas near the thing. It would be so like him to make it sink somewhere halfway, just as I'm beginning to believe that I might actually make it to the other side without getting wet. I looked for a way to get the raft moving. There was none.
'Tell me again, how am I supposed to make this thing move?' I asked. Suddenly the raft began moving all by itself. I shrieked. Legolas smirked at me from the nearer bank.
'I told you- the power of my people will-'
'Take the power of your people and stick it where the sun don't shine.' I hate him. I hate him. IhatehimIhatehimIhatehim. Grrr.
It didn't take long before I reached the other side safe and sound. I got off with Roheryn as fast as I could. You can never tell what kind of evil tricks those Wood-elves still have up their sleeve. It was a pleasant surprise that I hadn't gotten an unwanted bath, and I intended to keep it that way. Still, that Elf was up to something, and I knew I wouldn't like it. The raft floated back to Legolas. If only I could beat him to the trick somehow...
I took another step and walked headfirst into a low-hanging branch. Ouch.
There was no sound coming from the other bank. No sniggering. No sneering comment. Nothing. Rubbing my sore face I looked back and saw Legolas busy getting his horse onto the raft. He probably hadn't seen anything.
And then I came up with a brilliant plan, if I may say so myself.
I tested the suppleness of the branch I'd walked into. It was strong, but with the use of a little strength very well bendable. Perfect.
I mounted Roheryn, drew the branch back and waited patiently as Elf-boy began his journey across the stream. Roheryn blocked his view of the branch excellently. I grinned. He wouldn't know what hit him...
Legolas seemed to take ages to get across the stream, but in the end the raft made it to this bank anyway. Legolas set foot ashore. I hoped he'd come to the right place. He did.
Smiling smugly he looked at me. 'Didn't I-' Swoosh! The branch swooped at him and he couldn't dodge it in time. It hit him square in the face. He stepped back in order to maintain his balance, only to walk into his horse that had followed after him from the raft. Legolas stumbled forward again, apparently having lost his coordination. I sniggered. He stepped sideways, ever-so-cleverly getting his left leg into the stream. The cold of the water seemed to somewhat bring him back to his senses, and he jerked his leg back out.
He turned around and sent me the foulest of looks. 'You vile little-' He fell face-first onto the ground. I blinked. Huh?
I dismounted and walked over to him. 'Legolas?' No response. 'Elf-boy? Legging-las?' Nothing. 'Yo! Lame excuse for an Elven being!' No sign of life whatsoever.
Carefully I prodded his side with my foot. He remained still. I decided to throw some obscenities at him, they usually got him going, and I was sure that it wouldn't make a difference this time. The best way of getting Legolas active is to say all the things he does not want to hear.
'You're as gay as a spring parade, Legsie. You're a fucking faggot. You're the gayest gay Elf ever to have drawn breath in Middle-earth. Aragorn is your one true love...?' he remained as still as a corpse. But he couldn't be dead. Right?
I knelt down next to him, my heart beating as though it was getting paid 300% overtime. I reached towards him, terrified. It'd be just like him to suddenly leap up and grab my arm, scaring the shit out of me, and then to proceed and torture me for what I'd said and done. After all, this is Legolas I'm talking about. He's evil. And he'd obviously been up to something. He might just be using this new situation to his advantage.
I poked him between his ribs. Not a single motion, not even the slightest bit. Slowly and very cautiously I rolled him over onto his back, thanking Eru for creating light-weight Elves.
I looked at his face, and couldn't help but smirk at the sight. He was covered with mud. His mouth and eyes were closed, his chest slowly rose and fell. Well, at least he was alive. His jaw dropped a bit, and he began to snore. The Elf was snoring! Snoring! The water of the stream had to have caused this all somehow, closed eyes and snoring included. But only his leg had gotten wet- could the enchanted stream really be this powerful?
I tried to recall from The Hobbit how fast the water had worked on Bombur. Pretty fast, but then again, Bombur had fallen in entirely. It made no difference though. Legolas was sound asleep, and reasoning sure wasn't going to wake him up.
Great job, Einstein. Now what?
---
Three days, and the Elf was still snoring. Just bloody fantastic.
I'd lifted up Legolas and hung him across his horse (which took quite some time, as I'm slightly clumsy and inexperienced when it comes to tossing Elves over horses- hope the bruises are gone by the time he wakes up), then I'd mounted Roheryn and taken the reins of Elf-boy's horse. Fortunately his horse was smart enough to understand that it was important to co-operate, and followed without making trouble. Adding to my luck was the fact that there was only one path, and it was easy enough to follow. Leading two horses I couldn't go fast, so it took me nigh on four days to make it out of Mirkwood.
As for today, I spent it mostly getting away a bit from the forest, because even though the darkness was supposed to be banished, I still didn't trust it for a single bit. Especially not after nearly having been eaten by spiders the size of... the size off... well, they were huge in any case.
Not that I knew where I had to go anyway- somewhere in the general direction of the Misty Mountains, yes, but that's not very helpful, is it? They go a looooong way from north to south, and it's not like I have the remotest clue where the passes are. Sure, I can vaguely think of where the Pass of Imladris is supposed to be, but I have no idea how to get there and, more importantly, how to recognize it once I get there. Moreover, orcs still roamed the mountains and seeing as I'm not exactly what you would call a skilled warrior... bad idea. Thus I had decided to stay somewhere halfway the mountains with their bands of ugly orcs, and the forest and its bighugenastyevil spiders. If this was even close to halfway, of course.
And then there was the problem of food. I hadn't got much left, just what still remained of what I brought from Thranduil's halls. At first I thought that I might be able to shoot a rabbit or something, but I soon abandoned that idea upon realizing that I'd have to skin it myself. Yuck. And I wasn't a good archer, let alone a huntress.
My stomach complained again. Why didn't the Elf just wake up?
There was of course a brighter side to all of my misery. Actually, there were two. First and foremost, of course, was that I wouldn't be suffering Legolas's continuous nagging for a while. The second plus point was that the Great River was just about the corner, I could hear the water running from where I sat. That meant that I wouldn't dehydrate- I'd almost been out of water. And I could bathe!
I prayed there weren't any packs of hungry wolves about, or orcs or wargs for that matter. I knew they feared fire, but I had none and reasoned that a wayward, defenseless traveler would be a favorite on the menu.
---
Returning to the camp I found the horses and Legolas still alive and in one piece. I'd just taken a bath in the river- which, by the way, really is big and icy cold- and my hair was still moist. The sun was sinking away behind the mountains now, causing me to wonder how long it would take before it would be dark.
I looked around. Plenty of firewood, just no way to light it. The Elf had usually provided me or himself with the means to do so.
In a flash of genius the thought struck me that Legolas had to have something in his pack to make a fire with. Immediately I began searching through his pack and not much later managed to dig up two small flints from among the contents. Quickly I gathered some firewood together and piled it in what I thought to be a convenient way on the dry earth. I really seemed to be lucky today; the soil was pretty sandy here and that should make it relatively safe to start a fire.
It took me a while to actually get the fire going, as flints aren't exactly a convenient way of making fire with. That is, it's easy to get sparks, it's harder to set the right things on fire. I like my hair and clothes, you know. Besides- you'd think that, bright as they are, those Elves would at least've thought of a tinderbox by now. At least I got a fire going, though, and it was nice and warm. I laid down on my bedroll and closed my eyes.
My stomach complained again, and I sat back up. Maybe there still were a few edible substances in my pack. Probably not, though. I was through most of my supplies, and I was going to have to spare as much as possible for the days ahead. After all, it wasn't as if I knew when the snoring Elf-type was going to wake up.
I decided to have a grand search through my pack anyway and pulled it onto my lap. Upon opening it, I found the resin I'd stuffed into my pack just before I left my chamber. I didn't really know why I took it- other than using it to annoy Legolas somehow, it had no purpose. I pondered what I could do with it, but decided against using it on the Elf. As he was right now, it was too easy. Far too easy. There wasn't any fun in it this way.
In the end I figured I could heat it above the fire I'd made, so that it would melt and I could apply it on my legs. I hadn't had a chance to do anything about them since I first arrived in Middle-earth, and they were horribly hairy; I felt like an orangutan. I was a living fur-ball. Yuck.
As a bonus, it gave me something to do and might just distract me from my hunger.
---
It hurt like hell and tore away part of my skin with it. I groaned loudly in pain as I ripped the last bit of resin off of my leg.
This was my worst idea since I ended up here, by far. I could've known it wasn't a clever thing to do; it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that this wasn't at all like what they sell in the stores back home. That stuff's been mixed with other things, and made more skin-friendly to prevent it from taking off the skin along with the hair. Why oh why couldn't I think of that sooner? I am so stupid. Ouch, ouch, ouchity, OUCH.
--- Legolas's POV ---
Somebody let out a loud, painful groan near me when I woke up. I kept still and pondered on the events by the stream. I had no idea how long I'd slept, but my dreams, at least, had been pleasant. Quite pleasant, even. Still, the blundering wool-headed fool going by the name Elena was going to pay for what she'd done.
Finally I sat up and looked around, wondering where in the name of Tauron I could be. Obviously somewhere in the wilds, but how did I get here? Elena couldn't have taken me here, could she? She barely has the skill to ride a horse in the first place...
And what in the name of Elbereth was she doing to her legs anyway?
I blinked. Elena was sitting near the fire, her legs bare and only wearing her tunic. She must've been entirely unaware that I was awake and looking at her, or she would've acted differently. Right now, she was carefully running her fingers across her legs, looking as though she was in great physical pain. I halfway expected her to start crying. The skin on her legs was all read and irritated, here and there even partially torn off somehow. I could understand the anguish.
'Elena?' I asked carefully. She looked up at me and paled.
'When did you wake up?'
'Just now, I- what are you doing?' I interrupted myself.
'None of your business. Leave me alone,' she looked at her legs miserably.
'You're hurt.'
'Thanks, Captain Obvious. Stop gloating over it,' she glared at me. 'It's not like you care anyway.'
'As a matter of fact, I do care. You might get an infection, and that means we'll be delayed. I intend to make it to Rivendell as soon as possible, and our journey has taken up far too much time already. I won't allow for any more tarrying.'
'I don't think my legs will care much about what you say and what you disallow.'
'How bad is it?'
'Just scratches, stop nagging.' She winced. She was clearly contradicting herself, it made no sense to me. Scratches and irritated skin were nothing unusual on long journeys, I always carried some ointments for ailments like that whenever I went out riding. I was sure to have something that could be used on her legs, and she needed it, too. It looked pretty bad, despite what she was saying.
I grabbed my pack and found what I was looking for in no time. I fished out a small jar and got up. In an instant I sat down next to her and opened it.
--- Elena's POV ---
'This should ease the pain a bit,' Legolas said as he stuck two fingers in what appeared to be a small jar with some kind of smooth, greenish balm.
'I said I was fine,' I glared at him.
'And I said that I didn't want you to get an infection,' he stubbornly started bringing his now greenish fingers to my legs.
'Touch me and you'll regret it. I mean it,' I growled. He doggedly ignored it and his fingers met my thigh on a sore spot, just below the line of my tunic.
That's it. Ignoring me is bad enough, but to attempt to use this whole salve-thing as an excuse to just... just... grope at places is the limit. I warned him- he shouldn't touch me and certainly not mere inches away from there. I fiercely kicked at him and hit him against the chest, knocking him backwards. My other foot hit him square in the face. He fell backwards and rolled onto his side, into a sort of fetal position, covering his face with his hands and groaning loudly. That should teach him. Perverted bastard.
'Wy wose... wu woke wy wose!' he wailed.
'I hope it hurts,' I growled, then picked up the little pot of balm and started applying the stuff myself. I had to admit that Legolas was right about one thing; although the balm stung, it soothed the pain.
--- Legolas's POV ---
First, you wake up having no idea where you are, trying to figure out what has happened over the time you've been pleasantly sleeping away an enchanted sleep. Then, you find your luggage mutilating her legs for some reason or other, leaving you in oblivion as to why. Deciding that it's not going to be pleasant hearing continuous whining on painful legs for the rest of the journey, or having to heal festering legs later on during the journey, you figure it's a good idea to offer some help, if only to make it all a little easier for yourself. So you get your salve, try to apply it gently, and what do you get in return?
A foot up your face.
Nice. Real nice.
I sat back up, still feeling a bit dizzy. I lowered my hands and looked at the blood incredulously. My nose had to be broken. It wouldn't bleed that much otherwise. Right? It probably wouldn't hurt this much otherwise either.
'If you want the bleeding to stop, squeeze your nose shut firmly and lean your head backwards a bit,' Elena said dryly, not looking up from what she was doing. Like I'd believe her. Her advice was about as reliable as that of Morgoth. If Morgoth's advice wasn't more reliable, of course.
...was she applying the balm by herself now?
'Fine, don't take my advice then. Not like I care.' Elena seemed to be done and snatched up her pants from beside her. I turned away and tried to get the bleeding to stop in the meantime.
'What was the kicking good for anyway?' I asked after having successfully made the bleeding stop.
'For the fact that you're a filthy, perverted Elf.'
'I wish I was still sleeping,' I grumbled. Elena just never made sense. She probably just needed an excuse to kick me. Wish I could go back to my dreams...
'Don't worry, Elf-boy, so do I.'
I hate that girl.
E/N: All done now, chapter, notes, footnotes, quote and everything. All this will need now is my beta (by the time you'll read this, it's already been there, of course) and the comments to all your reviews. Won't be long before I finally get to post this. Hope you've enjoyed it.
With love and care,
Elvea.
PS: Yes, Elena is a first-class straight-A bitch in deserving of a good flogging and being smitten for all that she does to Legolas. Because she goes too far, you see. Even I think so, and I'm not a Legolas fangirl. Don't worry though, she'll get what she deserves.
Elvea's Elvish Helpdesk. Sort of.
Really more an explanation for any names you might run into in the fic and are not familiar with. Well, this time anyway. Next time I might actually be using Elvish again. Or not. Oh well, we'll see how it works out.
Tauron – Lord of the Forests, a Vala, known to the Eldar as Oromë. Sindar and Silvan Elves use his name 'Tauron,' which, of course, is not to be mistaken with 'Sauron'.
Morgoth – I've mentioned him a few times before, I know, but for those of you who still desire explanation: the Big Bad Evil Dude. Eviller than Sauron, and not joking. Sauron was just his assistant back when Morgoth still got to be dark, scary, and, well... evil.
Elbereth – Lady of the Stars, one of the Valier (Queens of the Valar), and to the Eldar known as Varda. But yes- in Middle-earth she was known mainly as Elbereth, occasionally also mentioned as 'Gilthoniel'.
Melime – I'm glad that you've enjoyed the story so far, and I just hope I didn't let you down on this one. I'm also glad I actually managed to update again. Tinwë didn't actually go with them. He came after Elena, but only for a proper goodbye, because he realized he couldn't come home with her. And I actually kinda like the image of Legolas with spikes. Then again, I'm on a hormone-high here due to period goodness, so maybe that influences my judgment a bit. Right. Anyway. Thank you for your well-wish and review. :)
Mellon1 – Not sure if this should be counted among the best of best, but thanks for thinking so anyway. Here's your update, hope it's satisfying. I'm not sure if I have an actual translation of the elvish section anywhere on my computer- I don't think so in any case, I just wrote it as I went along. It's not particularly interesting, just some naughty dialogue.
prettyfoot – whee! Another person to agree with me! He's in desperate need of bashing. Because of all the fangirls, but also because he's just a silly character to begin with. Fetching the sun, I mean, honestly.
Lala – Jason is Tinwë? Hmmm... interesting theory. Travelling after her, go back in time etc... I see why that could make sense, yes. I have to disappoint you, though. Jason isn't Tinwë. Keep thinking on it all. ;)
Agent – I suffer from Terminal Cliffhanger Syndrome. I try not to, but it happens just about every time. I'm just glad this isn't a real cliffie, as such. Glad you're okay with not-so-perfect Legolas. I have a theory that he really isn't perfect, anyway, and Legolas in this fic is a reflection of what he could be like, albeit slightly less annoying, of course. I might one day write an essay on it all, explaining my Legs based on various quotes. But that's something undecided just yet. As to Rivendell and Elrond- well, all I can say is; naughty, naughty Aragorn. You'll see what's going on exactly, so I won't wpoil the last two chapters for you. It'll be explained.
Nienna Telrunya - I'm a sucker for puppy eyes. Don't do that to me! [hides] As to the meaning of 'daro'... according to Christopher Tolkien (aka the Guy Who Left Us With Loads Of Sources For Elvish And Middle-earth History), as he states in the Unfinished Tales, his father noted that 'daro' means 'stop, halt'. Chris Tolkien being the most reliable resource for translating any elven language, I'm putting my money on him over web-dictionaries. ;)
kazle - As I stated in the E/N, yeah, I'm going to finish this fic, don't worry. My emotional life just suddenly got all messed up and needed tending to before anything would work. I have some real time for myself now, so I hope to get the last two chaps up soon. Don't worry, I'm not abandoning you all on IOHITF. :)
mintandsage - Good to see you enjoy it, hope you liked the update.
Phoenix Flight - Like I said to Lala above, interesting reasoning, but inaccurate, I'm afraid. You'll see how it's all put together over the next two chapters, if you don't figure it out for yourself before that time. ;) And yes, sweet dreams indeed, but for Legolas. I felt he deserved some peacefulness after all of Elena's abuse. Mean bitch, that girl. And I love TreeHugger's stories, just excellent quality. I wish I could write like that. --"
eye-changling - Your review at the time was a good reminder for me, because I'd left IOHITF for a bit after having had bad news. That is, I had those various versions, but no final choice made, and an emotional life that was getting in the way. I posted something on my bio the minute I got your review (review-alerts are worth millions, I swear), because I realized there should be some explanation. Back then, I didn't foresee it would take me this long, nor did I want it to. Now, ages later, I have finally updated, and a lot more certainty. There's a realistic chance that it'll all get bumpier for me soon, but with school out of the way at least, I have the time to sort things out the minute they happen, which gives room for creativity. Aka: I don't plan on taking another year. I do hope to get the next chapter up in about a month's time (sooner would be better, of course), but as you said, I'll be cautious with that promise. On the 'let's get to the brighter review-side,' it's good that you gave me the boot up the bum for a bit there, because I needed a reminder. I'm glad that you think this Girl In Middle-earth has worked better than most- it's what I'm hoping to achieve, after all. :)
Murr - Didn't mean to abandon you... :( sorry... forgive me, for the love of cute and irresistible smileys? Have been to LaLa-land for a while, then went on to EmotionalDistress-land, and have now stranded in SortingThingsOutAndGettingBackOnTrack-land. (What a journey, ne?) Aka: I found the time, energy and creativity to finish all this up. I hope you enjoyed the update. :)
Cerulean Sky - I like your reasoning! Very sensible, yesyes. Well, here's the next bit and the ending's in sight, so don't worry about where it's going. Hint: Rivendell. ;)
Legolas stalker - And in the category of better late than never... this update, perhaps? I hate myself for taking this long, but oh well. At least I got it done, right? Poor, poor Tinwë. He gets dragged into the mess, and then he can't come along. I feel sorry for him as well. [pouts] Legolas is so wonderfully uptight sometimes- I love it. As for slash- nah, I can handle slash, I'm incredibly open-minded. I'd take it so far as to say that hardly anything really bothers me. Then again, I'm a strange, strange person. Oh well.
Xx-AnGeLiC dEvIl-xX – Spain was awesome, thanks. Good to see you've been enjoying it so far.
Hiro-tyre – Uhm, lemme look that up... you said... "This is the funniest piece of crap that I have ever read! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" I guess I got confused over 'piece of crap' somehow. Just thwack me if I'm being silly- I don't get thwacked quite often enough and that's a real shame...
Maethoriell Uini Tawar – Yeah, she does care for him, probably as a result of not having anyone else in Middle-earth. When people feel really lost and lonely, they can suddenly cling to whatever kind of caring they find. For Elena, that's Tinwë. It's a bit like he is hope for her- the chance that things might get better again.
Elise's Angelus – I'm afraid that I have never even heard of Moonlightning before (should I be ashamed? I have an excuse! I live in Europe!), but I see what you mean with the love-hate connection. And of course Elena is attracted to Legs- he's been her favorite character all that time, after all, and OrlandoBloom!Legolas didn't really help to get him off the first place, either. Her only real problem with Legolas is that she finds him not quite the Mister Perfect she always imagined him to be, and she sort of takes that out on him. I myself have never been too impressed with Legs (he wasn't really impressive in the books, character-wise, let alone in the films), and all the fussing over him after the films came out sort of bothered me, which is why I wrote this parody. Girl loves Legs, and is confronted with reality: he's not Mister Right any more than any other guy. As to whether or not I'd kick Legs (or Orli, for that matter) out of bed... well, uhm... probably not, if only because I know that I wouldn't miss out on a one-night-stand with a hot guy if given half the chance. (I hope a certain someone doesn't read this, or I'm dead meat. Seriously.) I'm just not a fangirl as such, but I agree that he looks fabulous. (Oh, forget it. I'm doomed.) And yes, Elena is a stroppy cow, in deserving of a good flogging. But I think I already said that.
Landos Star – I think you're giving me too much credit for my fic and writing, but hey, I don't mind. It'll be a nice little boost for my ego (uhoh). Update done!
ElvenPickle – Nope, the ant-fear was just a more or less random mentioning, meant to be suggestive and for you to fill in as you like. I don't think it'd enhance the story much if I did explain it anyway either, so I won't bother. I have it all pictured, but it's no use. Spain rocked, by the way. Hope you liked this update!
Mesopotamia – I share your theory about Legolas being less-than-perfect, although I doubt it has anything to do with looks. For elven standards, he's just average, after all. (Imagine the hotness of Finrod Felagund, hottest Elf-guy ever!) There were sexual tensions between them every time, so you were absolutely right there. As to curls- a response to the time I got a perm and discovered that hey, they look nice, but they tangle so easily and are a bitch to tend to. I wouldn't get a perm again, in any case. Just semi-wavy will do for me, it's just less to take care off and I can be horribly lazy looks-wise...
AraelMoonchild – Spiders! Shelob! I loved what they did with Shelob in RotK. Brilliant bit of CGI etc there. I hearted it. Update here, hope you enjoyed it! :)
Insane Person of the Darkness – I'm glad the spider-scene worked out well. If it hadn't, the whole chapter would just have been crappy. I mean, if it lacked good description and a bit of suspense there, it would've missed the mark... and Spain was terrific. Horribly hot, but terrific.
Natzlin – I know, I guess I felt I just had to do spiders somewhere. Saying 'Mirkwood' is saying 'spiders,' obviously, like saying 'Shire' means saying 'Hobbits'. I just have this odd soft spot for oversized evil spiders. They rock. I ended up liking Tinwë as well- at first I feared I just couldn't, because he's a lot like Legolas, but he's entirely different at the same time. As to elvish, and in this case Sindarin- I must've spent far too much time in learning how to use it, but it's just such a beautiful language. And I feel that it's wrong to make up my own excuse for elvish in fan fiction simply because I'm too lazy to learn the real thing when all the sources are available. Yes, I do read slash now and then, but I don't really go look for it anymore. I find that most of the stories have a much too similar plot line (especially Aragorn/Legolas, which happens to be my favorite pairing), and then it gets boring. If you know some really good and original slashfics though, just tell me where to find them and what they're called.
Black Pearl – I don't feel sorry for Elena at all, to tell you the truth. She's a selfish bitch, really, and deserves everything that's coming for her. But perhaps that's just me. I like big, evil spiders, though, simply because they make cool bad guys. Like Oliphaunts, except Mirkwood spiders known how to talk. Freaky thought...
Gabby-the-elf – Hmmm, well, seeing as it's a sin not to update and I don't want to burn in Hell... I updated at long last. As for Tinwë leaving again- he had to go because he didn't belong on Earth any more than Elena belongs in Middle-earth, and both of them were very aware of that.
Kat – Prod me again in about for weeks or so from the moment I post this chapter, because I want to get the last two all done on schedule. Don't plan on letting other things get in the way again. Legolas and Elena are just so hopeless sometimes. They just can't seem to stop bickering- they need to be slapped, both of them. And Elena is delightfully daft indeed, almost as if she's trying to get herself killed. Silly bint. Poor, poor Tinwë. Doesn't deserve to be subjected to all that. [cuddles Tinwë]
Elanhin – Give up on IOHITF? Never! I couldn't possibly do that, certainly not now that the finish line is getting in sight, chapter-wise. Legs and Elena still have a little journey ahead of them, of course. As for Tinwë returning... we'll see. Perhaps he still shows up, perhaps not. I'm not telling, in any case. ;)
cutie-lotr-obsessor-chic – I'm not sure if he'd really be such an ass, but I don't think he'd be perfect either. And don't downgrade your own stories! Even if they're not as good as someone else's, you can always take an example from those and use the examples and criticism you get to improve your own writing. It's my strategy, and it's definitely gotten me to improve. If I look back at my first fic ever and look at my style and quality now, I've come a long way, but there's still plenty of road ahead to explore, and that's exactly why writing is still fun and challenging.
Ralf – So, have you made it to this chapter yet? If so, how many times did you run for your dictionary? ;) Probably not often, this should be comprehensible enough even for the likes of you. =P And thanks for pointing out that typo in chapter 2, I'll correct it asap, as you're right. It should read 'bath,' like in the hand-written version, but I somehow fucked up typing it out. Surprised no one else noticed. Need to do some editing. Silly, silly Elvy.
Shannon / Enednilwen – By the time I'm writing this response, I have no idea whether or not I replied to your email when I first got it. If so, I'm probably a silly bint for doing it twice, if not, I deserve to be kicked as I usually do that sort of thing straight away. Like yours, my first fic was an evil, and I removed it because it was a monstrosity. Compared to that, IOHITF is so much better. (I get the feeling more and more as I go on that I did write a response back then, but oh well.) I'm not done improving my elvish just yet, as you don't learn all there is to know in a few weeks, but then again, I'm a perfectionist as well as linguistics freak, so I guess it makes sense. As for recommendations for learning elvish, I'd say all works Chris Tolkien published after his father's death are a good start, and as for real courses, I recommend Ardalambion (http:www.uib.no/People/hnohf/) and the courses at Council of Elrond are several online dictionaries as well, but most of them aren't too reliable. I'd stick to Chris Tolkien, the book you have, and the two sites I mentioned. It's hard to tell the nonsense from the real thing sometimes. Dutch is a horrible language, don't bother trying to learn it. I prefer English, really, but then again, I was raised with it as well. And the Glorfindel-essay is my favorite!