Disclaimer: Surprisingly I don't own LOTR.
Authors note: Merry and Pippin have been arrested. The evidence looks bad...but if Frodo wants to free them he must first face the black riders....who are no longer abroad, but in Hobbiton!
The next day Frodo awoke with a hangover and felt as if he should remember something, something important. Presently though he concentrated on keeping his room in focus and not throwing up. He groaned. Something had happened last night. Whatever it was it would interfere with his plans to leave the Shire tomorrow. He knew that much at least. With another groan he lay back, pulled his covers tightly around him and tried to ignore a dull headache. Several hours, cups of tea and hurried trips to the bathroom later Frodo felt well enough to face the day. He had to gather his troops for tomorrow, he hoped none of them had bottled it as he didn't fancy the idea of leaving the Shire alone..not with the possibility of running into the nine...whoever they were, but if it did happen he'd rather have decoys with him at the time. However the day held many surprises for brave Frodo. The first was to find Sam sleeping on his doorstep. He prodded the sleeping hobbit awake.
"Wha? Ah! Mr Frodo I was so worried! I realised something last night and I tried to tell you but there was no answer. I was scared they'd got you!
"What? Sam, slow down."
"Alright...well remember that black cloaked guy with no face we met last night?"
"Yes.", said Frodo slowly
"Well I got thinking on what Gandalf said in those letters and I know it's a bit far fetched but I think that black rider was one of the nine he mentioned!"
Frodo thought for a moment..there had been something not quite right about that rider..he couldn't put his finger on it, but there had been. Then a worse thought occurred to him. "Shit! He said Bag Innessss - he meant me Sam! He was looking for me!"
"I know Mr Frodo!"
He sat down on his door step then, and raked a hand through his dark curls, "we have to leave soon Sam, as a matter of fact we should leave tonight!"
Sam nodded, "I'll start packing"
"And I will tell Merry, Pip and Fredegar", then Frodo added, "because I fear we will need all the help we can get", because it sounded cool.
Sam wasn't there to hear it though, the clatter of pans from inside told Frodo Sam had already started packing. He just kept staring desolately into the distance, somehow his leaving the Shire now felt much more final. Sam called from the kitchen, "Have you eaten yet Mr Frodo? Because I could rustle you up some eggs, bacon and sausages" The thought of food made his stomach turn, "no thanks. I think I'll just go for a walk"
The sky was clear blue, and the sun was at its midday peak as Frodo and Sam strolled towards Fredegars hobbit hole. The fresh air had helped clear Frodo's head, he was sure he'd remember something important any minute. As he knocked on Fredegars front door he realised it may not matter if he did as Fredegar would inform him. Sam loitered a few paces behind, glancing from side to side suspiciously. He had insisted on accompanying Frodo as some sort of bodyguard. There was no answer from inside but when Frodo pushed the door, it opened. Fredegars hobbit hole was probably very nice, but since he wasn't an important character the interior was left undiscribed. Frodo called his friends name while Sam scouted each room ahead of him shouting "clear!", every so often.
"In here..", called a weak voice
Frodo was about to enter the bedroom when Sam clamped his hand across his arm.
"It may be a trap Mr Frodo! I should go first."
Frodo didn't for a minute believe it was, but he felt no point in arguing. Sam looked at Frodo, nodded grimly and charged into the room. Such was Sam's entrance that the door swung back on itself, blocking Frodo's view as Sam hit the floor with a thud screaming, "Aaaaaaaargh! A trap! Fly Mr Frodo! Fly!"
Frodo whirled away from the bedroom and selflessly pelted down the hallway without looking back. He might not be able to fly, but when the need gripped him he could run fair enough. The rounded doorway was just ahead, a circle of light and safety. Then, just before he reached the entrance a stooped black figure atop a black horse moved to cut off the light. Frodo skidded to a halt and dived behind a coat stand. It was lucky that it held a coat to hide him and Fredegar had always worn large coats. Frodo held his breath, not daring to make the smallest sound. Had the black rider noticed him? Was this part of the trap? Or was it chance that brought the rider up the road at that moment? He tried to listen past the thud of his heart for the first tell-tale noise of someone entering the hole.. He waited, and realised an argument was taking place outside.
"That's a weeks worth of vegetables you destroyed!"
"....."
"You can't just go charging around like you own this place you know! There's a ten mile an hour speed limit down at the market basin! It's a built up area you know!"
"...."
Hey are you even listening? We Shire folk don't take kindly to strangers disrupting market day!"
"....."
"What's this? Mordor coinage! You can't use this stuff down here! My stall was worth at least ten gold!"
"...."
"No, no! That swords only worth five at best!"
"...."
"..Oh. I see"
"Baginsssssss?"
"Yeah, he went in there"
Frodo squirmed and tried to wish himself smaller. It was coming for him. The steady metallic clump of steel boots sounded on the pathway, coming closer, its rhythmic sounds the music of doom, step by inevitable step. Then a scuffling noise as it wiped its feet on the door mat. Then clump. Clump. Clump! The hallway darkened as the figure's cowled head loomed over the coat stand. Frodo shivered, then Froze in fear as it turned its terrible, faceless gaze down upon him.
"Baginssssss?"
Sam stepped into the hallway. "He's over there!", Frodo managed. The strangers head snapped up and locked gazes with the plumb hobbit standing opposite. Then with a hiss it charged. Sword flashing from its hilt, the coat stand was cut in two as it rushed forwards. Sam was unarmed but ready. He ducked the first swing and delivered a snapping backhand blow to its N/A face. Frodo watched from under Fredegars coat. Sam was giving up ground to it as he dodged swipe after swipe. Then darted into the first room he came to. The black stranger hissed its fury and gave chase. Frodo got up, his legs shaking, he knew he should run.but this really was a good fight. The kitchen was lit by a red gold sunset as the black rider and Sam faced off. Sam had used vital seconds to arm himself with a pan and a whisk and met the black rider stroke for stroke. Sparks flew from Fredegars none-stick pan as Sam pushed home a brief advantage only for the black rider to sidestep a whisk uppercut and land an armoured fist into Sam's chest. The plump hobbit skidded to the other side of the room gasping for breath. The black rider advanced, gothic sword raised for the finishing blow. But Sam knew he had this one chance to recover, he rolled just as the rider's sword came down. Next he jumped up on his feet once more and stabbed the whisk into the rider's hood where it vanished into blackness. "Lawks!", cried Sam as the pan dropped from his hands. He had no time to retrieve it however as he ducked a horizontal slash then back flipped onto the worktop. At that moment the sunset darkened to burgundy and the black rider hissed it's frustration, time seemed to slow as both combatants regarded each other. Times like these are always turning points in battles, they happen just before one of the fighters start kicking ass. And as Sam unfurled from a kneeling position eyes cold with steely reserve, holding a pastry-bake apple pie, it was obvious who the victor would be. He hopped a slash aimed at his shins, and shouted "Let them eat cake!", as he plunged the apple pie deep into the riders cowl. Then he somersaulted off the worktop, rolled and came up in a lunging tackle which toppled the rider. Sam wasted no time on his downed opponent however, he sprang away dancing past Fredegars shelves, sink and worktop sending their contents down on the hapless rider in a cascade of unwashed pots and cutlery. Slowly, unsteadily the black rider rose, kitchen utensils falling from its black robes sticky with cream, honey, apple sauce and raspberry jam. "Die!", it rasped in it unnatural hiss. But Sam was quicker, he rained down a barrage of punches and as the rider swooned, "Its time to put the icing on the cake!", he finished it with a double inverted dragon kick.
"No one could ever beat you in the kitchen, Sam", Frodo said from the doorway.
Sam nodded, staring down at his handiwork. The black rider was sprawled unconscious on the kitchen floor. With a heave he grabbed it by the legs and pulled it out of Fredegars hole (Ahem) and into the street.
"How did you escape their trap?", said Frodo as Sam came back inside, dusting his hands. The plump hobbit blushed, "Ah, that was no trap Mr Frodo. Look"
Frodo followed as Sam led him into Fredegars bedroom whose occupant was lying on the floor by the door.
"I tripped over him", Sam explained.
"Damn right you did!", groaned Fredegar, who looked worse than Frodo had that morning.
"What happened to you Fatty?". Said Frodo "What happened to me! What happened to me! You is what bloody happened to me!" Frodo continued to stare at him blankly, "why are you lying on the floor?"
Fredegar snorted "You don't remember? That party last night-"
Sam instantly turned to Frodo, "You said you didn't go to a party last night!"
"Oh, um well I must have forgot."
Sam frowned and crossed his arms. "This would be the party at Merry's place would it?"
"Of course!", gushed Fedegar as Frodo shot him an angry look
"I'm sorry Sam, can you ever forgive me?"
"Sure" . With that out of the way Fredegar continued to explain how he'd broken his ankle on a wooden stool the previous night. "And you!", he shouted pointing at Frodo, "said you'd help me home. Only to dump me on the floor as soon as you opened the door!"
"Well, I did get you home!"
"Yeah, and I've spent all day crawling slowly to my bed! Only for some fool," he gestured at Sam, "To come falling over me! And I don't know what you've done in my kitchen, sounded like a war in there!"
"The kitchens fine", Frodo said quickly. "So I suppose you can't come with us now.."
"In this state.definitely not. But I suppose I came out of last night better off than some."
Frodo, who was beginning to recall bits of last night, just images really, mainly of cider, had a feeling Fredegar was about to unveil that important event that he couldn't remember. This was absolutely true. "Merry and Pippin were arrested for GBH on farmer Maggot." Sam gasped while Frodo groaned. He needed those two..his soldiers. This journey was falling apart before it even started.
To be continued....
Authors note: Merry and Pippin have been arrested. The evidence looks bad...but if Frodo wants to free them he must first face the black riders....who are no longer abroad, but in Hobbiton!
The next day Frodo awoke with a hangover and felt as if he should remember something, something important. Presently though he concentrated on keeping his room in focus and not throwing up. He groaned. Something had happened last night. Whatever it was it would interfere with his plans to leave the Shire tomorrow. He knew that much at least. With another groan he lay back, pulled his covers tightly around him and tried to ignore a dull headache. Several hours, cups of tea and hurried trips to the bathroom later Frodo felt well enough to face the day. He had to gather his troops for tomorrow, he hoped none of them had bottled it as he didn't fancy the idea of leaving the Shire alone..not with the possibility of running into the nine...whoever they were, but if it did happen he'd rather have decoys with him at the time. However the day held many surprises for brave Frodo. The first was to find Sam sleeping on his doorstep. He prodded the sleeping hobbit awake.
"Wha? Ah! Mr Frodo I was so worried! I realised something last night and I tried to tell you but there was no answer. I was scared they'd got you!
"What? Sam, slow down."
"Alright...well remember that black cloaked guy with no face we met last night?"
"Yes.", said Frodo slowly
"Well I got thinking on what Gandalf said in those letters and I know it's a bit far fetched but I think that black rider was one of the nine he mentioned!"
Frodo thought for a moment..there had been something not quite right about that rider..he couldn't put his finger on it, but there had been. Then a worse thought occurred to him. "Shit! He said Bag Innessss - he meant me Sam! He was looking for me!"
"I know Mr Frodo!"
He sat down on his door step then, and raked a hand through his dark curls, "we have to leave soon Sam, as a matter of fact we should leave tonight!"
Sam nodded, "I'll start packing"
"And I will tell Merry, Pip and Fredegar", then Frodo added, "because I fear we will need all the help we can get", because it sounded cool.
Sam wasn't there to hear it though, the clatter of pans from inside told Frodo Sam had already started packing. He just kept staring desolately into the distance, somehow his leaving the Shire now felt much more final. Sam called from the kitchen, "Have you eaten yet Mr Frodo? Because I could rustle you up some eggs, bacon and sausages" The thought of food made his stomach turn, "no thanks. I think I'll just go for a walk"
The sky was clear blue, and the sun was at its midday peak as Frodo and Sam strolled towards Fredegars hobbit hole. The fresh air had helped clear Frodo's head, he was sure he'd remember something important any minute. As he knocked on Fredegars front door he realised it may not matter if he did as Fredegar would inform him. Sam loitered a few paces behind, glancing from side to side suspiciously. He had insisted on accompanying Frodo as some sort of bodyguard. There was no answer from inside but when Frodo pushed the door, it opened. Fredegars hobbit hole was probably very nice, but since he wasn't an important character the interior was left undiscribed. Frodo called his friends name while Sam scouted each room ahead of him shouting "clear!", every so often.
"In here..", called a weak voice
Frodo was about to enter the bedroom when Sam clamped his hand across his arm.
"It may be a trap Mr Frodo! I should go first."
Frodo didn't for a minute believe it was, but he felt no point in arguing. Sam looked at Frodo, nodded grimly and charged into the room. Such was Sam's entrance that the door swung back on itself, blocking Frodo's view as Sam hit the floor with a thud screaming, "Aaaaaaaargh! A trap! Fly Mr Frodo! Fly!"
Frodo whirled away from the bedroom and selflessly pelted down the hallway without looking back. He might not be able to fly, but when the need gripped him he could run fair enough. The rounded doorway was just ahead, a circle of light and safety. Then, just before he reached the entrance a stooped black figure atop a black horse moved to cut off the light. Frodo skidded to a halt and dived behind a coat stand. It was lucky that it held a coat to hide him and Fredegar had always worn large coats. Frodo held his breath, not daring to make the smallest sound. Had the black rider noticed him? Was this part of the trap? Or was it chance that brought the rider up the road at that moment? He tried to listen past the thud of his heart for the first tell-tale noise of someone entering the hole.. He waited, and realised an argument was taking place outside.
"That's a weeks worth of vegetables you destroyed!"
"....."
"You can't just go charging around like you own this place you know! There's a ten mile an hour speed limit down at the market basin! It's a built up area you know!"
"...."
Hey are you even listening? We Shire folk don't take kindly to strangers disrupting market day!"
"....."
"What's this? Mordor coinage! You can't use this stuff down here! My stall was worth at least ten gold!"
"...."
"No, no! That swords only worth five at best!"
"...."
"..Oh. I see"
"Baginsssssss?"
"Yeah, he went in there"
Frodo squirmed and tried to wish himself smaller. It was coming for him. The steady metallic clump of steel boots sounded on the pathway, coming closer, its rhythmic sounds the music of doom, step by inevitable step. Then a scuffling noise as it wiped its feet on the door mat. Then clump. Clump. Clump! The hallway darkened as the figure's cowled head loomed over the coat stand. Frodo shivered, then Froze in fear as it turned its terrible, faceless gaze down upon him.
"Baginssssss?"
Sam stepped into the hallway. "He's over there!", Frodo managed. The strangers head snapped up and locked gazes with the plumb hobbit standing opposite. Then with a hiss it charged. Sword flashing from its hilt, the coat stand was cut in two as it rushed forwards. Sam was unarmed but ready. He ducked the first swing and delivered a snapping backhand blow to its N/A face. Frodo watched from under Fredegars coat. Sam was giving up ground to it as he dodged swipe after swipe. Then darted into the first room he came to. The black stranger hissed its fury and gave chase. Frodo got up, his legs shaking, he knew he should run.but this really was a good fight. The kitchen was lit by a red gold sunset as the black rider and Sam faced off. Sam had used vital seconds to arm himself with a pan and a whisk and met the black rider stroke for stroke. Sparks flew from Fredegars none-stick pan as Sam pushed home a brief advantage only for the black rider to sidestep a whisk uppercut and land an armoured fist into Sam's chest. The plump hobbit skidded to the other side of the room gasping for breath. The black rider advanced, gothic sword raised for the finishing blow. But Sam knew he had this one chance to recover, he rolled just as the rider's sword came down. Next he jumped up on his feet once more and stabbed the whisk into the rider's hood where it vanished into blackness. "Lawks!", cried Sam as the pan dropped from his hands. He had no time to retrieve it however as he ducked a horizontal slash then back flipped onto the worktop. At that moment the sunset darkened to burgundy and the black rider hissed it's frustration, time seemed to slow as both combatants regarded each other. Times like these are always turning points in battles, they happen just before one of the fighters start kicking ass. And as Sam unfurled from a kneeling position eyes cold with steely reserve, holding a pastry-bake apple pie, it was obvious who the victor would be. He hopped a slash aimed at his shins, and shouted "Let them eat cake!", as he plunged the apple pie deep into the riders cowl. Then he somersaulted off the worktop, rolled and came up in a lunging tackle which toppled the rider. Sam wasted no time on his downed opponent however, he sprang away dancing past Fredegars shelves, sink and worktop sending their contents down on the hapless rider in a cascade of unwashed pots and cutlery. Slowly, unsteadily the black rider rose, kitchen utensils falling from its black robes sticky with cream, honey, apple sauce and raspberry jam. "Die!", it rasped in it unnatural hiss. But Sam was quicker, he rained down a barrage of punches and as the rider swooned, "Its time to put the icing on the cake!", he finished it with a double inverted dragon kick.
"No one could ever beat you in the kitchen, Sam", Frodo said from the doorway.
Sam nodded, staring down at his handiwork. The black rider was sprawled unconscious on the kitchen floor. With a heave he grabbed it by the legs and pulled it out of Fredegars hole (Ahem) and into the street.
"How did you escape their trap?", said Frodo as Sam came back inside, dusting his hands. The plump hobbit blushed, "Ah, that was no trap Mr Frodo. Look"
Frodo followed as Sam led him into Fredegars bedroom whose occupant was lying on the floor by the door.
"I tripped over him", Sam explained.
"Damn right you did!", groaned Fredegar, who looked worse than Frodo had that morning.
"What happened to you Fatty?". Said Frodo "What happened to me! What happened to me! You is what bloody happened to me!" Frodo continued to stare at him blankly, "why are you lying on the floor?"
Fredegar snorted "You don't remember? That party last night-"
Sam instantly turned to Frodo, "You said you didn't go to a party last night!"
"Oh, um well I must have forgot."
Sam frowned and crossed his arms. "This would be the party at Merry's place would it?"
"Of course!", gushed Fedegar as Frodo shot him an angry look
"I'm sorry Sam, can you ever forgive me?"
"Sure" . With that out of the way Fredegar continued to explain how he'd broken his ankle on a wooden stool the previous night. "And you!", he shouted pointing at Frodo, "said you'd help me home. Only to dump me on the floor as soon as you opened the door!"
"Well, I did get you home!"
"Yeah, and I've spent all day crawling slowly to my bed! Only for some fool," he gestured at Sam, "To come falling over me! And I don't know what you've done in my kitchen, sounded like a war in there!"
"The kitchens fine", Frodo said quickly. "So I suppose you can't come with us now.."
"In this state.definitely not. But I suppose I came out of last night better off than some."
Frodo, who was beginning to recall bits of last night, just images really, mainly of cider, had a feeling Fredegar was about to unveil that important event that he couldn't remember. This was absolutely true. "Merry and Pippin were arrested for GBH on farmer Maggot." Sam gasped while Frodo groaned. He needed those two..his soldiers. This journey was falling apart before it even started.
To be continued....