Chapter 2: A Talk with Remus
Moony's Story
This Chapter is dedicated to Lizzybelle, my first reviewer, and a new one at that! You made my day.
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History of Magic is the most boring class in the history of magic.
Seriously.
You'd think having a ghost for a teacher would be kind of cool, but in truth sometimes I wish Professor Binns had just stayed in the grave. Then maybe we'd have a teacher who wouldn't make me think longingly of my four-poster up in the Gryffindor tower at least ten times a lesson.
There are really only two good things about History of Magic.
Number one-- He's in this class. Well, in all of them, actually, since we're in the same house, but I never get tired of admiring the back of his head. That's all I could see from this angle.
I tuned out Professor Binns's drone and scribbled his name in elegant, looping cursive. Remus Lupin. Those two words occupied every square inch of my parchment. And an awful big piece of my heart, too.
"Mara," Lily hissed in my ear. Her quill was darting back and forth over her roll of parchment. "You're supposed to be taking notes."
"It's too early," I yawned back. "How am I supposed to pay attention when all I can think of is my bed?"
Lily shrugged and roughly pushed her curtain of copper hair out of her face. I knew the only reason she was sitting next to me was because we're cousins and Gryffindors don't have History of Magic with the Ravenclaws, so she couldn't sit with Sami, her best friend. I redirected my attention to the wispy curls at the nape of Remus's neck.
The second good thing about History of Magic is it's one of the only classes I ever get good marks in, mainly because it's one of the few that doesn't involve magic. Anything that requires a wand is totally lost on me. I've been called a Squib, (not to mention a Mudblood, but select Slytherins) and sometimes I have to admit they may be right. I can't even levitate anything without my wand giving me trouble. Usually attempts to do magic on my part result in me blowing something up.
I know that there are, in fact, a lot of classes that don't involve using magic, but I have a brown thumb in Herbology and am always falling asleep in Astronomy. The only class I've ever really passed on my own besides History of Magic is Muggle Studies. Three guesses why.
So, yeah, normally I would be taking notes just like Lily. But give me a break. I was up late last night.
I was absentmindedly doodling a heart with Remus's initials in it when the bell signaling the end of class finally rang. I gathered my books, crumpled the scrap of parchment in my fist, and followed the other students out the door.
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I had Potions that day too, which wasn't as complete a disaster as it would have been, say, two summers ago, when I found out that in some bizarre twist of fate I had received an O on my Potions O.W.L. and had to continue mixing up weird concoctions until I graduated. I think Dumbledore actually stepped in and changed my grade because otherwise I wouldn't be able to take any subjects other than the two mentioned above, which is quite an insult to my pride. I have a feeling he also interfered with my Astronomy, Herbology, Defense Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration grades. But I'll admit I'm thankful now; Potions, for one, is starting to grow on me. I haven't spilled anything poisonous on myself in the last four lessons.
The bell signaling that classes were over and dinner was being served was quite welcome, and I proceeded upstairs to grab two apples, a chicken leg and a flagon of pumpkin juice. This is what I have for dinner every day. Not having any close friends, I don't particularly enjoy eating my meals in the Great Hall. I stashed my meal in a napkin and headed upstairs to the Gryffindor common room, planning to get a head start on my homework.
"Erumpent horn," I murmured to the Fat Lady, who swung open. I stepped through the portrait hole, took one look at the person sitting in the armchair by the fire, and abruptly turned on my heel.
"Hey Mara, wait!" Remus called after me anxiously. I paused, one leg already through, and grimaced. Then I turned around to face him.
"What?"
"Can I talk to you?"
"Why?"
Inside, my heart started fluttering. He hadn't talked to me in years. It's extremely depressing when you haven't talked to your former best friend in years, and you also happen to be secretly in love with him.
"Because . . . I want to."
This was were my expectations started to go up. Way up. I'll admit, those four words made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. In the end, though, I regretted those warm fuzzy feelings.
"Oh- okay."
I was in such a rush to get to him, I forgot one of my legs was still outside in the corridor. I took one step, tripped, and fell flat on my face.
"Mara!" Remus exclaimed, wearing an expression halfway between concern and difficult restraint. Restraint from bursting out laughing, that is.
He started to rise from his chair. "No!" I stammered frantically, as I scrambled up and hastened to catch the apples rolling around on the floor. "It- it's alright, I'm fine." Remus sank back down into his armchair, looking worried.
I lurched over to the armchair next to him and collapsed in it, completely mortified. I tried to rub my knee inconspicuously, but failed miserably. There was a long, distinct silence.
"Well, I don't really know how to say this," Remus murmured softly. He was speaking slowly, and choosing his words very carefully.
I nodded in a way I hoped was encouraging, still trying to block out the acute pain in my leg. There was going to be a bruise there, I could tell.
"There's this person, see," he continued finally. "And I can't get them out of my head."
"Go on," I said, a little too quickly. I was suddenly very interested.
"I've liked them for a long time, and . . .I want to know if they feel the same," he mumbled, looking into the fire.
"Ask them," I said, trying hard to disguise my eagerness. If he meant . . .well, if he meant me, I couldn't very well make it obvious I liked him back.
"But they'll probably reject me," Remus breathed. I had to read his lips to understand him. It must be hard for a guy to say these things to a girl, or something.
"Why would they reject you?" I asked, attempting to make the prospect sound ridiculous. He finally moved his gaze to my face, and shook his head.
"Because I'm a wer-- I'm not good enough for them," he said hastily, and he blanched.
I cocked my head. "Don't say that," I said incredulously. "Where's your confidence? Any girl would be lucky to have you." I was starting to sound stupid, but I ignored it.
He grinned lopsidedly. "You really think so?"
His face was a lot closer to mine now, and my checks were growing hot. "Sure." My heart was beating a wild rhythm against my rib cage, and I was sure he could hear it.
Remus paused, as though contemplating something. "It's hard to see it from her perspective."
I was lost in his clear blue eyes. "What? Oh . . .er . . .how do you know she hasn't felt the same way for a long time, and right now is wondering who you like?"
He blinked. "Well, I don't."
"Exactly," I said earnestly. "Look at it this way: if you don't ask her you'll regret it, and if you do either she'll say no and you can get on with your life, or she'll say yes and you can live happily ever after." Remus snorted. Then his eyes softened, taking on a more serious edge.
"Thanks. It's helped, talking to you. It always has."
I nearly fainted from elation.
"Well, if I ever work up the nerve, I'll ask her, and remember what you said," he continued.
"Tell me how it goes, alright?" I asked, hoping he wouldn't need to seeing as I'd be the one he was asking anyway.
"Yeah, sure," he said carelessly. He ran his fingers through his hair, which was glinting slightly in the flames. "I think I'll go upstairs; get a head start on that Potions essay." He turned to leave.
"Wait-- who is it?"
His face flushed. "Oh- I think you know her, she's your cousin's best friend, isn't she?" I froze, completely numb. "She's in Ravenclaw, her name's-"
"Sami Jackson, right?" I asked, crestfallen.
"Yes," Remus replied, looking slightly uncomfortable. I stared at my hands.
"Well-- well, bye," he said, and disappeared up the boys' staircases.
I waited until the sounds of his footsteps died away, then hastened through the portrait hole, seething, my dinner forgotten.
Of course he would have a crush on someone like her,with the looks and popularity and intelligence. It wouldn't be fitting for Remus to look at me that way; how could someone that close with Sirius Black and James Potter go out with Mara Wilson? I know I'm the brunt of all the jokes, Mara Wilson with the weird eyes and the shaking hands and no friends. You don't see someone like Sami Jackson blowing up a teakettle when all she had to do was make it whistle to the tune of a Weird Sisters song.
I wandered around from floor to floor, my anger piqued and my head a mess. Soon my frustration was directed at myself, and not Sami or Remus. Who had I been kidding, to think he meant me?
Slowly, the jostling crowd of students returning from dinner dissipated, and then vanished all together. The sky outside was gradually becoming darker and darker. Each of my footsteps echoed menacingly off the walls, making me more than aware of my loneliness. Eventually, the torches along the halls magically lit themselves and I realized I had better get back to my common room if I didn't want a detention.
I paused for a moment, drying my eyes with the back of my hand and getting my bearings. I was on the second floor, and I needed to get all the way up to the seventh.
That's when all the torches went out.
I blinked a few times, trying to get my eyes to adjust to the sudden darkness. I wondered for a moment if it was just the wind, although I hadn't seen any open windows, or Peeves playing a joke on me. Suddenly a feeling of intense wariness shuddered through me, and I knew this wasn't a joke. Something was wrong.
I took a step forward, my wand out. Then another step, and another . . .I stubbed my toe on a suit of armor, which wheezed patronizingly. My eyes watered.
"Oh, you stupid, feebleminded lump of rubbish," I hissed, hopping around and letting out a colorful string of curse words. The armor clanked threateningly.
My rant ended unexpectedly when a cold, clammy hand fastened itself over my mouth.
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Dun dun dun!
Cliffhangers are two-faced. I like them when I write them myself, but when someone else writes one I hate it.
I know not much has been explained yet, (you don't even know what Mara looks like) but it will be explained as we go along.
And now, to reply to my reviewers! I was so pleased that so many of you came back, as most of the reviewers had reviewed my other story, too. And I've always thought that seven sounds so much more than six.
Lizzybelle: Yay, first reviewer! Thanks, and I hope I helped with you Chapter problem.
BlackLupin: Not quite the first reviewer, but close, lol! Don't worry, I've done that a few times too. And yeah, I think you could tell that Sami's also in this fic- hope that doesn't disappoint you. This story basically goes into more detail about what happened in my last one, who was involved, etc. You better have your next chapter posted soon, to continue our telepathic connection!
Silver Phoenix25: Thanks a lot, that review was all I needed to boost my confidence on that issue! It wasn't as good as yours, of course, but it never could be. I finally finished Perfect World . . .and it was awesome, especially Ron's proposal!
Smiley-Freak :D : Thanks a bunch! Here's the next Chapter, then.
alwaysginny: Thank you. I'm sure Barney would love to meet George, maybe they can write a song together!
Snuffles2984: I like that line, too. I'm quite proud of it. (smirks) I like you story, I'm working my way through it whenever I can find the time to sneak in a Chapter. I will finish it eventually, though, you can count on it.
11 days left! (Sings) It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas . . .
-Padfoot-Dreamer-