Disclaimer: I don't own LOTR, the same applies to my previous chapter
where I forgot to include a disclaimer. Additionally anything I have
written here is untrue/ and or stupid and not to be confused with J.R.R
Tolkiens "The Lord of the Rings" – which is actually quite good.
Foreword: At the end of our previous chapter Pippin had swallowed the ring of power in an attempt to ape Tombombadil's trick. However Pippin is just a hobbit and not a "master" like Tom so the ring currently resides somewhere inside his digestive system. As a consequence, Pippin begins to experience accelerated evil side effects. This side story was planned in the original text but was scrapped at the last minute to save time and avoid morality issues. (that become apparent at a later stage)
Part 3
Wrapped snugly in his bed, Fredegar decided he would have another lie- in. How lucky he had been he reflected to have missed out on Frodo's journey. His broken ankle (a blessing in disguise) was mending nicely, his hobbit hole was comfortable and warm, so was the weather, if indeed he had any inclination to go outside, which he didn't. Instead he nuzzled his pillow indulgently and closed his eyes. Just before he lost himself to sleep, a worrying thought flitted across his mind. What if Frodo and the others come back as rich heroes whose names would ever be engraved in hobbit history?...........Naw....it was unlikely.
The same fine weather saw Frodo and his friend's departure from Tom's house.
"Remember!", said Tom, "stay away from the Barrow Downs....and watch young Pippin here.... For he has swallowed the ring of power and may experience evil side effects!"
At this the hobbits edged slightly away from Pippin who complained, "I don't feel evil!"
Although Frodo for one was quite relieved that he didn't have to deal with the ring for a time, until of course it passed through Pippins system.
"Well be sure to tell us when you do start to feel evil", warned Sam
"And now before you depart from my gay house-"
"Er... is that gay as in happy, or"
Tom talked over Frodo: "I will teach you a song to sing in case you stray into trouble today. Simply sing it, and I will come to you're aid!"
The hobbits looked at each other doubtfully.
"Ho! Tombombadil, Tombombadillo! By water, wood and hill, by reed and willow, Ho! Tombombadil, like a lightening flash, Ho! Tombombadil, turn our foes to mash! You're boots are yellow, your eyes are bright, Ho! Tombombadil, what a merry sight! For dangers lurks, shadow and death to name a few, Come quick Tombombadil, for my pants are filled with poo!"
On that note the hobbits departed, waving back to Tom and Goldberry they set about their journey. For a time they travelled in good spirits, joking with each other, laughing and singing hobbit songs.
"For we are four hobbits, on our merry way! For we are four hobbits, travelling by the day! For we are brave hobbits, out to make a stand! For we are brave hobbits, with our route unplanned! For we are four hobbits, set out for strange land!"
And so on...
"I wonder if that song of Toms actually works?", mused Frodo as the four hobbits settled down for a rest.
The day had grown darker, and an unusual stone nearby cast its shadow over them. The shadow looked somewhat like a hamster.
"Well there's only one way to find out !", said Merry who was now lighting up a pipe with Pippin. ("not feeling evil you?") as he handed him some pipe weed.
Together they sang the song
"......my pants are filled with poo!"
(Pippin ended the song in hysterical laughter)
Silence. "I think he was joking", offered Sam who was now cooking sausages over a fire.
"Yeah....suppose it is a bit silly really", said Merry.
However, just as the hobbits were about to give up hope they heard Tom wailing. Smash! The rotund man dropped out of the sky and into Sam's fire, scattering sausages.
"Aaaaagh! It burns!", he yelled, jumping out of the fire with his blue coat in flames. Luckily one does not become a "master" without knowing how to act in such a situation and Tom rolled on the floor until the flames went out.
"What on earths wrong?", he said dusting off his charred jacket
"Ah... sorry Tom we were just testing the song to make sure it works"
"Well that makes some sense I'll grant you", he puffed, "but please from now on just use it in emergencies! I get enough hoaxes as it is....And that fire really was hot"
The hobbits nodded, except Pippin who was grinning in a disconcerting way. However, no one noticed.
Sam was retrieving his sausages, "Well we didn't think you'd come falling from the sky, look you've ruined Mr Frodo's dinner!"
"Oh yes!", said Tom brightly, "that reminds me I haven't eaten yet!"
Sam had just gathered back all his sausages when Tom swiped them out of his open palms.
"Ah! These will do nicely, thanks!", he said, as he rose into the air and flew off before Sam could react.
"There goes dinner...", said Sam, unhappily staring at a receding dot in the horizon. Later that night, three hobbits slept wrapped tightly in their blankets while one of their number carved letters into the dirt....
Authors note: Alright that was quite a short chapter, but the next one will be much bigger, and will be written much quicker too!
Foreword: At the end of our previous chapter Pippin had swallowed the ring of power in an attempt to ape Tombombadil's trick. However Pippin is just a hobbit and not a "master" like Tom so the ring currently resides somewhere inside his digestive system. As a consequence, Pippin begins to experience accelerated evil side effects. This side story was planned in the original text but was scrapped at the last minute to save time and avoid morality issues. (that become apparent at a later stage)
Part 3
Wrapped snugly in his bed, Fredegar decided he would have another lie- in. How lucky he had been he reflected to have missed out on Frodo's journey. His broken ankle (a blessing in disguise) was mending nicely, his hobbit hole was comfortable and warm, so was the weather, if indeed he had any inclination to go outside, which he didn't. Instead he nuzzled his pillow indulgently and closed his eyes. Just before he lost himself to sleep, a worrying thought flitted across his mind. What if Frodo and the others come back as rich heroes whose names would ever be engraved in hobbit history?...........Naw....it was unlikely.
The same fine weather saw Frodo and his friend's departure from Tom's house.
"Remember!", said Tom, "stay away from the Barrow Downs....and watch young Pippin here.... For he has swallowed the ring of power and may experience evil side effects!"
At this the hobbits edged slightly away from Pippin who complained, "I don't feel evil!"
Although Frodo for one was quite relieved that he didn't have to deal with the ring for a time, until of course it passed through Pippins system.
"Well be sure to tell us when you do start to feel evil", warned Sam
"And now before you depart from my gay house-"
"Er... is that gay as in happy, or"
Tom talked over Frodo: "I will teach you a song to sing in case you stray into trouble today. Simply sing it, and I will come to you're aid!"
The hobbits looked at each other doubtfully.
"Ho! Tombombadil, Tombombadillo! By water, wood and hill, by reed and willow, Ho! Tombombadil, like a lightening flash, Ho! Tombombadil, turn our foes to mash! You're boots are yellow, your eyes are bright, Ho! Tombombadil, what a merry sight! For dangers lurks, shadow and death to name a few, Come quick Tombombadil, for my pants are filled with poo!"
On that note the hobbits departed, waving back to Tom and Goldberry they set about their journey. For a time they travelled in good spirits, joking with each other, laughing and singing hobbit songs.
"For we are four hobbits, on our merry way! For we are four hobbits, travelling by the day! For we are brave hobbits, out to make a stand! For we are brave hobbits, with our route unplanned! For we are four hobbits, set out for strange land!"
And so on...
"I wonder if that song of Toms actually works?", mused Frodo as the four hobbits settled down for a rest.
The day had grown darker, and an unusual stone nearby cast its shadow over them. The shadow looked somewhat like a hamster.
"Well there's only one way to find out !", said Merry who was now lighting up a pipe with Pippin. ("not feeling evil you?") as he handed him some pipe weed.
Together they sang the song
"......my pants are filled with poo!"
(Pippin ended the song in hysterical laughter)
Silence. "I think he was joking", offered Sam who was now cooking sausages over a fire.
"Yeah....suppose it is a bit silly really", said Merry.
However, just as the hobbits were about to give up hope they heard Tom wailing. Smash! The rotund man dropped out of the sky and into Sam's fire, scattering sausages.
"Aaaaagh! It burns!", he yelled, jumping out of the fire with his blue coat in flames. Luckily one does not become a "master" without knowing how to act in such a situation and Tom rolled on the floor until the flames went out.
"What on earths wrong?", he said dusting off his charred jacket
"Ah... sorry Tom we were just testing the song to make sure it works"
"Well that makes some sense I'll grant you", he puffed, "but please from now on just use it in emergencies! I get enough hoaxes as it is....And that fire really was hot"
The hobbits nodded, except Pippin who was grinning in a disconcerting way. However, no one noticed.
Sam was retrieving his sausages, "Well we didn't think you'd come falling from the sky, look you've ruined Mr Frodo's dinner!"
"Oh yes!", said Tom brightly, "that reminds me I haven't eaten yet!"
Sam had just gathered back all his sausages when Tom swiped them out of his open palms.
"Ah! These will do nicely, thanks!", he said, as he rose into the air and flew off before Sam could react.
"There goes dinner...", said Sam, unhappily staring at a receding dot in the horizon. Later that night, three hobbits slept wrapped tightly in their blankets while one of their number carved letters into the dirt....
Authors note: Alright that was quite a short chapter, but the next one will be much bigger, and will be written much quicker too!