Chapter 9: Music from the Soul

Moony's Story

Not a lot to say at the beginning of this chapter. Yes, the romance will finally start…you also find out the meaning of this story's title…and, once again, it took me a month to post this. Wonderful. But I really like this chapter— it was the one I was most excited to write— so hopefully that makes up for it.

By the way, has anyone here seen Prisoner of Azkaban? What did you think of it? I loved it, personally. Finally, Sirius in a movie!

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"Erumpent horn," muttered Sirius to the Fat Lady. She was asleep, which wasn't surprising- it was past midnight and the corridor was dark. He sent red sparks at her from under the cloak, and she woke up in a huff.

"Who's there?" she said shrilly.

"Erumpent horn," Sirius repeated under his breath.

The Fat Lady stared through the darkness, trying to locate the source of the voice. When she found nothing, she grinned sleepily.

"It's you lot, is it?" she asked. "Well, you're out of luck, the password was changed tonight. If you weren't off breaking school rules, you'd know how to get in."

Sirius cursed.

"Aw, stop, Padfoot, it's too late. Here, I've got it covered." James dug in his pocket and pulled out a rumpled piece of parchment.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

I watched over James' shoulder as thin, spidery strands spread across the Marauders' Map, forming a detailed picture of the castle and grounds. It was impossible not to feel a sense of pride whenever I looked at it.

James waited patiently for the Map to complete itself. Sure enough, once it was done, you could see the four Marauders huddled together directly outside Gryffindor Tower. A tiny dot labeled "Sirius Black" was saying something to the Fat Lady's portrait. Sirius lit his wand and squinted at the tiny print.

"Polaris!" he exclaimed triumphantly, as soon as he could read the word. The Fat Lady raised her eyebrows and swung open.

We hadn't really been doing anything bad tonight— we just had the urge for sweets at a late hour, and headed to the kitchens to pig out. Of course, James had decided to have a little fun and gave the house elves a potion from Zonko's to slip into the Slytherins' food, but it wasn't that big a deal. We'd all get a good laugh from it and that would be that.

Slowly and carefully, James, Sirius and I stepped into the common room. It was difficult with three of us under the cloak— wistfully I remembered when we were in third and fourth year and the cloak had covered all four of us easily. We waited for a moment as a small brown rat scurried in behind us, then closed the portrait hole.

We turned around, ready to pull off the cloak, and then froze.

Mara Wilson, tiny Mara Wilson, was sitting in an armchair pulled close to the dying fire. In her arms she held a guitar, and she was strumming it lovingly. Soft, light notes floated across the room so quietly I had to concentrate to hear them. I was spellbound.

Sirius was the first to snap out of it.

"Let's go, before she hears us," he whispered, and stepped forward.

"Wait," I said, resisting. I didn't want to leave yet. I had never known Mara ever owned a guitar, much less knew how to play one.

Sirius scowled. "I'm not waiting much longer. I want some sleep before that Herbology test tomorrow."

"Sirius Black doesn't study for tests," I retorted.

"You need some sleep too, Moony, tomorrow's full moon," James said flatly.

It was true, and the bags under my eyes showed it. Twenty-four hours from now, the monster in me would take over. But I couldn't bear to think of this now, not when such a beautiful girl was only a few meters away.

Suddenly Mara stopped playing, and looked straight at us. We all caught our breath. James had his hands clamped around Peter, who was wriggling madly in fear.

Mara had a strange, haunted look on her face, as if she had been expecting something bad to happen. Then she shrugged and struck up a bright, fast paced tune, her fingers rapidly moving back and forth across the strings.

Sirius stomped on my foot.

"Let's go," he hissed. I shook my head.

"Padfoot's right, Moony, that was way too close," added James. "We have to get to our dormitory." Peter squeaked in agreement.

Unwillingly, I allowed myself to be steered across the common room and towards the stairs. I tried to imprint the song Mara was playing upon my memory. It was so moving, uplifting.

I watched her face as we passed her chair, the way the light from the dying embers gently caressed her skin. Her eyes were closed, her blonde hair hanging in her face. Never had she been so breathtaking.

Slowly, we made our way around to the bottom of the stone steps. I took one last look at Mara and turned, preparing to follow my fellow Marauders up the stairs.

But after what happened the next moment, there was no way I could have left. Mara had started singing.

"Can't you see?

There's a feeling that's come over me

Close my eyes

You're the only one that leaves me completely breathless…"

I couldn't stop staring; I had to keep listening, drinking her in. I couldn't believe how much I had never known about her.

"Moony?" James asked uncertainly. I think he knew I was too far gone to reach.

"Just go," I whispered, gesturing vaguely up the staircase. My friends began ascending, and I felt the Invisibility Cloak slip off my shoulders. I was visible again.

"No need to wonder why
Sometimes a gift like this you can't deny…"

Gradually, step-by-step, I edged around her chair in a wide arc. There she was, perfect, a feast for my eyes. I had never thought of her this way before. I had never even considered her good-looking, but I realized now I just hadn't looked deep enough. I was glimpsing a part of Mara no one had ever seen.

"Cause I wanted to fly, so you gave me your wings

And time held its breath so I could see, yeah

And you set me free…"

Her voice was otherworldly. All thoughts of Sami, the girl I thought I loved, had been completely wiped from my mind. Surely no human being could be this incredible. I sat down in a scarlet armchair directly opposite of her, but still her eyes were shut and she didn't see me. I found myself hoping she would never open them; never know I was there, so that I could listen to her sing forever.

"There's a will

There's a way

Sometimes words just can't explain

This is real

I'm afraid

I guess this time there's just no hiding, fighting

You make me restless…"

I examined her face, the skin that was usually so pale but that tonight was bathed in a soft glow. There was a purple bruise on one cheek I hadn't noticed before. It pained me to realize how little attention I had paid to her these last seven years. What was wrong with me? I had completely destroyed the friendship we had had. This was my mistake, and I was going to make it up to her.

"You're in my heart

The only light that shines there in the dark…"

The peaceful expression on her face was slowly fading. She sniffed, and a single tear rolled down her cheek.

"Cause I wanted to fly…so…you gave me…"

Her voice splintered, and she stopped playing altogether. The tears kept coming, faster and faster— she was crying.

I wanted to hold her, to soothe her fears and make them disappear. She didn't deserve to be so unhappy! I wanted to help her with all of my heart, but I didn't have the strength to move.

Mara lifted one hand to her face and covered her mouth as she sobbed. She had started shaking. I couldn't take it anymore— I reached out and grabbed her free hand. Her skin was soft and cool in mine.

Immediately her eyes flew open, and I saw her shock in her eyes. Her eyes, always so expressive, tonight conveyed a message more clearly than words: Help me.

I reached out and pulled her to me, bringing her closer until she was on my lap and the guitar lay forgotten on the floor.

Spasms continued to wrack her body and my arms encircled her back. Hers went around my neck.

I began to stroke her hair. "Shh, it's okay…don't cry…" I repeated over and over, not knowing what else to say. Slowly her tears subsided, and she turned her head to the side so that it was no longer buried in my chest. My shirt was soaked through, but I didn't care.

"I'm sorry," she said, and shuddered. "I shouldn't have…it was stupid…I shouldn't have cried like this…"

"It doesn't matter," I said, holding her tighter. Butterflies were bouncing around in the pit of my stomach. I had never had feelings this strong about Sami. Such emotion, for me, was completely new.

What a waste my years with Mara had been. I hadn't had the guts to listen to what my heart was stubbornly trying to tell me. Now I couldn't possibly let her go.

"Oh…I got you all wet…I won't bother you, I'll go to bed now…" She struggled, but I wasn't about to let her feel guilty about this.

"You aren't bothering me, you never have. I'm here if you want to talk." She looked up until her eyes were boring directly into mine. I felt my knees go weak.

She took a deep breath. "Okay…my father taught me to play guitar…it's what kept me going while I was at the orphanage. I play every night…it's all I have left of my parents," she said, slowly and quietly. I gently wiped the half-dried tears off her face with my thumb, and she gave me a small smile.

"I play it every night, down here…where no one will bother me, and it's quiet, and I can think…normally I'm okay, but tonight is the anniversary of the night my parents were murd— I mean, the night they died."

I frowned. "What were you going to say? Did you just say they were murdered?"

Mara looked at me in terror. Then her face relaxed and she nodded wearily.

I was in outrage. "I can't believe it!" I exclaimed, and she winced. "Who did it? I'll kill them, I'll—"

I was silenced when Mara touched her fingers to my lips.

"Stop," she said quietly. "There's nothing that you can do. No one can bring them back." I softened.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's fine."

We sat in silence for a few moments, holding each other and gazing into the fire. It was pure bliss. God, how I wanted her. I needed her, now.

"Mara?" I asked suddenly. It was amazing that I had the courage to ask what I was about to ask.

"Mmm?"

"Can I kiss you?"

She started violently, and for a second I thought she would refuse— then she tilted her head upward and looked me in the eye.

"Of course."

She closed her eyes and I slowly bent down to meet her lips…but then—

"Damn it!" Mara yelled suddenly, clapping a hand to her forehead. I wrenched my head upward.

She jumped out of my arms and started stomping around the common room, cursing. I watched her in confusion. What did I do wrong? Pain and feelings of rejection flooded through me.

After an eternity Mara stopped short and stared at me. Horror flashed across her face and she clapped a hand to her mouth.

"Oh my— Remus…I'm so sorry…"

But I couldn't stand being near her another minute. I fled to the stairs, ignoring her cries of "Remus, wait!" I ran as fast as I could and didn't stop until I had wrenched open the dormitory door and flung myself onto my bed.

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Aww…I liked writing that chapter…I feel so bad about the ending! But hey, there was romance, right? RIGHT? lol. I'm so happy: on Thursday, I graduate from middle school! Bring on the summer! So what if high school is waiting at the end of it…

BlackKat99: Wow! I'm so flattered! Is this seriously your favorite fic? I'm in awe! I'll give you a cookie. No, two cookies. And sure, I'll send you an email and try not to forget. Your fic is as awesome as ever, by the way. I love Arya, the mischievous little demon!

FallenHarusame: I noticed you changed your name! What's it mean?

Elfy-Elf Girl: Thanks for the review! There were subtle hints about Mara and Voldemort in this chapter, but if I'm not mistaken it's the next one that has a lot of action between them.

Snuffles2984: I'm totally up to date on 'Fallen,' and I LOVE it! Way to write a fabulous Sirius fic! Plus you update like every other day, which is perfect. Unlike me in all my laziness

BlackLupin: Well, Sami didn't exactly turn Remus down but he seems to have forgotten her for the moment :)

Smiley-Freak :D: Thanks for your faithful reviewing!

Daemon of the Lyre: Hmm…maybe she'll tell Sami her other secret someday…(tries to keep reader in suspense)

Thanks a bunch for the reviews, everyone! Now review this chapter! (Please!)

-Padfoot-Dreamer-