Pushing away from my desk, I leaned back in my chair and rotated my neck to stretch out the kinks. It had been a long day in an even longer week, as endless reams of paperwork somehow found their way to my desk. For someone on the verge of becoming a fully qualified field agent, I spent an inordinate amount of time filling out forms and alphabetizing files.
Although, I had to admit, even Lee was swamped with paperwork at the moment. It occupied him so thoroughly that he hadn't spared me so much as a glance over the last two hours. This from the man who, only a few short months ago, had proclaimed sitting across the room without being able to touch me "cruel and unusual torture."
Maybe it was time to take matters into my own hands. I gathered my work and headed into the vault to file my papers for safekeeping over the weekend. Pausing just long enough to run quick fingers through my hair, I fixed my face in a determined smile and marched over to my husband's desk.
"Phillip has another ballgame tonight," I said. "In case you're interested."
Lee answered without looking up. "So he told me. He seemed pretty excited about the big win the other night."
I tilted my head. "When did you talk to Phillip?"
"He, uh, called the office the other day, while you were down in the bullpen. He said it was nothing important, and you didn't need to call him back." He shrugged. "I suppose I should have said something, but I got sidetracked."
"It's okay, Lee. You're entitled to have a private conversation with him. You are his stepfather, after all." When he didn't seem inclined to answer, I tried again. "So, do you want to come to the game or not?"
"I can't."
I couldn't help but be aggravated. "Can't or won't?" I demanded, acid creeping into my tone as I wondered for a moment which husband I was talking to. His words sounded remarkably like Joe's so many years before.
Lee did nothing to dispel that feeling as he let out a long, exasperated breath. "I have a mountain of work to clear up," he went on to explain half-heartedly, his nose still buried in the thick file.
I leaned over, trying to steal an inconspicuous glance. A-R-B-A-A-L-K. Reading upside down, the letters looked like gibberish.
A shadow of annoyance crossed Lee's face as he snapped the cover firmly in place. "Did you want something else?"
Calling on my last measure of self-control, I fought the urge to snap back at him. Trading barbs might make me feel better, but it wouldn't get to the bottom of Lee's increasingly bizarre behavior. I fell back on a technique that had always worked on Joe when things were strained between us. Of course, I didn't have a sexy nightgown at my disposal at the moment, but there were other ways.
Letting out a plaintive sigh, I leaned closer, letting him catch a whiff of that perfume he loved. "The fellas are going to be with their dad tomorrow night," I whispered, letting my lips curve into an inviting smile as I trailed my fingers down his arm. "And mother's going up to New York with her friend, Millie, to see a Broadway show."
"I'm sure she'll enjoy that."
"Yeah, she will." I rolled my eyes at such thick-headedness. "But I think you're missing my point."
His body seemed to tense. "No, I'm not."
"Then why—"
"If tonight's meeting goes as planned, I won't be free tomorrow."
"What meeting?"
Lee cleared his throat and avoided my eye. "I have to meet one of my contacts."
"Alone?" A wave of apprehension spread through me. I didn't know why, exactly—Lee often met with his family of informants without backup. But there was something behind the cold, curt words that sent a chill down my spine. Or maybe it was a premonition of sorts. While I'd grown accustomed to Lee shutting me out professionally these days, he was now doing it personally as well. The feeling made me unaccountably jumpy.
"Anyway," he continued in a dull monotone, "I'll need the weekend to follow up on some leads."
"The entire weekend?"
"Yes, Amanda," he replied in that pedantic tone that always drove me crazy. "The entire weekend."
I sucked in a small breath as I finally managed to engage his eye. "That sounds a little extreme to me."
Lee glared back at me with a vague look of disapproval. "Well, I suppose I could go down to level three and take a polygraph if that would make you feel better."
I gave him a pointed look of my own. "Do remarks like that make you feel better?"
"Not particularly." All but jumping out of his chair, he began to pace a restless circuit around the room. "Maybe if you could take a hint and give me some space, I might not be forced to say them," I heard him mumble.
My eyes widened. A couple of months ago he was complaining that we never spent any time together and now he wanted "space?" This just didn't make any sense. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were deliberately trying to hurt me," I said, speaking my thoughts aloud.
Lee's reply was quick and hard. "I'm not trying to do anything, Amanda, except my job. Is that so difficult to understand?"
"Yes, it is!" I crossed the room and took him by the arms, forcing him to face me. "We need to spend some time together, Lee. I feel like you're slipping away from me a little more every day. And I don't know how to stop it."
"A-man-da." He let out a long breath. "Don't you think you're being a tad overdramatic? I've been busy, that's all."
"Too busy to make love to your wife?" I raised my eyebrows. "That doesn't sound like the guy with the healthy sex drive you always used to kid me about."
"Yeah, well, a healthy sex drive goes both ways, you know."
I took a small step back and folded my arms protectively across my chest, my fingers rubbing the long surgical scar hidden beneath my blouse. "I know things were a little . . . difficult . . . after the accident," I began. "I didn't always feel very . . . well, sexy. I thought you understood."
His eyes looked sad, as if he wanted to spare me, but couldn't. "I did . . . I do. It's just that . . ."
"Just what?" It was unlike Lee to be deliberately cruel, and I felt attacked on a most personal level.
"Nothing. Forget it."
A knot formed in my stomach. "Is there something the matter with . . . well, I mean, is there something I'm doing or not doing that . . ." I felt my cheeks flush, and I just couldn't go on.
Lee shifted his feet, obviously as uncomfortable as I was, and for a moment I thought I saw a flash of pain cross his face. "I don't think the office is the place to have this particular conversation," he said after a few moments of awkward silence between us.
I turned away. I didn't know what I'd expected him to say, but it certainly wasn't that. No, that wasn't true. He knew my insecurities as intimately as I knew his. I'd expected him to reassure me, not all but declare that our sex life was a huge disappointment.
"Okay," I said at last, more shaken than I cared to admit. "Then maybe we should take this someplace a little more private."
The ringing telephone cut off his reply. "Stetson," he barked. "Oh, yeah, hi, Gloria. No, you aren't interrupting anything. I've been expecting your call. Yeah, that'll be fine." Replacing the receiver on its cradle, Lee blew out a harsh breath and turned to me. "It looks like my meeting is on for later, so . . ."
I stared at him accusingly. "So?"
"So nothing." He picked up the file he'd been poring over all afternoon and trudged into the vault. Opening the camouflaged wall safe, the one I didn't know the combination to, he tucked the papers inside. "If you're going to make that ballgame of Phillip's, you'd better head out of here," he said as he reset the lock.
Maybe I should at that. I'd certainly had more than enough of Lee Stetson for the moment. Mechanically, I retrieved my purse from the bottom drawer of my desk. I waited for a few moments, but when Lee didn't emerge from the vault, I left the Q-Bureau without another word.