I walked back into the dinning room ahead of the other two. Dawn was just
setting an extra place for Xander. As I sat down, I could feel Spike's eyes
burning into me. I looked up at him and was almost stunned by the fierce joy
I saw there. Then I got it. He'd heard every word. I flashed him a wicked
grin.
It was an interesting dinner to say the least. How Xander managed not
choking to death, I'll never know. Every time he glanced at Spike, he looked
like he was chewing broken glass or something. I suppose Dawn just chalked
it up to the normal animosity he had toward the blonde vampire because it
didn't seem to faze her at all.
I kept the conversation flowing smoothly for most of the meal, asking Dawn
about her day at school, her chemistry test, the new cute boy in English
class, and even the band that was playing that I wasn't letting her go see.
Everything was going fine until she asked about what Spike and I had been
doing earlier.
"Just some budgeting," I replied easily. Should have known that was the
wrong thing to say. Xander just about had an apoplectic fit right there are
then. Willow looked more than a little concerned as well. And their
reactions were making Dawn uncomfortable.
"Hey, Dawn," I spoke up, with a sideways glance at Xander that told him to
shut up. "How about going down to the corner market and getting a tub of
that Chocolate fudge chunk ice cream for desert?"
"But we have some in the freezer," Willow interjected.
"Not anymore," I remarked dryly.
Dawn was a little indignant. "Spike ate all the ice cream?"
"No," I explained, "That was me."
All three of them gaped. Xander was the one to respond. "Miss Fat-free,
calorie reduced, Sweet N' Low only finished off the fudge chunk ice cream?"
Dawn shook her head. "I'm going with my original theory. She's gotta be a
pod person. Buffy would not eat that. She's been doing this insane diet
thing for weeks now."
I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Is that a no?"
Dawn shook her head. "Can we get Tin Roof Sundae instead?"
"Whatever you want."
She ran to get her shoes on and I turned to Spike. "So. You got any cash?"
He quirked an eyebrow at me. "Yeah. Why?"
I smirked at him. "Cuz you're buying desert."
He gave a startled laugh that melted into a good-natured chuckle and dug his
wallet out. He held out a twenty. I reached to take it and he caught my
fingers for a moment. "Tell the bit to keep the change," he said quietly,
then released my hand. "She can buy herself a little something."
I got all misty and had to blink a few times to keep the trickle back. Dawn
poked her head in the room. "Money please."
I hopped up and pressed the $20 into her hand. "Spike says keep the change."
Damn. Her smile ought to come with a warning and flash goggles cuz it's so
damn bright.
"Thanks, Spike!" She stood rooted to the spot for a split second, then
darted over to him and gave him a quick hug before shooting out the door. It
didn't surprise me at all, but it was a hard bet to figure out which of the
three of them was most shocked.
I smiled serenely as I watched them all grappling with the events of the
evening. Again, Xander was the first to speak.
"So, Buffy," he managed to squeak out in a somewhat higher than normal
voice. "Would you mind explaining to me what the hell is going on before my
head explodes? Please?"
I giggled and then dropped the bomb.
He held up fairly well, actually. Probably because reality was better thanwhat I had led him to believe was going on with my facetious comments. I was
feeling surprisingly little guilt over that bit of nastiness. Could be
because my inner vengeance demon truly believed that he deserved every
painful second of it. And then some. If I kept this up, D'Hoffryn was going
to come pay me a visit.
"And, may I just say, living on the Hellmouth has just moved up a notch on
weirdness scale, and that's not something that I thought would possible at
this late date."
"Yeah, well, I don't live on a Hellmouth. I live in a nice safe universe
with no vampires, no werewolves, no demons and no mystical portals
underneath high schools. I want to go home. So I say we hunt down Warren and
beat the shit out of him until he 'fesses up. Then we beat him up some more.
Then we make him undo whatever the hell he did. And after I'm gone and
Buffy's back, I say you shit kick him a little longer to make sure it never
happens again. And if something happens to get broken in the process - oh,
say, like maybe his spine, then you know that at least there's one less
evil dude out there wreaking havoc in Sunnyhell."
Willow and Xander gawked at me. It was one thing to understand,
intellectually, that I was not who I appeared to be. It was quite another to
hear such vitriol coming out of the mouth of the person their eyes told them
was their longtime friend.
"You're quite the bloodthirsty little thing, aren't you?" Spike commented
with a grin. "I knew there was a reason I liked you."
I waggled my eyebrows. "Wanna go kill stuff later?"
"Whoa, hold on! You're not going slaying!" Xander was shaking his head,
looking at me like I was crazy. "Buffy's trained to do that. You're just
some housewife who watches some actors pretend to slay vampires on TV. You
go out there and you're going to get our friend killed!" He was yelling by
the end of his tirade.
Well, I had been joking. I don't have a death wish. And he was right about
the training. Buffy had been training and slaying for 6 years. I killed a
vampire the night before mostly by luck. But that housewife comment... oh,
Xander, you shouldn't have gone there. I smiled sweetly at him.
"Look, whelp," I began, stealing Spike's descriptor - and I could tell it
stung. "I'm not an idiot and I happen to like life, so I don't plan on
letting mine end anytime soon. I also know that Dawn needs Buffy, and I'm
not about to deprive the poor girl of the only family she has that gives a
shit about her. But you better get one thing through your head right
fucking now. I think you're a jerk. You sit on your high horse and dictate
to everyone from some imaginary moral high ground upon which you alone seem
to stand. Get over yourself. I'm old enough to be you mother, and you are
not going to lecture me about what I may and may not do."
Xander looked about ready to spit bullets. He abruptly pushed away from the
table and stormed out of the room without a backward glance.
"Xander, wait!" Willow pleaded, but he didn't stop. She turned to glare at
me. "You're such a bitch!"
"Ain't the first time I've heard that today," I retorted.
She went running after him just as Dawn came back with the ice cream. The
teen gave me a questioning look.
"Where'd they go?"
"Xander got some truth on him. He didn't like it, so he left. I think Willow
is going to help him forget."
Spike snickered and Dawn screwed up her face at me. "Buffy, you're weird."
"You know it, kid," I remarked as she went to get bowls.
Spike waited till she was in the kitchen, then gave me a questioning look.
"Mind telling me what that was all about?" he asked mildly."What?"
"I understand why you popped off at the whelp for telling you what to do -
bloody wanker's getting to big for his britches. It was lovely to watch
someone put him in his place like that. Long overdue. But what was all that
rot about him on his high horse, higher moral ground and what not?" He
waited expectantly.
"Let's just say I have issues with his character."
He snorted. "That's a bloody understatement if I've ever heard one."
It was dark out by the time Willow came back. She didn't say a word to me,just went up to her room. Spike was chomping at the bit to leave.
"Just hold on a minute," I demanded, then went upstairs to knock on Willow's
door.
"What?" came the muffled reply.
I took a chance and went in. "Are you going out tonight?"
"No." She wasn't even willing to look at me. Hmm. She was really pissed.
"Look, I'm sorry," I lied. "I just don't like people telling me what to do."
She finally turned to face me. "He's just worried. I am too. We want Buffy
back safe. Not that we don't want you to get home safe too, of course we do,
but we don't want Buffy to get hurt."
"Yeah, I know," I agreed placatingly. "I just need to get out of here for a
little while."
"Sunnydale is not a really safe place to just go wandering around in after
dark, you know that."
"I'll be with Spike. He'll keep me safe."
The expression on her face let me know the thought of me alone with Spike
equaled anything but safe in her books. Sigh.
"We're just going to poke around a little, see if we can figure out where
Warren and the loser brigade are holed up. Strictly recon. And I need a
mochachino so bad I'm going to have DT's if I don't get one."
She snickered at that. "Well, that's one addiction that you and Buffy
share." Her face got all sad again. "Please be safe. Don't do anything that
would hurt Buffy."
I knew she meant more than getting beaten up by a bad guy.
"Willow, I realize you probably don't believe this, but Spike wouldn't let
anything happen that might hurt Buffy." She gave me a look of disbelief, and
I shook my head, disgusted by their lack of trust in him after all he'd
done. "Willow? If he wanted to be doing the wild thing, we'd have been doing
the wild thing. We polished off one hell of a lot of alcohol last night. I
was the one who kissed him. He was the one who pushed me away." Her eyes
widened in shocked surprise. "Yeah. Him. And then he fell asleep crying in
my shoulder because he missed her. Does that sound like the evil beast who
is out to take shameless advantage of your Buffster?" Pulling the door
closed behind me, I left Willow alone with her thoughts.
I popped into Buffy's room and grabbed a few stakes out of the beautiful
weapons chest Xander had made for her. I slipped some holy water in my
pocket as an afterthought, then headed down stairs. Spike was waiting for me
at the front door, looking like he was about ready to jump out of his skin.
"You're a real prick sometimes, you know that don't you?" I asked him as I
slipped my shoes on. He just made a face at me. I popped my head into the
front room where Dawn was glued to some inane program. Oh. It was Friends.
Ick.
"Hey." She glanced over as I continued. "I'm going on patrol."
She nodded and went back to her show. "Okay, see you later."
" Now can we go?" Spike was starting to sound desperate.
"Don't get your knickers in a knot," I threw back at him as I pulled the
door open. He shot past me like a bat out of hell. "God, you can be such a
whiner."
"Bitch," he grumbled as he pulled out his cigarettes and lit one up.
I laughed. "You say that like it's a bad thing," I shot back. He slipped the
package and his lighter into the outer pocket of his duster and I nicked
them out in a flash.
"Oi! I think we already had this conversation," he snapped at me, grabbing
at the purloined smokes. I batted his hand away.
"Piss off, Blondie. Either let me have one right now, or I'll go buy a pack
of my own and smoke the whole fucking thing when you're not around to stop
me."
He called me a few other names as I lit one up.
"Ooooh, that's original," I replied sarcastically as I blew smoke at him. "I
think you hurt a feeling." I burped. "Oh, sorry, it was just gas."
He regarded me strangely. "You're one seriously bent chit."
"Yup."
The first place we went was Willie's. Spike needed to eat. He ordered a pintand we sat down at a table near the back. He studied me a moment.
"Are you squeamish?"
"What, about blood?" I asked.
"About me drinkin' it in front of you."
Somebody tell me why and evil, nasty, soulless blah, blah, blah, vampire
would give a rat's ass about whether I was squeamish or not. I started to
get warm fuzzies. Then he wrecked it.
"I don't want you puking all over the place. I'd like to enjoy my dinner."
"Your concern for my comfort is underwhelming, Blondie. Drink up. I've had
children. Nothing fazes me."
He drank. It was fascinating in a gruesome sort of way. Knowing that he was
drinking formerly live, warm, pumping-through-a-body blood.
"What kind is it?"
"What?"
"What kind? Pig? Cow? Human?"
He stared at me. "Do you honestly want to know?"
Gulp Nothatsokayreally. "Forget I asked."
He smirked. "It's not human, relax."
We stayed maybe 15 minutes. Spike got a few pints to go. I saw the packages
as Willie slipped them into a paper bag. The sure looked like the kind from
the hospital. Spike stuffed the bag into his duster and we headed out the
door, but he caught my surreptitious glances.
"Yeah, these ones are."
"TMI, Spike, TMI."
The majority of the evening was spent pretty much doing what I'd told Willow
we were going to do. He took me back to where he'd found me. I was shocked
when I realized how far he'd carried me the previous night. We worked back
from there, trying to retrace my steps. It was maddening though. I'd been so
out of it, I was having trouble remembering any landmarks. But I did
remember one thing.
"Spike, they have surveillance. They've got camera feeds set up all the way
around, on every access point into their lame-assed hideout. That's how they
were able to sic that nasty demon on Buffy. The one you and Xander were
hunting."
"Those wankers did that? Bloody pillocks! I'm going to rip out their spleens
and have 'em for breakfast, chip be damned!"
"Hey, I'm all for that, but can it wait till after we get them to put me
back?"
"Right. So we look for cameras then."
"I don't know how easy they'll be to spot. I don't imagine they have them
out in plain sight. I bet this is something Willow could help with. They're
total tech heads, she could probably figure out a way to tap into their
video feed or something. Then maybe we could trace it to the source. We'd
have to have something mobile, though, so we could move and track - hey! I'm
sure they wouldn't know your car!"
I shut up as I saw Spike looking up into the darkness. I tried to follow his
gaze, but I couldn't see anything.
"Give."
He looked down at me with a very self-satisfied grin. "Vampire vision."
"Yeah, I know, what did you see?"
"A glint of light. Reflected off the lens of an otherwise very well hidden
camera. You never would have spotted it, Sla-"
And like that, the pain lashed across his face. He had it back under control
in a second. "Sorry. Dee. You never would have spotted it."
I had to turn away from him. I was pissed off. I was jealous. I was hurt.
He reached out, placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry."
I shrugged it off. "Whatever. Let's go."
"Fine." I could hear the coldness in his voice, and I whipped around to
glare at him.
"You're pissed off at me?"
"I..." his face was a parody of contortions. He finally snarled in disgust.
"Fuck. What the hell do you want from me?""I want you to see me, not her." Big sigh. "But that's kind of unrealistic
when I'm sittin' in her body, isn't it?" I laughed cynically. "Talk about
your warped love triangle."
He froze. I was totally oblivious, completely self absorbed in my whining.
Suddenly there was a cold hand wrapped around my throat, pinning me against
the wall of someone's garage. I found myself staring into yellow-rimmed blue
eyes, and a beautiful face that was morphing even as I watched. I had front
row seats to a game face, and I wasn't enjoying it.
"Love triangle? You dare equate a silly, infantile crush you have on some
poncy actor to what I feel for Buffy? You have no idea what you're talking
about. You have no right to talk about it."
In case you weren't already aware of this, just FYI; pissing off a vampire?
Not good for your health. I'm sure the only reason he didn't smack me around
at that point was because it was Buffy's body he'd be hurting, not mine. He
finally let me go, then stalked away, duster billowing majestically out
behind him.
I slid bonelessly to the ground and waited till the shakes subsided. Oh
yeah, Willow, I'll be safe with Spike. Uh-huh. Really. Until I say something
stupid and make him want to rip my throat out that is. I heard a funny
noise, then realized it was me. Whimpering. Gah, I'm such a wuss!
Okay, sitting in a back alley, in the dark, all alone, in Sunnydale. Not a
wise choice. Time to get home. At least this time I knew my way. I was
almost halfway there before I got that funny clenching feeling in my gut
again. Damn. Now I realized what it was. Vamp sign. Kinda like worm sign?
Never mind. Go read Dune. It'll make sense.
I started running. Maybe I could get away. I got another block when another
big ugly came out of nowhere. Oh, this was not looking good. A glance to the
rear confirmed that my original tail was still on me. Goody for me.
Now, Buffy - she always beats the crap out of them, then stakes them. I've
never understood why she doesn't just shove a piece of wood though their
undead hearts as soon as the opportunity presents itself. Is it a
professional courtesy, letting them think they might have a chance? Maybe a
little pride - I can so kick their asses. I don't know. All I do know
is, when something that wants to eat me gets close enough to do so, it's
going to get a bad case of heart splinters ASAP.
The one in front lunged while tail-boy was still a half block away. I just
held the stake in front of me at what I hoped was heart level, and let him
impale himself. Squishy. And not quite on target. I think that pissed him
off. By the time I actually dusted the first one, number two had caught up,
and I was almost hyperventilating from fear. I back peddled away, grabbed
the holy water and popped the lid. He came at me and I let him have it full
in the face. He was pretty much gargling with it by the time I was done.
Poor bastard, I almost felt sorry for him. And you don't get this part on
TV - it smells just like burning hair when holy water hits them. I watched
his flesh bubbling away, frozen in horror.
"Well, finish him off already!"
I whirled to see Spike lounging against a fencepost a few feet away. When I
didn't rush in to make the kill, he strode forward, grabbed the stake out of
my hand and plunged it into the poor sot. He was back, handing me the stake,
when the guy dusted. I stared at it for a moment before looking up into his
face. He returned my gaze impassively. That's when I lost it.
"You fucking sonofabitch!!" I screamed as I smashed both fists into his
chest as hard as I could. I sent him flying across the alley to smash into
the back of a building. He recovered quickly and dropped into a fighting
stance. I was seeing red. Hazy red. Going-to-rip-you-to-pieces red. "You
left me alone!" Snap kick to the knee. Grazed him, but it hurt. "I could
have been killed!" Roundhouse. He ducked, nailed me with an uppercut that
sent me sprawling.
"I was watching you," he spit out. "I wouldn't have abandoned you out here,
even though you were acting like a spoilt child."
I got to my feet. "I really want to kick the shit of you."
"Well, come on then, let's have a go," He taunted.
I turned away and started trudging towards what was home in this reality.
"Where you going? You're not giving up are you? Come on, kick my arse!"
I shook my head. "Spike, I'm not her."
The only sound was my footsteps as I walked away.