Dawn walked into the kitchen just as I was buttering hot waffles. I'd set out a glass of juice and a bowl with orange quarters. She sat down at the island as I plated the waffles and plopped them in front of her.

"Wow. You made a meal. For breakfast." She peered up at me suspiciously.

"What do you want?"

I grinned. "For you to eat and get out of my hair. I have things to do." She wolfed it down, for once displaying the standard bottomless pit stomach most teenagers had. It made me smile. I tried not to think about my kids having breakfast where they were. Teared up anyway. I busied myself with cleaning up orange peels and wiping the counter while I blinked back the moisture.

"Thanks, Buffy."

"No problem."

She was just about out the door, but stopped for a second. "Kira wants me to go to the mall with her after school. I thought I'd just go back to her place after that. And since it's a Friday night..." she let the unspoken question hang in the air.

"Yes, you can go to the Bronze, as long as her mother is picking you two up after."

She pushed a little more. "And overnight?"

"That's actually a good idea," I agreed. "It's probably going to be a busy Slayage night. If it's okay with her mom, call, and leave a message if I'm not here."

"Cool!" She took off before I could change my mind.

After everything was tidied, I sat down and tried to figure out my plan for the day. If I was going home tonight - thinking positive thoughts here – I needed to put the fiscal plan Spike and I had come up with in place today, before Buffy came back. That meant heading out to the Crypt. Which I had no idea the location of.

First things first. I called the DMP and booked the day off sick. Then I headed upstairs and peaked into Willow's room. Her laptop sat on the dresser. I took it downstairs and set it up on the dinning room table. Took me a few minutes to figure some of the commands, being a Mac and all - I'm so jealous. Then I accessed her ISP and set to getting a map of Sunnyhell. 15 minutes later, I had directions to all the cemeteries in town.

I found the crypt in the fourth cemetery I tried. I walked up to the door, and then hesitated. Should I knock or just walk in? Spike decided for me.

"You gonna stand out there all day?" came the brusque voice from the interior. With a grin, I pushed it open. I took a few steps in, then stopped in shock. The place was still a wreck. Buffy and Riley had well and truly trashed his home.

"You seriously need to redecorate," I commented drolly as I continued toward him. The stone sarcophagus was still in one piece, but rubble littered the floor, and there was a gapping hole in place of what had once been the trap door. He slouched in his worse for wear chair watching the television that had miraculously escaped unscathed. Reception sucked though.

"I dunno," he responded. "The utter destruction theme seems appropriate somehow."

"It's certainly... unique," I allowed.

He waited a moment for me to continue. When I didn't, he did. "What you doin' here, Dee?"

I put on my best chipper smile. "I've come to suck you dry."

The shocked look on his face puzzled me. Until my gutter self figured out the inadvertent double entendre. I felt my cheeks flush with embarrassment.

"Money!" I shouted. "I've come for your money!"

He nodded slowly, a slow smile appearing as he enjoyed my discomfiture. "You're one of them birds who goes straight for a bloke's pocketbook, are you? The ink's hardly dry on our little budget, pet. You don't have to rush off and do everything today."

"Actually, Spike, I do." I looked down for a moment, then back at him.

"We're going after them tonight. Willow thinks she can hack through their encryption. Last night she and Angel-"

His chin jerked up. "Angel?" He growled. "Angel came over there last night?"

I rolled my eyes. "He followed us. To make sure I wasn't under your evil thrall, I suppose. He came in and I explained. Then they sat around and hashed it out after I went to bed. The point is, whatever we're doing - we're doing it tonight. And since I'm going home, it has to be today. I at least need to pay off the loans. She can't un-pay them. But if I get on the ball, I can go pay the phone and the electric and still have time to do a major grocery shop." I gave him devilish grin. "And honey, I just have to tell you, I love spending money - but I love spending other people's money even more!" I struck a saucy pose, a hand on one hip, the other outstretched. "Fork it over, babe."

A genuinely warm laugh came bubbling from Spike's lips. It's wonderful, his laugh - it feels like summer at the fair, water fights in the pool - childhood memories that bring you peaceful joy. I could get lost in that laugh. He rose from his chair and sauntered across the room to pry a loose stone out of the wall. After a little wiggling, it popped free, and he pulled a small metal box out. He opened it and retrieved a thick wad of bills, then handed them to me.

"Thank you," he said quietly as I put the cash in my purse.

"Thank me? I think it's the other way around, Spike."

"No," he disagreed. "This way I get to help her - and Niblet too. S'all I ever wanted to do, help her I mean. She'll never let me. She's going to be furious when she comes back, but at least she won't lose her home. At least she can start from zero instead of from negative twenty grand. You didn't have to do any of this, but you did. Thanks for taking care of her, even when she won't take care of herself, and for watching after the sweet bit. Means a lot to me."

If I didn't before, I now officially hated Buffy. And Xander. And anyone else who couldn't, wouldn't see the man in Spike. And I wanted to give him a huge hug and tell him how wonderful he was. Instead, I got all weepy and sniffled. Oooh, that's attractive.

"So. I guess this is it," I managed, dropping my eyes from his. "I mean, going home soon, going to kick Warren's ass tonight, so we probably won't have another moment alone from this point on." I was very aware of him standing so close, the skintight black tee highlighting every well-sculpted inch of his torso. "So, uh, I guess I should, you know, say, uh, good-bye. Now. So I don't forget." Gee, think I could stammer any more during that sentence? Yeesh. Time to bail before I made a fool of myself and had him firmly yet gently evict me while reminding me that it was Buffy he was in love with. I took a step back from him, and then turned to leave. His hand on my shoulder stopped me.

"You think you're just walkin' out of here like that? Gimmie your money, have a nice unlife, g'bye?"

I turned back in surprise. "Uhhhh," I replied intelligently. He chuckled. Pressed in a little closer. Err, no, make that a lot closer. No, make that closed in on me till I backed into the wall and had nowhere else to go.

"Yeahthatwasprettymuchtheidea..." I squeaked out. I talk fast when I'm nervous - that sentence must have come out at warp 6.

He put one hand on the wall beside my head, used the other to lightly drag a finger down the side of my cheek. "I thought," he whispered huskily, "that I was worth a fonder farewell than that."

Whimper. "Spike." My voice shook.

The cool digit continued on, leaving a slow burn in its wake as it traced the line of my jaw, then skittered down my throat. My heart hammered in my chest, and I suddenly couldn't get enough air.

"Last night, you told me you wanted me to see you," he went on, leaning in close as his finger trailed down my chest, between my breasts, lips almost touching my ear. "When I concentrate, I do. You don't talk like her, or walk like her, or laugh like her. You don't scrunch up your face when you're frustrated like she does." His finger finally arrived at my abdomen, tracing delicate patterns as I shivered. "Your essence makes it very plain that you are you, Dee, not her. And I think I've managed to grow rather fond of who Dee is in the last 2 days. I'd hate to have her leave without a proper send off."

"Wha-what did you h-have in m-mind?" Coherent thought was a distant memory. The feather light caress was all I could focus on.

"Something a little more memorable," he replied with a smile. Then arms were sliding around me and his mouth was on mine, teasing, nipping, and playing. His tongue lightly swept over my teeth, coaxing mine to join it in a sensual dance. His hands explored, igniting suppressed passions, and suddenly I didn't give a rat's ass if it was me, Buffy or some strange amalgam of both of us that he saw. This was the embodiment of a fantasy, in full living color, with surround sound and complete tactile sensation - and I was pretty much head over heels. I slid one hand up his back underneath his tee shirt, the other curling into the hair at the nape of his neck, and returned the kiss with fervor. I wanted to make a memory that would last me forever.

Funny thing about that sarcophagus, it's a lot more comfortable that it looks. I never would have thought that of cold stone. Then again, having an attentive and thorough Spike beside you on said sarcophagus does tend to distract one from any but the most mind-blowing sensations. We passed several creative hours there, each more imaginative than the one before, before finally succumbing to exhaustion.

He looked so peaceful when he slept. None of the walls were up, the sarcastic 'I-don't-need-anyone' barriers that he used to protect himself most of his waking hours, and he almost looked innocent. He resisted as slipped free of his embrace, murmuring complaints in his sleep. I was pulling on my top when I heard it - the word that made my crazy little world turn on its ear, made my stomach drop to my knees.

"Dee..."

So quietly, just a sigh really, but he said it. My name. Not hers. Mine. Oh, God.

I shimmied into my pants, tracked down my shoes, and then turned to look at him once more. Still sleeping. I wasn't sure if I preferred leaving like this, or waking him to say good-bye, so I took the coward's way out and let him sleep.

"Good bye, Spike," I whispered. "I'm going to miss you."

I had flutters in my stomach as I made a light dinner for Willow, Tara, and myself. I tried to keep myself occupied, not dwell on the upcoming events. I spent a good hour organizing the pantry, the freezer and the fridge, now full to bursting with many groceries. I'd gone through Buffy's box-o'-bills and scrawled PAID in big red letters across just about all of them. Then I dusted, vacuumed, did laundry - the stuff I do every day. The stuff I always complained about. The mundane. I never appreciated mundane so much in my life.

The two women came down the stairs as I was stirring the risotto.

"Mmmm, that smells so good!" Tara said appreciatively. Willow nodded her agreement.

"That's because I am the kitchen goddess, and I rock!" and quipped. I grabbed them some bowls and dished them up. We sat down in companionable silence, enjoying the food. Willow finally broke the quiet.

"Not much longer now,"

"Yup," I agreed.

There wasn't much to say. We were all pretty preoccupied with our own thoughts. As the evening grew later, we prepared for the conflict to come. I changed into some of Buffy's best 'Break and Enter' clothes. Willow got her computer, scanner and decryption software and started doing her technical magic. Tara was working up some protective spells so we didn't get whammied by any magical defenses while we were trying to smoke Warren out of his lair.

There was a knock at the door. I opened it to find Xander standing there, angry, defiant, hurt - but there. I gave him a smile, which surprised him, and a hug, which shocked the hell out of him.

"C'mon," I gestured for him to follow me to the dinning room, where Tara and Will were preparing. "Join me in being completely useless."

Xander laughed, and just like that, all the tension was broken and everything was as it should be between Xander, Willow and Buffy – even though it was just me along for the ride.

A few minutes after sunset, Angel and Spike arrived. I'd been watching for them, and greeted them as soon as they walked up. And promptly discovered that the much vaunted vampiric sense of smell was everything it was made out to be. Angel took one look at me and sniffed sharply, then whipped his head around to give Spike an icy stare. And took an unconscious step towards his childe. Oh, hell.

"Don't start something, Peaches," Spike advised Angel frostily.

"Don't need to," the angry brunette vampire shot back. "You already did. I'm just going to finish it."

"Hello, important stuff to do here, Kimosabes," I interrupted with a glare of my own for each of them. "Get your asses in here and leave you baggage at the door."

Angel's face was a mask, but his eyes couldn't hide his anger as he pushed past me and into the other room. I sighed. Spike took my hand, gave me a concerned look. "How you holdin' up, luv?"

"Oh, fine," I replied breezily.

He cocked an eyebrow. "Yeh, and I'm little red ridin' hood. Don't let the grand poof get to you."

I nodded, then turned to go back in. Spike had other ideas. He pulled me close to him and shut the door. "You left without saying good-bye," he admonished.

"You were tired, I didn't want to wake you."

I got the dead-sexy smirk. "I'll forgive you this time."

"Thank you ever so much, oh grand poo-bah."

He leaned in and gave me a gentle, but searing kiss before releasing me. "Well, I guess we should get to it."

I nodded. "Yup. It's showtime."

The plan was to circle the area a few times and let Willow do her thing. We all piled into Angel's car, it being the logical choice as the Legion of Dim wouldn't have seen it around town. It didn't take long for out resident hacker to reduce Warren's sophisticated early warning system to a useless collection of looped video clips.

They didn't see us until we were almost on top of them. A back up camera, independent of the main network, gave them the heads up only moments before we rushed them. Unfortunately, it was all the warning they needed, and we had a fight on our hands.

There were a few magical surprises, but Tara's spells had us covered. Spike and Angel dispatched more than a few hastily conjured demon types, while Xander and I went after the human ones baddies. In all the craziness that ensued, Warren managed to make his exist - leaving Andrew and Jonathan holding the bag.

Xander glowered menacingly at Andrew while Willow questioned Jonathan. It was very deja-vu to watch, which was kind of amusing. After a few minutes, she'd pumped the whole story from him. She didn't look very pleased. "So what you're saying," she reiterated slowly, "is that Warren created a quantum flux that opened a dimensional nexus, and then you cast a spell on Buffy to send her through it and make sure she couldn't get back?" The red-head's voice shook with suppressed rage. Jonathan didn't know how very lucky he was that she wasn't doing magic anymore. Or perhaps, judging by the blanched look on his face, he did.

"Y-y-yes," he managed to stammer.

"Where's the spell?" she demanded.

The terrified young man pointed to a book on a shelf across the room. Willow motioned to Tara, who went and retrieved it. She brought it over and he pointed out which spell he'd used. The young wiccan took the book to a desk, sat down with it, and set to the task of coming up with a way to reverse it.

Willow started going through Warren's computer files looking for information on the dimensional nexus and how to open it. I just sank into a chair and crossed my arms, hope filling me. We were so close. Then I noticed Jonathan watching me.

"Hey, by the way," I told him. "Thanks for letting me out of here the other night."

Andrew glared at him. "You wimp! Warren was right! You're a soft wuss boy! It's your fault this is happening!" he raged at his fellow crime lord.

"Shut yer gob," intoned Spike in a voice that brooked no argument. The angry geek quieted down.

Jonathan looked at the floor, then slowly brought his eyes up to mine. There was a lot going on in that boy's head. "I never wanted to hurt anyone, Buffy. Maybe drive you to distraction so you would leave us alone, but not hurt you. Not kill you. You helped me." His voice was quiet, pensive. "I'm glad the spell didn't work."

I let out a short bark of ironic laughter. "Uh, Jonathan? Just FYI. It did."

He looked at me, confused. "Huh?"

Tara spoke up. Her voice sounded strained. "Jonathan, is this exactly how you did it? With these changes?" She brought the book back over to him, and indicated some words that were scrawled in the margin.

"Yeah... amitto foemina contego sua animus custos sua corpus donec sua revenio locus... that's it."

Willow gasped as he read the words. She jumped up from the computer and joined Tara in going over the spell. From his place on the other side of the room, Angel's face took on a very grim look.

Jonathan looked around the room, taking in the strong reactions. His gaze shifted back to me. "I don't understand. You're still here. What do you mean it worked?"

Willow read the translation, her face very pale. "Send away the woman, protect her spirit guard her body until she returns to her place... oh, goddess, Jonathan, what where you thinking? Don't you realize what you've done by adding those words?"

"I .. I was only trying to keep her safe!" he argued. "Don't you get it? Warren didn't really care where we sent her! He would have just as soon killed her - I had to convince him that it would be better to send her away. And since he never really pays attention to my spells, I just slipped in the protection phrase. I had no idea where she was going to end up, and like I said - I didn't want to hurt her." His expression became one of intense frustration. "But I still don't understand what you're so upset about. She's right here! Why all the fuss about a spell that didn't even work? And let me tell you, Warren was some pissed about that."

Tara stood shook her head, face downcast. "You shouldn't ever change a spell unless you really know what you're doing. Latin is a very specific language; that's why it's used for magic so often. The spell did exactly what you asked. But you didn't define the parameters, so the magic decided on the method."

"You... you've lost me." The young man was very puzzled. So was I. But ultimately, I didn't really care why it happened, or how he screwed up. I just wanted it undone.

"The noun custos you used means guardian, or keeper," she explained. "You sent her spirit away, and you called a keeper for her body."

"Oh, god...." Jonathan shot me a quick look. "That wasn't what I meant to do!"

"Obviously."

"But it means that the normal magical methods of finding her won't work," Willow added, her voice quiet. "I can't do a locating spell. There's nothing to fix on."

My head shot up. "What do you mean? She's in my body, isn't she? We just switched places, right?"

Willow's eyes filled up with tears and it suddenly hit me like a freight train. No one had any idea where Buffy had gone. "No," I gasped hoarsely, "There's gotta be a way to find her. There's just gotta!" I jumped up from the chair and grabbed Jonathan by the front of his shirt. "Fix it, god damn you!" I snarled in rage, lifting him into the air and shaking him. "Un-do it! I want my fucking life back!"

Suddenly there were strong, cool hands gliding up mine, forcing me to lower the now sobbing man to the floor. "Let him go, luv, let him go, it's gonna be okay, we'll figure it out." Spike pressed up behind me, whispering a steady stream of calming words into my ear as he gently pried my fingers from the front of Jonathan's shirt. He pulled me into an embrace, and just held me as my body trembled.

It's almost been a year since I woke up in that basement. We're still trying to figure a way to get Buffy home and send me back, but I think privately we've all pretty much admitted it's hopeless. If we could find the right dimension, the chances would be a lot better. Unfortunately that little piece of information vanished with Warren, wherever the hell he is. Tara and Willow still cast about randomly through small portals, looking for Buffy on a regular basis. It's one of the few magical things that Willow does - but only if Tara's with her. They got back together in this universe. I hope Joss is taking notes. I still firmly believe that he's a dimension hopper.

Willow, Spike and I sat down and explained things to Dawn about a week after the raid on the Dungeon of the Dim. She was pretty upset, got all hysterical and did that screamer thing that she does. I don't play that game. I went and told her off and then employed some well cultivated mommy guilt. It shut her up long enough so that we could actually talk. The upshot was that she allowed me to mother her anyway. And I really needed to be able to mother someone, cuz sometimes I missed my babies so bad I thought I was going to die. Still do. And when that happens, I think about Warren and what I'm going to do to him when I catch him. It won't be a pretty sight. I have a feeling it's going to involve a picket fence.

Amazingly enough, me, Xander and Willow, ended up becoming really good friends. Sometimes it's weird because I know so many things that only the three of them knew. It still throws them once in a while. But they get reminded on a regular basis how much I'm not Buffy. I colour my hair the dark chestnut it was in my own world. I wear blue contacts, cuz looking into those hazel/green eyes is still unnerving. But the strongest reminder comes in the form of a very sexy, blonde vampire who seems to think that we're joined at the hip. Not that I mind.

We do Scooby stuff. We fight baddies. Spike helps me train. Have I mentioned that he's very evil and makes me love my WenLiDo instructor? He's a relentless, cruel bastard who never gives me a moment's peace. He's damn lucky I like him, or I'd have to stake his ass to a wall. But the best part is, he never gets confused about who I am. Whether he calls me Dee or Slayer, I know he's talking to me.

Maybe this ain't such a bad holiday after all.