Disclaimer: :8) -- Hey look, it's Dudley! OK, I guess the distraction didn't work. I own Thomas Wood. That's it. Happy now?
James sighed. He was bored. And worse, he had a perfectly good reason to be. There was absolutely NOTHING to do.
None of his friends could do anything. Sirius was being kept prisoner at his cousins' house. Remus was vacationing in Venezuela; why Venezuela, James had no idea. Peter...well, James didn't really know, but he had Flooed and no one was there. Thomas Wood already had someone at his house. James had even tried to call Amos Diggory on the fellietonie thing, but had gotten a message saying that "this number has been extinguished" or something like that.
Then James had tried doing something on his own. Quidditch was rather hard to play with only yourself and a house-elf that you had recruited but who kept falling off the broom. Reading wasn't nearly as much fun when he couldn't look up and say, "Moony, look at this!" or "Hey, Sirius, think we should test this one on Snivellus?" Eating macaroons worked, but James got sick (literally) of that fairly quickly.
And so he....sat. And sighed. And sat some more. And sighed some more. And sat some more. And considered getting out the macaroons again, but decided he didn't wish to repeat that experience. So he sighed some more. And sat some more. And then it came to him....take pictures of the bedspread!
Fourteen minutes and twenty-nine blurry moving pictures of gold shapes on a red background later, he gave up. And so began again the eternal cycle of sitting and sighing. And eventually, so an idea was born: Evans.
Looking back, James couldn't see why he'd never thought of this before. After all, you only had to go to the end of the block the Potter mansion was on, turn right, and walk seventeen more blocks, and you would reach the Evans household, as Petunia called it, otherwise known as Lily's house.
Seventeen and a half blocks is rather a long way... if you're not James. And if the person who you've been obsessed with for about four years doesn't live those seventeen and a half blocks away. And, of course, if you don't have a state-of-the-art broomstick and an Invisibility Cloak. But naturally, James was James, and the person who he'd been obsessed with for about four years did live those seventeen and a half blocks away, and he did have a state-of-the-art broomstick and an Invisibility Cloak. Therefore, it wasn't such a long way to go. And therefore, he went. Besides, he had nothing better to do --- not that visiting Lily wouldn't rank first on his list anyway.
James rang the doorbell. (A/N: I know, really interesting sentence, isn't it? ;-P) It was answered by a tall blond girl with a snooty expression and a giant, overly-sparkly engagement ring.
"Who are you and why are you here?" demanded the girl, who anybody who's capable of reading this story should be able to identify as Petunia.
"Gee, that makes you sound really friendly," James responded sarcastically.
"Really, it does?" asked Petunia breathily.
"A sure sign of intelligence," James muttered. Then he said more clearly, "No. Anyway, please tell Lily that her friend...um...Lettuce Potter is here but that Cheese Black couldn't come.
(A/N: Mua-ha-ha-ha-ha! Since Hannah and I couldn't use it on Jaden (really early in the morning), I might as well use it here! I wonder if James has an Aunt Simon...)
"Okaaaaaay... just a minute," said Petunia "sweetly," muttering under her breath as she turned, "Filthy magical people, using freaky names with my sister..."
In exactly forty-three seconds (as timed by James), Lily was out and fuming.
"Er...hello, Tiger-Evans.
Lily looked scornful and confused.
"No, no, wait! It must have been Tiger-LILY! Yes, that's it... Hello, Tiger-Lily.
Lily took a deep breath. "Okay, number one! DO NOT call me that. Number two! Why did you just call yourself lettuce and your fellow egomaniac Black cheese? And number three! WHAT ARE YOU DOING AT MY HOUSE?! I thought I was SAFE during the holidays!
"Number one, but I like that name. Number two, I have no clue. Number three, I do live approximately seventeen blocks away, you know, and yes you are safe, now that I'M here," replied James, barely blinking. "But on to other matters ---
"No," said Lily flatly.
"No what?" James was confused.
"No, I won't go out with you, and no, I won't go over to your house. Now please leave.
James was in a slight daze. ÔLily just said please to me. That's almost civil. Must be the Potter charm,' he thought. What he actually said was, "Okay, you don't have to date me and you don't have to come to my house. But you never said I couldn't come in." And with that, he stepped in and started dusting his feet on the Evanses' welcome mat, which had a picture of a Pekingese on it.
Now it was Lily's turn to sit and sigh. "Fine, come in. Get plowed down by Petunia's fiancŽ. Have a nice day.
"Oh," James said slyly, "but you're forgetting one thing. I'm a Marauder. Marauders don't get plowed down by Muggles.
Which turned out to be true. James still had his cloak and top-of-the-line Maplespeed 5000: the perfect tools for tricking a Muggle without getting carted away by the Ministry for "improper use of magic.
He crept into the sitting room and stood, invisible, behind the large, purple man that he took to be the infamous Vernon Dursley. Dursley was making small talk with Petunia and her parents and changed the subject quite drastically thanks to a poke from the end of the broomstick.
"Yes, Mr. Evans, I quite enjoy classical ---" Jab. " --- GET YOUR OWN TOOTHPASTE!"
Lily was giggling; James could hear her. He turned around, grinned, and messed up his hair, forgetting that no one could see it anyway. Then he grabbed a startled Lily and snuck up to her room.
"Told you Marauders don't get attacked by obese Muggles.
"Okay, well, fine. But now Petunia's after your blood, so you'd best be off.
James stood hesitantly.
"No, nevermind, stay for a while. Then maybe Petunia will badly injure you and I won't have to deal with you anymore.
"Aww, think about it. Do you REALLY want to sic your sister on me?" said James with his best puppy-dog face.
"Yes," replied Lily, but she was grinning.
ÔMaybe she really does like me,' thought James.
"Don't even think about it, Potter," Lily said quickly. "This is just the effects of living with Petunia: You're glad to see someone who likes you besides your parents.
James crinkled up his eyes and raised one eyebrow. "Are you a Legilimens?
"A Leggy-what?
ÔSuperb,' thought James, ÔSomething I know that Evans doesn't!
"It's, like, somebody who can read minds. Or, access memories. Snivellus is one.
"Oh, great, thanks. Now I'm going to spend my last year at Hogwarts wondering if HE'S reading my thoughts. But, don't worry, I'm not. I mean, I didn't even know what it was until just now.
"Lily, dear, who are you talking to up there?" called Mrs. Evans.
"Oh --- just --- thinking aloud, Mum!
"All right then," said Mrs. Evans, sounding skeptical.
"Talking to your pet lettuce," James grinned. Not his usual about-to-play-a-prank grin, Lily noticed, but more of an actual smile. She returned it.
"NOW will you go out with me, or do you still like the giant squid better?
"I still prefer the squid. But maybe, just maybe, I WILL go over to your house.
A/N: Well, originally I wasn't going to post this, so that's why there's no author's notes or disclaimers or anything on the first chapter. And yes, I KNOW I shouldn't have started another story, but what can I say? I was bored. I had writer's block on most of my other fics. It was summer. So... if you haven't already, please look at my profile and read some of my other fics! If you like the randomness in chappie one or the Maraudery-ness in this one (which I hope I achieved), you'll definitely like some of my other stories. And please review! I beg of you! I'm always deliriously happy when I get an email in case it's a review alert! So bye until next time I'm bored! Have a nice day! :-D (Hey, I just used a lot of exclamation points, how interesting.)
James sighed. He was bored. And worse, he had a perfectly good reason to be. There was absolutely NOTHING to do.
None of his friends could do anything. Sirius was being kept prisoner at his cousins' house. Remus was vacationing in Venezuela; why Venezuela, James had no idea. Peter...well, James didn't really know, but he had Flooed and no one was there. Thomas Wood already had someone at his house. James had even tried to call Amos Diggory on the fellietonie thing, but had gotten a message saying that "this number has been extinguished" or something like that.
Then James had tried doing something on his own. Quidditch was rather hard to play with only yourself and a house-elf that you had recruited but who kept falling off the broom. Reading wasn't nearly as much fun when he couldn't look up and say, "Moony, look at this!" or "Hey, Sirius, think we should test this one on Snivellus?" Eating macaroons worked, but James got sick (literally) of that fairly quickly.
And so he....sat. And sighed. And sat some more. And sighed some more. And sat some more. And considered getting out the macaroons again, but decided he didn't wish to repeat that experience. So he sighed some more. And sat some more. And then it came to him....take pictures of the bedspread!
Fourteen minutes and twenty-nine blurry moving pictures of gold shapes on a red background later, he gave up. And so began again the eternal cycle of sitting and sighing. And eventually, so an idea was born: Evans.
Looking back, James couldn't see why he'd never thought of this before. After all, you only had to go to the end of the block the Potter mansion was on, turn right, and walk seventeen more blocks, and you would reach the Evans household, as Petunia called it, otherwise known as Lily's house.
Seventeen and a half blocks is rather a long way... if you're not James. And if the person who you've been obsessed with for about four years doesn't live those seventeen and a half blocks away. And, of course, if you don't have a state-of-the-art broomstick and an Invisibility Cloak. But naturally, James was James, and the person who he'd been obsessed with for about four years did live those seventeen and a half blocks away, and he did have a state-of-the-art broomstick and an Invisibility Cloak. Therefore, it wasn't such a long way to go. And therefore, he went. Besides, he had nothing better to do --- not that visiting Lily wouldn't rank first on his list anyway.
James rang the doorbell. (A/N: I know, really interesting sentence, isn't it? ;-P) It was answered by a tall blond girl with a snooty expression and a giant, overly-sparkly engagement ring.
"Who are you and why are you here?" demanded the girl, who anybody who's capable of reading this story should be able to identify as Petunia.
"Gee, that makes you sound really friendly," James responded sarcastically.
"Really, it does?" asked Petunia breathily.
"A sure sign of intelligence," James muttered. Then he said more clearly, "No. Anyway, please tell Lily that her friend...um...Lettuce Potter is here but that Cheese Black couldn't come.
(A/N: Mua-ha-ha-ha-ha! Since Hannah and I couldn't use it on Jaden (really early in the morning), I might as well use it here! I wonder if James has an Aunt Simon...)
"Okaaaaaay... just a minute," said Petunia "sweetly," muttering under her breath as she turned, "Filthy magical people, using freaky names with my sister..."
In exactly forty-three seconds (as timed by James), Lily was out and fuming.
"Er...hello, Tiger-Evans.
Lily looked scornful and confused.
"No, no, wait! It must have been Tiger-LILY! Yes, that's it... Hello, Tiger-Lily.
Lily took a deep breath. "Okay, number one! DO NOT call me that. Number two! Why did you just call yourself lettuce and your fellow egomaniac Black cheese? And number three! WHAT ARE YOU DOING AT MY HOUSE?! I thought I was SAFE during the holidays!
"Number one, but I like that name. Number two, I have no clue. Number three, I do live approximately seventeen blocks away, you know, and yes you are safe, now that I'M here," replied James, barely blinking. "But on to other matters ---
"No," said Lily flatly.
"No what?" James was confused.
"No, I won't go out with you, and no, I won't go over to your house. Now please leave.
James was in a slight daze. ÔLily just said please to me. That's almost civil. Must be the Potter charm,' he thought. What he actually said was, "Okay, you don't have to date me and you don't have to come to my house. But you never said I couldn't come in." And with that, he stepped in and started dusting his feet on the Evanses' welcome mat, which had a picture of a Pekingese on it.
Now it was Lily's turn to sit and sigh. "Fine, come in. Get plowed down by Petunia's fiancŽ. Have a nice day.
"Oh," James said slyly, "but you're forgetting one thing. I'm a Marauder. Marauders don't get plowed down by Muggles.
Which turned out to be true. James still had his cloak and top-of-the-line Maplespeed 5000: the perfect tools for tricking a Muggle without getting carted away by the Ministry for "improper use of magic.
He crept into the sitting room and stood, invisible, behind the large, purple man that he took to be the infamous Vernon Dursley. Dursley was making small talk with Petunia and her parents and changed the subject quite drastically thanks to a poke from the end of the broomstick.
"Yes, Mr. Evans, I quite enjoy classical ---" Jab. " --- GET YOUR OWN TOOTHPASTE!"
Lily was giggling; James could hear her. He turned around, grinned, and messed up his hair, forgetting that no one could see it anyway. Then he grabbed a startled Lily and snuck up to her room.
"Told you Marauders don't get attacked by obese Muggles.
"Okay, well, fine. But now Petunia's after your blood, so you'd best be off.
James stood hesitantly.
"No, nevermind, stay for a while. Then maybe Petunia will badly injure you and I won't have to deal with you anymore.
"Aww, think about it. Do you REALLY want to sic your sister on me?" said James with his best puppy-dog face.
"Yes," replied Lily, but she was grinning.
ÔMaybe she really does like me,' thought James.
"Don't even think about it, Potter," Lily said quickly. "This is just the effects of living with Petunia: You're glad to see someone who likes you besides your parents.
James crinkled up his eyes and raised one eyebrow. "Are you a Legilimens?
"A Leggy-what?
ÔSuperb,' thought James, ÔSomething I know that Evans doesn't!
"It's, like, somebody who can read minds. Or, access memories. Snivellus is one.
"Oh, great, thanks. Now I'm going to spend my last year at Hogwarts wondering if HE'S reading my thoughts. But, don't worry, I'm not. I mean, I didn't even know what it was until just now.
"Lily, dear, who are you talking to up there?" called Mrs. Evans.
"Oh --- just --- thinking aloud, Mum!
"All right then," said Mrs. Evans, sounding skeptical.
"Talking to your pet lettuce," James grinned. Not his usual about-to-play-a-prank grin, Lily noticed, but more of an actual smile. She returned it.
"NOW will you go out with me, or do you still like the giant squid better?
"I still prefer the squid. But maybe, just maybe, I WILL go over to your house.
A/N: Well, originally I wasn't going to post this, so that's why there's no author's notes or disclaimers or anything on the first chapter. And yes, I KNOW I shouldn't have started another story, but what can I say? I was bored. I had writer's block on most of my other fics. It was summer. So... if you haven't already, please look at my profile and read some of my other fics! If you like the randomness in chappie one or the Maraudery-ness in this one (which I hope I achieved), you'll definitely like some of my other stories. And please review! I beg of you! I'm always deliriously happy when I get an email in case it's a review alert! So bye until next time I'm bored! Have a nice day! :-D (Hey, I just used a lot of exclamation points, how interesting.)