A Naruto Fanfiction
By asa-chan
Warning: Shonen Ai, OOCness?, swearing, R, Humor and more
Pairing: Gaara/Naru, Sasu/Naru, Shika/Naru, Itachi/Naru, whoa I know many pairings, but asa-chan is a dirty, perverted thing and likes all those pairings...
Disclaimer: asa-chan doesn't own Naruto! Now you made her sad.
Summary: How did this all happen, Naruto asked himself. O yeah, one day Gaara came up to me and said: Show me what being in love means.... Sasuke didn't like that one bit... I wonder why... Gaa/Naru Sasu/Naru
Review replies:
First, I never thought that this fic. would become so popular! Thank you!
Kellie: I'm flattered that you think my little ficcie is original! Thanks for the review!
Luna: Alright, I will continue it! Here is the update!
Kyuubi no Kitsune: You also like Sasu/Naru Gaara/Naru? That's good! Thanks for the review!
Morien Aexander: I've deciced it will be Gaara/Naruto. But Sasuke will also play an important role....
Anonymous: Uhh, thanks for the review
Nikkler: I'm glad that you like my fic!!! Here is the update!! Thankies!!
Hyperactivator: Uh, please?
Kuroi Hikari: Is he too blunt? I hope he isn't, but thanks for the review!
LarkSpur2: It was entertaining? I'm happy! Thanks for the review!! ^^
Soccer*Mexi: I'm glad that my story caught your interest. Everyone seems to like Gaara/Naru more.... Of course I will e-mail you, if I need some ideas! Thanks!
Oceana: It's on your favorites liest? I'm flattered! *blushes* Thanks fo the review!
Iceheart19: Well, maybe I will draw the picture of that scene..... Maybe.... Thanks for the review!
Abyss: Of course, Naruto is cute!! And everyone has a sarcastic side, juts look at asa-chan.... *coughs* I'm glad that you like it!
Ninetials2: Update is here! Thanks for the review!
Naruke: Thanks, I guess....
Little Leila: Leila! Meine Freundin! Heisst das du wirst beta-readen? Ich liebe dich!! Und nur das du es weisst: THIS FIC IS DEDICATED TO Leila!!!
Draconnis: They aren't OOC? Well, they are now OOC.... I'm sorry.... *asa-chan cowers*
Lady Dragon: Spoiler Alert: It will be Gaara/Naru, but before that, everyone will have a share of Naruto.... *cackles*
Firedraygon97: I also love both pairings! Thanks for the review!
RuByMoOn17: Ok!! Thanks for the review!! ^_^
Luna: Okay, here is the update!
Kiina: Thank you, thank you!!! Nur ne Frage, in welchem Teil von Österreich lebste eigentlich?
Ookima: Really? Thanks you!!!
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"Blah" - Speaking
'Blah' - Thinking
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-CHAPTER 2-
Naruto POV:
Okay, please tell me why I was sitting here, in a stuffy old classroom with Gaara, trying to teach him how to love.
Oh yeah.
He asked me. Damn, have to stop being too nice to everybody. Heh, I'm such a good guy. But at least he caught me, after I'd fainted. Really nice of him. And that he persuaded me with dozen bowls of Ramen, made it a little more pleasant.
He can already woo very well
Damn, I'm such a sucker for Ramen!! A terrible (but tasty) weakness!!
What?? ¬_¬
Hmph, his tongue didn't change my decision one bit! I'm my own man, a strong and determined person! I've the will of a real manly man, of a true shinobi!! Me, persuaded by a simple french kiss?? Don't make me laugh!!
Haha!!!
I'm Naruto Uzumaki, vessel of the feared Kyuubi!! I won't be swayed by those things! Never!!!
Okay, I admit it, it was his kiss and the Ramen. Are you now satisfied? Geez!!
Don't laugh. Meanies. Bah, I don't like you. Meh.
Still, I have the difficult mission before me. I have to teach Gaara how to love. I mean, Gaara?? Who murders some unfortunate people without batting an eyelash? Yeah, I'm pretty sure he'd changed a bit, but he won't turn his personality 180°
Naruto, you're such an idiot!!! Why did you agree to such a stupid deal?!! I'm caught between a rock and a hard place!! Why me?! Why me?!
Great.
Oh well, a man has to do, what a man has to do! And Gaara looks quite good, with his red hair, pale skin and those green eyes. Maybe I will finally lose my damn virginity!!! Wonderful world of sex, lube and orgasms, I'm coming!! Wait for me!!! Mwahahahahaha!! But work comes before pleasure. I hope Gaara is a fast learner....
Okay, okay, Naruto-sensei's: 101 Sex&Love ED class is finally going to start! Brace yourself!
Why are you all running away, screaming? Oi, I'm not such a bad teacher!!! Man, cowardly chickens! All of you!
"Okay Gaara, first I 've to teach you the theory, then comes the real work...., you know what I mean, right?" I asked him, after I'd adjusted my glasses and chewed on my pen.
"Know what?" Gaara asked blankly, staring at me in that freaky way.
"Sex. The hot, passionate, steamy, fucking like mad bunnies sex." I responded, nonchalantly cleaning my nails.
"Oh, okay." Nodded Gaara and scribbled something on his notebook. Then he raised his hand and tapped his finger against his cheek.
"Yes?" I asked, crossing my arms.
"Is sex necessary in a...", he paused, "in a relationship?"
I stared at him, eyebrows raised. "Of course, sex is necessary!!! Without any of it, every relationship is doomed!!! DOOMED, I'm telling yah!"
Gaara nodded again. "Can we have some sex later?"
"Of course." Came my answer, and he, satisfied, went back copying the notes from the blackboard. Funny, I thought, I heard some weird noises from the open window. Nah, has to be my imagination... Oh boy, that Icha Icha Paradise book Yaoi edition is really good!!! I never knew such positions exist..... Awesome--- I'm already drooling. Hey, that's my edition!! Nyah! Nyah!! Your grubby, dirty hands of Yaoi-fangirls won't get it!!!
Sasuke POV, (who is perched under the window, eavesdropping):
'WHAT THE HELL?! HE AGREED TO IT?!'
I peeked into the room through the open window and just saw the smirk on Gaara's face, before he quickly wiped it away as Naruto turned to him.
'You stupid moron!! Can't you see?! He just wants to use you as a fuck toy!! Do something! ARGH!' - The hidden, hidden, horny and bold Inner Sasuke
'And? It's not our business. If Naruto wants to be so naive, let him be. He is just his usual, dumb self.' - Outer bad, bad, silent and cold Sasuke.
'But I wanted to screw him first! He is a virgin!!' Wailed Inner Sasuke, glaring at Gaara.
'
Fuck! You're right!' Realized Outer Sasuke and cursed.
'I'm always right, you foolish outer self! Now get your lazy ass moving and do something!' Snarled Inner Sasuke, crackling his knuckles.
'DUMB?! HOW DARE YOU?! I WILL SHOW YOU DUMB!' Growled Outer Sasuke.
'Bring it on!' - Inner Sasuke.
[So, Outer Sasuke and Inner Sasuke battled..., until Sasuke lost his balance and fell into the bushes below him]
Gaara's thoughts, as he saw Sasuke's face disappear: 'Uchiha is an idiot.'
Naruto POV:
"Okay, here we go. First, how to recognize the symptoms that you love somebody, then I will teach you how to really love somebody. Okay Gaara, can you tell me what love is?"
"No." Was Gaara's answer.
"Well..., okay, can you describe me what you feel when you see me?" I asked, running a hand
through my messy hair. 'That is harder than I thought it would be....'
"How should I put it in....., my whole body tingles pleasantly when I see you every time, my heart begins to beat madly, like it wants to burst out of my body, whenever I think of you, your sincere smile makes me feel so good and your carefree laughs remind me of the beautiful singing of a nightingale, your clear blue eyes let me think of the crystal blue sky in a warm summer day and your blonde hair is like the shining sunbeams..... And your full lips... I just want to taste them..." Gaara trailed off.
"Gaara, did you read some poetic novels?" I inquired, while blushing madly, twiddling with my thumbs. 'Stop blushing and acting like a silly high school girl! You're Naruto Uzumaki, future Hokage of Konoha!!!' - Outer Naruto
'But it was so cute of him!!!!' Squealed Inner (Girly) Naruto and the fangirls agreed.
--------
Third POV:
In the bushes, Sasuke gagged. He quickly turned around and had a kunai ready in his hand, as he heard some rustling behind him, also in the bushes.
He stared directly in the white, pupil-less eyes of one Hyuuga Neji. Behind Neji were Shikamaru, Kakashi, Iruka, Kiba, Sakura, Ino, TenTen, Chouji, Temari, Shizune, Tsunade, Jiraiya, Gai, Lee, Konohamaru and Kankurou. All had guilty expressions on their faces, excluding the kunoichis, who were giggling and had camcorders in their hands.
Sasuke's eyes widened a bit and he started to open his mouth, but was cut off.
"Shhhsh!!!! Hissed male and female voices, pointing to the open window.
"What are you doing here?!" Snarled Sasuke, pissed off.
"The same as you. Spying on them." Answered Kakashi, one eye crinkling happily, patting Sasuke on the shoulders.
"I wasn't spying." Sasuke snapped and slapped Kakashi's hands away. "It was useful research."
With these words he turned back and he perked up his ears to hear Gaara's answer.
-------
Naruto POV:
"Of course. I, after all, have to be prepared." Said Gaara, all businesslike.
"... Okay...., that was nice of you Gaara. Now, I will show you the symptoms of how you recognize that you love or like somebody very much. First, jealousy! Jealousy shows that you, at least, are interested in that person. Jealousy can lead to obsession, which is a big No-No in a relationship. If you want to know what obsession is, look at Orochimaru or at Sakura. Both are obsessed with Sasuke and won't leave him alone, but Sasuke deserves it. I think.
While Sakura is the nice stalker, category 2# Mostly Harmless but be wary, Orochimaru is not. He is category 10#, not harmless and deadly danger, danger, danger!!! Stalkers are really a big turn off, so I advise you not to do it.
But now, I will show you what (good) jealousy is! Neji! Shikamaru! Sasuke! Please come in!" I called and clapped in my hands.
------
In the bushes, said ninjas were raising their eyebrows, shrugged and left quickly.
"How troublesome."
------
Haha!! I know that some of the dear readers are raising their eyebrows now, while asking themselves: What the hell, he wants to do with three of them, but you will see. After all, the dear author: asa-chan likes Yaoi [No Shit Sherlock!] and likes those pairings. She would have also invited Sex God Itachi, but alas there is a small problem. Sasuke hates Itachi's guts and more and vice versa.
So, no Itachi/Naruto. She is very sorry. I'm too. Life really sucks.
All popped immediately in the classroom, looking cool as usual. "What is it Naruto? I've to train!" Said Neji.
Pfft. What liars. Do they think I didn't notice any of them. I am pretty stupid and oblivious, annoying and noisy, this is clear...., wait a moment, why am I insulting myself? That's Sasuke's and the villagers job. Anyway, the chakra of the Kyuubi allows me to hear some noises even miles away. Very handy.
"This is annoying." Stated Shikamaru and yawned.
"What is it dobe?" Asked Sasuke, in his usual detached and cool tone. Meh. Thinks he is the world's best looking guy, what?! Hah! You're wrong, stuck-up asshole! WRONG!!!! Mwahahaha!!!
Hahaha! Haha. Ha.... ha....
Unfortunately, it's true. Damn that bastard, but he is good looking! Argh!
"Hey Neji...., you know, you're not such a bad guy...., yeah, you tried to kill Hinata, but you were a bit off your rocker, I completely understand that, so, I've a favor to ask of you." I gulped and tried to avoid Neji's searching gaze.
"And the favor is?" He asked, his eyes scrutinizing and his arms crossed.
I prayed he would do it.
"Hehe. Kiss me?" I asked, trying to smile my cutest and most adorable smile, hands clasped under my chin.
Gaara's, Sasuke's, Shikamaru's, Neji's and the rest of the eaves-droppers eyes bugged and their jaw dropped.
"WHAT THE HELL!" Shouted an enraged Gaara and sand poured out of his gourd.
"See Gaara, this is jealousy! Watch and learn how to kiss!" I smiled and gently placed my own lips on Neji's ones and let them linger there for a moment, until I pulled away softly.
Neji was staring wide-eyed at me, mouth gaping, looking shocked. Mhhm, he tasted like....
Chocolate and Strawberries..., yummy.
Neji's mind:
That was...., surprising, but nevertheless not unpleasant.....
I never imaged that I would ever kiss Naruto Uzumaki. And he tastes just like spicy miso Ramen...
Ohhh.... *cheesy music starts to play and the air around Neji becomes all bubbly and
sparkly..., with colorful flowers and pink ribbons*
Naruto's lips were like a blooming oasis in the hot desert, covering my own dry cracked ones, his kiss touched my quivering lips, like rain moistens the dried-out earth.... Uwah uwah....
I swore to myself, to never read any trashy romance novels again. Damn you Yuki Eiri!!!
Damn you Naruto! Damn your tight perky ass!!!
-------
Gaara POV:
[A/N: Stop trying to deny it Neji, we all know you have a thing for Naruto, after we all have read the last chapters of the manga!!!]
*Readers nod*
My nonexistent left eyebrow twitched madly and I tried to calm myself down. "Okay, I think, this impulsive act, I was making, is called jealousy, am I right?"
Naruto nodded. "This is correct Gaara! You're a really fast learner, I'm proud of you!" He beamed at me, blue eyes shining.
Ohhh...... *suddenly sparkling Shojo bubblesand blooming flowers appeared around Naruto, bathing him in a soft pink glow....*
"Because you're all so weak, stupid and suck at kissing, I'm dumping all of you morons, only to meet my wonderful, strong and sexy lover, Gaara. You will never ever taint my pure soul again." Purred Naruto and kicked the asses of all the rivals, aka the whole male and female Konoha population. And now Naruto was running in slow motion into my arms, tears glistening in his eyes and. . . . I shook my head to dispel the vision, vowing never to read more Mills & Boone novels.
"So Shikamaru, now it's your turn!" Naruto grinned and stepped up to the frozen boy
"Eh?" He oh so intelligently replied.
On Naruto's face appeared his fox-grin; he yanked that pony-tailed guy down by his ugly green jacket and kissed him harshly on the lips.
I decided, that I didn't like jealousy one bit.
But the most terrible thing was, that Uchiha's turn was still open.
I hate Uchiha. I really do.
TBC...
Please review? asa-chan really likes reviews, because she is greedy. Make a small girl like her happy, ne?
asa-chan