Happy Holidays
by TAFKAE
Chapter 2: Merry Christmas!
Author's note: Although it will take me forever to get used to it, I'm calling hikari Bakura "Ryou" and yami Bakura just "Bakura." Note that this will take me forever to get used to.
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I don't own Yugi, Yami, Jounouchi, Honda, Anzu, Mai, Ryou, or Bakura. Hell, I don't even own a car. Aw, man, now I'm depressed! *bangs head on wall*
Yugi's eyes flew open. It was finally here! He jumped out of bed and ran to his window. The world was covered with a thick blanket of snow, and it was still coming down. "Yippee!" As fast as he could, he threw on a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt with a Christmas tree on it and "JINGEL ALL THE WAY" in big block letters (he didn't have a clue what it said, or that it was spelled wrong, but it looked Christmassy, and that was why he'd bought it), and of course the Millennium Puzzle, and then raced out the door.
Well, someone's a little excited this morning, his yami observed with a hint of amusement.
"I should be!" he replied, out loud, grinning eagerly. "It's Christmas today!!" He skidded round the corner into the living room and made a quick dash for the tree.
"Owmph!" And found his face planted firmly in the sofa. He'd forgotten about it being moved, and hadn't seen it in the dark. On top of all that, he was certain he detected a small chuckle out of his aibou. It's not funny, he thought with a scowl as he removed his head from between the cushions.
I never said it was, Yami replied quasi-innocently. Yugi crawled over the couch and behind the tree, then switched the lights on. The room was instantly filled with a soft, twinkling, multicolored, almost hypnotic glow. He then proceeded to curl up in a corner of the sofa and watch it, like he did every year. And every year, he'd ended up going back to sleep right there and then. This year, though… this year the ritual would change, albeit slightly. Could you please help me stay awake?
Sure. So, tell me, what's the point of this holiday again?
"I never told you 'bout Christmas?"
No. But it must be important if the entire world is so obsessed with it.
Hmm. He'd never tried to explain something as basic as Christmas before, so basic was how he decided to keep it. "Christmas is a holiday of giving, pretty much," he began. "People buy stuff, or make stuff, and then give it to their friends. And a lot of people give to charities, too. That's why it's called the season of goodwill."
Ah. There was a moment of silence. That's not everyone's definition, is it.
"Well, Grandpa said something about giving presents all day and then getting drunk once I go to bed, but I don't think he meant it…"
More silence. Just as Yugi was about to ask if he was asleep, Yami spoke up. Don't put it past him. I did find some 180 proof in the back of the fridge the other day.
If I find out you drank it…
Relax. You're underage, I wouldn't want to get you in trouble.
Still more silence. Then one word. Halloween?
Silence again. That's different.
It still nearly got us all killed.
Hey, far as I know Kaiba's still in Canada looking for us, and it was two months ago. We needn't worry.
And you still haven't told me… Yami's reticence invited him to continue. WHAT on EARTH were you THINKING?!
All right, I'll admit it. My sense of rational thought was clouded. Slightly.
Yugi groaned. "Clouded nothing. It disappeared entirely." There was no reply. "Isn't it amazing what revenge trips can do to people? I know that's what you were after. What were you trying to get him back for, anyway?"
Being himself, I think. Don't remember exactly.
There was yet another pause. "You're having trouble staying awake too, aren't you?" Yugi yawned after about a minute.
Oh, hush.
Five minutes later they were both fast asleep.
"Yugi? Yugi, wake up."
The ritual took another unexpected turn. Every year, he was awakened by his grandfather shaking him gently. This year, though, the voice belonged to "Jou?" Yugi opened his eyes and sat up straight. "What're you doing here? It's five in the morning!"
Jounouchi grinned. "For one thing, it's ten-thirty. And for another, I just thought I'd come a little early and help set up. Besides," he added, "I've got a few surprises I've been meaning to do…"
Yugi sighed and got off the couch with a yawn. "You'd better not be up to anything evil like last year," he warned.
Jou bent down and poked his friend in the chest. "Look, I don't know who planted the cherry bombs in Honda's snow fort, but it wasn't me, all right?"
"Actually, I was talking about setting his room on fire, but I believe you on the snow fort thing." He gently pushed Jou's hand out of the way and headed into the kitchen to get the snacks. "Come on, the others should be here by eleven."
"Speaking of which," Jou began, following him, "Ryou's coming, right?"
"Yeah, he said he was," Yugi replied innocently. "Why?"
"And, uh… is he bringing that ring thingy of his?" He tried to ask it casually and innocently, but it came out sounding almost mischievous. Or perhaps evil. In a Me sort of way.
Yugi laughed. "That's up to the ring thingy. Say… you're not asking this for any specific reason, are you?"
"Nope. No reason at all. Just curious."
He scowled. "If it weren't for it being Christmas and the season of goodwill and all, and the fact that I'm incredibly naïve and/or gullible, I'd probably be suspicious." He turned back to the refrigerator. "The chips are in the cupboard to the right of the microwave; just put them on the table by the tree."
"You're not suspicious at all?" Jou asked, almost in disbelief.
"I don't know the meaning of the word, Jou…"
There was a short pause, then Jou picked up the chips. "You are my best friend, Yugi."
"Thanks!"
Nok nok nok.
Jou looked up from an old Dr. Slump book he'd found. "What was that?"
Yugi was already headed out of the room. His friend absently watched him go, then followed and poked his head out into the front of the shop.
"Hi, Ryou!" Yugi said with a grin. "Why didn't you ring the doorbell?"
"You don't have one," Ryou said simply. "Really ought to get something done about that."
"Uh…" Jou detachedly pushed his forefingers together. "Did ya bring that ring thingy?"
Ryou nodded once. "Yes, but why –"
"Oh, no reason…" Jou returned to the living room, and for a second one could hear something that sounded like "Yesssss!" but it quickly died out.
Yugi smiled. "Want some chips?"
Ryou scowled at the doorframe Jou had gone through. "There's something decidedly fishy here…"
"What do you mean?"
He shot his friend an odd look. "You're not suspicious at all? He seems happy about it…"
"'Bout what?"
"Never mind."
"Jo!!"
They both turned around to see Honda standing there, a big grin on his face. "Oh hi there, Honda!" Yugi said with a wave.
"Hey, you hang around Jou a lot, do you have any idea what he's up to?" Ryou asked.
Honda cocked his head to one side. "Up to? What do you mean?"
"I thought not. Never mind." With that, he headed into the living room, grabbing a fistful of chips as he went.
Honda turned to Yugi. "What's going on here?"
"I'm not gonna worry my little head," Yugi replied. "If you want a soda, I made sure to get grape."
"Sure, why not?" said Honda, and he followed Ryou into the living room. "Where are those sodas at, anyways? Oh wait, never mind, I found them." He pulled a can of grape soda out of a bowl full of ice. "Anzu's coming, isn't she?"
"Hey Yugi, you should really close your door before all the snow comes in," said Anzu's voice from behind them.
"JESUS CHRIST!" Honda shouted, nearly jumping out of his skin. He whipped around. "It's rude to sneak up on people, you know!"
"You've just had too much caffeine," Anzu mumbled. "Where should I put the presents I brought?"
"Anywhere," Yugi chirped. "Is this everyone?"
"I think there's one more coming," said Jou, grinning, but didn't say who.
"Really?" said Yugi. "Are you sure?"
Jou started munching on some chips. "Abfofuffey."
Anzu cringed away. "That's disgusting, Jou!"
"Whuff if? Toffig wiff my mouf fuw?" He grinned broader and stuffed even more chips into his mouth. Anzu looked remotely like she was going to hurl.
Honda walked over and bonked Jou on the head rather forcibly. "She's right, Jou, it's disgusting."
Jou pouted, but swallowed. "You people are no fun at all... some Christmas party this is gonna be..."
Forty-five minutes later, the mystery "one more" hadn't shown up (although you have three guesses who it is, and the first two don't count), but Jou kept saying they'd be here any minute, so they'd now resorted to regular party games. They were on charades, and Ryou was up.
"Two words. First word... sounds like... stop?" The guesses came from various other people. "No... it's.... sounds like 'hello'? Hi! Hi, sounds like hi!" Ryou nodded vigorously. "Sigh. Why. Try. My."
He nodded again. "My?" Honda mumbled. "Ooh, this one could get interesting."
"Second word. Foot. Floor. Rug. Table?" Ryou rolled his eyes and shook his head, then continued his frantic hand motions. "Oh, I don't know. Give us another hint," Yugi prodded.
Then Ryou pointed behind all of them. "Room. Behind. Past." Finally, Yugi actually looked back towards the front of the store and laughed. "Oh, I've got it!" He turned back and doubled over in a wave of giggles. "Somebody else get the door, I don't think I can stand up."
Jou got up and looked at Yugi oddly for a second, before turning to the front door. "OH!! Mai's here!"
"YES!" Ryou laughed. "I've only been trying to tell you for the last five minutes!"
"Aw, fudge monkeys," Jou muttered, bounding to the door.
"You invited Mai?" said Anzu in disbelief.
Jou ignored her and opened the door, letting in a blast of chilly air, and one Mai. "How long you been standin' out there?" he asked. "You cold?"
"Since about when Ryou started, and if I'm cold I didn't notice," Mai replied, her hair and coat dotted with flecks of snow, and a small smile on her face. "He looks so ridiculous doing charades."
Ryou averted his eyes and scratched the back of his neck nervously.
Anzu paused to emphasize the look of disgust developing on her face, then spoke. "You. Invited. Mai?!"
"If it's me you're addressing, then no," said Yugi innocently. "But she's a friend, ne?"
"Well, who did invite her then?" Anzu demanded.
Honda pointed at Jou. Anzu groaned and mumbled something about murdering them both later. "Uh, this is the season of goodwill, right?" tried Yugi, but his words had little to no effect on her expression.
Ryou, always of course the peacemaker, had a better idea. "Newcomers are it," he said, flashing his cute grin.
"Yeah, newcomers are it!" Jou repeated, flashing his perverted one.
Mai scowled, but got in position and started, and the guesses started flying. "Candy. Page. Book." She nodded. "Book! And, uh... close. Slam. Bounce. Baseball. Oh! Hitting Jou over the head with a book!" (The guess came from Anzu.)
"Actually, what I was thinking was 'What's going to happen to Jou if he tries anything,'" said Mai haughtily. "But you were close enough."
Jou gulped. Everyone else laughed. Finally, Jou spoke up. "You mean just against you, right?"
His head was almost instantaneously introduced to a nearby dictionary, courtesy of Anzu. "OW!!!"
"No," said Anzu calmly. "Anyone's fine."
"Understood," Jou mumbled insincerely.
Anzu moved to put the dictionary back on the table by the soda bowl, but accidentally bumped it, and sent it off the edge of the table, spreading ice and assorted soda cans out onto the floor. "...Oops."
Yugi's eyes went wide. "Oh, man, now we're in trouble..."
"No we're not," said Jou.
"Whaddaya mean? Grandpa's gonna come down here, and then -"
Jou grinned. "Your Gramps ain't home. He ditched when I showed up. Think I heard him mumbling something about a strip club."
Mai snorted in suppressed laughter. Honda and Anzu glanced at each other, but remained silent. Ryou developed a look of total horror on his face.
"Well then, let's get the ice cleaned up," said Yugi, sighing in relief.
Ryou had completely locked up, barely even breathing. Not home, eh? his yami was muttering to himself. Oh, this is just too perfect!
About a half-hour and a few stupider-than-stupid games later...
"Okay, that's it. I'm bored," said Jou.
"We would've had more fun if we could've gotten Ryou to play hide-and-seek," Yugi said innocently.
Ryou had suddenly withdrawn from any and all games after he'd "accidentally" tripped someone in duck-duck-goose (though that's dang hard to play with only six people). No one could understand why that one thing had shaken him so much that he wouldn't play anything else, but then again, they did know he was kind of skittish.
"Hey, I know," Honda suggested, out of the blue. "We've been putting it off for the whole party, so why not -"
"Presents!" yelled Yugi with a big, childish grin.
"I meant lunch, but okay," Honda shrugged.
"Presentspresentspresentspresentspresents!" Yugi chirped.
Calm down! The presents aren't going anywhere, his yami sighed in exasperation, in the tone one would use to address a three-year-old.
I dun care! Presents are so much fun!
I shouldn't have let you have that Mountain Dew for breakfast...
"The presents aren't going anywhere," said Mai in exactly the same tone.
"Mountain Duuuuuuuuuuuu..."
"That would explain a lot."
Jou reached into the small pile of presents by the wall. "I know which one we oughta do first!"
Honda moaned. "Aw, man! I wanted to give my present first! It's a really good one..."
"Well, too bad," said Jou insensitively. "Here it is." He tossed a small cylindrical package to Ryou.
Ryou looked at it curiously, then at the tag. He felt his stomach sink as his yami's curiosity rose; it was addressed to the latter. Now what the hell could he... he's gotta be up to something... The now-Yami Bakura stole a suspicious glance at Jou, then took the wrapping off the cylinder and popped the top open.
Instantly, a giant, fat, springy snake jumped out towards his face. He yelped and practically threw the can across the room. "HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!"
Jou started laughing hysterically.
When Bakura's heart had resumed its normal rhythm, his eyes settled into a glare, and the glare settled on Jou, and he literally trembled with rage. "All right, wise guy..."
"Good grief, Jou, you're more suicidal than I thought!" Honda whispered to his friend.
"What? Why d'ya say that?"
Bakura took three long strides across the room to reach him, and grabbed him fiercely by the collar. "Step outside."
Jou waved his hands nervously. "Eh, we can talk this out, right? Like, uh, civilized gentlemen?"
"Civilized gentlemen don't give each other Springy-Snakes-In-A-Can for Christmas," Bakura hissed.
"That's enough!"
They both looked up to see Yami Yugi standing next to them. "Oh, I see we have a chaperone after all," Bakura deadpanned.
"Look, I don't have many rules here, but 'No Homicide' is one of the big ones," said Yami firmly.
"You'd be wanting to kill him too," Bakura protested.
"Wanting to and attempting to are two entirely different things." His scowl opened up into a smirk. "Difference being that the latter is a punishable offense."
"I love it when they fight like this," Anzu said aside to Mai, and offered a bowl to her. "Popcorn?"
Mai didn't answer, just stared at the unfolding argument. Yugi was a nice kid, right? And Ryou was a nice kid too, right? So why were they fighting anyway?
Anzu blinked. "Oh well. More for me."
Suddenly, Mai made up her mind to find out something she'd been wondering about since Halloween. "All right Mazaki, something is up with those two and you're going to tell me what it is."
"They're both schizophrenic and their alter egos hate each other," said Anzu so quickly that it sounded like she was making it up. Mai made that assumption and shrugged. Schizophrenics, yeah right. She reached over and dug into the popcorn. Maybe this would be amusing… albeit totally and completely inexplicable.
Bakura, after a long pause in which he and Yami essentially just glared at each other, pointedly released Jou's collar and straightened up. "The next time anybody tries something like that again…" He let the sentence dangle threateningly in the air.
Naturally, it didn't dangle well enough to faze Yami. "The next time anybody tries something like that again, you'll talk it out like civilized gentlemen."
"You heard what I said about civilized gentlemen," Bakura grunted. "Any Springy-Snake-In-A-Can takes the giver off that list."
"I thought attempted murder –" Jou started, but was abruptly cut off by a vicious glare from Bakura, and decided it would be in his best interests to shut up.
"Now…" said Yami quietly, "without any further outbursts of that sort, let's return to the presents."
"All right!" said Honda, digging into the heap. "Hold on, Yug', this one's for you…" He blinked, then searched again. "Now where did I put it?"
Yami was returning to his spot when something on the snack table caught his eye. Are those Skittles?
Aw, fudge monkeys, cried Yugi, and probably would have gone quite pale if he'd been the one in control of his body at the moment.
Yami reached into the small bowl of candy and pulled out a single piece. Oh dear. If it had been anything else… anything else at all… I could have resisted. He stared at the Skittle, turning it over and over in his hand. So elegant in its coarseness! So complicated in its simplicity!
Aibou, no! You've been clean for two months! Don't blow it now!
It was too late. He'd popped the Skittle into his mouth. It was strawberry. He grabbed a handful and returned unobtrusively to his spot on the floor, but with a small smile on his face.
He was the King of Games. He never lost. But in the war against sugar addiction, he just had.
He'd just finished the handful and had every intention to get another when Honda spoke up. "Hey, look at that. It was in my coat pocket all along!" His classmate pulled a small package out of his pocket and handed it to him. "Here ya go, man. Merry Christmas and whatever."
Yami raised one eyebrow, then let his aibou emerge again. It looks like a booster pack or something, Yugi thought absently before pulling off the wrapping paper. And it wasn't even a full booster pack – only three cards fell into his hands. But it was what was printed on the cards that made his eyes go wide. He looked up and stared at Honda. "Honda, where did you get these?" he asked in shock and disbelief.
"Well, I was taking a walk at the beach a little while ago and there they were," said Honda as if it was no big deal. "They're a little waterlogged, but they should probably still work."
Anzu leaned over Yugi's shoulder, and her eyes widened as well. "Oh my God! I thought those were gone forever!"
"So did I," Yugi breathed.
"Okay, I cave. What is it?" said Jou.
Yugi turned the cards over to show them to the others. They were the three remaining pieces of Exodia that had fallen overboard on the way to the Duelist Kingdom. Bakura nearly gagged on his soda.
"Aw, that's not fair!" Mai proclaimed, breaking the awkward silence that followed (punctuated only by Bakura's coughs). "I've always wanted one of those..."
Honda smiled proudly. "Well, Yugi?" he said, almost teasingly. "What do you say...?"
Yugi looked up at him again, teary-eyed, then ran over and hugged him. "I love you, man!"
Jou started chuckling. Honda shot him a glare. "Oh, shut up. And you get off."
Yugi withdrew obediently, with the look on his face of a little boy who just got the toy Jeep he asked Santa for.
Mai was trying incredibly hard not to say, "Awwwww!" Well, hey, he looked so damn cute! That should not be possible in a fourteen-year-old!
Anzu shoved another bowl in front of her. "Want some Skittles?"
WHAT?! Damn it, those are MY Skittles!!! Yugi had to put a lot of effort into suppressing his yami this time, his face noticeably contorting from the exertion.
Jou noticed. "Uh, Yug'? What's wrong?"
Yugi opened his eyes and met Jou's. "Why did you bring Skittles?"
"I like Skittles," Jou replied simply.
"Did it even once occur to you that Yami might like Skittles too?" Yugi sighed, already knowing the answer.
There was a short pause, then Jou spoke again. "Oops."
"Who's Yami?" asked Mai aside to Anzu.
"That's what we call his alter ego," said Anzu, again so promptly that Mai was convinced she was pulling her leg. "See, he can't seem to come up with anything better."
Bakura smiled and, as he was very good at doing, started imitating Ryou. "What's wrong with Skittles?" he asked. (Well, the question was genuine, but he had a feeling they wouldn't want to tell him.)
"Ohhh..." Yugi shuddered. "That's right, you weren't there the last time he had sugar..."
"Oh yes, I remember that quite clearly," said Mai. "You were acting very weird and no one's telling me why."
"I did tell you!" Anzu protested.
"You're not answering my question," Bakura stated as patiently as he could.
"He's unpredictable, sadistic, and dangerous when he's on sugar," said Yugi.
"How's that different from when he's not?"
"It's to a much greater degree."
"Ah." Bakura had to try hard not to smirk. "And uncontrollable, ne?"
Yugi nodded. "Extremely. If I let him get at the Skittles we're screwed."
Bakura stopped the imitation as abruptly as he'd started it, and smirked profusely. "Thank you for that information, you gullible fool."
Jou and Mai cringed almost simultaneously. "Ooh, I hate when he does that..." the former groaned. "Dang hard to tell them apart sometimes..."
Yugi had gone quite pale. "Okay, now I think we're screwed whether he gets at the Skittles or not."
Come on, aibou, just let me have just a few Skittles… don't make me do something drastic…
I am not going to support this! For the last time, NO! He frowned and nervously returned to his seat, with the appearance of one in deep thought.
You've got no sense of fun.
Get ahold of yourself! I don't even want to know exactly what happened on Halloween, and I definitely don't want it to happen again!!
Season of good will…
Look, I may be naïve, but even I'm not that naïve.
There was a short pause. Please…?
My mind's made up. I'm not letting you out.
A few feet away, Bakura fingered the Millennium Eye through his pocket, and his smirk deepened again. Aw, come on. It just can't be this easy!
Yami fumed, but resolved that at the first chance he got, he would have more of that fruity sweet goodness.
Then Bakura got an idea. Why not give the poor guy a chance? Unpredictable, sadistic, dangerous, uncontrollable people were always a little bit easier to kill, especially if they were so sugared-up that they couldn't even see straight, much less think straight.
But he would wait. After all, maybe an opportunity to conveniently present that chance would present itself while gifts were still being given. He sighed and retreated for now, shoving Ryou out into the world. He hated waiting, but he'd gotten very good at it.
"So, whose present is next?" Jou asked. "Maybe we oughta go in a circle or somethin'…"
Mai smiled in a way that could make anyone with common sense suspicious. "I brought one for you." She walked to the pile and pulled out a box wrapped in blue, then handed it to Jou. He blushed and took it, then pulled off the wrapping paper.
Everyone else took one look at it and laughed.
Jou turned bright pink. "I doth believe mine sister's present hath got mixed up with mine own…"
"No, that's yours," said Mai almost evilly. Bakura speculated that she might almost make a good rival. "I certainly liked it."
"Well, yeah," said Yugi, wiping a tear out of his eye, "but you're a girl! Of course you're going to like Barbies!"
Anzu jumped to her feet. "Hey, that's a total stereotype! I personally hate Barbies!!"
"You're not the only one," Jou muttered, dropping the Beach Bum Barbie like it was crawling with maggots. "How about, eh, NEXT PRESENT, 'k?"
"Sure, why not?" said Yugi, jumping up and running over to the pile, then pulling out a small box and handing it to Anzu. She took it with a look of skepticism on her face, then opened it. "I saw it on BarnesandNoble.com and I thought you'd like it," he added.
She opened up the box, then cast an odd look at the package inside. "'The Ultimate Paperback Book Cover'?" She took it out of the wrapping and looked it over, and appeared then to see why it was called that, and smirked. "Oh, you were right, Yugi! I am going to like this very much!" She looked around. "But I'll need to test it. Where's a paperback? Oh wait, never mind, here it is." She pulled a random book from the shelf and put the cover on it, then looked at Jou. "Hold still."
"What?" said Jou.
CLANG!!!!
Anzu took the cover off of the book and put the latter back in its spot. "Yep! Works like a charm! Having to read The Scarlet Letter will never be the same..."
Honda grabbed the discarded package and read the back, with Mai and Ryou leaning over his shoulders. "'Appears to be a simple personalizable book cover, but actually makes your paperback into an iron-back with a piece of sheet metal in each cover.'"
Jou rocked back and forth, his eyes in spirals. "Could you repeat that? My ears are still ringing..."
"Poor guy. All but one present so far, he's had to suffer..." said Ryou as he grabbed some chips.
"You'd better not be doing impressions again," said Honda.
Ryou raised one eyebrow. "He's not physically capable of saying 'poor guy'."
"Oh... yeah, that's right. Gotcha."
Anzu picked up a box wrapped in green with little Christmas trees all over it, then handed it to Ryou. "Here. Couldn't remember what it was you like, so I kinda played it safe."
"Thanks," he said quietly as he carefully took the paper off, revealing a small box of store-bought sugar cookies with red and green frosting. His heart sank again, but he didn't have the heart to tell her he was allergic to Red 3. And judging by the bright crimson shade of the icing on half the cookies, they had every different number of red that wasn't a known carcinogen. And maybe a few that were, he thought, forcing a smile and setting the cookies down next to him, near the fallen Springy-Snake-In-A-Can. He didn't trust store-bought cookies.
And with good reason, Bakura added. I managed to slip some cyanide into a batch a few years back. It's so easy to poison people who trust huge commercial ventures...
Ryou went quite pale as the revelation dawned on him of just why they'd never caught the cyanide-cookie guy. He'd kind of been nine years old at the time.
The cyanide-cookie guy chuckled menacingly.
Suddenly, Jou thought of something. "Hey Mai, if you got me a freakin' Barbie for Christmas, what'd you get Yugi? I mean, I was under the impression you liked me, and I know you like Yugi better than me…"
"What makes you say that?" Mai asked innocently.
"Everybody likes Yugi better than me," he replied. "So what'd you get him?"
Whoops. "Uhh…" Mai looked around. It had just occurred to her that in her frantic rush to get her hair done in time that morning (not that it had been worth it, what with the wind and all), she'd left Yugi's present right on top of her bed. It really hadn't been a very good present, either. She would have to think fast.
Fortunately, Mai was very good at thinking fast. She didn't like the idea she'd come up with, but maybe she could pretend Yugi was somehow comparable to her little brother. Just as fast, she realized that 1) that wasn't going to happen and 2) everyone else was staring at her, and decided to herself, Aw, screw it, and leaned over and planted a kiss on his lips.
Needless to say this surprised him. For a second, he stiffened, wondering hysterically what the hell she was doing, and then relaxed when it occurred to him that hey, he liked this!
For some reason, Jou turned a few shades of red and started shaking.
Yugi turned more and went totally limp.
Maybe about ten or fifteen seconds later, Mai pulled away and left Yugi as a bubbling blob of jelly in his folding chair. Well, not literally, but you get the idea. Now everyone else was staring even more at her, and this time not in questioning but in mixed disbelief and disgust. She ignored them and turned her thoughts back to herself. You know, for someone who just hit puberty he's a really good kisser, she thought. I'd never be able to tell just by looking at him, but still…!
Bakura saw his opportunity knocking and quickly answered the door. He reached into a bowl, grabbed a single Skittle, and banked it off Yugi's head.
Yugi hardly noticed, until a second later a strange feeling came over him, one he could only recall feeling once in his life before, and he vaguely heard his other say, Sorry about this, kiddo, but you left me with an opening and no choice but ta use it!
He almost panicked. The one other time he'd felt it had been on Halloween. Normally he would have been ready for this, but he hadn't recovered enough from Mai's little Kiss Of Death to put up much resistance. He slumped against the back of his chair and his eyes fell shut, but only for a second before his body was up and his mind was left down.
And with that, Yami started into the Skittles with a yet unseen frenzy.
Bakura took a conveniently contrived piece of chalk from the hearth where he sat and scratched out a single tally mark. On the brick he had designated as his own, of course.
Jou groaned. "Oh, no. Mai, I think you ruined something."
"What?" said Mai.
Bakura folded his arms and smirked. "Well, of course! If it hadn't been for you, the idiot we have fondly dubbed 'Yami' would still be hiding away in his soul room. Now I have seized the bull by the horns and –"
CLANG!!!
His face had just been introduced to Anzu's new book cover. She dusted off her hands and grinned, picking up the chalk that lay next to the twitching, swirly-eyed grave robber. "So, which of these bricks is mine?" she asked as she noticed the tally mark.
"As soon as I can see again, woman, you're dog meat," he mumbled, still lying on his back on the hearth.
Mai just blinked. "Okay, what the hell just happened?"
"Argh… How many times do I have to explain this to you before it sinks into your ditzy, blonde skull?!" Anzu cried out in exasperation. "They're. Both. Split. Personality. Cases!"
"So sue me! I thought you were joking about that!" Mai protested.
"I wasn't, you dumb blonde!"
"Baka ballerina!"
"Brainless whore!"
"Ladies, ladies," said a voice that could only be Yami's, and sure enough it was, and its owner was soon standing between them, with a hand on each of their shoulders, pulling them apart. "We don't need to fight over this… there's plenty of me to go around."
Jou pumped one fist in the air. "Whoo! That was a good one! And it's even right…"
The girls didn't seem to like it as much. Yami barely managed to duck out of the way of Anzu's book. "Hey, hey, I was joking! JOKING!"
"One more joke like that and you won't be playing any more games for a long, long time," Anzu hissed.
His eyes lit up. "GAME! That's what we need to settle this!"
Everyone fell over, even Bakura, who had just barely managed to sit up again. "God damn it, you baka, do you have to solve everything with a game?!" he shouted indignantly.
"Well, how should I solve it, just automatically send them to the shadow realm like you do?"
"YES!"
Yami bent over and wagged one forefinger in Bakura's face. "Ah don't thank so!" he said in a really funny-sounding Southern accent.
Bakura smirked. "You look like Pegasus' Doppelganger."
Yami blinked twice. "His… what? OH, wait –" he scowled. "That, my friend, was an insult. I chall-"
"Spare me," Bakura deadpanned before he'd finished. "Besides, I honestly don't care if I never see another Duel Monsters card for the rest of my life."
"I was going to challenge you to a different game," Yami grunted, producing a deck of black cards with three letters on the back…
"UNO?" asked Honda in surprise and disbelief. "Count me in!"
"Me too!" said Jou.
"But… but…" Yami protested, "but I wanted to kick his butt on my own!"
Bakura snorted. "You're the one who's going to regret that challenge. Duel Monsters, maybe. Duel Dice Monsters even, maybe. But I never – not to anyone – lose at Uno."
"He's off his nut," Mai mumbled aside to Anzu.
"What was your first clue?" Anzu replied snidely.
All the boys had already sat down and were dealing. The girls decided to stay out of this particular match, just in case the yamis got mad and decided to use their shadow powers to try and get an edge. "Seven cards each," said Yami gravely, dealing out the cards. "We'll make it a two-point match – every time you empty your hand is a point."
"Gotcha," said Jou, grinning wildly as he looked at his hand. A couple of Draw Twos and a Reverse; not bad for the first draw.
Honda looked over his hand, which contained nothing but reds, and sighed despondently. He knew he was toast.
Yami took a look at his two Wilds and couldn't believe his luck.
Bakura, between the Millennium Eye and the four Wild Draw Fours in his hand, figured he had this one in the bag. For one thing, he was certain no one knew he'd brought the Eye…
"Clockwise starting with the dealer's left," said Yami. "That, uh… that makes it your turn, Bakura."
Bakura smirked and laid a blue four on the red four that was already there. He was going to toy with them a while before they would get to see what was in his hand. Jou played a blue two.
Honda mumbled something incomprehensible and drew some cards off the top of the deck – all reds, too! – eventually stopping when he found a red two and laid it back down again. Now he was convinced that not only was there a God, but it hated him, too.
While Yami made his move (a red nine), Bakura took the opportunity to take an indirect look at Jou's cards. All right, so maybe he wasn't used to being able to read minds, but it was a handy skill. Jou had no Wilds, and his only green was a Reverse. The grave robber chuckled slightly, and when his turn arrived, he laid down the conveniently available green card he had, which happened to be a nine.
Jou laid down his Reverse, just as Bakura had planned it.
Bakura played a Wild Draw Four and, in an uncharacteristic move, stuck out his tongue. "Draw four and skip your turn, pal."
Yami grumbled, but complied. Who was he to break the rules?
Wait a minute. Break the rules? he thought. I didn't think anyone was low enough to cheat at Uno, but what if he did bring the Eye with him?
"Oh, and the color is…" Bakura pretended to think – he already knew exactly what he was going to choose – "…green."
Honda mumbled evil things and kept drawing until he finally got a green five and laid it down. By now he had about half the deck in his hand. And they were all reds. He couldn't help but wonder if the deck was stacked.
Jou was thinking that Mai was stacked, but he quickly turned his attention back to the game. A green five. He had a red five, so he laid that down.
Bakura was tempted to read Yami's mind, but knew his fellow artifact spirit would be able to sense it, and it just wasn't worth the risk. But after several times of glancing between his cards and the back of his enemy's, he gave up and decided to chance it. Yami had no blues.
On the other hand, one thing he did have was an uncannily good magic sense. "I was right!" he declared, pointing angrily at Bakura. "You are cheating!"
"WHAT? You liar!"
"Am not."
"Are t- oh, for God's sake, I don't have time for this…" He laid down a blue five on the pile. "Just move already."
Yami continued to glare.
"What? Make your move, jerkass, I don't have all day."
"You do now. I'm gonna hold up the game until you can prove you're not cheating."
"Uh…" Jou raised one finger. "Question. How would he be cheating?"
"He's got the Millennium Eye, remember?" Honda answered.
"Oh yeah. Then, uh… how would you tell?"
Yami smirked in an almost goofy way that made Bakura want to retch. "It is but one of my many abilities, my friend," he said quietly.
"I ought to kill you right here and now," Bakura hissed.
"Try it, cheater."
"I AM NOT A CHEATER!"
"What are you then?"
Something snapped. He didn't have a witty comeback. So he decided to use brute force. It was always so much more effective. Throwing down his cards (facedown of course), he jumped to his feet, grabbed Yami by the arm, and dragged him out into the front room of the store. "ACK!" Yami shouted. "Hey, where're we going? At least let me get some more Skittles first!"
The bell on the front door jingled as the grave robber shoved his way through the six-foot snowdrift into the street, dragging the hyperactive pharaoh behind him.
"What the hell is this about?!" Yami demanded as soon as he'd managed to wrench his arm free. Both of them seemed to be ignoring the fact that all their limbs were quickly going numb.
"Time to play a real game," replied Bakura with a smirk. "And I don't need to cheat to win at this one."
"So you were cheating!" his adversary said triumphantly, and did a little dance. "I waaaas riiiiight, I waaaas riiiiight…"
This can NOT be the same guy who kicked my ass in episode 12, he thought to himself. "Stop that goddamn dance and let me kill you already!"
"Oh, is that what you dragged me out into the freezing cold to do? I don't think so. I'm going back inside." Yami shivered. "Besides, it's gotta be at least twenty below and since the sidewalk is covered in slush, so are my socks."
The Millennium Ring glowed a pretty shade of blue-green. "You're not going anywhere, punk!"
Yami quickly but calmly took two steps forward and punched Bakura in the nose. "Thou shalt not separate me from mine Skittles," he said with a somewhat goofy grin as he shook out his hand.
Bakura's rejoinder was a small moan from where he lay on the sidewalk, with swirly eyes, and slush seeping into his hair. After a brief moment of debate, Yami grabbed him by one ankle and dragged him back inside the shop.
The others were just inside the door, but Mai was the one to speak first. "What happened? We couldn't see past the snowdrifts."
Yami's eyes drifted to the left. "We played a game… I won." Then he looked back at them and smirked. "I always win."
"I don't know. I think Bakura was winning at OOOF!" Jou was the one to attempt speech. Yami was the one who introduced his fist to his friend's gut. Not too hard, really, just hard enough to knock the wind out of him before he could finish the unwanted comment. Observation, yes; legal in this house, no.
Authority is your friend. Dictatorship is your good friend. A small fellowship of people who are actually afraid of you is your best friend. As far as he could remember, that had always been his policy, and it had never failed him before.
What he perceived as "as far as he could remember," though, wasn't actually that. It was what his sugar-frenzied mind perceived to be good at the moment.
But what he perceived to be a great situation simply couldn't last, because whilst he was basking in his arrogance, he felt something he hadn't felt in all of twenty minutes… an awakening. Pain… mumbled the voice of his aibou. Curse the Skittles… curse all the sugar.
Aw, nutbunnies, was all he could say before said aibou shoved him aside to investigate his surroundings.
Honda noticed first, as he often did. "Hey, welcome back to the waking world," he said flatly.
Yugi immediately sat down on a nearby folding chair and rubbed his temples. "I hate when he does that," he muttered.
"I'm confused but I'm starting to not expect understandable answers from you people," said Mai.
"What're we gonna do now?" Jou wondered aloud.
Yugi shrugged. "Order a pizza, I guess."
"Yeah, and maybe Mai can get us some beer," Honda suggested. "The way things are looking now, I think we're gonna need it."
*END CHAPTER 2 PART 1*
So how'd you guys like it? *crickets chirp* Oh… kay… nobody reads it… well, if you do, sign yer name in the review book. I wouldn't mind a "favorite author or story" status either *hint hint wink wink nudge nudge*…