Happy Holidays
by Tafkae
Chapter 2.5: Merry Christmas! (continued)
Let me note that this chapter is actually quite old; I just never got off my rear and uploaded it until SOMEBODY (coughCDRWcough) started yelling in my ear and threatening to kill me if I didn't upload. So here it is.
Chapter 2-and-three-quarters is in progress but I'm a lazy little freak.
There will now be a quick recap. Yami got on a sugar high again thanks to Bakura, who wants to kill him. Unfortunately, he's now learning it's even harder when Yami's off his nut. The boys all played Uno (except Yugi; he was unconscious at the time), and when Bakura started using the Millennium Eye to cheat, Yami caught him! After a brief verbal exchange, Bakura yanked him out into the snow and tried to play that one shadow game with him like he did to Pegasus in episode 38. Yami punched him and dragged him back inside, and then Yugi woke up. The six of them (or eight if you count the yamis) have now decided to pay a visit to a local restaurant of much decorum…
"Does anybody know the number for Domino's?" asked Jou eagerly.
sweatdrop Well… it's got decorum to them…
"Not a clue," said Yugi. "And we can't find the phone book anywhere."
"So let me get this straight," Mai began. "You have your dictionary conveniently accessible by the phone, but your phone book is missing?"
"Yeah, and now every time Grandpa tries to call the Yamadas down the street he wonders why he gets a voice telling him what a yam is."
Jou chuckled. "Well, games are one thing, but your Gramps sucks at real life."
"That is so true!" Honda agreed.
"He does not," Yugi mumbled, but it wasn't that sincere.
Yeah he does, and you know it, Yami replied, but Yugi ignored him; he'd decided that was what he was going to do for the rest of the day.
"Where does he find the numbers?" Anzu wondered aloud.
Honda shrugged. "Got me."
"I guess we'll just have to do it eat-in," said Jou dejectedly.
"Yeah, but what're we gonna do about Bakura? We can't just leave him here alone," Yugi pointed out.
"Why not?"
"Because then we wouldn't have anyplace left to have the party."
"Point taken."
"We could tie him to a chair," suggested Anzu.
Yeah! Hog-tie 'im and throw 'im in the closet! W00T!
Sober up, will you?! He turned his attention back to his friends. "No, that's kind of excessive…"
"Is it? He practically killed you, y'know," said Jou.
"Did he? I wouldn't know. I seem to have selective amnesia."
There was a momentary pause. You're mocking me, aren't you.
Did you figure that out on your own, or did you need Dr. Watson to help you?
"Uh… yeah. But we could take him with us, maybe?" Mai proposed.
"Yeah, and then we could keep an eye on him!" said Jou. "Great idea!"
"What's going on?" came a somewhat sluggish voice from the floor nearby. "Did I go and do something I wouldn't do? Again?"
"That depends. Are you a homicidal freak with a bloodlust the size of Texas?" Jou asked almost instinctively.
"And an ego the size of Canada," Honda added.
"Not the last time I checked," Ryou replied, sitting up and rubbing his nose. "Ow."
"Sorry about that," said Yugi.
"We're getting pizza, but we really don't want any trouble," explained Anzu. "So… I would hope you can stay behaved while we're there…"
"Don't worry. Between the paperback and whatever else happened, I think you guys really clocked him a good one." He smiled. "I doubt we'll have any trouble."
(Any middle school graduate will see the foreshadowing in that sentence.)
"All right, then!" said Mai, clapping her hands once. "I'll drive."
"You're the only one who's old enough to," Jou pointed out. Mai ignored him, and with little further ado, everyone went out to her convertible outside…
…which really wasn't made to seat six, so at least half of them were glad to be out of it when they arrived at Domino's. The snow was still coming down heavily, and there were piles of it all over the parking lot, regardless of the fact that it had been plowed just that morning. It was into one of these snow piles that Jou fell the moment he opened his door, laughing amidst the "Fa-la-la-la-las" he and Honda were singing at the top of their lungs. Anzu, about halfway there, had completely given up on telling them to shut up, and had instead begun to sing along, which caused the other three or so sane people to break into carols as well as a sort of "why the hell not" reflex.
"So what's everybody want on the pizza?" Mai asked, smiling bigly as she stepped out of the car.
"Mushrooms!"
"Extra cheese!"
"Pineapple!"
"Pepperoni, you can't forget the pepperoni!"
"Sausage!"
"Bacon!"
"Anchovies!"
Silence. Everyone stared at Ryou. "What?" he protested. "I like anchovies."
"We're not getting anchovies," said Mai.
"Why not?"
"Because I have to pay for this pizza. There will be nothing on it that I don't like."
Ryou sighed, but said nothing more. Yugi kind of looked sideways and up at him and smiled. "Aw, cheer up. That really can't be the only topping you like."
"…There's cheese…"
"You people are so boring," said Jou in annoyance, walking into the lobby. Anzu, who was holding the door, kicked him in the shin as he went past. "OW!"
"Merry Christmas," said the guy behind the counter; he couldn't have been more than two years older than his customers. "Welcome to Domino's Pizza. What can I do ya for?"
"Two large pizzas," said Mai, "one with everything but anchovies, and one with half-extra-cheese, half-everything-but-anchovies."
"And all three kinds of breadsticks!" Honda added.
"Two of each," said Jou.
"I never would have thought Domino's would be open on Christmas," Yugi remarked.
"They only make the Jews work today," the guy behind the counter replied casually. "Two large pizzas, one-and-a-half everything but anchovies, one half extra cheese, and two breadsticks, Cheesy Bread and Cinnasticks. That right?"
Jou and Honda nodded vigorously, thin trails of drool hanging from their mouths at the mere thought of Cinnasticks. Anzu scooted away in disgust.
Yugi glanced around at the empty restaurant. "It doesn't look like we'll have any trouble finding a seat," he commented. "Don't get much business today?"
"Yeah, so there's just me and the two cooks. We've pretty much been playing cards all day," said the guy. "Did you know there's a way to do tarot with Uno cards?"
"Hey, there's a way with Duel Monsters, so why not?" Ryou mumbled.
"Anyways, the pizzas ought to be done in about ten minutes or so. You're not in a hurry, ne?"
Jou shook his head. "For the Cinnasticks, we've got aaaaaaall day."
"And for the pizza and breadsticks and Cheesy Bread," Honda added with a nod.
"Pizzaaaaaaa," Jou sighed contentedly.
"Hey look, a pinball machine!" exclaimed Yugi, pointing to the left.
Jou and Mai grinned and turned to each other. "I could kick your ass at that with both flippers taken off," they said in unison.
"That was creepy," said Honda and Ryou at the same time.
"So was that," Anzu added, then looked around. "Hey, wasn't Yugi supposed to say that with me?"
"Nope, I'm busy lamenting," Yugi replied from the pinball machine. Everyone looked over at it, where he was quite easily resting his chin on the glass protecting the playing surface. "What did Double-D say that one time? 'Curse these short legs'?"
"Oh, I thought you were lamenting 'cause you're out of quarters or something," said Jou.
"That too, but it doesn't matter if I'm not tall enough to see where the ball is, now does it?" He had those cheesy anime tears running down his face.
"Maybe they've got a stepstool or something?" Mai suggested.
I could help.
Not a chance. You're still hyped from that sugar.
Not really. I can think rationally, so I must not be. He sighed. And besides, there's nothing else to do while we wait for the pizza to get done.
I have no way of knowing you're not just bluffing to get out. I'm not gonna fall for that.
I'm not bluffing. I'm serious.
"Yeah, sure," said the guy from behind the counter. "Hey, I've got an idea. If any of you guys can beat me at pinball -" here he hopped over the tabletop and grinned "– I'll throw in a free pizza, winner's choice of toppings."
The deal doesn't get any sweeter than this. Yami smirked inwardly. You know I'd be able to win this in a heartbeat, he said dangerously. So you might want to let me play before I let myself play…
Yugi twitched, but finally resolved he really didn't want another headache like the one from half-an-hour ago. A second later, Yami was standing there, smirking at the cashier. "I accept. And I want a 'Meat Lovers' pizza, sucker."
"My name's Chad, not 'sucker,'" said the cashier. "Besides, you're the sucker. I never – not to anyone – lose at pinball."
Yami smirked more, if that was possible at that point. "Neither do I."
"Actually, there was that one time when Jou beat you by kicking the machine hard enough to make it go Tilt in the middle of your turn," Honda said cautiously.
"Shut up and give me a quarter," Yami snapped, extending his hand. Honda pressed a quarter into it, and Yami pressed the quarter into the slot, pulled the plunger, and let the ball rip into the machine.
Fifteen minutes later…
Jou and Honda were still stuffing their faces with the everything-but-anchovies pizza. Ryou was contentedly munching on a piece of the extra-cheese. The girls were busy with breadsticks, and everybody, including Chad, was watching over one or the other of Yami's shoulders. Chad felt a bead of sweat run down his face. What the heck is this kid?! he thought to himself.
"This is amazing," Jou said after a swallow. "I have never seen anybody keep the first ball in play this long!"
"And I got sixteen extras," Yami added gravely. "I seem to be getting rusty. It's not everywhere you can find a real pinball machine anymore."
"SIXTEEN?!" exclaimed Chad.
"Yeah, terrible isn't it? I usually have at least twenty-three within fifteen minutes." He said it casually, like it was an everyday occurrence. Of course, if he went to arcades more often, it probably would have been.
Chad's mouth moved, but no words came out. Yami already had a score over two hundred million, and he was still on the first ball. The remaining two balls, plus the sixteen – oh, wait, now it was seventeen – extras he'd won, made nineteen more balls until his turn was over.
The pizza guy knew he was screwed. He prayed for a miracle.
"What should we do if I lose?" said Yami, out of the blue. "I mean, it's only fair that both of us should have stakes."
"What? Oh, um…" Chad thought for a second "… what about having to do that stack of Christmas Eve and Weekend dishes sitting in the kitchen?"
Yami nodded. "A gruesome and undesirable task. Very fitting. But you'd better add two orders of breadsticks to your end so it'll balance."
"I thought- oh, never mind. Deal," he sighed in resignation.
"Me likey the breadsticks."
Honda sighed. "Or maybe the sugar hasn't completely worn off after all…"
"Shut up."
"You owe me a quarter."
"I'll give you a couple of breadsticks."
"Deal."
Just then the bell rang at the door, around the corner a ways, and the little voice of the answer to Chad's aforementioned prayer piped up. "I never woulda thought Domino's was open on Christmas!"
Mai and Honda recognized it instantly, but reacted differently. Honda stiffened and bolted out the opposite door from where the voice was coming from. Mai turned her head toward it and raised one eyebrow. "Well, well. What a way to ruin a perfectly good holiday."
Ryou and Anzu didn't catch it right away. "What? What's wrong?" asked the former.
Mai ignored him, as so often happened, and tapped Yami on the shoulder instead. "Um, I think now would be a good time to let Chad use the pinball machine, Yugi…"
"Not a snowball's chance in hell," he replied. "I got it up to twenty extra balls. I might be able to pull a record out of this if I try hard enough."
"It's not that," she hissed.
Jou glanced at her face. "What is it then?"
"He's here!"
He blinked. "Michael Jackson?"
"Not Michael Jackson, you idiot – though I guess we'd still want to run from that – but I swear I heard Mokuba's voice, and you know who he never goes anywhere without…"
Yami twitched, and the ball fell effortlessly between the flippers. "You don't mean to say –"
"I do," Mai replied with a grim nod.
For a moment there was silence, then Yami stepped away from the machine and started talking in rapid-fire. "OkaythenChadhere'syourpinballmachineyoucanplaytherestoftheturnandthebet'sofffornowduetoextenuatingcircumstances!!" And without further comment, he and Jou broke into a run.
"What was that all about?" Ryou asked, raising one eyebrow.
Chad took the pinball machine. "Well, now he's set me up for an all-time high score and called off a bet I was losing, so my gratitude goes out to whoever scared him off like that!"
"You're welcome," said a voice they all knew very well, "but who, pray tell, might you be talking about?"
Mokuba had already run over to Anzu and was jumping up and down in his rush to talk to her. "Hey Anzu, you'd never believe how much fun we had in Canada! We went to Vancouver and Calgary and Montreal and Toronto and Nova Scotia and everywhere!! It was so cool! We shoulda had you come with!"
"OH NO." Anzu waved her hands defensively. "Don't think I haven't seen the pairings on FanFiction.net! It's always me and your brother, me and your brother. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO WAY!!"
Everyone stared at her, then Ryou spoke up. "If that wasn't breaking the fourth wall, I don't know what is."
"Back in canon, everybody," she replied as though nothing had happened.
Kaiba had just caught a glance of the score on the pinball machine and paled considerably. "How many extra balls do you have?!"
"Nineteen, now," said Chad, not looking up from his game, "but I didn't get 'em."
"Who did?"
"Do you really need to ask?" Mai muttered under her breath. Kaiba didn't hear her, chose to ignore her, or didn't yet know she was there.
"Oh, I dunno," Chad answered. "Some weird kid, lots of hair… come to think of it, did he get taller? AW, CRAP!" He had just lost his ball to the dreaded Space Between The Flippers. "Well, make that eighteen extra balls. Don't talk to me, okay? I'm concentrating," he added as he pulled back the plunger.
Kaiba's eyes widened, then narrowed again. "Finally… after two full months of searching, I've found him… and he's gonna pay."
"What for?" Ryou asked innocently. "From what I've picked up, something happened on Halloween, but nobody's told me exactly what. All they say is 'keep Yami away from sugar at all times' and all that."
"The little shit TP'd my house," Kaiba snapped before running out the opposite door.
Inside the restaurant, there was a pause, then Mai broke the awkward silence. "Wow. That's the first time I've been in a room and somebody didn't notice."
"You get used to it," Ryou sighed forlornly.
"I've got dibs on the pinball machine next," said Mokuba, raising one hand.
"Sorry, kiddo, I'm gonna be here a while," Chad replied.
"Well, now that Yami and Jou and Honda have gone and ditched, we've got some extra pizza and breadsticks," Anzu pointed out when she saw the dejected expression forming on the boy's face. "You can have some of theirs."
Mokuba grinned. "Domo arigatou!" he chirped before digging straight into the Cheesy Bread.
"Just don't get your fur all over the pizza," Mai chuckled.
Outside, in the streets, at that very moment…
"I think we lost him," Honda whispered. All three boys were hiding behind a dumpster in an alley not too far from the Domino's, but in such a way that from it, no one could see you, and from where you were, you couldn't see it.
This would prove to be both a blessing and a curse.
"I don't think so, but I sure hope we lost him," Yami groaned, sitting back against the alley wall.
See? Nothing good ever happens anymore when you're around.
Shut the hell up.
"Well, from there, there's just no way he could see us, right?" said Jou. "I mean, he's way over there, and we're way over here, and –" by now he had moved out from behind the dumpster a bit, and everyone was staring at him in wide-eyed shock. "What? You look like you've seen a ghost."
Then it dawned on him. "He's standing right behind me, isn't he?"
Honda nodded grimly.
The moment Yami had seen the trenchcoated silhouette behind his partner in crime, looking almost evil in the early afternoon sunlight, he took it as a cue to hide. Sorry about this, Yugi, but even I have a sense of self-preservation…
If Yugi hadn't been so incredibly scared at the moment, he would have been scowling. You know, it goes against my policy to accept apologies that contain the word "but".
This sudden change in his comrade was most of what tipped Jou off to the presence of his worst enemy behind him. He turned slowly around to face him. "Oh, hi there, Kaiba…"
"Merry Christmas, Fido," Kaiba replied seamlessly. "Now, whose idea was it to TP my house? As if I needed to ask."
Jou growled. "FIDO?!"
"Not I, said the fly," said Honda, scooting away from everyone and trying to make his way towards the exit.
"Not me, said the flea," Yugi added hastily, and followed Honda.
Kaiba waited and let Honda out of the alley, but stuck his foot out just in time to trip Yugi, whom he then snatched by the collar and hauled to his feet. "Well? What's the flea got to say for himself?"
Yugi gulped. Kaiba was well-known to be dangerous when he was mad. "Um… the flea says it was not his idea!!"
"Oh, yes, I'm sure it wasn't, little flea."
"No, I swear! It was all Yami's fault! He knocked me out and dragged me along for the ride!" he wailed.
"Really?" said Kaiba, as though this was all a big surprise, which it obviously wasn't. "Well, then, send him my Season's Greetings." With that, he clonked Yugi hard over the head and left him lying swirly-eyed in the snow. "Yep, looks like I've still got it," he sighed, and turned around –
Jou promptly hit him in the face with a Deep Dish pan. "Fido that, dumbass," he growled.
"Damnit," Kaiba mumbled with what little coherent thought he could muster in his rather incoherent state.
"What happened?" Anzu asked casually, her mouth half-full of Cinnastick, when Jou walked in with Yugi slung under one arm.
"We're okay," Jou assured her. "I don't think Kaiba's gonna be bugging us for a while –"
"You shouldn't have said that," Mai interrupted.
"What? Why?"
She pointed to where Mokuba had just bolted out the door yelling "Oniisan!" over and over. "Because his brother was in the room," she said simply. "Hang on a sec. I think the guy at the pinball machine is totally oblivious to our presence here, so find me some duct tape. I think we can be out of here within three minutes if we do this right…"
Six minutes later…
"You have any idea of how lucky we are that Kaiba's hard for a nine-year-old kid to drag across an icy parking lot?" Honda asked in annoyance as the gang piled into Mai's convertible.
"Screw that," Jou countered. "You have any idea how lucky we are that Yugi's tiny?"
"Screw that," Mai added. "You have any idea how much duct tape they had in the back room?"
(Oh, in case you were wondering, dearest reader, they hung a Deep Dish pan from the top of the door with a rope made out of duct tape so that as soon as Mokuba dragged Kaiba's sorry hide inside – well, there was a rather loud CLANG sound and both of the brothers were now unconscious. Chad hadn't noticed at all. He still had fifteen extra balls left.)
"I mean, why on earth would a Domino's need so much duct tape?" she continued, pulling out of the lot and pointing the car back in the direction of the game shop.
"Raises questions about the mushrooms, doesn't it?" said Ryou innocently.
"Raises questions about the anchovies," said Jou.
"Oh, shut up. I like anchovies."
Anzu didn't talk. Yugi had been crammed in the seat between her and Jou, still asleep, and he was leaning on her shoulder. Oh – until they hit a speed bump Mai hadn't been able to see under the snow, and his head fell into her lap. She flushed a faint shade of red, but hey, the kid was so cute when he was asleep that it seemed like it'd almost be a crime to wake him up.
She didn't get to see who took a picture, but decided whoever it was was a dead man.
After another ten minutes, they weren't much closer to getting back to Yugi's place, and that was when he woke up. For a second he had a desire to know where he was and what was this soft thing he was on, and then realized it was Anzu, and for a second he wanted to get off… but only a second. Apparently, Mai's heater was broken, and it was so very cold in the car, and Anzu was relatively warm. He pretended to still be asleep.
Ah, I was right. You can be devious when you put your mind to it.
Hey, as far as I can tell she's holding me like this on purpose…
Another twenty minutes brought them to a 7-11. Honda decided to speak up. "Uh, Mai? Why are we stopping here?"
"You'll see," she said, hopping out of the car. "Stay here, I'll be right back."
"I wonder what she's getting," Jou muttered.
"Maybe…" Honda turned to him and grinned. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"Probably not."
A minute or two later, Mai returned. Yugi, still feigning sleep, didn't see what happened, but heard a good "Oof!" out of Ryou and an excited squeal from Honda. "Oh yeah, I was right!"
"What is it?" said Jou, leaning forward over the seat. "Oh my God! Sweet! I love you, Mai!"
"Hey, it's the least I could do," Mai replied with a smile. "You guys have all been so nice."
"But a whole twelve-pack of Asahi?!" exclaimed Honda. "You've outdone yourself."
Yugi's eyes flew open, and he sat bolt upright, leaning desperately over the front seat between Mai and Ryou's heads. "ASAHI? But that's illegal! We're gonna get in so much –"
"You weren't sleeping?!" Anzu shouted.
"It doesn't matter! We're breaking the law here!"
Jou started humming a song that sounded suspiciously like "Goody Two Shoes."
What's the big deal? What's Asahi anyway?
It's a brand of beer, and it's not legal to sell beer to minors OR buy beer FOR minors!
There was a pause. Well, technically speaking, I –
I know you're old enough to have been mummified. That doesn't change anything; I'M still fourteen and if I've got you stuck in my body then that makes YOU fourteen, too.
Oh, fudge.
"Law, shmaw," Mai was saying. "Live a little, kiddo."
"Don't worry about it!" Jou added, patting him on the back. "It's not like we're gonna get caught."
A long pause ripped through the car, until Anzu broke it. "You realize, now, that just because you said that…"
Ryou had finally managed to catch his breath when he felt it. The Ring was digging into his skin again under the weight of the beer cans. That surprised him for only one reason.
He'd deliberately left it on the table at Yugi's house.
This Christmas was, very soon, going to get even more interesting. That is, if you find carnage interesting. "I agree… we're screwed…" he whispered.
"Well, I didn't say that," Yugi admitted. "We might be able to get out of this with our hides moderately intact if we just return it or hide it or gift-wrap it for Grandpa or something."
Ryou whispered something under his breath that, if the others had been able to hear it, would have made them nervous.
I'm holding a twelve-pack of Asahi, was Bakura's first happy revelation as he came to. Ryou shuddered, grateful they weren't back at Yugi's house yet, but it was only a matter of time.
It took quite a while to actually arrive at the house, but when they did everyone was glad to get out. It had been literally hell on earth trying to get a little V6 convertible through a six-foot snowdrift, and most everybody had gotten out to push for that one, but they'd made it.
Bakura, still hiding behind the convenient curtain that was Ryou, made his plans. The carnage was not far from birth.
Ryou knew what was coming and as soon as the driver's seat was vacated, he pushed the twelve-pack into it and practically fell out of the car on the other side. It was not forgotten, of course, and he hadn't really expected it to be; but at least it would put some distance between his yami and the dreaded beverage. However, he knew that if Bakura made up his mind as stalwartly as could be expected, that measure wouldn't be nearly enough. So he made his way over to Anzu and whispered something in her ear.
"REALLY?" said Anzu excitedly. "All right, then. You can count on me!" That last part was said with a decidedly evil grin.
Yami noticed it and sighed. I don't even want to know what they're up to.
Yugi lowered his eyes. "This is gonna be even worse than it already is if my mom gets home early," he said to no one in particular.
Jou laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "In this snow we could all be trapped at your house for weeks. She won't be back for a while."
"YOU GUYS all in MY HOUSE for WEEKS?" There was a short pause, then Yugi fainted dead in the snow at the very thought of the devastation that would accompany such a horrible scenario. The others shrugged and walked inside, though only Honda had the afterthought of dragging Short Man in and dumping him on the couch.
END CHAPTER 2 PART 2