Ok, if you've read chapter 1, you got most of the warnings. Further
warnings will pop up as more strange things occur. Such as the addition of
more yummy boyxboy couples and more ummm, me being myself. And as you've
noticed chapter breaks and change of POV run amok in my little world. Live
with it or go away (pouts) Wait, no, I want you to read my story ^_^
Chapter 2
Heero blinked at his surroundings, the entire base was gone, his gundam was gone, everything was gone. Well, not everything. His clothes were still there (fans: Boooooooo! Hisssss!) and there was some kind of ground that his still sneaker clad feet were standing on. Which must mean his mission was almost complete. One last thing was left. Self-destruction. Heero pulled out the nifty little gizmo that was supposed to make Heero splat out of him and was about to utter one of his famous lines before pushing the button when someone reached out and slapped him. Big mistake. With an 'Omae o korosu', Heero has whipped out the gun he hides Duo only knows where and pointed it at the offending slapper. It was a spiky haired blond guy in a red trench coat. "No, suicide is wrong!" Vash put on one of his most disarming faces, which would have worked on most other people. Not Heero, though. "I've completed my mission, lost my boyfriend, and now I'm supposed to blow up!" "Why?" Heero looked mildly confused, "B-because the author wants me to be in a suicide situation. That's why she went and killed Duo, the bitch!" Everyone's favorite Spandex Wearing Psycho Boy raised the detonator again, only to have it yoinked out of his hand by the much taller sharpshooter. "I said no. And anyways; your mission isn't over yet." Heero, who was vainly trying to unjam his suddenly jammed up gun, looked up. "Nani?" Vash gave the odd little boy (as seen in Vash-Vision [tm]) a smile, "Y'see, the big guy upstairs lost his realm due to a hostile takeover by the Que—I mean, the Prince of Darkness and everyone since then has been sent to Hell, good or bad." Heero glared for all he was worth at the nut job and crossed his arms. "And this concerns me, how?" The author groaned and picked Yuy up by his tank top. "Look here my yummy little pilot. As much as I like you, you need to just accept this mission, go to Hell, and kill Satan. Ok? Be good and I may let you have your way with Duo later on." After dropping Heero the story resumes. "Dammit, are all fan fic authors like her?" The Humanoid Typhoon just shrugged, "Beats me. Now get going." Heero sighed, "Ninmu ryokai." Thus letting the author have her own way and getting on with the fic.
The trip to the front gates of Hell was completely uneventful. Hence the reason it has been left out, no one wants to read boring junk like that. Heero looked at the clearing in front of the gates, it was full of people. More precisely, it was full of Britney Spears fans. The width and breadth of America and other countries her music has brainwashed. All seemed to be in excruciating pain. Good. Though Heero wondered what was playing through the headphones clamped to their ears to cause it. "They're eternally damned to listen to Polka." A familiar figure was standing not too far behind Heero. "Wufei? Why are you in Hell?" The Chinese pilot in his shiny white clothes blinked in mild surprise. "Umm...Oh yes, I am supposed to be your guide because the weak onna of an author can't just let you go by yourself." Leading the slightly befuddled, spandex clad Japanese pilot to the doors, Wufei stopped to the side of the huge gates. Above the expected 'Abandon all hope ye that enter here', scrawled in less than perfect handwriting, was about fifty different little limericks and poems, each one scratched out as the writer got frustrated, thus leaving the traditional quote and lots of scribbly crap. Wu-man pushed open a small side-door; revealing the full on, vomit inducing, mind searing pinkness of Hell. Heero reflexively pulled out his gun, firing several rounds into the offending landscape before gaining control of himself. He looked over at Wu- wu Justice Boy who just watched with an amused smirk, which he quickly wiped from his face. "Come on, Heero. It's a long way to Hell for Mad Scientists and Other Useful Characters The Author Couldn't Find a Place For." Wufei gasped for breath. "So we'd better get going." Heero twitched an eyebrow, "Why?" "Because you'll need all the help you can get to defeat Satan. And you want to see Duo, don't you?" "Duo's in Hell?"
Duo grumbled; his feet were all but falling asleep as he stood in line waiting his turn for...whatever the line was for. As D was dragged off by the sadistic skirted demons, Duo got his first look at what he was in line for. It looked like court. Yuck. Looking over the judges, Duo was only slightly surprised by who he saw. One person had a badge on his/her/it's chest that said 'Censor', next to the censor was a Telletubbie (no one gives a whooping funt which one it was), on the censor's other side was yet another charactery type person no one gave a damn about but looked like it would be annoying as...well, here. "Duo Maxwell!" The censor banged a big squeaky gavelly type thingie. "You are here to be sentenced for your crimes against humanity!" The Telletubbie stood, holding up a long sheet of paper. "Crime one, being gay. Crime two, using all kinds of naughty language. Um...crime...three..." The Telletubbie squinted at the paper, "Who spilled coffee on this thing? I can't read it!" And here the author once again gets out of having to think any more. The thing on the other end of the table stood, "Never mind," it said in a very Billy Joe Bob sort of voice, "This here homersexual needs to have the book thrown at him." Duo, who during the proceedings had built a life size paperclip statue of Heero (anatomically correct, of course) looked up. "What? What does any of that have to do with anything?" He ducked as a large book came flying at him, just missing hitting Duo in the head and clipping the Heero statue. "Did that have to happen? And why am I asking so many questions? Argh, there I go again!" Picking up the paperclip Heero, Duo smashed in the censor's head with it. And everyone was happy, except the Telletubbie and thingiemajigger. They were mad and decided to have some of the ever-present girly demons cart our loudmouthed, braid having, black clad, violet eyed and all that jazz boy off into the pinkness that awaited him.
'Ok, if I see anymore pink I'm gonna gouge my eyes out.' Duo grumped mentally as he dangled from the grasp of the two demons. Throughout the trip over the pink landscape he had watched other anime characters getting all kinds of cruel treatment. But on an up note, he also saw people who actually should be there getting what they deserved. "My arms hurt! Are we there yet?" The demon holding his left arm twitched slightly. This was the thousandth time Duo had asked. Looking over at its companion it mouthed 'Drop him?'. The other demon nodded and they let go of Duo's arms at almost the same time. Totally unprepared for this, Braided Baka Bum Bum Boy didn't land on his feet or his bum but on his head. Slapping a big bandage that he got from nowhere on his head Duo turned to the author, "You know, I'm tired of you dropping me every where. Why don't you go see what Heero's doing before you throw me off a cliff or something?" He sniffled and put on the whole dewy eyed, don't you like me any more kind of face. "Ok, I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you later in the story. Don't get into trouble while I'm gone."
So, leaving Duo to his own devices, we check in on Heero and Wufei. We find our boys wandering towards a big, slimy, pinkish tinged river. It looked like melted lipstick. Even the author is having a hard time holding in the contents of her stomach at the sight of it. Floating near the bank was a pink punt complete with pink punk poling pole. Wufei looked at it for a moment then, remembering his lines, shouted, "Injustice onna! I am not poling Yuy around Hell on a pink punt!" Heero watched Wufei rant and then, quite suddenly, one of Wu's eyebrows split. Realizing the odd look Heero was giving him, he reached up, felt the mightily forked eyebrow, wet a finger, and smoothed it back down. Gun drawn yet again, Mr. Omae o Korosu put on his trademarked glare. "Who are you?" "Geeze Heero, it's me, Wufei. Weak minded moron who's going senile." He crossed his arms and looked pointedly at the author, "And I refuse to pole around a pink boat!" The author, looking rather peeved at all of this, grabbed a box labeled 'random filler characters' and pulled out one. "Ok, then. You get to be poled around Hell by (tadaa) Jaken!" And she set the toady little demon henchman on the bank. "Now be happy or I'll have to take drastic measures." "What drastic measures?" The author grinned wickedly, "I can turn that little question mark up in the 5x? to Jaken." Wufei gulped and looked at the toady thing, "No!" "Good. Have fun now." Now that the author has finished interfering with everything, we continue. Jaken climbed onto the punt and grabbed the pink pole with distaste. Heero distinctly heard toady thing mutter under it's breath, "Sesshoumaru-sama would never make me do this, the boat was NEVER pink! Maybe a bit fluffy, but never pink!" All safely loaded in the icky boat, our boys gave each other an odd look as Jaken turned to the camera with big teary eyes, "Where are you Sesshoumaru- sama?!"
Chapter 2
Heero blinked at his surroundings, the entire base was gone, his gundam was gone, everything was gone. Well, not everything. His clothes were still there (fans: Boooooooo! Hisssss!) and there was some kind of ground that his still sneaker clad feet were standing on. Which must mean his mission was almost complete. One last thing was left. Self-destruction. Heero pulled out the nifty little gizmo that was supposed to make Heero splat out of him and was about to utter one of his famous lines before pushing the button when someone reached out and slapped him. Big mistake. With an 'Omae o korosu', Heero has whipped out the gun he hides Duo only knows where and pointed it at the offending slapper. It was a spiky haired blond guy in a red trench coat. "No, suicide is wrong!" Vash put on one of his most disarming faces, which would have worked on most other people. Not Heero, though. "I've completed my mission, lost my boyfriend, and now I'm supposed to blow up!" "Why?" Heero looked mildly confused, "B-because the author wants me to be in a suicide situation. That's why she went and killed Duo, the bitch!" Everyone's favorite Spandex Wearing Psycho Boy raised the detonator again, only to have it yoinked out of his hand by the much taller sharpshooter. "I said no. And anyways; your mission isn't over yet." Heero, who was vainly trying to unjam his suddenly jammed up gun, looked up. "Nani?" Vash gave the odd little boy (as seen in Vash-Vision [tm]) a smile, "Y'see, the big guy upstairs lost his realm due to a hostile takeover by the Que—I mean, the Prince of Darkness and everyone since then has been sent to Hell, good or bad." Heero glared for all he was worth at the nut job and crossed his arms. "And this concerns me, how?" The author groaned and picked Yuy up by his tank top. "Look here my yummy little pilot. As much as I like you, you need to just accept this mission, go to Hell, and kill Satan. Ok? Be good and I may let you have your way with Duo later on." After dropping Heero the story resumes. "Dammit, are all fan fic authors like her?" The Humanoid Typhoon just shrugged, "Beats me. Now get going." Heero sighed, "Ninmu ryokai." Thus letting the author have her own way and getting on with the fic.
The trip to the front gates of Hell was completely uneventful. Hence the reason it has been left out, no one wants to read boring junk like that. Heero looked at the clearing in front of the gates, it was full of people. More precisely, it was full of Britney Spears fans. The width and breadth of America and other countries her music has brainwashed. All seemed to be in excruciating pain. Good. Though Heero wondered what was playing through the headphones clamped to their ears to cause it. "They're eternally damned to listen to Polka." A familiar figure was standing not too far behind Heero. "Wufei? Why are you in Hell?" The Chinese pilot in his shiny white clothes blinked in mild surprise. "Umm...Oh yes, I am supposed to be your guide because the weak onna of an author can't just let you go by yourself." Leading the slightly befuddled, spandex clad Japanese pilot to the doors, Wufei stopped to the side of the huge gates. Above the expected 'Abandon all hope ye that enter here', scrawled in less than perfect handwriting, was about fifty different little limericks and poems, each one scratched out as the writer got frustrated, thus leaving the traditional quote and lots of scribbly crap. Wu-man pushed open a small side-door; revealing the full on, vomit inducing, mind searing pinkness of Hell. Heero reflexively pulled out his gun, firing several rounds into the offending landscape before gaining control of himself. He looked over at Wu- wu Justice Boy who just watched with an amused smirk, which he quickly wiped from his face. "Come on, Heero. It's a long way to Hell for Mad Scientists and Other Useful Characters The Author Couldn't Find a Place For." Wufei gasped for breath. "So we'd better get going." Heero twitched an eyebrow, "Why?" "Because you'll need all the help you can get to defeat Satan. And you want to see Duo, don't you?" "Duo's in Hell?"
Duo grumbled; his feet were all but falling asleep as he stood in line waiting his turn for...whatever the line was for. As D was dragged off by the sadistic skirted demons, Duo got his first look at what he was in line for. It looked like court. Yuck. Looking over the judges, Duo was only slightly surprised by who he saw. One person had a badge on his/her/it's chest that said 'Censor', next to the censor was a Telletubbie (no one gives a whooping funt which one it was), on the censor's other side was yet another charactery type person no one gave a damn about but looked like it would be annoying as...well, here. "Duo Maxwell!" The censor banged a big squeaky gavelly type thingie. "You are here to be sentenced for your crimes against humanity!" The Telletubbie stood, holding up a long sheet of paper. "Crime one, being gay. Crime two, using all kinds of naughty language. Um...crime...three..." The Telletubbie squinted at the paper, "Who spilled coffee on this thing? I can't read it!" And here the author once again gets out of having to think any more. The thing on the other end of the table stood, "Never mind," it said in a very Billy Joe Bob sort of voice, "This here homersexual needs to have the book thrown at him." Duo, who during the proceedings had built a life size paperclip statue of Heero (anatomically correct, of course) looked up. "What? What does any of that have to do with anything?" He ducked as a large book came flying at him, just missing hitting Duo in the head and clipping the Heero statue. "Did that have to happen? And why am I asking so many questions? Argh, there I go again!" Picking up the paperclip Heero, Duo smashed in the censor's head with it. And everyone was happy, except the Telletubbie and thingiemajigger. They were mad and decided to have some of the ever-present girly demons cart our loudmouthed, braid having, black clad, violet eyed and all that jazz boy off into the pinkness that awaited him.
'Ok, if I see anymore pink I'm gonna gouge my eyes out.' Duo grumped mentally as he dangled from the grasp of the two demons. Throughout the trip over the pink landscape he had watched other anime characters getting all kinds of cruel treatment. But on an up note, he also saw people who actually should be there getting what they deserved. "My arms hurt! Are we there yet?" The demon holding his left arm twitched slightly. This was the thousandth time Duo had asked. Looking over at its companion it mouthed 'Drop him?'. The other demon nodded and they let go of Duo's arms at almost the same time. Totally unprepared for this, Braided Baka Bum Bum Boy didn't land on his feet or his bum but on his head. Slapping a big bandage that he got from nowhere on his head Duo turned to the author, "You know, I'm tired of you dropping me every where. Why don't you go see what Heero's doing before you throw me off a cliff or something?" He sniffled and put on the whole dewy eyed, don't you like me any more kind of face. "Ok, I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you later in the story. Don't get into trouble while I'm gone."
So, leaving Duo to his own devices, we check in on Heero and Wufei. We find our boys wandering towards a big, slimy, pinkish tinged river. It looked like melted lipstick. Even the author is having a hard time holding in the contents of her stomach at the sight of it. Floating near the bank was a pink punt complete with pink punk poling pole. Wufei looked at it for a moment then, remembering his lines, shouted, "Injustice onna! I am not poling Yuy around Hell on a pink punt!" Heero watched Wufei rant and then, quite suddenly, one of Wu's eyebrows split. Realizing the odd look Heero was giving him, he reached up, felt the mightily forked eyebrow, wet a finger, and smoothed it back down. Gun drawn yet again, Mr. Omae o Korosu put on his trademarked glare. "Who are you?" "Geeze Heero, it's me, Wufei. Weak minded moron who's going senile." He crossed his arms and looked pointedly at the author, "And I refuse to pole around a pink boat!" The author, looking rather peeved at all of this, grabbed a box labeled 'random filler characters' and pulled out one. "Ok, then. You get to be poled around Hell by (tadaa) Jaken!" And she set the toady little demon henchman on the bank. "Now be happy or I'll have to take drastic measures." "What drastic measures?" The author grinned wickedly, "I can turn that little question mark up in the 5x? to Jaken." Wufei gulped and looked at the toady thing, "No!" "Good. Have fun now." Now that the author has finished interfering with everything, we continue. Jaken climbed onto the punt and grabbed the pink pole with distaste. Heero distinctly heard toady thing mutter under it's breath, "Sesshoumaru-sama would never make me do this, the boat was NEVER pink! Maybe a bit fluffy, but never pink!" All safely loaded in the icky boat, our boys gave each other an odd look as Jaken turned to the camera with big teary eyes, "Where are you Sesshoumaru- sama?!"