Disclaimer: The Rating of this Fan-Fiction has been raised to R for: Violence, Strong Language, Nudity, and Adult Content. Children under the age of 17 must be accompanied by parents, bring a fake ID, or bribe the Authoress with Fruity Pebbles and Hentai.









Confessions of a Dangerous Hairstyle:

A Ruroni Kenshin Fan-Fiction

by

C M Forde











The sun glared through the open window and Sano groaned out loud, closed eyes squinting and a hand moving to block out the light. God, who the hell hit him with a sledge hammer last night? His head was throbbing horribly, and the blaring ass sun was not helping it in the least. "Somebody get the light..." And after a few seconds he realized that no one was going to turn off the sun, and he rolled over onto his other side so he didn't have to face the window. The soft and very feminine squeak that resulted from this action startled his senses and he tried to open his eyes, but they weren't having any of it. So he had to settle with blind groping. There was a thigh, hip, waist, ribs, breast... His hand lingered there for a while, though unlike his eyes this was of his own free will. Collar bone, shoulder, neck, cheek, ear, hair. As he suspected he was laying next to a naked woman. His hand went back down to the breast and gave it an investigative squeeze, which was rewarded with a gasping intake of air from the woman.

Sano paused to think. Ok, about a handful, soft, pretty perky. He went over known breasts in his mind. Megumi, it could be hers, seemed about right, but he was pretty sure hers were larger. Yes, he was very sure that hers were larger, probably not as perky either, though he was going to bet much softer. Right, so this wasn't Megumi, that left Misao. Good old Misao, she had finally given in to his wit and charm just like he had always predicted. No... Wait. Misao's were smaller than this, he was quite sure of that fact, having snuck peaks at them for a good couple months now. Well this was definitely an odd situation. It wasn't Megumi, and it wasn't Misao. So who did this breast belong to?

"Mmm, Kenshin. I like it right there."

This forced his eyes open with a rapidity that had proven quite impossible a few moments before. And he found himself staring into a very recognizable face, a pretty one to be sure, but not one he had ever expected to wake up to in the morning. His act of surprise tightened his hand, which brought the woman awake. Karou was an excellent screamer.

"Owww! Jesus God dammit my head!" The screams of an underage girl finding herself in bed naked with her best friend's boyfriend groping her was not good for hangovers. Sano grasped at his forehead as he was tossed forcibly away from the screaming madwoman, which he wouldn't have minded if he hadn't landed on top of another. Misao had apparently been a student at the Kamiya school of scream. This time Sano was pushed backwards onto his knees, the momentum of it causing him to fall back into the wall and stay there in a half reclining position while his head tried to cope with all the random confusion going about the small bedroom. Then his face caught a pillow, followed by a shoe, followed by a bowling trophy. Now he had been relatively sure that there had not been a bowling trophy in the room before this incident, but after much experience he had a theory that viciously heavy projectile weaponry magically materialized in the hands of surprised nude women through sheer force of willpower.

This left the scene as follows, Sano holding his head and groaning, leaning against the far wall with a bowling trophy, a shoe and a pillow lying scattered about him. There was one pallet on the floor and Karou was in it, wearing nothing but an angry look and holding the blanket up to cover herself while continuing to glare at Sano's heavily injured form. Misao, also nude, was on the floor leaning back, apparently not yet having noticed that her clothes had been lost somewhere in the night, and seemed half horrified half angry with the current situation, fully prepared to materialize a sturdy rolling pin to throw at Sano.

Then all three of them, at the exact same time, though in different tones; Sano being confused, Karou being angry and Misao being frightened, said, "What the hell happened last night?!"

As if by divine intervention, Megumi opened the door to the room, "Wake up Rooster Head, there are some guests that want to talk to you." She paused for a moment, taking in the scene before her, then turned her head to look at Sano. A smile curled at the end of her lips and Sano was suddenly highly aware of the fact that like the girls, he too was wearing no clothes. "Hurry up Tiny, we don't have all day."

After Megumi closed the door there was a long moment of silence, that Sano finally broke, "So... Umm... Where are our clothes exactly?"



As Sano stepped out into the courtyard, he pulled his jacket over his shoulders, wincing slightly and pulling a staple out of the sleeve. He was going to be picking those out for a while. Why couldn't they, in their drunken stupor, have duct taped their clothes onto the ceiling instead of stapling them, it would've been much easier to fix. Aoshi was already there, Megumi at his side like the loyal fiancee she was, but they weren't the only ones in the courtyard.

Standing in the morning sun, which was still giving Sano a headache, was a balding man with sharp features that gave the distinct impression that he would bite off any limbs that came too near his mouth. Next to him was a woman that gave Sano pause, if for no reason other than the fact that a person could hide a half kilo of cocaine in her cleavage. Though that would be a bad idea, as no customs officer on the planet would let go a chance to frisk that hiding spot. And finally, standing at the forefront, was a man that seemed to draw all attention towards himself. He was tall, taller even than Sano himself, and what skin was visible was black and scarred. Most of him though, couldn't be spied, for he was covered from head to toe in white bandages, leaving only his eyes and mouth to be seen.

Misao stepped up next to Sano, "Who's the Egyptian?"

He shrugged, and then turned his attention towards the Oniwabanshu's master as Aoshi spoke, "Sagara Sanosuke, these people have been looking for you."

"Oh? Have they?"

The weasely faced man stepped forward, "Yes Sagara, we have." The man straightened the neck of his silken purple shirt and ran a hand back through his hair, or at least what was left of it. "I am Sadojima Hoji, of the Juppon Gatana."

Karou came out of nowhere and Sano barely caught her arm and pulled her back towards him, "You! You're the ones that kidnaped Kenshin!" She fought back against Sano's grip, but Misao took her other arm and eventually they were able to calm her enough to allow Sano to give the man an evil glare.

"What did you do with Kenshin?"

Hoji snorted, flicking a bit of sweat from his brow, "I don't owe you any answers. If you want your little friend back you'll have to do as we say."

Sano's hands tightened into fists, "Listen here you little ugly freak. I don't take orders from anybody. So how about I just pound you into the ground right now and then you tell me what I want to know?"

Hoji huffed and puffed, but the man in the bandages placed his hand on the other's chest, "Let me handle this Hoji." The smaller of the two nodded and took a step back as the other man walked towards Sano, towering a head taller than him, arms crossed over his chest. "My name is Makoto Shishio, maybe you've heard of me? I was a very famous stylist in the salon wars, but that doesn't matter now. You see, we took Kenshin because we're always looking for good stylists, and we figured this would be a good was to get your attention."

"Oh, it's attention you want Mummy Man? Well how about this?" Sano's fist came flying through the air at Shishio's face in a blow that would've knocked the man's head off if it had connected. Unfortunately though, it didn't, it was caught mid-swing by the taller man, who grinned and then brought his knee slamming into Sano's gut. He groaned and pitched forward, unable to breathe.

Shishio just smiled, especially at Karou, who seemed torn between rushing to help Sano and running for her life. As Shishio moved back towards his entourage, Hoji spoke again, "My master wishes to see you this afternoon, at the Mugenshi Salon downtown. Three O'clock, don't be late, or your friend Kenshin won't live to see the sunrise."

When the three turned to leave, they found Aoshi in their way, the quiet man's eyes emotionless, "I don't appreciate violence on my property."

The woman with the Juppon Gatana sighed, "Go play your macho games somewhere else. We've got places to be."

Aoshi didn't answer, he just glared icicles at the man in the bandages, who once again took the lead, "Hold on Yumi, I believe we're in the presence of a celebrity. Shinomori Aoshi isn't it? You're supposed to be very good, I've heard tell you're as good as Battousai himself. Is that true?"

Aoshi didn't answer, he just stepped aside, letting the Juppon Gatana leave the compound, then he turned to Sano, who was finally getting to his feet. "Well Sagara, it looks like I'll be helping you after all."

Sano growled something under his breath and stood up, that damned bandaged butt fuck had a hell of a kick on him. "That asshole's mine. You can take the ugly little guy."

Misao rested her hand on Sano's shoulder and looked at Aoshi, "Why are you deciding to help us all of a sudden anyway?"

Aoshi didn't answer, he just turned to Megumi, "Come on, we have to get ready for later. I don't plan on being late." She nodded and the two of them returned inside, leaving Sano to stare towards the gate, the direction the Juppon Gatana had left.

"Sano, do you know who that was?"

He turned to Karou, "Who, the burn ward reject?"

She nodded, "That was Makoto Shishio, he's supposed to be the greatest stylist that's ever lived. It's said that during the salon wars ten years ago he styled the hair of ten thousand men. Some people even say that he was better than Battousai himself."

Sano glanced over his shoulder again, then back at her, "Yeah, well what's with those stupid bandages?"

She frowned, holding herself tightly, almost shivering, "Near the end of the Salon Wars, when it was all coming to a close, he wouldn't stop. He was trying to overthrow the new stylists all on his own and become the sole ruler of the Salons in Japan. He was unbeatable, and it looked like he was going to succeed, so during one of the duels, while Shishio was using some very volatile hair spray, the stylist sacrificed himself by throwing a match into the stream. The whole salon went up in a blaze, everyone thought Shishio had died."

Misao put her hands on her hips, "You think that's the guy?"

Karou shrugged, "I don't know, but if he is then we're going to need more help than just Aoshi."

Sano nodded, "Yeah, but where are we going to get that?"

And then from behind them, a voice as cold as steel echoed across the courtyard, "Ahou..."









___________

Author's Note: The Ten Scissors of The Juppon Gatana have arrived in the form of Makoto Shishio, Sadojima Hoji and Komagata Yumi. Do our heros have the power to defeat such powerful foes as Shishio, the stylist of ten thousand hairs? What is happening to poor Kenshin? Will the mysterious voice be a friend or foe? What the hell happened last night?!?!?! These questions may or may not be answered later!!! Find out in Episode Eight: Fire and Ice!!!