Disclaimer: Naruto and all characters are the property of Kishimoto-sensei.
Blinded
It was fast approaching summer, and the sun was getting too strong. Pretty soon he would have to retreat under a tree, where he could still continue his daily cloud-watching from the shade of the umbrageous leafy green. For now though, he could still enjoy his position in the middle of the meadow where the grass rose long and thick around him, obscuring his peripheral vision and concentrating his gaze on the far-reaching planes of the azure sky. The sun centred in the cusp of blue…it was so distant, and yet so close, just a glowing yellow ball lying between the folds of velvet white. He felt like he could reach and close his fingers around it, if only he could see it clearly, but the light was too blinding, and his eyes retreated back to the mellow effulgence of the sky.
Shikamaru lay on his back, gazing lazily at the passing clouds. The intermittent blows of wind ruffled through the trees and meadow, long stems of grass tickling his neck. He closed his eyes, revelling in the luxurious feel of the glossy green stems, cool and slick under his body, and the soft soughing of wind in the trees intermingling with the sound of twittering birds. There's a chidori for you, Shikamaru thought, his lips curling into a half smile.
He shifted his cramping arms to a more comfortable position pillowing the back of his head, savouring his moment of peace. No one bothering him, troublesome thoughts that didn't seem like him plaguing his mind like a festering worm. No, for now it was just him, the sky above and the serenity casting its uplifting shrouds around him...
"Shikamaru--!"
...and Ino.
Shikamaru opened his eyes slowly, only to have his vision completely blocked by a pair of luminous blue orbs. Oh wait, they were eyes.
"Boo!" Ino said cheerfully, her breath dusting the tip of Shikamaru's lips.
If Shikamaru had half the energy of Naruto, he would have head-butted Ino to the moon in shock. Being who he was, however, he merely exhaled very, very slowly. Ino pulled away, satisfied she had got Shikamaru's attention.
"What do you want, Ino?" he asked tiredly.
"You," she said, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.
Shikamaru stared at her dully.
"To talk to you. Be a bit more interesting, won't you!" Ino exclaimed.
"Glad to be of service," the brunette said wryly, transferring his attention back to the sky. He really did not want to think right now.
"I'm bored!" Ino whined, pushing and pulling at his arm so that his vision wobbled painfully. "Talk to me!"
He ignored her. Nara Shikamaru had some pride, and he did not appreciate being a last resort.
Finally giving up, Ino made a disgruntled noise and flopped down onto the ground. "Are the clouds really so much more interesting than me?" she pouted, squinting up into the blinding glare of the sky. How could he stand doing this all day? The sun was so bright she couldn't even focus on its position.
"Do you really want me to answer that?" Shikamaru asked with a raised eyebrow.
"No," Ino replied quickly. "I really do not need to hear how I lose out to mere molecules of water."
"Good choice," Shikamaru said, frowning. He was starting to get a headache. He wished Ino would go away.
Ino, however, didn't appear particularly attuned to Shikamaru's inner grumblings, and was settling down happily beside him. Her eyes had become accustomed to the sun's glare and she removed the hand shielding her eyes, nestling it under her head in an imitation of Shikamaru. It was extraordinarily peaceful lying there in the meadow, and Ino felt her muscles slowly relax into the cosy buoyancy of the grass. So this is life as Shikamaru, she mused. How different it must be from Sasuke's. It was quite pleasant, really. She could live like this.
She turned to look at Shikamaru, noting the frown on his face. Did he have a headache?
"Hey, Shikamaru," Ino asked in concern.
"What?" He tilted his face towards her, annoyance visibly emanating from every crinkled line on his face.
Words of good will died on her lips. Well, he could be more subtle, she thought waspishly, her familiar sadistic streak rising with her ire.
"Guess what?"
An evil grin played around Ino's lips, and Shikamaru immediately wished he could take back every single crease on his forehead. He would have to tread carefully in order to diffuse Ino's anger.
"I don't want to."
Damn, where had that come from? He attempted to smooth out his expression, hoping for mercy.
It never came.
"Do you know what kind of guy I like?" Ino asked innocently, a wicked look on her face.
Shikamaru cringed inwardly. Not again. "I already know who you like," he said quickly. It showed the measure of his desperation that Shikamaru, a genius of IQ surpassing 200, attempted to use such a half-baked measure to divert Ino. Obviously, it didn't work.
"I like a guy who is cool. He is unfriendly and reclusive at first sight, but he looks after his own and will never let his comrades down. He won't shirk his responsibilities and takes charge when necessity calls him to. He is a strong and intelligent fighter and always keeps his cool demeanour even in the worst adversities. He has opal eyes that glitter with icy coolness, raven black hair stylishly messy, and an adorable scowl perpetually plastered to his face."
Ino sighed dreamily at the end of her lengthy speech to add weight to her words.
"In other words, you like Sasuke." Shikamaru's sigh was of a different quality from Ino's.
"You got it!" Ino punched the air jubilantly, watching the glowing outline of her first as it blocked out the sun. She retracted her hand and shifted so she was lying curled on her side and facing him.
"So tell me, what kind of girl do you like?" Ino asked, smiling sweetly.
Shikamaru sighed again, this time more extensively. He closed his eyes, concentrating on banishing all thoughts from his mind. "But it's so troublesome…"
"Tell. Me." Ino said threateningly. "I bared my soul to you only a moment ago."
Shikamaru considered telling her that everyone knew about her crush on Sasuke, but decided that engaging in an argument with her would be even more troublesome. She was incredibly headstrong at times.
"So?" Ino prodded.
Shikamaru considered. Think carefully, he ordered himself. "I like a girl…" he paused, looking into Ino's expectant eyes, feeling all intelligent words escape the half-hearted clutches of his brain.
He couldn't stop the thoughts this time. The bothersome thoughts were back to disturb him, the thoughts that haunted him whenever he was near Ino, and even when he wasn't. How beautiful she seemed, with her eyes always opalescent with enthusiasm, her cheeks glowing faintly pink with energy, the way her eyes crinkled up at the sides with her large, flamboyant grins. How he, typically so nonchalant and unruffled, didn't feel quite so calm around her, his brain short-circuiting, words coming out too blasé, palms feeling just a bit too slippery.
The thoughts streamed recklessly through his mind now, bypassing his wall of solid logic and consuming him in a maelstrom of painful emotions. How Ino was used to being the axis and how Shikamaru found himself inexplicably revolving around her, drawn unwillingly to her vigour and liveliness. The irrational convictions made to himself to protect her at all costs, how he'd started detesting Sasuke without logical reason, how his heart swelled when she came to look for him, like now, even if he was the last choice. All these niggling thoughts that crashed at his head day in and day out, pointing him in the conclusion he refused to heed, the conclusion that he liked -
"Yes, yes?" Ino said impatiently, and Shikamaru blinked hard, forcing himself to stay on track. He knew what to do.
"I like a girl who is full of good-will, and cares for the people around her. She knows what she wants and she goes for it with sincerity. She may not be the strongest fighter, but she is astute and resourceful, and is a determined tactician. She is cute and cheerful and somehow infects those around her with similar energy."
He paused for breath, seeing Ino nod sagely, and he guessed she was mentally canvassing all the girls she knew who could fit that description. He found himself focussing on Ino's eyes, wondering, as he did once in a while, how she could keep her eyes so wide opened and iridescent with interest in the world, softening plain eyes to a baby blue he could see the sky in.
She has blue eyes.
"She has green eyes."
He stared at the lock of blonde hair that curled possessively along the curve of her face. He pondered briefly what it'd be like to undo her bun and run his fingers through her almond-gold hair, so mellow and inviting.
She has blond hair.
"She has pink hair."
He thought about his fingers tracing her smooth, milk-white cheek, across the soft, rose-pink lips…
"She's got a crush on someone who doesn't even acknowledge her existence, so she doesn't realise there's someone waiting for her in the background, she doesn't realise there's someone else who loves her. I love…"
"Whoa," Ino breathed.
...you, Ino.
Shikamaru froze. He had almost said it.
"Whoa," Ino repeated softly. "Sakura's one lucky girl."
Shikamaru smiled softly.
Ino turned onto her back again, gazing up once more at the clouds.
She felt shaken. To have Shikamaru feel that strongly for Sakura...for anyone... He was always so indifferent to everything. She felt...no, she wouldn't think it. Definitely not. She'd already put all those thoughts out of her mind when she decided she liked Sasuke, the heartthrob of the village, just like everyone else.
Yet, those thoughts came back now; unwanted and unbidden. A young, rotund face, but with the familiar spiky hair and half-lidded eyes, the same bored expression on his face, choosing to go home to sleep rather than play with her.
All those childish heartbreaks, the reason why she chose to chase after the unattainable dream, because she would never hope and never be crushed.
Even so, she'd come to think of Shikamaru as hers after they'd been in the same team for so long. It'd been him she went to to moan and whine and have their trivial disagreements, had come to rely on with his easy-going leadership and strategising, had come to respect with his laid-back intelligence.
She'd convinced herself it was only friendship, but now with this revelation, no, now nothing. She didn't feel anything, she couldn't; she liked Sasuke. If Shikamaru liked Sakura, good for him.
"Why don't you tell her your feelings?" Ino asked quietly.
Shikamaru shrugged. He felt too drained to bother answering. They lapsed into silence, both staring unseeing at the hazy wisps of clouds drifting idly across the cerulean incandescence.
Both convincing themselves of a lie that defined their lives.
Gradually the sky dimmed and streaks of intense plum and scarlet painted the sky in wild, artistic strokes, signalling the arrival of twilight.
"Ino," Shikamaru murmured, sitting up. "It's time to..."
He stopped as he saw that she was lying still, her mouth open and chest heaving in rhythmic slumber. She looked adorable asleep, he thought, pushing stray strands of flaxen hair out of her face. She really must be lazier than him to fall asleep just resting in the meadow, he reflected in some bemusement.
Ino murmured something incoherent in her sleep, nestling her cheek against Shikamaru's hand. He froze and pulled his arm back quickly, the question that had been teasing him torturously since it had been asked by an unusually subdued voice once more rising to his mind.
Why don't you tell her your feelings?
A wistful smile ghosted his face.
"It's too troublesome to love," he whispered, placing a chaste kiss on Ino's forehead.
Then, muttering under his breath about how much trouble Ino was, he lifted her carefully onto his back, and satisfied that she was still fitfully asleep, begun the walk to her home.
As dusk continued its lonely march towards night, the world dipped into hazy monochrome, and the sky gradually lost its lustre. However, the glare of fear and insecurity was still too strong in the eyes of the two teenagers, and the last rays of sunlight lit up the backs of two who were blinded, one by desperate obsession and another by comforting apathy.
They were too blinded to see love.
-owari-
Some subtle (maybe way too subtle) meanings underlying certain text:
- Did you notice that Ino's description of Sasuke (besides the physical description, though that actually obscurely works too) could fit Shikamaru too? It's supposed to be her unconscious feelings for Shikamaru showing through. :X
- As for Shikamaru's description of Sakura, it's very Ino-ish, because after all he couldn't hide his true thoughts. :D Also because I had a lot of problems making Sakura sound like Ino.
- Shikamaru frowns when Ino asks if the clouds are more interesting than her, because we all know that is so not true. :P
- I kind of overloaded the story with the 'blinded' motif. The last paragraph is obvious, but there's also the beginning when Shikamaru's trying to catch the sun, when Ino can't focus on the sun's position, and when Ino punches the air and blocks out the sun temporarily (which relates to Shikamaru being unable to 'catch' the sun - Ino IS more open with her feelings after all)
- Shikamaru carries her home because even though it's troublesome, he'll do it if it's for her. :)
Uh, I believe that's all. I hope you liked this fic, it's my first Naruto one and a tribute to my favourite Naruto coupling. I apologise if I overdosed on the angst and made Shikamaru too depressed, but I just had the inspiration to write this fic. Anyway, I personally think there's a happy ending to this fic! One day they'll see their feelings for each other, and then there'll be lots of lovely fluff! But that's another story.
Anyway, please do review! It'll really make my day and give me more motivation to write another fic! Constructive criticism is always appreciated. :)
& SnoOza