Chapter 11

"You shouldn't have said that." Piper said; as soon as Phoebe entered the kitchen. "Maybe, maybe not. But at least she knows that we're watching her."

Piper went over to the fridge, took out an ice pack and gave it to Phoebe. "Thanks... What are we going to do Pipe? We cannot let my premonition come true."

Piper pulled up a chair opposite her and sat down. "I don't know Pheebs. We call Leo and ask him if he or even 'they'got any idea on what's going on. Other then that, I just don't know."

I peeked into the kitchen. Debating my options. Should I go in there and tell them? Or should I find the answers and handle it on my own?

As I was about to enter the kitchen, a sharp pain penetrated my skull. I should have known it wouldn't be easy. 'She' knew my thoughts, my every move before I made them. 'She' was after all, a part of me. The part that I thought I had buried a long time ago, that I created when I witness my mother's death.

My inner-self, another me that was forced to feel all of my deeply buried emotions, from my sisters, from the world. Never for them to be resurfaced. Who knew that this was the result of it?

I had to be strong for my sisters, as our bastard father left us...Left them. I had to be strong for them, to protect them, to be responsible for them. But, most importantly to give them love as both a sister and a 'parent'.

Was that the key to this mess? To except my mother's death to grieve for what was lost over twenty years ago? To let out all my emotions, that had been buried for so long? After all, that was what the angel of death told me to do. To grieve for what was lost. A part of me wanted to, wanted so much to run in there and throw myself into their arms, to cry and tell them everything that I kept from them. Every secret that I had hidden from them, that made me the person that I am today. They had a right to know, don't they?

To tell them I'm not the person that they think I am. I'm not the strong, confident person that they thought.

It had all been a front. Always has been. A mask to hide the real truth from them. The truth is, is that I really am a fraud.

They don't know the real me, hell I doubt if I know the real 'me' anymore.

Breaking from my thoughts as I heard Piper calling out for Leo, I tried to eavesdrop but the pain in my skull was getting stronger and stronger by the second, it was pounding like a migraine. I put my hands at the sides of my head.

'She' just wouldn't let up, my alternated self wants to break out and cause havoc, to lash out all those pent up emotions from over years to those that will cross 'her' path, when she breaks free. I cannot allow that to happen.

I will not allowed that to happen.

I turn towards the stairs, heading towards my bedroom, I need to lie down. Need to rest, knowing sleep would release the devil in me. Who knows what 'she' would be capable of, if that happened.

I know that I've got two options... Well, one is actually more of a long-term effect then the other. I figured if I say it out loud to myself without thinking it, then 'she' won't know about it.

One option is to take caffeine pills or other formats of stimulates to keep myself awake. It will gradually make me weak but I am hoping that I will find the answer to destroy this part of me forever, and be free from it forever for her to never return, before I'm lost completely. Even if the result means that I would lose the ability to astro-project, so be it. If I can't control it then was the point in having it? The other option is...

"To kill myself..."

TBC?