One Dinner
Moony wrote this – once again.
JK's wonderful Voldy-Poo character and all others.
Sorry I haven't been updating Marauder's Nightmare, I'm suffering from writer's block. But for all Moony the author fans – enjoy One Dinner.
Voldy-Poo's POV
I glided slowly past the tables. Hopefully that clumsy Wormtail remembered that I wanted to eat lasagna today. I really never liked Muggle food like that, but it's actually quite good. He smiled weakly.
"My Lord, your dinner is done."
I strode to the table set 'beautifully' without a word. I needn't waste my breath speaking to clumsy servants. He forgot. I pounded my fist on the table. With my scary high voice I cried, "Wormtail!" The shaking rodent came over.
"Y-yes My Lord?"
"What did I ask for dinner?"
He shook and said, "M-m-m-my lord sir... was it meat loaf sir?"
"WHAT?" I roared.
I really didn't care whether it was meat loaf or lasagna. I liked to be in control of my Death Eaters. And scaring them was very good for my appetite.
"I-I-I'm sorry My Lord!" he whimpered. He began to blubber as he was on the floor, kneeling. And he was spitting on my boots. "Sir, sir. I forgot My Lord! I couldn't remember Sir! I did not know what to do Sir! I thought yesterday he liked meat loaf Sir, so I decided to make it again Sir! I forgot what you wanted!" Well I did like meat loaf... but still, why would show to him? I needed to be in control. I needed him to be punished.
"I WANTED VENISON!" I shouted, and I think the forks banged. Wait a minute. I didn't want venison! I wanted lasagna! I hated venison! Too late. I couldn't shout again. The Dark Lord does not make mistakes!
Wormtail trembled.
"Y-y-yes My Lord, I will make it right away."
"NO!" I shouted.
"I will eat this... this... meat loaf so you call it! But do not forget tomorrow, it shall be VENISON!"
He bowed, "Yes, My Lord, I will not fail again."
"Now go!" I bellowed.
Man, that bellowing made me really thirsty. And that drat fool forgot to give me pumpkin juice. Gosh, I'm gonna yell myself hoarse someday!
"WORMTAIL!" I screamed again.
The shrimpy dude immediately came at my feet.
"Yes My Lord?"
"HAVEN'T YOU FORGOT SOMETHING??"
"W-w-what is it Sir?"
"MY PUMPKIN JUICE! HERE I AM, DRY AS A BONE, THIRSTY AS A DUDE LOST IN A DESERT, AND HERE YOU FORGET PUMPKIN JUICE???"
His face became pale.
"R-r-right away Sir! I am sorry!"
And then the pumpkin juice appeared. He then ran off. I didn't care to pour it into the cup. I just grabbed the jug and dumped it down my mouth. Man, it tasted good. Then I realized there was no more. Dang it! I needed more! But... I needed a way to punish Wormtail while getting more...
"WORMTAIL!"
And again came the clumsy fool at my feet.
"Yes My Lord?" he asked.
"YOU DID NOT GIVE ME ENOUGH JUICE!!! HERE I AM, STIL THIRSTY AFTER ONLY ONE JUG, AND YOU FAILED TO GIVE ME ENOUGH TO SATISFY MY THIRST!!! THAT UNACCEPTABLE!"
"Yes Sir! Wormtail shall not fail again, My Lord!"
And five jugs of juice came on the table. He wanted to secure there was enough. Hehe. I was going to punish him later for that. But I started on the meat loaf. Wormtail is a good cook, I mean, I love the meat loaf. I can't show him that though, or he'll use me. I must not let his cooking get to me, so I looked around bowl of hot chili peppers. Then I remembered that I had used some chili pepper just yesterday to torture some of my Death Eaters, a packet was still in my pocket. I decided to use that.
I ripped it open, and poured the whole load on the meat loaf. I mixed it around so it wasn't visible. And then I took a bite. That chili power was pretty hot, and my mouth felt on fire. I grabbed another jug of pumpkin juice. When the flame had died, I got ready to bellow myself hoarse. It was a good trick, and I congratulated myself on the scheme.
"WORMTAIL!"
The guy was speeding back to me. I heard him mutter, "Now what?" under his breath.
"WHAT'S that?" I asked.
"N-n-nothing My Lord."
"Then you will explain to me why this meat loaf is extremely SPICY!"
I banged my hands on the table, one hand covering the empty chili powder packet and then stuffing it in my robes. It was a good move to get the powder. Most of my Death Eaters would've figured that one out, but Wormtail was especially stupid.
Wormtail shook.
"Sp-sp-spicy Sir? I-I-I never put anything in it –"
"ARE YOU LYING TO ME??!!" I screamed.
"No sir! No! Not at all! I did not put anything in it!"
"THEN YOU WILL EXPLAIN TO ME WHY IT IS SPICY??"
"I don't know Sir! I-I-I!" he wailed.
"WHO MADE THIS MEAT LOAF?"
"I did Sir!"
"THEN HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW WHY IT IS SPICY?"
"Sir, maybe the meat loaf was spicy already!"
"THEN WHY DID YOU BUY SPICY MEAT LOAF?!"
"I probably made a mistake, My Lord!"
"A MISTAKE? MY SERVANTS DO NOT MAKE MISTAKES! WHY DID YOU NOT LOOK AT THE LABEL CAREFULLY!!!"
I stuck my hand in the meat loaf for evidence – not really, it was an accident, but I had to use an excuse of why I stuck my hand in there, since Dark Lords do not stick their hands in meat loaf when they're angry, especially when it's Lord Voldemort. I pinched up some chili powder and shoved it under Wormtail's nose.
"WHAT IS THIS?" I screamed.
"I-I-I don't – ACHOO!"
And Wormtail's despicable snot covered my fingers. It was green. It was disgusting. It was slimy. Wormtail would pay.
"WHAT IS THIS... SLIME COVERING MY FINGERS FROM YOUR NOSE??"
"Snot sir?"
"YES OF COURSE IT'S SNOT! I KNOW THAT! WHY WOULD THE DARK LORD NOT KNOW THAT? THE QUESTION IS... WHY WOULD YOU SNEEZE ON LORD VOLDEMORT'S FINGERS???"
"I-I Sir, it was an accident... I-I-I..."
And before he started ended, he ran away crying. What a baby. He looked like a big bald baby too. But he needed to be punished.
"LUCIUS!"
And the FAITHFUL and SMART Death Eater came. He gave a GRACEFUL bow and said in a CLEAR not BABBLING voice, "Yes My Lord?"
"You are to punish Wormtail for me Lucius!" I said evilly.
Then came his GRACEFUL bow and his CLEAR not BABBLING or WHIMPERING voice, "Yes, My Lord."
I heard Wormtail screaming in pain, and it satisfied me. Now I finally started on my dinner. Actually the spicy meat loaf was good! So I gobbled it up, I was hungry from all that yelling anyway. I just wondered what breakfast would be...
The next morning...
"WORMTAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
-the end-
Moony wrote this – once again.
JK's wonderful Voldy-Poo character and all others.
Sorry I haven't been updating Marauder's Nightmare, I'm suffering from writer's block. But for all Moony the author fans – enjoy One Dinner.
Voldy-Poo's POV
I glided slowly past the tables. Hopefully that clumsy Wormtail remembered that I wanted to eat lasagna today. I really never liked Muggle food like that, but it's actually quite good. He smiled weakly.
"My Lord, your dinner is done."
I strode to the table set 'beautifully' without a word. I needn't waste my breath speaking to clumsy servants. He forgot. I pounded my fist on the table. With my scary high voice I cried, "Wormtail!" The shaking rodent came over.
"Y-yes My Lord?"
"What did I ask for dinner?"
He shook and said, "M-m-m-my lord sir... was it meat loaf sir?"
"WHAT?" I roared.
I really didn't care whether it was meat loaf or lasagna. I liked to be in control of my Death Eaters. And scaring them was very good for my appetite.
"I-I-I'm sorry My Lord!" he whimpered. He began to blubber as he was on the floor, kneeling. And he was spitting on my boots. "Sir, sir. I forgot My Lord! I couldn't remember Sir! I did not know what to do Sir! I thought yesterday he liked meat loaf Sir, so I decided to make it again Sir! I forgot what you wanted!" Well I did like meat loaf... but still, why would show to him? I needed to be in control. I needed him to be punished.
"I WANTED VENISON!" I shouted, and I think the forks banged. Wait a minute. I didn't want venison! I wanted lasagna! I hated venison! Too late. I couldn't shout again. The Dark Lord does not make mistakes!
Wormtail trembled.
"Y-y-yes My Lord, I will make it right away."
"NO!" I shouted.
"I will eat this... this... meat loaf so you call it! But do not forget tomorrow, it shall be VENISON!"
He bowed, "Yes, My Lord, I will not fail again."
"Now go!" I bellowed.
Man, that bellowing made me really thirsty. And that drat fool forgot to give me pumpkin juice. Gosh, I'm gonna yell myself hoarse someday!
"WORMTAIL!" I screamed again.
The shrimpy dude immediately came at my feet.
"Yes My Lord?"
"HAVEN'T YOU FORGOT SOMETHING??"
"W-w-what is it Sir?"
"MY PUMPKIN JUICE! HERE I AM, DRY AS A BONE, THIRSTY AS A DUDE LOST IN A DESERT, AND HERE YOU FORGET PUMPKIN JUICE???"
His face became pale.
"R-r-right away Sir! I am sorry!"
And then the pumpkin juice appeared. He then ran off. I didn't care to pour it into the cup. I just grabbed the jug and dumped it down my mouth. Man, it tasted good. Then I realized there was no more. Dang it! I needed more! But... I needed a way to punish Wormtail while getting more...
"WORMTAIL!"
And again came the clumsy fool at my feet.
"Yes My Lord?" he asked.
"YOU DID NOT GIVE ME ENOUGH JUICE!!! HERE I AM, STIL THIRSTY AFTER ONLY ONE JUG, AND YOU FAILED TO GIVE ME ENOUGH TO SATISFY MY THIRST!!! THAT UNACCEPTABLE!"
"Yes Sir! Wormtail shall not fail again, My Lord!"
And five jugs of juice came on the table. He wanted to secure there was enough. Hehe. I was going to punish him later for that. But I started on the meat loaf. Wormtail is a good cook, I mean, I love the meat loaf. I can't show him that though, or he'll use me. I must not let his cooking get to me, so I looked around bowl of hot chili peppers. Then I remembered that I had used some chili pepper just yesterday to torture some of my Death Eaters, a packet was still in my pocket. I decided to use that.
I ripped it open, and poured the whole load on the meat loaf. I mixed it around so it wasn't visible. And then I took a bite. That chili power was pretty hot, and my mouth felt on fire. I grabbed another jug of pumpkin juice. When the flame had died, I got ready to bellow myself hoarse. It was a good trick, and I congratulated myself on the scheme.
"WORMTAIL!"
The guy was speeding back to me. I heard him mutter, "Now what?" under his breath.
"WHAT'S that?" I asked.
"N-n-nothing My Lord."
"Then you will explain to me why this meat loaf is extremely SPICY!"
I banged my hands on the table, one hand covering the empty chili powder packet and then stuffing it in my robes. It was a good move to get the powder. Most of my Death Eaters would've figured that one out, but Wormtail was especially stupid.
Wormtail shook.
"Sp-sp-spicy Sir? I-I-I never put anything in it –"
"ARE YOU LYING TO ME??!!" I screamed.
"No sir! No! Not at all! I did not put anything in it!"
"THEN YOU WILL EXPLAIN TO ME WHY IT IS SPICY??"
"I don't know Sir! I-I-I!" he wailed.
"WHO MADE THIS MEAT LOAF?"
"I did Sir!"
"THEN HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW WHY IT IS SPICY?"
"Sir, maybe the meat loaf was spicy already!"
"THEN WHY DID YOU BUY SPICY MEAT LOAF?!"
"I probably made a mistake, My Lord!"
"A MISTAKE? MY SERVANTS DO NOT MAKE MISTAKES! WHY DID YOU NOT LOOK AT THE LABEL CAREFULLY!!!"
I stuck my hand in the meat loaf for evidence – not really, it was an accident, but I had to use an excuse of why I stuck my hand in there, since Dark Lords do not stick their hands in meat loaf when they're angry, especially when it's Lord Voldemort. I pinched up some chili powder and shoved it under Wormtail's nose.
"WHAT IS THIS?" I screamed.
"I-I-I don't – ACHOO!"
And Wormtail's despicable snot covered my fingers. It was green. It was disgusting. It was slimy. Wormtail would pay.
"WHAT IS THIS... SLIME COVERING MY FINGERS FROM YOUR NOSE??"
"Snot sir?"
"YES OF COURSE IT'S SNOT! I KNOW THAT! WHY WOULD THE DARK LORD NOT KNOW THAT? THE QUESTION IS... WHY WOULD YOU SNEEZE ON LORD VOLDEMORT'S FINGERS???"
"I-I Sir, it was an accident... I-I-I..."
And before he started ended, he ran away crying. What a baby. He looked like a big bald baby too. But he needed to be punished.
"LUCIUS!"
And the FAITHFUL and SMART Death Eater came. He gave a GRACEFUL bow and said in a CLEAR not BABBLING voice, "Yes My Lord?"
"You are to punish Wormtail for me Lucius!" I said evilly.
Then came his GRACEFUL bow and his CLEAR not BABBLING or WHIMPERING voice, "Yes, My Lord."
I heard Wormtail screaming in pain, and it satisfied me. Now I finally started on my dinner. Actually the spicy meat loaf was good! So I gobbled it up, I was hungry from all that yelling anyway. I just wondered what breakfast would be...
The next morning...
"WORMTAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
-the end-