A/N: Alright, this is my version of Queer Eye For The Straight Guy with Hogwarts characters. This is completely random and they are really out of character, but...oh well. Anyway, tell me if you like it and try not to flame coz if you do I'll be angry

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Harry Potter

Chapter 1 of Queer Eye for the Hogwarts Guy

By Wormtail-Hater

They are five Wizards on a mission. And that mission is to find the washed- up, unfashionable, loser rejects of Hogwarts and make them into something. They plan to make Hogwarts that extra inch gayer!

'Okay guys' Draco, the style guru said excitedly 'Today's mission is to make over Michael Corner. He's a Ravenclaw, in 5th year and desperately wants to get back with his girlfriend Ginny. So lets help Michael go from drab to fab!'

The five boys climbed the staircase to the Ravenclaw common room, all the way arguing about whose pair of Gucci shoes was the sexiest.

'MINE' said Harry, the culture man, shrilly 'I can't believe you would even think those out of season, off brown shoes could compare to my expensive, black ones, I mean, Who do you think you are?'

'Well, sweetie' explained Ronald, the interior design guru of the group ' I learnt that money is fab, but is sometimes can't buy style. I bought these for 4 sickles from Barry's Bargians, and I sweare they look like they cost me 4000 Galleon, against your hideous monsters you call shoes'

'What are you calling shoes, they are the most tacky things I've seen' protested Neville, the food guru, as he whipped out his mirror to check his perfectly gelled hair. 'These are what you call a pair of gorgeous shoes

The four other boys gasped in unison.

'Where, in the name of all things that are good –'

'And gay' Draco reminded Dean, the grooming guru

'Sorry, In the name of all things good and gay did you get those perfect, beautiful pair of shoes' said Dean breathlessly

'That's for me to know and you to find out...if your good' drawled Neville with a hearty wink

'Oh gosh, I can't wait for that one, sister' Harry said gleefully

'Well, it will have to wait, because here we are' said Draco. Clearly he was the leader of the group

'Do you think it will be a hot one?' said Ronald with a fervent grin

'Hope so, you remember the last one?' asked Neville, while Dean wolf whistled

'Gosh, I remember him, talk about hottie' said Harry, fanning himself with his hand 'That beard and that nose'

'Not Dumbledore, Harry, we mean the Hufflepuff'

'Oh, Um I knew that' said Harry blushing ' C'mon, Dumbledore, pshuuuu, as if'

'Whatever, boys' said Draco, placing a hand girlishly on his hip 'Let's go style us some Ravenclaw'

The five boys entered the common room, to find a brown haired boy sitting alone by the fire

As they were walking towards the fire Harry whistled to a couple of Quidditch players, receiving some very disgusted looks.

'We're the fab five, and we're here to gay up your life!' exclaimed Draco, to whom they presumed was Michael Corner'

'Um....i'm not Michael' said the boy looking very frightened at the five gay guys, who were surrounding him 'Michael's over there'. He pointed to a forlorn looking boy, holding a photograph in his hand

'Bugger' said Harry, pouting 'Wrong straight guy'

As they walked towards Michael, Ron yelled to the other boy 'Send me a owl sometime, hun!'

They finally got to Michael, who looked surprised to see them but really was to distraught to care

'Sss-she said she ll-loved me' he stuttered, tears leaking from his eyes 'B- but then she left, because I'm a l-loser, who has no style'

'We'll that's all going to change, cause we're going to change you from Drab to Fab' said Neville, waving his hands about gaily 'So let's get started!'

They all made their way up to the Ravenclaw dormitory, where Draco started to go through Michael's closet

'What are these' said Draco, wrinkling up his nose in disgust

'There my quidditch robes' Michael said, glancing up from the picture of Ginny

'Really, who plays Quidditch nowadays anyway' said Draco 'Wont be needing them anymore'. And he threw them out of the window, were they landed in the lake

'Hey!, I need them to play' protested Michael

'Guess your team will be a man short then' said Harry

'Ugh, what have you done with this dormitiory' asked Ronald, observing the room with a critical eye

In the next few hours Draco took Micheal to a new robe shop in Hogsmead and made him look like a real man, the type that Ginny would want back

Ronald turned the dormitory upside down and inside out, and managed to make it the most stylish Hogwarts dormitory ever

Harry taught Michael how to Latin dance, as it was Ginny's favorite form of dance

Neville taught Michael how to whip up a strawberry Pavlova, which was Ginny's favorite meal

Dean bought enough grooming products to last Michael a lifetime and taught him how to make himself look presentable

The end result? A very happy and stylish straight guy

Tune in next week as the fab five change another live