Saints and Sinners – By Darlin

AN – Yay! I can finally upload and review too! Fanfiction.net is such a lovely entity but when it's not working I really miss it!

Thank you very much for the reviews all! Dark Topaz, yes there are several more chapters coming before the end. Emilio, I appreciate the suggestion but I think I kind of did that in another story of mine 'Will You Have Me' but you definitely gave me food for thought. Thanks! Isis Aurora Tomoe, thank you always for your encouraging words. Lerie, thank you, I'm always glad to get input. LilWolvie, thank you so much. Ah, NemesisBecoming, thank you for your review. I like this side of Wolvie too. I'd also like to mention to everyone that NemesisBecoming has an excellent RoLo story called 'Rememory' and I highly recommend it. I'm not one to give out praise lightly but her story is just beautiful and I hope you check it out. Shadowface, I hoped Logan wasn't being too lewd because I try to show another side of him when he's with Ororo. I like to think of him as a changed man whom love has touched in inexplicable ways! TigerStorm, thank you for your kind review. Voli, that's such a nice compliment, thank you very much and also, thanks for sending fascinating e-mails that really make you think and smile. Thank you all who read and I hope this chapter's enjoyable.

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Chapter Eleven – The Aftermath Continues

It wasn't an easy thing for Ororo to accept help and it certainly wasn't easy for her to ask for help but now she found it was becoming easier and easier to let Logan help her. Over the years she had learned that being stubborn and proud were excellent defensive measures that kept her from being hurt but now those defenses were crumbling. For two days she slept, waking sporadically then falling almost immediately back to sleep. Each time she woke up Logan was there by her side offering water, soup, and any necessary thing he could think of. At first it had been a little baffling to have him at her beck and call but then she found it amusing and now she found it sweet and even comforting.

It was beyond nice to have Logan padding around her room doing his best to take care of her. It made her feel cared for, something she couldn't really remember feeling ever since her parents had died when she was a small child. She felt so safe and good with Logan that she almost didn't want to get up on the third day. Even so it was her independent nature that forced her to make an attempt to resume her normal life so she tossed the covers off and sat up ready to at least try. Unfortunately she sat up so quickly that she immediately wished she hadn't made the attempt at all. Her head was spinning and she felt horribly dizzy. Holding her head in both hands she tried not to moan. Fortunately for her Logan was there by her side as soon as he heard her first movement.

"How many times do I have ta tell you ya gotta take it easy, darlin'?" he asked.

"I smell," she moaned. "I need a bath."

He laughed. "Yeah, but if you'd let me clean ya up again you wouldn't

now would ya?"

She rolled her eyes. "I have to take a bath today."

"Alright, let me help you up."

"You have to give me some privacy too this time. I want to soak all day long!"

Ignoring her he picked her up and carried her to the bathroom.

"Please tell me you're not going to keep picking me up every time I have to go to the bathroom!" she laughed.

Logan looked at her but didn't answer. He actually liked picking her up feeling her small trim body in his arms. In fact he liked just touching her, feeling her soft skin, and her silky hair under his rough hands. It had almost become addictive.

"I must have bad breath too," Ororo continued.

"Yup."

She laughed. You can put me down now."

He did so rather reluctantly.

"You can leave now and don't come in until I tell you too," she ordered.

This had become their routine. Though she had awakened that first night she hadn't needed to use the facilities but the next day Logan was still hovering over her urging her to eat and drink and insisting on carrying her into the bathroom each and every time she had to go. At first she felt awkward and pretty much bewildered with his constant concern but as the need to relieve herself persisted she finally just ordered him to get out of her room so she could dress and take care of herself in private. Such a simple request, such a simple thing to do but Logan, not being a simple man, refused. He simply picked her up as gently as he could and carried her, sheet and all, into the bathroom where he waited outside. At the time she'd thought his behavior would have been funny if it hadn't been happening to her. It was a little irritating in an oddly infuriatingly endearing way which made no sense to her at all.

When she didn't come out after a few minutes Logan, acting on pure instinct, barged in without bothering to knock. He found her standing over the sink, sheet pooled around her feet, wash cloth in hand but no water running. She was ready to crumble, all her energy spent, and she hadn't minded at all when Logan had picked up the sheet and wrapped her in it then took her into his arms again and carried her back to bed.

Slightly embarrassed but truly exhausted she had fallen back to sleep quickly and gratefully. Later the next day she had awakened and demanded clothes. He had obliged and dug through her drawers grabbing the most suitable looking things – a plain white tee shirt and a pair of gray shorts. She'd dressed under the covers, had a little soup and water then tried to send him away. He had refused and again carried her to the bathroom where she had washed up as quickly as she could manage in hopes of finishing before he barged in again. She had no desire to give Logan any more reasons for checking her out.

Now she just laughed, thankful for his care. She couldn't deny that she enjoyed the feel of being in strong arms again. Her time with Hank seemed like a lifetime ago. Hank hadn't been to see her once during the past few days she was out of it although the others had. That had opened her eyes quite a bit and had eased much of the guilt that she'd felt because of their breakup. Now she refused to dwell on what they'd had and quickly pushed thoughts of him aside.

A pointed look at Logan had him backing out and Ororo shut the door behind him. It wasn't long before she was soaking in a hot tub and humming happily. Later she heard someone knocking on her bedroom door but she let Logan take care of whoever it was as she lingered in her bath. When she finally got out letting the tub drain she stepped on the scales and let out a gasp when she saw the amount of weight she'd lost – a good five pounds!

"You okay in there, darlin'?"

She looked at the door and wondered how he could hear her every sigh and gasp. It was as if he were pressed up against the door with Dumbo sized ears waiting for the smallest sign of distress. Probably hoping to catch her naked again too. That was a little much she thought and decided not to answer. Instead she started the shower, adjusted the water, and hurriedly got in to wash off as was her habit after a long bath.

It was only a short shower that she took. She was still getting used to standing for longer periods and her head was starting to ache. She hoped she never had to use her powers to such an extent again because she didn't think she could handle it much less put up with Logan's constant mothering all over again. That made her wonder why he hadn't come in like he usually did. It also made her remember to ask the Professor to put locks on their bathroom doors.

After drying off she put on one of the long robes hanging on the back of the bathroom door. The silk felt good against her skin. Just having clean hair and being clean again felt good. She was drying her hair with a towel when she stepped out and she knew Logan would immediately want to carry her back to bed so she stood patiently waiting for his arms to cradle her and lift her up. After a few seconds with no reprimanding words or the expected embrace she looked up to see Logan was no where in sight. He was gone. Gone? Gone!

She hadn't expected that but of course someone had told him about some life or death situation going on and he'd gone to save the world with the rest of the gang. Saving the world really wouldn't have qualified as a reason to leave her she thought grumpily regretting the thought even as she thought it. She was being childish. She knew it. She was acting spoiled. She was hurt though and angry. It was as if he'd deserted her. That wasn't a good feeling! She had thought he was getting on her nerves – just a little, but now she missed him more than she could say.

On the plus side it was a good thing to have her privacy back. Still, she found it odd that she missed him and so much. She'd have to snap out of it and get a hold of herself. That fight must have really, really, really drained her and left her with no semblance of good sense any more. That was an encouraging thought or at least it was in a sad kind of pathetic way. She went over to her bed as she wrapped the towel around her head trying hard not to overreact. Seeing that her sheets had been changed as they had been every day since she'd been out of it did nothing to lift her spirits either. What was he doing? Her laundry? That thought annoyed her inordinately and feeling disgruntled with both Logan and herself she curled up on her bed, pulled her clean white and gold comforter over her head and after a long while she drifted off to sleep.

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With Logan what you saw was pretty much what you got but much like Ororo he had learned to show a harder side of himself to the world. It kept him safe, less hassles that way. He was slow to trust and had few friends. When he cared for someone he cared deeply though that person might never know it. He was the type of person who would be a friend for life unless one did something foolhardy and broke his trust or betrayed him. To earn his trust and friendship was nearly impossible and few had felt it worth their while.

Jean had thrown that friendship aside and with it had gone a piece of his heart. He didn't hate her now, he just considered it a bad lesson in life and he knew he should've known better. But he was always one to learn from his mistakes. He had no intention of letting himself become that stupid or vulnerable again.

He'd thought he could just move on but there was one thing he hadn't planned on and that was caring for her or any of the other X-Men. He'd still fight for Jean but it was no more than what he'd do for Peter and Scott or Kitty and Bobby and maybe even Hank. They were team mates that he respected and didn't mind working with. The thing was he'd fight for them but he knew in his heart that he would die for Ororo. Their time in the danger room had shown him that.

His heart had been laid bare for not only his own eyes but for anyone else who might be paying attention. Oh, he hadn't made another slip like he had in the danger room when he'd called Ororo 'sweetheart' but he hadn't been able to pull himself from her bedside. He hadn't been able to let anyone else take care of her either. Common sense told him that anyone with eyes, including Cyclops, had probably figured it out by now. He really didn't care. He just didn't want Ororo to know or at least not yet. Maybe never. He didn't know how she felt about him and he didn't want to test the waters nor did he want to lose his heart altogether. Once was enough although he knew what he'd felt for Jean wasn't anything remotely like what he felt for Ororo. That alone told him it wasn't somewhere he wanted to go yet – if ever.

Still, he couldn't help but hope that Ororo's teasing and quiet obedience meant she was warming up to him. He couldn't always be sure about her though. He knew she was full of fun and mischief but he knew she was also a lot like him – afraid to reveal her true feelings and she hated appearing vulnerable just as much as he did. That meant he didn't have a clue as to what he should do and so he basically decided to do nothing or at least nothing that would leave him feeling stupidly heartsick and looking just as bad. He'd decided it would be better to just wait rather than to act which was sometimes the best strategy although not his usual plan of action. He would just play it cool like usual. Say nothing, do nothing. Maybe liven things up for her a bit but nothing more.

In fact, that had been the reason he had torn himself away from Ororo earlier. He had an idea and had put his plan in motion. When he returned from his little errand he started to let himself in as usual but then thought better of it and knocked loudly. When she didn't answer, and he only waited a few seconds, he threw the door open and raced in only to come to a sudden halt when he saw her. A big grin of relief spread over his face when he saw her sleeping soundly looking all the world like a little girl curled up in her big feather bed. He shut the door behind him and moved quietly towards her.

Watching her always gave him a strange feeling like someone was squeezing his heart over and over as hard as they could. It was a new feeling for him, one that had bothered him at first because he couldn't understand it but now he was beginning to recognize it for what it was. It wasn't something he wanted to think about though. He just wanted to sit beside her, and smooth her wet hair down, and listen to her soft breathing.

As soon as the bed sunk beneath Logan's heavy weight Ororo stirred. She blinked several times and stifling a yawn. When she saw Logan looking at her she smiled up at him then lifted her head and, kitten-like, laid her head down on his lap. He had that constricting feeling again as his heart overflowed with so much happiness it was hard for him to fathom. He didn't care what anyone might think about him if they could see him now. He didn't care about things he usually cared about either. He hadn't given it a second thought when Ororo was in need of a good bath and wasn't quite up to her usual exemplary hygienic standards. He didn't care if she had morning breath, night breath, or antiseptic Listerine breath. He didn't care if her hair was wild and standing on end and in need of a good washing or if she looked like a bag lady when she woke up. All he cared about was who she was deep inside – how she treated him with total honesty and with complete faith in him. It was the first time ever that appearance wasn't a factor for him. The first time that he saw past looks and saw into someone's heart. Now, sitting with her head comfortably resting in his lap, he felt that everything was right in his world and nothing else could possibly matter. It was the scariest thing he'd ever felt in all his life.

One would think that seeing Logan and Ororo in that position would be the scariest thing that Scott had ever seen but their fearless leader wasn't bothered a bit when he stuck his head into Ororo's room. After all, he had an inkling days ago that Logan had been caught by cupid's arrow even if Logan didn't know it yet. Scott grinned and let himself in after rapping his knuckles lightly against the door. Scott actually felt relieved to see them in such an intimate position. Seeing Logan acting like a besotted wuss was amusing but also wonderfully reassuring. At least they weren't doing something more shocking, he thought with another chuckle then collecting himself he cleared his throat to get Logan's attention and waited for him to look up.

Usually quick to pick up the slightest sound Logan had paid no attention to the soft rap and click of the doorknob or the amused laugh nor the brief grunt Scott made. Scott was the last thing on his mind.

"Whaddaya want?" Logan asked without bothering to look up.

"How's she doing?" Scott asked.

"Better."

Scott nodded. "Still on for tonight?"

Logan nodded and Scott slipped out. Logan barely noticed as he continued stroking Ororo's hair gently. It wasn't long before Bobby tapped on the door and stuck his head in without waiting for a response.

"Dude, we're all set for tonight," he said giving Logan a thumbs up.

"Sssh," Logan hissed.

"Oops, sorry, man. See ya."

It was getting dark outside Logan noticed but he didn't get up to turn the lights on. Instead he sat in the growing darkness listening to the sounds from outside creep in as the sheer curtains blew in the wind. He'd never ever thought about having moments like this when everything was quiet and peaceful and you didn't want to be anywhere else just with the woman who made you feel as if this is what life was all about. He felt an uncomfortable lump growing in his throat as realized how enormous his feelings were for this woman – Ororo. He kept trying to deny what he was feeling – felt that if he admitted the depth of those feelings he'd jinx it – ruin it and the way it was right then, right there, alone with her lovingly curled up to him – sheer perfection.

It was easy to let those thoughts go and just sit there in the darkness and let the unusual but welcomed feeling of contentment seep through him. He watched Ororo sleep for almost another hour. He was just starting to wonder if he should wake her when she pulled away from him turning her back to him. His hand reached out and caressed her cheek, already missing her touch.

"I don't think you know me well enough to be all touchy feely, buddy!" Ororo said with a touch of her old sense of humor.

Logan stood up and stretched never taking his eyes off her. Wild and tangled hair took nothing away from her beauty. He loved her wit, her spunk, her attitude – everything about her just then seemed perfect to him. She was stretching too now and looked quite feline. When she sat up he took her hands in his and looked them over thoroughly as she watched him intently. Everyday he checked her burns and bandaged them again. Today was no different. Though they'd healed remarkably fast he still bandaged them with great care.

She was fascinated at the attention to detail that he gave the bandaging. He was a puzzle to her. She thought she might never figure him out. Once the fresh bandages were secured he picked up a comb from amongst the items on the nightstand and started to comb her hair as he had done ever since he'd started taking care of her. She scooted up onto the pillows and let him tend to her.

As he combed through her tangles he could smell how fresh and clean she was after her long bath though he knew she had never smelled as badly as she thought she had. He really liked how she didn't panic and act all girly about smelling and not having every last hair in place. He loved how she accepted things as they were. No freaking out because she looked like hell even though he didn't think she could ever look like that no matter what she did. He loved combing her hair and rubbing lotion on her and just doing little things for her that he'd never ever imagined doing with any other woman. It made him feel needed, something he'd never felt before.

Ororo felt loved and cared for though she didn't for a moment believe Logan loved her. She just felt good when he was close and she felt protected and almost worshiped when he was taking care of her. It was bliss to be with him like this – alone as if they were the only ones that mattered or even existed. It was special in a way she couldn't describe and wonderfully unexpected too, this new feeling that she got when ever he was around. She had to force herself to not let it get to her. He was too old, too much of a man to be interested in her like she was starting to be interested in him. She didn't have the slightest understanding why she had to like him so much. It wasn't like her. It wasn't sensible or safe. She wasn't his type. He certainly wasn't her type. They were both acting out of character and she knew it. In fact she felt it had to be some kind of after effect from the shock they'd experienced from what they'd gone through together and nothing more.

When he laid a hand on her neck to keep her head from tilting too far she closed her eyes. She wanted him to touch her. She loved his touch – solid, firm, warm, and soft all at once. But with that realization she opened her eyes and frowned. She'd have to stop acting so spoony, she told herself. It was just Logan. He'd never impressed her before. Logan the Wolverine. Too old and too much man for her and yes there was such a thing as too much man for her she decided without letting her ego get in the way. Logan couldn't be tamed, wouldn't want to be tamed. She'd end up hurt. He wasn't staying. He'd said as much. That said it all. Why fall for a guy who wouldn't be around tomorrow or next month? It was all pretty pointless. She watched him, now brushing her hair, not realizing that her face reflected almost every thought going through her mind.

After finishing her hair he reached for a bottle of lotion and Ororo felt a tingling rush of excitement as she anticipated his touch again. He pulled her robe aside revealing her long coltish legs. She watched him watching her and knew he was satisfied when she gasped as the cold lotion splashed down on her thigh. He was awful she decided but she didn't care. He grinned. He liked to see her jump when the cold creamy liquid touched her warm flesh. He couldn't help it even though he proceeded to rub her legs and her feet as gently as he could. Something about her made him want to have fun with her even though he wanted to treat her with kid gloves or like a fragile china doll.

When he finished she automatically turned her back to him, untying her robe then letting it fall from her shoulders as she preparing for the first cold drop. She shrugged her arms out of the long sleeves and gathered up the front of her robe covering her chest. She felt flirty and sexy and totally pampered when he began to rub lotion on her back, not even minding the sudden coldness. This had become their daily ritual. He would comb and brush her hair then lotion her bed ridden body down with brisk yet tender strokes. They would watch each other unsmiling as if attempting to read the others thoughts.

"Hey, O, what's up?" Bobby asked as he came barging into the room turning the overhead light on as he did so.

"Don't you ever knock?" Logan asked with feigned gruffness as he pulled Ororo's robe over her legs covering her from Bobby's view.

"That's what locks are for," Bobby retorted.

Logan tossed the lotion onto the nightstand as Ororo slid her arms one at a time into her robe as modestly as she could. She tied her robe securely without looking at either of them then turned around, her long hair spilling over her shoulders. Bobby shifted his eyebrows up and down doing a funny imitation of Groucho Marx then growled wolfishly but a menacing glare from Logan shut him up pretty fast.

"Feeling better?" Bobby asked.

"Much. Thanks."

"You up for company?" Logan asked abruptly.

Ororo looked at him curiously wondering what he meant. Logan had the nerve to laugh at her and then the room went dark again when Bobby turned the light off and started moaning trying to sound like a ghost. Ororo covered her ears when he started laughing like a hyena. Sometimes, she thought, men were just too annoying to be of any worth whatsoever but still she was a little curious to see what they were up to.