Saints and Sinners – By Darlin
AN – Hey, Dark Topaz here's a faster update just for you and I'm hoping to get another chapter up by Sunday, my usual day. Thanks for the review! Now, Isis Aurora Tomoe no Kitty Peter this time around, it's pretty much all RoLo but I do have a little something planned for my favorite tin man and Ms. Pryde – no trouble at all. By the way, when are you going to update your RoLo story? Lerie, you are so welcome, and your wish is my command! Thanks. LilWolvie, you're so kind, thanks. Much thanks to Nienna of Sorrow. And finally thanks to Stormie04 for reviewing chapter 9.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ * ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Chapter Sixteen – To Give In or Not to Give In?
It was Wednesday night and yet Ororo was not in good spirits. Usually nothing could ruin a Wednesday night for her but the entire day hadn't gone to her liking at all. Her mood had nothing to do with the missing Rogue and Kurt whom she barely gave a thought to. But it did have everything to do with the missing Logan.
After Scott called off the search for Rogue and Kurt, Ororo had gone to her room, showered, and changed into a cute little dress, then fixed her hair so it hung in gentle waves down her back. Feeling a little foolish she had hurried down for dinner, ignoring the admiring looks on Warren and Bobby's faces, as she eagerly looked around the dining room in hopes of seeing Logan whom though she was annoyed with she still desperately wanted to see. After Scott and Jean came meandering in and no one else followed them, Ororo's face had fallen noticeably.
Having no appetite she had stuffed a few pieces of something into her mouth, barely bothered to chew, swallowed quickly, then downed an entire glass of water as slowly as she could in order not to seem too conspicuous and after enough time had passed she'd asked to be excused. The Professor readily acquiesced and she had bounded from the room as quickly as possible. Having gone from angry earlier when Logan had brushed her off to mildly annoyed she was right back at the boiling point.
Going to Logan's room would have been undignified even though that's just where she wanted to go if for nothing else but to yell at him but her pride got the better of her and so she refused to go there. Instead she went where she usually did on a Wednesday night, the TV room. Once there she climbed into a comfortable chair somewhat away from the TV, curled her long legs under her, and waited for eight o'clock to come. She didn't have long to wait, which was good because her thoughts were getting the best of her and she was ready to run up to Logan's room and beat the door down. She was probably more mad at herself than she was with Logan simply because she'd let her self get to this point. They weren't going together. They were just friends, nothing more. Still shouldn't a friend act like a friend?
Just as her murderous thoughts were working overtime and just before eight Bobby came running in and threw his skinny body down onto the sofa. Peter and Kitty weren't too far behind him but Ororo ignored them, looking beyond them still hoping that the man she was furious with would show up. She vaguely wondered what had happened to Kurt and Rogue but her she was more concerned about Logan showing. She didn't realize she'd balled the front of her dress into a tight knot as she nervously waited but when Warren came in and took a long look at her she quickly smoothed out the much wrinkled dress back over her thighs.
She was glad to see Hank had not opted to show but of course she hadn't expected him to. She did wonder who invited Warren but then again they were supposed to be trying him out, so to speak, and it would've been rude not to invite him. She guessed Scott had done the inviting and she couldn't be mad at that. Scott always meant well if nothing else. How could you begrudge that?
Ah, speaking of the devil! Scott walked in and waved happily at her, even honoring her with a handsome smile. Ororo barely returned the smile as she was looking past him still hoping. She could have growled out loud when she saw Jean hurrying in after
Scott. Like a little puppy dog too, Ororo thought to herself with a little bit of jealously and quite a lot of disdain. She tried to twist the expression of disgust into a warm smile but failed miserably as her thoughts of rage continued. She of course would never follow Logan around like Jean followed Scott. It was demeaning, she thought with a small amount of satisfaction and then her thoughts grew murderous again. Screw Logan! Screw all men! The idiots!
Once the show came on her temper cooled and as she was able to watch it with mild interest while munching on the popcorn Peter and Kitty had been so thoughtful to bring back. Perhaps it was because she wasn't into the show like she usually was but whatever it was she noticed with apt aggravation that Bobby and Kitty started staring at her after every particularly funny scene. Instead of mouthing off as she felt like she tried her best to perk up and pay attention. She began to laugh too soon or when everyone else was laughing her laughter came out too high sounding for all the world like a woman on the brink of madness.
Even without these signs it was obvious to most that Logan's absence was bothering her despite the fact that she had said nothing. Scott, with his arm draped along the back of the couch behind a bored Jean, couldn't help but notice the marked difference in the usual happy, even to the point of ecstasy, Ororo on a Wednesday night compared to the now quite distant and very disgruntled Ororo. As he fiddled with Jean's hair ignoring Jean as she swiped at his arm, he wondered what he could do to help Ororo besides share his Barney Miller tapes. Fortunately for Ororo she bolted as soon as the show was off, much to Bobby's disappointment which he didn't bother to hide.
"Aren't we going to play spin the bottle?" he whined.
"Go ahead, Bob," Scott said as headed after Ororo.
"Great!" Bobby said with a grin that soon faded as Jean followed Scott and Kitty pulled Peter up, both leaving without a word.
Warren, hands out and palms up, backed out of the room slowly leaving Bobby to flop back on the couch and reaching for the remote.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ * ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
A soft knock at Ororo's door only made her feel more uneasy than before if that was possible. Should she open it? If it was she'd just as soon as ignore him and she didn't want to see anyone else. But what if she didn't answer and it was Logan? She'd relish having Logan come running back to her with his tail between his legs. That image gave her a second of joy – the Wolverine wagging his tail, tongue out, and his big brown eyes looking at her hopefully. That was exactly what he was too – a dog who deserved to beg!
Why couldn't he have just told her what was going on? Didn't he think she could handle it? After all she'd been able to understand when she'd thought the Professor had had him kill Forge. Not that she hadn't been surprised because who wouldn't have been? But she knew it hadn't been something Logan had done out of rage or plotted to do because he was working for Magneto anymore. She felt as bad as he seemed to feel until he'd turned her away. She'd only wanted to be there for him like he'd been there for her. It hurt her to know he didn't trust her. She resented him for running away from her like she was the one in the wrong.
Still, as much as she was angry, as much as she resented him, she wished more than anything in the world that whoever it was knocking on her door it was Logan even if he didn't have his tail between his legs. It was this overwhelming feeling that made her open the door even though she took her sweet time.
Scott frowned at the look of aversion Ororo threw at him but he didn't let it bother him. He stepped past her then turned to face her. Ororo stood in the doorway trying not to show her irritation. Who had invited him in anyway?
"I need to talk to you . . . about, um . . . Logan," he managed to get out as he reached over and shut the door.
Ororo rolled her eyes and went to sit down. Her heart was beating faster than she cared for and she hated to admit it, but even though Logan hadn't shown up she was hoping Scott had come to make some kind of peace offering on Logan's behalf. She knew it was crazy and unrealistic but she couldn't stop herself from hoping.
"I think you need to talk to Logan," Scott said without wasting time.
"You do, huh? And what should I talk to him about? The weather maybe?"
"It's obvious you two are fighting. You need to work it out."
"Right. Just like that? And we're not fighting!"
"Then why are you so miserable?"
Ororo stared hard at Scott. What business was this of his? And how did he know how she felt?
"I don't know what's going on but I can see the guy's crazy about you, Ororo. You're the only one who's been able to get through to him and make him act like he's got some character."
"Character?"
"Like a man, you know – act like a man!" Scott snapped.
"Really? You think?" Ororo asked, clearly surprised.
"Yeah, duh . . ."
"Duh?"
"You heard me!"
"Duh?"
"Listen, take it from me, I'm a guy and . . ."
"You are?"
"Look, stop goofing off and listen to what I have to say! I didn't come up here to put up with your wisecracks. I came to help you!"
Ororo felt silly and sorry too. Scott was right. He was the only one being a friend to her in this instance though she didn't fault the others because in all honesty she didn't want anyone to know she'd lost her head over Logan, especially so soon after breaking up with Hank. She didn't want anyone to know how stupid she felt or how hurt she was. But Scott looked as if he genuinely cared and her guilty conscious told her that he did.
"Are you ready to listen now?"
"Yes. I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize, just listen."
He seemed to be waiting to see if she'd comment then when she didn't he realized he'd forgotten what he was going to say and had to rack his brain for a minute there.
"Oh, right. I was going to say if you can't discuss your problems you can't have a relationship that's going to work," Scott said as he put a hand on her shoulder in a comforting yet manly gesture that took her by surprise.
"Um . . . okay."
Removing his hand Scott shifted his feet a little uncomfortably. If Jean knew what he was doing he was sure she'd be mad at him and if Logan caught him in Ororo's room he was sure he'd be a dead man but still he didn't make a move to go.
"So, are you going to talk to him or not?" Scott blurted out.
"Aahhhh, maybe later," Ororo said, nodding her head repeatedly.
"Good. I better go."
Good idea, Ororo was thinking as she watched Scott depart. She just wanted to go to bed and sleep forever so she didn't have to think about what Scott had said or think about Logan. And she did try to go to sleep only she tossed and turned, threw the extra pillows off the bed in anger then rammed one down over her head. She counted sheep then counted down from one hundred backwards. She tried deep breathing and after that tried hard to make her mind go blank but nothing worked.
Finally as it began to storm outside she realized she wasn't going to be able to sleep. It was still early and she had too much on her mind. So she got out of bed, put her robe on, and opened her window. Looking out at the storm which was not of her doing, she opened her window and flew out. She kept close to the house until she came to Logan's window. She didn't bother to knock but simply pulled at the window to let herself in.
It was locked. She fumbled at the window trying everything she could to break in. As she was thinking about getting a rock and throwing it through the window she realized there was a face in the window watching her.
"Logan! You scared me!" she cried, not realizing that her voice was muffled and would have been barely audible.
"Go away," Logan muttered which Ororo couldn't quite make out.
However, when he made sure the window was latched securely and shuffled back into the darkness of his room his muffled words started to register.
"Why you . . ." Ororo muttered through clench teeth and throwing his retreating back a look that promised a slow and painful death she took off.
She swooped back to her room like a hornet looking for its next victim. Landing with a loud thud and nearly falling she caught herself just in time then bounded to an armoire and started rummaging through it like a woman possessed. Finding what she wanted she immediately zoomed out of her wide open window and backtracked to Logan's window.
It took every last bit of her reserve to not throw her fist through his window; however it took only a minute for her to unlock it with the tools she'd brought. She let herself in not bothering to shut the window behind her and letting the tools fall carelessly to the ground. And as lightning flashed and thunder crashed outside she strode over to Logan with only one thought on her mind.
Normally Logan would have been up and ready for any intruder but this night he had several pillows covering his head and unbelievably as it was, it looked as if he had fallen asleep, as if Ororo had never tried to get in. Looking at him she felt two things. One, she wanted to rip those pillows off his head and beat him viciously with them. Two, she wanted to climb in bed with him and hold on to him as if none of the previous days had happened, forgetting all of their misunderstandings.
Which option to choose? It wasn't hard. Grabbing the pillows she threw them to the empty side of his bed and as he started to sit up she dove at him, slid onto the bed, and buried her face in his chest. She came up for a breath of air, such a healthy head of hair on such a hard chest! She was all smiles and trying not to giggle.
"What're you doing here?" Logan asked, astounded.
"Showing you who the boss is," she said with authority as she snuggled closer to him.
He sighed but it was merely a short sigh fast followed with a healthy 'hmmmmmmmmmm'. He hadn't failed to notice that his favorite weather goddess was clothed only in her skimpy little silk robe and the touch of her even silkier skin against his bare chest was more than enticing. Yet there was just a moment where he hesitated, after all he had killed a boy and she didn't know the details yet. He didn't know what she thought she knew or what she'd heard but he couldn't very well jump her bones and then tell her all about his bloody escapade.
"I don't like to fight," she was saying.
"Yeah. You oughta go."
"I don't want to go and I'm not leaving until you tell me what's going on," she said as she climbed on top of him.
A hiss of air left his lips as he felt himself giving in to her which was a first for him. He fought on bravely despite the luscious feel of her toned thighs against his own.
"I thought you said you knew what happened," he muttered as he tried to reign in his rising desire. The fact that she wasn't wearing anything underneath her little itty bitty robe was very disconcerting. Nevertheless he still fought for control, a heroic feat in itself for such a healthy man used to taking what he wanted when he wanted it.
"I thought I did," she whispered. "I heard you talking to the Professor. You said the Forge kid could've been contained or something instead of you having to kill him and the Professor insisted that it was the only way! But you couldn't have killed Forge because we saw him leaving so please just tell me what you were talking about."
She let out a little scream as he over turned her and sat on top of her.
"Oh . . . my! You're naked!"
"What did you expect?" he asked with a chuckle.
"Definitely not this."
"You thought I'd be sleeping in my pj's or something?"
She laughed nervously. He looked at her in the dim light of the room and grinned then he covered her body with his and kissed her. It was supposed to be a brief kiss, just for fun, but it became a deep lingering kiss that left them both flustered when they finally parted.
"Ro, you gotta go. I'm not going to be able to control myself," he admitted.
"Maybe I don't want you to."
He rolled off her and ran both hands over his face then through his hair. He didn't need this. What he needed was a cold shower. Ororo laid her head on his shoulder and began running her hands through the thick wavy hair on his chest.
"Please tell me."
There was a quiet lull as the storm outside seemed to ebb and Logan gathered his wits about him. He knew he loved this girl – this woman in bed with him. He knew he wasn't going to let her get out of his room without taking her and he knew he'd do anything she wanted.
"I never took you for the kind of woman who spied at doors," he said.
"I wasn't listening at the door – it was the window and it was an accident. You can ask Warren."
That was the wrong thing to say. Logan pulled away from her and sat up. He took a long deep breath then reached over to his nightstand and turned on a lamp. They both blinked in the yellowish light. He sat with his back to her not daring to look at her. He felt like he was going crazy. What was he doing with this girl, this kid anyway? She couldn't keep her hands – her lips off every guy there!
"Okay, wrong thing to say! You have to understand that I only kissed Warren because I didn't want the Professor to know I'd heard what he had you do even though now I don't know what he had you do! I was just afraid. He – you were talking about killing a kid! What was I supposed to think? If the Professor was having you kill kids then he's not the guy I thought he was. That was scary!"
"Well you don't have to be afraid of Chuck not while I'm around or I guess with Warren around either," Logan said.
"I'm not interested in Warren. How many times do I have to tell you that? It was a ploy to get Warren to not think so the Professor couldn't read his thoughts but you know the stupid thing about it? I didn't even need to distract him because he didn't see anything wrong with what we heard. He thought it was just what we did like it was a normal mission."
One thing Logan was sure of was his innate instincts which told him everything about Ororo's actions were sincere. A lot of women were expert manipulators but Ororo didn't have a clue how to manipulate a guy. He'd seen that from the beginning when he saw how she couldn't keep Hank under control. That had amused him then but now he didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to think about any of the men Ororo had kissed. Especially the bird man.
Even though he'd known that Ororo was telling the truth earlier it didn't keep him from feeling jealous. He hated feeling jealous which had been a constant thing when he'd been with Jean. That thought irked him and he made a mental note not to think about or mention Jeans name again.
"The kid seemed like he was going to crap his pants earlier and he wasn't even duking it out like we were," Logan said as he remembered how frightened Warren had looked. He continued, "But I don't want to talk about him. I gotta tell you, what you heard was right. I did kill someone but it wasn't Forge . . ."
"What?"
He stood up then sat back down aware that he was completely naked and even though his desire had waned he thought better of it. He didn't imagine that Ororo was a virgin but neither did he want to put himself on display for her at least not while he had yet to tell her what he had done. He didn't try to kid himself by thinking she would stay when she heard the gory details. What woman in their right mind would stay after knowing the truth? He sighed again before he mustered up his courage.
"There was this mutant. A kid who hit puberty so you know what that means . . ." he mumbled, risking a glance at her.
"He mutated, of course."
"Yeah, only his mutation meant he put off this kinda – man, I had it written down but now I can't remember all that scientific talk!"
Ororo sat up and scooted closer to him, laying a hand on his arm.
"His mutant powers were to kill people without him knowing? Is that it? Is that how he killed everyone in his hometown?" she asked, alarmed and yet relieved that all the pieces to this mystifying puzzle were finally falling together.
"Yeah. And I put him down."
The way Logan said that hit Ororo hard. She heard the regret, pain, and frustration in his deep voice. He didn't look at her but she felt his body tense under her touch. In that moment all she wanted to do was take away his anguish. She felt foolish for having carried on without knowing all the facts while he had to deal with something like that!
"And you thought Forge could've rigged something to control him or something, is that what you meant?"
"Yeah, but the Prof said that wasn't possible."
"How did he know? Did he say? Did he try?"
"Nah, I didn't ask. Just took him for his word."
Ororo remembered Hank's obsession with the Professor, believing that Charles was controlling them, or at least her, and for a moment she envisioned the Professor as a creepy manipulating old man and she shuddered.
"You okay?" he asked when he felt her body quivering.
"Am I okay?" she asked in amazement and wrapped her arms around him, kissing his shoulder and then the side of his neck several times.
"You seem okay," he admitted. "Doesn't that make you think I'm just what you thought I was?"
"What did I . . . Oh!" She sighed. "No. This is different. It's not like you went out and slaughtered a kid because you were paid or . . . I mean it was the Professor who ordered you too do it and that's way different."
He shook his head chuckling lightly. "It just kinda seemed like the wrong thing to do and I did it anyway."
She didn't say anything. She agreed with him. It was a scary thought that the Professor had sent one of them to kill a kid who'd just hit puberty. It wasn't something she wanted to think about. What if she thought about it and the Professor picked up her thoughts? That was terrifying because if he was constantly monitoring their thoughts then maybe Hank was right, but it also meant that the Professor would know that she really did know now and there wasn't anything she could do about it.
"Kiss me," she said.
They fell to the bed entangled in each others arms as he kissed her and kissed her and kissed her. She finally came up for air and almost squealing with delight, she ran her hands over his face and chest.
"What's so funny, eh?"
"Nothing."
"You might want to leave before I . . ."
"Oh, no you're not going to do anything to me!"
He laughed and kissed her again.
"Don't be so sure."
"No, you're not!"
"And why would I just let you get out of my bed when you're just as hot and horny as I am?"
"I'm not that easy, bub."
"I didn't say you were, bub."
"Maybe I should've said I'm a little different from the type of women you've been with before."
"Oh, brother! You're not going to get stuck on that Jean crap again are you?"
"Nope. Jean who?" she giggled.
He looked at her searchingly. "Doesn't it bother you about me taking that kid out?"
She leaned over and kissed him. "Sssh, I don't want to think about it. There's nothing we can do about it now. I wish there was but we can't. There's nothing we can do about a lot of things. Can't we just spend the night together and forget everything else?"
"You're spending the night in my room with me?"
"Yes, but no sex. I don't know you well enough for that."
"You've known me for a couple of years now, Ro."
"Duh! But we're – we haven't been . . . well, like we are now, now have we?"
"And how are we now?" he asked with a look that clearly told her and effectively took her breath away.
"You tell me," she barely breathed.
They looked at each other as if in a stalemate. The silence was electrifying – filled with unspoken emotions, the most potent of them . . . fear. Logan turned the light off then covered them both with his bedspread and wrapped an arm under her as she settled against him with her head on his chest.
"If you don't leave now I just might make you fall in love with me by time morning comes around," he said in a voice that was thick with lust and something more too.
"I-I already am," she said in a tiny voice.
"Me too," Logan whispered, holding her closer.
Outside the storm seemed to pick up and the sky shone briefly as lightning streaked through the air but they needed no light. Logan listened to the heartbeat that he had come to know so well and felt as if he could read her every feeling in those erratic beats. Ororo caressed his luxurious but now matted hair feeling for the first time this night that everything would be all right.
It was a long time before either of them drifted off but Logan didn't press her and neither of them felt the need for further words nor further embraces. So much was on their minds but neither had the courage to speak. They laid beside each other lost in their own thoughts and only when the storm had worn itself out hours later did they fall asleep.