March 2005
Hermione lay in the enormous bed she shared with her husband, curled up in the foetal position. Her face was drawn and pale. Her eyes were red. She had cried almost constantly for days. Just as she thought there were no more tears to be cried, they would begin again.
But now it seemed her eyes were finally dry. She felt hollow. Her hands rested on her belly, the place where a life used to be. A life they created together, she and Severus. He'd been so excited when he'd learned she was carrying his child. They were finally pregnant, after so many months of trying. And now he was gone. Their little boy was gone from their lives before they even knew him and he wasn't coming back.
"Sebastian….." she whispered.
They'd argued for so long over a name. She'd wanted Harrison, but of course he refused. Sounded too much like Harry. His choice was William, but her least favourite cousin had been called William and the name brought up too many bad memories. When they came across Sebastian, the first name they'd both loved, it was as if a light had been turned on and neither could figure out why it took them so long to decide. Now that they had chosen Sebastian, it seemed obvious that no other name could possibly have sufficed.
"Hermione? Love….." his soft voice pierced through her daydreams. She wished he would go away. How could she possibly face him? "Darling, please look at me."
His long, soft fingers caressed her cheek while his other hand covered hers on her stomach. They stayed that way for a long time. He leaned down to kiss her forehead.
"Please Hermione. Talk to me. You haven't spoken for days. I need to know that you're all right."
She looked up at him and immediately his heart broke. Her eyes were so full of disbelief and shame and sorrow. Fresh tears streamed down her cheeks.
"I wanted him so badly, Severus. I just wanted to hold my little boy."
Severus pulled her into his arms and finally let his own tears fall. "I know, darling. So did I."
"I don't know what happens next. What am I supposed to do now? I don't know what I'm meant to be doing. Please don't leave me."
"I love you so much, my love," he whispered, rocking her back and forth. "I love you so much. You're supposed to be here with me. That's what happens next. You stay here with me and I love you until the world disappears."
And that's what they did.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: No, this isn't the end. It was just a nice way of ending the chapter without being too abrupt. Sorry it's taken me so long to update, guys. I've had life issues. I'm hoping to update more regularly from now on, but please read and review so I know whether or not I should bother! Thanks.