Sorry for not updating. School, end of the year projects, worrying about being a junior next year, thinking of getting a job, but once my finals are over and I'm outta school I'll update a lot!

' ' = someone's thoughts

( )= my comments

Just as Botan fell from her chair, she was caught by Hiei. She opened her eyes and gazed upon his concerned glare. She loved him, and she knew he loved her. But why was it their love seemed impossible to her? Was she afraid of what others would think? What her friends would think? Was she embarrassed? All these questions racing through her mind about the man she loved. She couldn't take it, looking into the eyes of a man who would give everything up for her in an instant, she just couldn't take it.

Botan leaped out of Hiei's arms and dashed for the door. She raced down the stairs and once she reached the front door, she hesitated to turn the door knob. 'Think Botan, up in that room is the man of your dreams. Why are you going to abandon him, and rape him of his deepest desires?'

Tears welled up in Botan's eyes, she couldn't take it. Without another thought she ran out the door and all the way to her apartment. She couldn't look back. She couldn't see those pained crimson eyes. Why was she so afraid?

'Botan, you know you want his baby! Why do you have to be such a coward! COWARD!!!! THAT'S ALL YOU'LL EVER BE!!! You'll always be a scared, weak little coward.'

Botan was literally screaming at herself. Yelling and calling herself a coward. But, it's not like it wasn't the truth.

Noone had seen Botan in a week. She locked herself in her apartment and sulked all day long. She stayed in her room all week, she didn't eat, or sleep, use the bathroom, and she wasn't bored. She locked herself in her room on Wednesday, and now it was Wednesday, except a week later.

Botan sighed to herself, and got on her feet for the first time in days. She was wobbly at first but then got used to it. She couldn't believe she wasn't dead. She hadn't drunk anything in a week, but then again, demons can go for months without water. Botan opened the door to her bathroom. She walked to the mirror and looked at herself with disgust. Her once bouncy and perky blue hair was now flat and pitch black. And her once innocent, bubbly and happy cotton-candy eyes, were now a malice, deep crimson. Botan covered her eyes at the sight they brought to her. She fell to the floor, trembling. How could she have not noticed the physical change she had? Was she herself. She let out a chocked cry, she didn't even sound like herself. Her voice wasn't that cheery, annoying chirp like it used to, it was a calm and velvety voice, almost like the wind it was so soft. If she hadn't been herself she wouldn't have known it was her.

Botan took a shower, and got dressed. She was sick of being cooped up all day in the god-forbidden apartment for too long.

The night was young, and Botan thought she would go see the others, and since it was summer, she was more than certain the gang would be free.

She figured she would try Yusuke's first. As she neared the door, she knocked before she heard laughter, stumbling and a crash until the door finally opened. A drunk Yusuke appeared at the door, with a drunk Shizuru snickering at something and Kuwabara trying to sustain her. Yusuke blinked at the girl in front of him, she wore a gray sweatshirt, with green capris (did I spell that right? Pronounced, ka-P-rEEs) that stopped right above her ankles and a regular pair of shoes. She had her hood on so he couldn't see her face, all he saw was a pair of dark red eyes. As he looked her over, his head went up and down, searching for something on her he found familiar. He smirked as he neared his head to her breasts and tried to feel them. Botan's eye-brows twitched as she hit him on the head with her trusty bat and pushed him aside.

Yusuke finally spoke up and said, "Who are you?"

Botan lowered her head in despair and replied, "You mean you don't know?" She gasped at how calm and soothing her voice sounded, she knew it had changed when she was crying, but she didn't know it had changed THAT much. She sighed as she removed her hood, and even then, he didn't know.

Just as he was about to say something, Hiei, Kurama, Keiko and Yukina came with food from the store. "Finally!" Yusuke screamed.

"By the way, do any of you guys know this girl?" He said rather annoyed.

"Yusuke, it's me.....B-" She wasn't sure, was she Botan? Or was she someone else?

Kurama stepped forward and said, "........B-Botan.....?"

She nodded, never lifting her head up, fearing that they would be disgusted at how much she changed. Kurama stepped closer and hugged her while she cried. Her entire body racked as she managed to choke out, "I.......I WANNA CHANGE B-ah-ah-AAACK!!!!"

Kurama whispered to her, "Then you.....you have to...."

She stood up and screamed, "I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO FUCKING DO!!!!" Her anger was boiling up inside her, and since she was a demon she was probably much stronger, and since she didn't want to hurt anyone, she left.

The entire scene played again and again in front of Hiei, in just seconds. To him, it didn't make a difference what she looked like, she was beautiful to him either way. Hiei knew he would never say, or dare think anything like that. She had changed him, but for the better he guessed.

He dropped his groceries and headed out the door, if she wasn't happy, Hiei wasn't happy. And if she wanted to change back, he sure as hell was gonna change her back, whether she was willing or not, she WOULD be changed back, and he was going to be the one to do it.