MoonDeity: Wow, reviews were flooding my inbox! Thanks to the anonymous reviewers and to the reviewers who have accounts. And I apologize if it has seemed like I haven't updated in a week. I was on vacation (Hey, even writers get vacations!) in Phoenix, Arizona. Great place, I stayed at the Boulders Resort. It was crawling with lizards, bunnies, quails, and coyotes. But since I felt guilty abandoning my fics, I took my laptop with me to the poolside and worked my butt off. Ok, so I only got one chapter done. But it's the thought that counts, right? Please enjoy Chapter 3; it took forever to get perfect...(it has a lot of RobStar romance, but I worked hard to make it funny)
Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans or Slade. The hot-dog girl is an idea belonging to Raven the Sorceress. And the hula cucumbers were a hallucination belonging to my brother's socks.
Chapter 3
"We have arrived!" Starfire exclaimed excitedly.
She dropped her captured friend's ankles with a plop and started to dance weirdly in front of the door to the Surf Shack. Raven just lay there like a board with her face in the sand.
"Oh Raven, this is so exciting! Finally I may help you choose a spandex bathing outfit! I am sure your appearance in the suit will help Beastboy be 'turned on'."
Raven lifted her face out of the sand and stared at Starfire disgustedly.
"I hope I don't turn him on Star. Besides..."
Raven looked away.
"I don't look good in a swimsuit."
Starfire grabbed the Goth's shoulders and yanked her upright.
"But friend Raven! How could you say that? You always wear that dark bodysuit that shows off your legs marvelously and is fairly tight fitting. I know that it is 'hot' because I have caught our green friend Beastboy 'checking you out' numerous times!" she said as she dusted sand off the Goth's bodysuit.
Raven was frowned, but before she could say anything, Starfire whisked her into the Surf Shack. Inside, it was cool and quiet. A ceiling fan twirled lazily over the racks of swimsuits and beach toys. A sandy-haired male slumped at the cash register reading an issue of Beach Babes.
Starfire guided Raven to the back of the women's swimsuit section and found her a dressing room. After seating her friend inside, the Tameranean proceeded to zoom about collecting suits.
"This is an amusing fuchsia suit!"
"No."
"Here is an adorable petal pink!"
"No."
"Perhaps this subtle dusty rose?"
"No."
"Maybe a delightful maroon one-piece?"
"No."
"A light-purple tankini?'
"No."
"A sweet yellow flowered suit?"
"No."
"This fiery orange bikini?"
"No."
"This pleasing baby-blue?"
"No."
"A cheery red outfit?"
"No."
"Then this lime flowered skirt!"
"Ew. No."
Starfire sighed and tossed the suit into a pile labeled "Rejects".
"But Raven! That was the last bright happy bathing outfit! All that is left now are these depressing dark purple, blue, and black outfits!"
Raven rolled her eyes and grabbed the bundle of suits out of Starfire's hands.
"Duh, Starfire. I'm not going to wear some silly bright suit. I like these much more. See yah."
And with that, Raven disappeared inside the dressing room, leaving her unfortunate Tameranean friend to wait outside.
Thirty minutes later, Raven had finally made her decision. She unlatched the dressing room's door and modeled it for her friend. Starfire clapped her hands with ecstasy when she saw Raven.
The Goth had chosen a suit with black bikini bottoms. Her top was dark blue, showing a little cleavage (ok, a lot of cleavage) and it tied in the back. Starfire twirled around happily.
"Oh Raven, you look most defiantly 'hot'! I am sure Beastboy will be overcome when he views you!"
Raven rolled her eyes and made her way toward the cash register. The blonde teen scanned the tags and rang up the total. After paying, Star dragged her Gothic friend back to the camp sight.
The boys were already eating when they arrived. Once Beastboy saw Raven, he couldn't take his eyes off her. It now was his turn to have drool coming out of his mouth. The Goth sat down on the blanket beside the Changeling and calmly dished herself some potato salad. Beastboy crawled worm-style over to her and drooled on her knee. Raven rolled her eyes, but let him stay there.
Starfire, on the other hand, sat down beside Robin, who was curiously eyeing her. After getting herself some mustard, Star inched closer to Robin, one hand behind her back. The Boy Wonder also scooted closer, one hand snaking suspiciously behind Starfire. Raven looked up from her hot dog and noticed the curious facial expressions on the pair. Reaching out with her mind, she discovered the unusual location of Robin's hand. Looking inside their minds, she was overcome by waves of lust. Raven shook her head and turned to stop Beastboy from drooling on the coleslaw. Robin and Starfire seemed glued to each other and Star was choking on her mustard. Robin had a strangely happy expression on his face as he munched on a hamburger. Suddenly, Starfire shot up from her spot on the blanket. She grinned apologetically at Raven and Beastboy and said,
"Most sorry, friends. But Robin and I need to use the...um...the restroom facilities."
Robin looked confused and was about to say something, but Star grabbed his wrists and yanked him upright. The pair trotted off, stumbling and giggling madly, toward the bathrooms. Raven rolled her eyes and shoved a drooling Beastboy off her. She smacked him twice on his face and he immediately snapped out of it.
"Ablagh...huh? What? Oh...heh heh. Sorry, Rae."
Raven stood up and wiped the drool off her legs. She faced the awkward green one and sighed to herself.
"Great, just great. I'm stuck with the drooling green elf for who knows how long. Oh God, Star and Robin...please hurry back..."
Meanwhile....Behind the restrooms....
"Oh! Goodness, Robin. Are you sure this is the practice teens do when they 'like' each other?"
Robin looked up and nodded. As soon as the two Titans had made it to the restrooms, Robin dived on Starfire and proceeded to make out with her. The Tameranean giggled as he nibbled at her ear. Robin took her face between his hands and deeply kissed her. Star groaned with delight and kissed his neck.
"Robin?"
"Yes, Starfire?"
"Does this mean we shall be married? You did set out that feast and on my planet..."
The Boy Wonder sighed and stroked Star's face.
"Actually, Star, we are too young to be married. And that was a picnic, not a marriage banquet."
"Oh..."
The Tameranean looked disappointed. Robin noticed and took her face between his hands. Kissing her lips, Robin smiled at her.
"Tell you what, Starfire. We can be 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend', ok?"
Star wrapped her arms around Robin and looked thoughtful.
"What is this 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend'?"
The Boy Wonder kissed Starfire's cheek.
"It means I take you out to romantic places. It's called 'dating'."
Starfire blinked her emerald eyes at her new "boyfriend".
"Shall we still be allowed to exchange saliva in a pleasing way?"
Robin chuckled and stroked the Tameranean's hair.
"Yes, I promise. And it's called 'kissing', by the way."
Starfire giggled and nuzzled Robin.
"I think I like the 'kissing' part the best," she whispered.
Robin brought his face closer to Starfire's.
"Me too..."
The pair's lips were almost touching; a kiss was near....when suddenly...
"May I interest you in purchasing this CD player?"
Robin screamed like a little girl and jumped two feet in the air off Starfire. The Boy Wonder landed right at the feet of the annoying hot-dog sales girl, who was holding a CD player out expectantly. His girlfriend sat up and confusedly poked his side.
"Boyfriend Robin? Why does the talking wiener interrupt our activities?"
Robin glared up at the sales girl, one eye twitching in annoyance.
"Don't worry Starfire...she's going to get what she deserves!"
But before he could react, something lifted the hot-dog girl from behind. She kicked and squealed, but the invisible force hurled her on the bathroom's roof. Robin and Star turned to behold the attacker.
It was a cucumber. Not only was it a cucumber, but a hula-skirt wearing cucumber. The vegetable bowed at the stunned couple.
"Goodness, that young lady was annoying. Are you two unharmed?"
Robin and Starfire nodded weakly as though their necks were made of Jell-O. The cucumber nodded and said,
"Well, it was a pleasure to save you. Now if you please, I must get back to my master."
Robin held up one finger and raised an eyebrow at the vegetable.
"Wait a second...what master? Cucumbers have masters?"
The cucumber raised an invisible eyebrow at the Boy Wonder.
"Of course I have a master, do you live in a box? Ah, here he comes now."
A large shadow over-hung the green plant and a subtle, familiar voice said,
"Thank you George. That will be all."
The cucumber bowed and exited between the legs of Slade. Yes, the Speedo- wearing maniac was back, only he had a pina-colada in hand. Slade moved himself so that his crotch was directly above the two Titans.
"So, Titans, what do you think of my cucumber army? Most frightening, aren't they?"
Robin started to sweat and he stuttered out his answer.
"Uh...heh-heh....um, yeah, pulverizing...uh, Slade?"
Slade looked up from admiring his perfectly manicured nails. Beside Robin, Starfire let out a little moan and buried her face in her boyfriend's arm.
"Oh, boyfriend Robin, please make Slade move himself...the view here is most unpleasant..."
The Boy Wonder's face turned bright red.
"Uh, yeah Slade. Would you mind moving yourself? And what the heck are you doing standing over us anyway?"
Slade sighed and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.
"Actually, young Titans, I came here not to torment you with my overly- tight swimsuit. I came here to offer you this pina-colada. You see, I have no mouth, thus, I cannot drink it."
Slade set the yellow drink in front of the two Titans. Robin raised his eyebrow.
"Uh, you know you could just take the mask off..."
Slade laughed sarcastically.
"No, Robin, no. Besides, I have no time for delicious liquids. I have my cucumber army to train and a hoard of attractive women waiting for me. Farewell!"
Slade skipped off strangely. Robin set the drink aside.
"I guess Slade forgot we're too young to drink, right Star? Uh, Star? Star...fire?"
The Tameranean was looking very strangely at Robin. She inched her butt toward him and leaned over.
"Robin, I think the hot-dog sales-woman interrupted some of our activities. May we continue them?"
The Boy Wonder grinned at the Tameranean and brought his face close to hers.
"Do you remember where we were, Star? I know I do..."
Meanwhile...At the Titan's Tower...
Cyborg tightened the last bolt on the air conditioning and stood back to admire his work. A welcome breeze now wafted around Titan's Tower. The half-man half-machine wiped his brow and glanced at the built in clock on his arm.
"Wow, the guys aren't supposed to be back from the beach for at least eight hours! Which means..."
Cyborg rummaged under the sofa and held up a cell phone mischievously.
"...it's time to make some calls..."
He pushed some buttons and leaned back on the couch.
"Yo, Charlene? Forget the movie, I've got something better planned..."
Meanwhile...Back at the Picnic Sight...
MoonDeity: (Rubs hands together and laughs madly) What IS Cyborg planning? Will Raven survive being with Beastboy all alone? Will Robin and Starfire ever detach themselves from each other? Will Slade ever stop being a dork? It might take some time to find out...as I plan to lock myself in my basement and play PS2 sagas for a week, surviving mainly on mass-produced green tea and Triscuts! Wish me luck! And I'll get that next chapter up if I don't die from malnutrition. Oh yeah, and I got a review from someone named Kimohno, but they didn't have a user profile. They gave me Slade pick-up lines, which were hilarious! Kimohno, if you are out there, review this and e-mail me, your lines were drop-dead funny!
Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans or Slade. The hot-dog girl is an idea belonging to Raven the Sorceress. And the hula cucumbers were a hallucination belonging to my brother's socks.
Chapter 3
"We have arrived!" Starfire exclaimed excitedly.
She dropped her captured friend's ankles with a plop and started to dance weirdly in front of the door to the Surf Shack. Raven just lay there like a board with her face in the sand.
"Oh Raven, this is so exciting! Finally I may help you choose a spandex bathing outfit! I am sure your appearance in the suit will help Beastboy be 'turned on'."
Raven lifted her face out of the sand and stared at Starfire disgustedly.
"I hope I don't turn him on Star. Besides..."
Raven looked away.
"I don't look good in a swimsuit."
Starfire grabbed the Goth's shoulders and yanked her upright.
"But friend Raven! How could you say that? You always wear that dark bodysuit that shows off your legs marvelously and is fairly tight fitting. I know that it is 'hot' because I have caught our green friend Beastboy 'checking you out' numerous times!" she said as she dusted sand off the Goth's bodysuit.
Raven was frowned, but before she could say anything, Starfire whisked her into the Surf Shack. Inside, it was cool and quiet. A ceiling fan twirled lazily over the racks of swimsuits and beach toys. A sandy-haired male slumped at the cash register reading an issue of Beach Babes.
Starfire guided Raven to the back of the women's swimsuit section and found her a dressing room. After seating her friend inside, the Tameranean proceeded to zoom about collecting suits.
"This is an amusing fuchsia suit!"
"No."
"Here is an adorable petal pink!"
"No."
"Perhaps this subtle dusty rose?"
"No."
"Maybe a delightful maroon one-piece?"
"No."
"A light-purple tankini?'
"No."
"A sweet yellow flowered suit?"
"No."
"This fiery orange bikini?"
"No."
"This pleasing baby-blue?"
"No."
"A cheery red outfit?"
"No."
"Then this lime flowered skirt!"
"Ew. No."
Starfire sighed and tossed the suit into a pile labeled "Rejects".
"But Raven! That was the last bright happy bathing outfit! All that is left now are these depressing dark purple, blue, and black outfits!"
Raven rolled her eyes and grabbed the bundle of suits out of Starfire's hands.
"Duh, Starfire. I'm not going to wear some silly bright suit. I like these much more. See yah."
And with that, Raven disappeared inside the dressing room, leaving her unfortunate Tameranean friend to wait outside.
Thirty minutes later, Raven had finally made her decision. She unlatched the dressing room's door and modeled it for her friend. Starfire clapped her hands with ecstasy when she saw Raven.
The Goth had chosen a suit with black bikini bottoms. Her top was dark blue, showing a little cleavage (ok, a lot of cleavage) and it tied in the back. Starfire twirled around happily.
"Oh Raven, you look most defiantly 'hot'! I am sure Beastboy will be overcome when he views you!"
Raven rolled her eyes and made her way toward the cash register. The blonde teen scanned the tags and rang up the total. After paying, Star dragged her Gothic friend back to the camp sight.
The boys were already eating when they arrived. Once Beastboy saw Raven, he couldn't take his eyes off her. It now was his turn to have drool coming out of his mouth. The Goth sat down on the blanket beside the Changeling and calmly dished herself some potato salad. Beastboy crawled worm-style over to her and drooled on her knee. Raven rolled her eyes, but let him stay there.
Starfire, on the other hand, sat down beside Robin, who was curiously eyeing her. After getting herself some mustard, Star inched closer to Robin, one hand behind her back. The Boy Wonder also scooted closer, one hand snaking suspiciously behind Starfire. Raven looked up from her hot dog and noticed the curious facial expressions on the pair. Reaching out with her mind, she discovered the unusual location of Robin's hand. Looking inside their minds, she was overcome by waves of lust. Raven shook her head and turned to stop Beastboy from drooling on the coleslaw. Robin and Starfire seemed glued to each other and Star was choking on her mustard. Robin had a strangely happy expression on his face as he munched on a hamburger. Suddenly, Starfire shot up from her spot on the blanket. She grinned apologetically at Raven and Beastboy and said,
"Most sorry, friends. But Robin and I need to use the...um...the restroom facilities."
Robin looked confused and was about to say something, but Star grabbed his wrists and yanked him upright. The pair trotted off, stumbling and giggling madly, toward the bathrooms. Raven rolled her eyes and shoved a drooling Beastboy off her. She smacked him twice on his face and he immediately snapped out of it.
"Ablagh...huh? What? Oh...heh heh. Sorry, Rae."
Raven stood up and wiped the drool off her legs. She faced the awkward green one and sighed to herself.
"Great, just great. I'm stuck with the drooling green elf for who knows how long. Oh God, Star and Robin...please hurry back..."
Meanwhile....Behind the restrooms....
"Oh! Goodness, Robin. Are you sure this is the practice teens do when they 'like' each other?"
Robin looked up and nodded. As soon as the two Titans had made it to the restrooms, Robin dived on Starfire and proceeded to make out with her. The Tameranean giggled as he nibbled at her ear. Robin took her face between his hands and deeply kissed her. Star groaned with delight and kissed his neck.
"Robin?"
"Yes, Starfire?"
"Does this mean we shall be married? You did set out that feast and on my planet..."
The Boy Wonder sighed and stroked Star's face.
"Actually, Star, we are too young to be married. And that was a picnic, not a marriage banquet."
"Oh..."
The Tameranean looked disappointed. Robin noticed and took her face between his hands. Kissing her lips, Robin smiled at her.
"Tell you what, Starfire. We can be 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend', ok?"
Star wrapped her arms around Robin and looked thoughtful.
"What is this 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend'?"
The Boy Wonder kissed Starfire's cheek.
"It means I take you out to romantic places. It's called 'dating'."
Starfire blinked her emerald eyes at her new "boyfriend".
"Shall we still be allowed to exchange saliva in a pleasing way?"
Robin chuckled and stroked the Tameranean's hair.
"Yes, I promise. And it's called 'kissing', by the way."
Starfire giggled and nuzzled Robin.
"I think I like the 'kissing' part the best," she whispered.
Robin brought his face closer to Starfire's.
"Me too..."
The pair's lips were almost touching; a kiss was near....when suddenly...
"May I interest you in purchasing this CD player?"
Robin screamed like a little girl and jumped two feet in the air off Starfire. The Boy Wonder landed right at the feet of the annoying hot-dog sales girl, who was holding a CD player out expectantly. His girlfriend sat up and confusedly poked his side.
"Boyfriend Robin? Why does the talking wiener interrupt our activities?"
Robin glared up at the sales girl, one eye twitching in annoyance.
"Don't worry Starfire...she's going to get what she deserves!"
But before he could react, something lifted the hot-dog girl from behind. She kicked and squealed, but the invisible force hurled her on the bathroom's roof. Robin and Star turned to behold the attacker.
It was a cucumber. Not only was it a cucumber, but a hula-skirt wearing cucumber. The vegetable bowed at the stunned couple.
"Goodness, that young lady was annoying. Are you two unharmed?"
Robin and Starfire nodded weakly as though their necks were made of Jell-O. The cucumber nodded and said,
"Well, it was a pleasure to save you. Now if you please, I must get back to my master."
Robin held up one finger and raised an eyebrow at the vegetable.
"Wait a second...what master? Cucumbers have masters?"
The cucumber raised an invisible eyebrow at the Boy Wonder.
"Of course I have a master, do you live in a box? Ah, here he comes now."
A large shadow over-hung the green plant and a subtle, familiar voice said,
"Thank you George. That will be all."
The cucumber bowed and exited between the legs of Slade. Yes, the Speedo- wearing maniac was back, only he had a pina-colada in hand. Slade moved himself so that his crotch was directly above the two Titans.
"So, Titans, what do you think of my cucumber army? Most frightening, aren't they?"
Robin started to sweat and he stuttered out his answer.
"Uh...heh-heh....um, yeah, pulverizing...uh, Slade?"
Slade looked up from admiring his perfectly manicured nails. Beside Robin, Starfire let out a little moan and buried her face in her boyfriend's arm.
"Oh, boyfriend Robin, please make Slade move himself...the view here is most unpleasant..."
The Boy Wonder's face turned bright red.
"Uh, yeah Slade. Would you mind moving yourself? And what the heck are you doing standing over us anyway?"
Slade sighed and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.
"Actually, young Titans, I came here not to torment you with my overly- tight swimsuit. I came here to offer you this pina-colada. You see, I have no mouth, thus, I cannot drink it."
Slade set the yellow drink in front of the two Titans. Robin raised his eyebrow.
"Uh, you know you could just take the mask off..."
Slade laughed sarcastically.
"No, Robin, no. Besides, I have no time for delicious liquids. I have my cucumber army to train and a hoard of attractive women waiting for me. Farewell!"
Slade skipped off strangely. Robin set the drink aside.
"I guess Slade forgot we're too young to drink, right Star? Uh, Star? Star...fire?"
The Tameranean was looking very strangely at Robin. She inched her butt toward him and leaned over.
"Robin, I think the hot-dog sales-woman interrupted some of our activities. May we continue them?"
The Boy Wonder grinned at the Tameranean and brought his face close to hers.
"Do you remember where we were, Star? I know I do..."
Meanwhile...At the Titan's Tower...
Cyborg tightened the last bolt on the air conditioning and stood back to admire his work. A welcome breeze now wafted around Titan's Tower. The half-man half-machine wiped his brow and glanced at the built in clock on his arm.
"Wow, the guys aren't supposed to be back from the beach for at least eight hours! Which means..."
Cyborg rummaged under the sofa and held up a cell phone mischievously.
"...it's time to make some calls..."
He pushed some buttons and leaned back on the couch.
"Yo, Charlene? Forget the movie, I've got something better planned..."
Meanwhile...Back at the Picnic Sight...
MoonDeity: (Rubs hands together and laughs madly) What IS Cyborg planning? Will Raven survive being with Beastboy all alone? Will Robin and Starfire ever detach themselves from each other? Will Slade ever stop being a dork? It might take some time to find out...as I plan to lock myself in my basement and play PS2 sagas for a week, surviving mainly on mass-produced green tea and Triscuts! Wish me luck! And I'll get that next chapter up if I don't die from malnutrition. Oh yeah, and I got a review from someone named Kimohno, but they didn't have a user profile. They gave me Slade pick-up lines, which were hilarious! Kimohno, if you are out there, review this and e-mail me, your lines were drop-dead funny!