MoonDeity: Wheee!!! Thank-you reviewers, and I sincerely apologize for the
nastiness in the last chapter. This be the second-to-last chapter, and it
features the couples (BB&Rae, Rob&Star) plus a certain Speedo-wearing
villain and...well, I'm not going to give it away. Yes, that means you
actually have to READ the chapter, sorry. I'm trying to be more
descriptive, as I fear that some of the reviewers may have gotten lost in
the storyline and all.
Disclaimer: All the Teen Titans characters, good or bad, are property of the person who one day picked up a pencil and created them. I'm just renting them at Rent-A-Character. And Slade's pick-up lines were created by Kimonho aka Chicgeek. The hot-dog girl is property of Raven the Sorceress as well as some of the ideas in this story.
Chapter 5
After all the horrors that had taken place on Jump Beach that day, the evening was actually quite relaxed. The setting sun had cast a certain spell over the normally hyper beachgoers and the chaotic beach was now a dreamy, peaceful atmosphere. The streams of amber light turned the beach a golden color, the ocean water was a dark purple as the light played off it. Even the obnoxious hot-dog girl was gone. Beach officials were lighting anti-mosquito torches and setting up decorations for what looked like a tiki party. Robin and Starfire made their way back to the abandoned camp. The two had eventually detached themselves from each other because their stomachs were rumbling. Starfire still clung to Robin's arm as Slade passed by, his Speedo tighter than ever. At the same time Robin and Star arrived at the camp and sat down, Beastboy and Raven popped up. Raven was strangely quiet, but she was holding the Changeling's hand very tightly. Beastboy, on the other hand, was covered in sticky smoothie from his toes to the tips of his pointed ears. The two sat down across from Robin and Starfire. The Boy Wonder raised an eyebrow at the sticky green one.
"What the heck happened to you, Beastboy?"
The Changeling groaned in response.
"Raven and I were going to get some smoothies, but the stupid guy serving them to us tripped over the hot-dog girl and spilled the smoothie all over me! Good news is that the hot-dog girl is at the hospital. The bad news is that my hot bod is covered in sticky and the management got two new substitutes for the hot-dog girl."
"Who are they?" Starfire and Robin asked at the same time.
Beastboy gulped and hid himself behind Raven.
"Terra and Kitten."
Right on cue, the two obnoxious and hated blondes popped up on opposite sides of the blanket. Terra loomed ominously on Raven and Beastboy's side, and Kitten towered meanly on Robin and Starfire's side. Both looked absolutely horrible in their hot-dog outfits. Kitten was practically buried in the merchandise, so only her big fat mouth stuck out of the jungle of purses and Cheetos®. And Terra's outfit was too small, the folds sagged around her non-existent figure. She leaned down and pulled on Beastboy's ear playfully.
"Hey Beastboy. You remember me? I'll bet you missed me, being stuck in that crummy old tower with some goth, a robot, an alien and an obsessive compulsive, huh?"
Beastboy glared up at the blonde and wrapped his arm protectively around Raven.
"I wish I had forgotten you, Terra. For your information, I just successfully asked that 'goth' out on a date. And you know what, Terra? That 'goth' is really hot!!"
Terra snorted, half out of disbelief that she was rejected and half out of sarcasm.
"It looks like you're wearing that date from your toes up to your ears, Beastboy. Did you fall into the smoothie? Poor baby."
The Changeling stuttered, searching for a comeback. Raven's eyes glowed a dangerous white. On the other side of the blanket, their comrades were getting the same kind of treatment from Kitten. The blonde waved cutely to Robin.
"Hiyah Robby-poo. Remember your kitten? I was just in the neighborhood, so I thought I'd stop by and check up on my 'widdle poo."
Robin's eyes grew big and round and he scooted behind Starfire, whose eyes turned a dangerous emerald green. She pointed an accusing finger at Kitten and said,
"Robin is not your poo, he is MY poo! I do not know what this 'poo' means, but you keep your hands off my boy, do you hear?"
Kitten huffed and remarked, "Oh, how sweet, you two are together now. But that doesn't mean I can't take my poo back!"
Kitten reached behind Starfire and grabbed Robin by the tips of his hair and started to drag him through the sand. The Boy Wonder screamed in pain. His girlfriend shrieked vengefully and grabbed his ankles, while shooting lasers from her eyes at Kitten. The blonde tugged forcefully at Robin's hair, but a blast from Starfire sent her tumbling. Star released her boyfriend's feet and leapt on Kitten, screaming Tameranean was cries at the unfortunate prep. Back with Raven and Beastboy, Terra was victim to Raven's emotion-driven powers.
"YOU THINK I'M SOME GOTH?? I'LL SHOW YOU GOTH!!"
Terra screamed in agony as Raven's black energy tore her hot-dog suit to shreds. Beastboy leaped on his girlfriend and held her back by the arms.
"No Rae! Don't....kill...the...fag..." he grunted in excursion. The Goth flailed her black-energy fists and black lightening crackled out of the stone on her brow. Terra was breathing heavily as she picked the remnants of her hot-dog costume off her blue bikini.
"Ooff!"
Starfire had thrown Kitten into Terra, the blonde's hot-dog costume also in shreds. They lay in a heap as both of the female Titans were held back. So much for a peaceful, relaxing evening. Suddenly, Kitten and Terra were lifted off each other and started to hover across the sand away from the screaming, vengeful Titanesses. Robin squinted at them and located the green bottoms of...cucumbers.
"Cucumbers! Over here..."
The Titans turned to follow the voice of Slade. The psycho was sitting grandly upon a throne made of Popsicle sticks, with his broads surrounding him and guarded by a mass of cucumbers wielding glue bottles as weapons. The Titans followed the vegetables carrying Terra and Kitten to the perimeter of the cucumber guards, then waited and watched. The cucumbers deposited Kitten and Terra at Slade's feet with a plop. The Speedo wearing psycho patted and praised each cucumber for carrying them to him. After that, he turned to the ragged blondes wearing bikinis. Kitten's was a swimsuit made of (predictably) pink material. And she looked pretty good in it for Kitten. Slade pulled her up on his knee first for that reason. Terra, on the other hand, looked more ugly than normal. Her blue bikini top hung off her frame like a dead animal. And her triangle bottom cut into her stomach, making her fat squish over the top. She couldn't have picked a more hideous cut for herself if she tried.
Slade hesitantly pulled her up as well. Kitten and Terra squirmed viciously, but cucumber guards pointed their glue bottles at them menacingly, so they sat still on Slade's knee.
"I suppose you are wondering why you are sitting on my lap and why my cucumber guards rescued you, hm?"
Terra and Kitten looked up at Slade, then looked down and nearly fainted. Slade glanced at his Speedo, which was now shrunken down to three times its previous size. Not a pleasant view at all for the little blondes. Slade sighed wistfully.
"You see, my hated blondes, I have been patronizing a certain website in search for love. I may have my broads around me, but I need someone significant (they're just my loyal slaves for life). So, now that I have found you...no more villainmatch.com for me!"
And with that, Slade pounced on Terra and Kitten and started to make out with them. The unfortunate blondes squealed and shrieked.
"Ewww!!! Psycho germs! Like, totally gross!"
"Did someone like, say, like? Omigosh, it's, like, Kitten! And like, some other ugly person!"
The Titans, Slade, and the hated blondes turned to a herd of preps on top of a sand dune. They were all ugly, all pink, and all HAPPY. They stampeded over poor innocent beachgoers over to Slade's throne. His cucumber guards pointed their glue bottles menacingly. One fired a warning glob at them. It, tragically, landed on one of the prep's hair. She screamed and clawed at the glue, but it was of no avail. The substance was quick drying, and the prep's hair was soon lost.
"NOOO!!!! KATIE, LIKE, DON'T FALL INTO A BAD-HAIR DAY!!!"
The prep herd wept over their fallen member. The cucumber soldiers looked as confused as the Titans did. Kitten leapt over Terra, over Slade and his vegetable army, and into the arms of her fellow preps. They gave each other pecks on the cheek.
"Omigod! It's, like, totally awesome to see you, Kitten! That was, like, sooooo not cool when you were, like, recruited for that lousy hot-dog girl job!" ,one of the preps exclaimed.
"I, like, totally agree." ,another one stated. "You, like, couldn't even, like, accessorize with these totally plush mustard earrings! Talk about, like, a wet blanket, you know."
The Titans were fascinated by the preps and their dialect. Having not experienced preps first hand, they were oooing and ahhhing over their happy behavior. All of them...except one goth. Raven was frozen rigid- partly because of the preps being less than five meters away, and partly because of her friends being completely curious about them. Beastboy noticed, and waved his hand in front of Raven's staring eyes.
"Rae? Are you okay, Ravi? Yoo-hoo...Rae-Rae..."
The Goth's lips moved slightly and she whispered one word:
"APA."
The Changeling's eyes grew wide and he took a step backward. He put up his hands cautiously.
"No, Rave, no APA. Sanity, Rae! Sanity...no, don't look at me that way...RAVEN!! NOOO!!1"
But it was too late. Raven leapt over her fellow Titans and in the midst of the prep herd.
"DIE, SCUM OF THIS PLANET!!!"
"Noo!! Raven, resist the APA!!"
Starfire and Robin watched with wide eyes as Raven devastated the preps. The Goth shrieked with a deadly force as she laid black energy blows left to right, scattering the pinkness. Robin tapped his green friend.
"Uh, Beastboy? What's APA?"
The Changeling looked sadly up at his friends.
"APA stands for Automatic Prep Annihilation. Raven has fallen victim to its grip...just like many other Goths, weirdoes, oddballs, retards, and perverts across the globe. "
Beastboy emphasized his statement by making a wide sweep of his hand to symbolize a planet. Robin raised an eyebrow.
"And APA would be a bad thing how...???"
The Changeling opened his mouth to respond, but then he closed it and paused in consideration. He then smiled and shrugged.
"I guess it isn't so bad after a—"
A beeping coming from his waistband interrupted the Green One. It was a small gadget in the shape of a Juicy Fruit pack. He glanced at it, then a weird look came over his face.
"The time has come..."
Robin and Starfire looked at Beastboy curiously. The Green One raised his arms to the heavens above and yelled,
"OH JUICY FRUIT FOLLOWERS, THE TIME HAS COME TO RISE FORTH! WE SHALL TAKE BACK WHAT IS OURS! ATTACK THE BEARER!"
Beastboy pointed to Terra, who was sitting innocently on Slade's knee. She clasped her hands and turned her big, blue eyes on the Changeling.
"What Juicy Fruit? I have no such thing!"
The Green One was suddenly surrounded by an angry mob bearing torches, pitchforks, and moldy shortbread cookies. They were all wearing T-shirts with a Juicy Fruit logo on the front.
"We are the Juicy Fruit Followers!" they chanted in unison, directing their comments to the wide-eyed Robin and Starfire. Beastboy leapt on top of a rock so that the mob could hear his voice.
"She has Juicy Fruit!" Beastboy yelled, waving a cookie in the air, pointing at Terra.
"GET HER!!"
Terra screamed and leaped off Slade's lap. She sprinted past Raven beating up Kitten and on down the beach. Beastboy, at the head of his mob, chased after her, chanting,
"Juicy Fruit! Juicy Fruit!"
Starfire and Robin were suddenly all alone on the sand. Slade looked at the Titans, sighed miserably, and snapped his fingers at his cucumbers. The green vegetables carried the heart-broken Slade away from the noise and on down the beach to search for new love. Robin fidgeted slightly, not knowing what to do alone with Starfire. Alone and hungry...with Starfire. Flickering torches and music caught his attention off to the side. The delectable aroma of food wafted on the summer night breeze. There was a tiki party going on up the beach. The Boy Wonder caught Starfire's hand and gestured toward the party.
"Hey Star. Ever do the limbo?"
Starfire looked surprised, but then smiled when she realized Robin was going to teach her something new. Her boyfriend led her down the beach, chattering all the way.
To Be Continued....
MoonDeity: Well friends, last chapter is coming up next. But don't be sad! I have many more ideas for more Titans fics coming up. I have to write a script for my silly little bro's movie, so look for a One-Shot. Again, thank-you to Kimohono aka Chicgeek as well as Raven the Sorceress. Look for more of Kimohono aka Chicgeek in the next chapter! This chapter was revised because poolsofsorrow called to my attention the blonde comment in the description of the prep herd. "They were all blonde, all pink, and all HAPPY." That was an extremely ignorant comment and I should have been more conscientious of the fact that not all blondes are preps. I greatly apologize to anyone who read that segment and was offended; it was wrong on my behalf. Thank you to poolsofsorrow for noticing that mistake.
Disclaimer: All the Teen Titans characters, good or bad, are property of the person who one day picked up a pencil and created them. I'm just renting them at Rent-A-Character. And Slade's pick-up lines were created by Kimonho aka Chicgeek. The hot-dog girl is property of Raven the Sorceress as well as some of the ideas in this story.
Chapter 5
After all the horrors that had taken place on Jump Beach that day, the evening was actually quite relaxed. The setting sun had cast a certain spell over the normally hyper beachgoers and the chaotic beach was now a dreamy, peaceful atmosphere. The streams of amber light turned the beach a golden color, the ocean water was a dark purple as the light played off it. Even the obnoxious hot-dog girl was gone. Beach officials were lighting anti-mosquito torches and setting up decorations for what looked like a tiki party. Robin and Starfire made their way back to the abandoned camp. The two had eventually detached themselves from each other because their stomachs were rumbling. Starfire still clung to Robin's arm as Slade passed by, his Speedo tighter than ever. At the same time Robin and Star arrived at the camp and sat down, Beastboy and Raven popped up. Raven was strangely quiet, but she was holding the Changeling's hand very tightly. Beastboy, on the other hand, was covered in sticky smoothie from his toes to the tips of his pointed ears. The two sat down across from Robin and Starfire. The Boy Wonder raised an eyebrow at the sticky green one.
"What the heck happened to you, Beastboy?"
The Changeling groaned in response.
"Raven and I were going to get some smoothies, but the stupid guy serving them to us tripped over the hot-dog girl and spilled the smoothie all over me! Good news is that the hot-dog girl is at the hospital. The bad news is that my hot bod is covered in sticky and the management got two new substitutes for the hot-dog girl."
"Who are they?" Starfire and Robin asked at the same time.
Beastboy gulped and hid himself behind Raven.
"Terra and Kitten."
Right on cue, the two obnoxious and hated blondes popped up on opposite sides of the blanket. Terra loomed ominously on Raven and Beastboy's side, and Kitten towered meanly on Robin and Starfire's side. Both looked absolutely horrible in their hot-dog outfits. Kitten was practically buried in the merchandise, so only her big fat mouth stuck out of the jungle of purses and Cheetos®. And Terra's outfit was too small, the folds sagged around her non-existent figure. She leaned down and pulled on Beastboy's ear playfully.
"Hey Beastboy. You remember me? I'll bet you missed me, being stuck in that crummy old tower with some goth, a robot, an alien and an obsessive compulsive, huh?"
Beastboy glared up at the blonde and wrapped his arm protectively around Raven.
"I wish I had forgotten you, Terra. For your information, I just successfully asked that 'goth' out on a date. And you know what, Terra? That 'goth' is really hot!!"
Terra snorted, half out of disbelief that she was rejected and half out of sarcasm.
"It looks like you're wearing that date from your toes up to your ears, Beastboy. Did you fall into the smoothie? Poor baby."
The Changeling stuttered, searching for a comeback. Raven's eyes glowed a dangerous white. On the other side of the blanket, their comrades were getting the same kind of treatment from Kitten. The blonde waved cutely to Robin.
"Hiyah Robby-poo. Remember your kitten? I was just in the neighborhood, so I thought I'd stop by and check up on my 'widdle poo."
Robin's eyes grew big and round and he scooted behind Starfire, whose eyes turned a dangerous emerald green. She pointed an accusing finger at Kitten and said,
"Robin is not your poo, he is MY poo! I do not know what this 'poo' means, but you keep your hands off my boy, do you hear?"
Kitten huffed and remarked, "Oh, how sweet, you two are together now. But that doesn't mean I can't take my poo back!"
Kitten reached behind Starfire and grabbed Robin by the tips of his hair and started to drag him through the sand. The Boy Wonder screamed in pain. His girlfriend shrieked vengefully and grabbed his ankles, while shooting lasers from her eyes at Kitten. The blonde tugged forcefully at Robin's hair, but a blast from Starfire sent her tumbling. Star released her boyfriend's feet and leapt on Kitten, screaming Tameranean was cries at the unfortunate prep. Back with Raven and Beastboy, Terra was victim to Raven's emotion-driven powers.
"YOU THINK I'M SOME GOTH?? I'LL SHOW YOU GOTH!!"
Terra screamed in agony as Raven's black energy tore her hot-dog suit to shreds. Beastboy leaped on his girlfriend and held her back by the arms.
"No Rae! Don't....kill...the...fag..." he grunted in excursion. The Goth flailed her black-energy fists and black lightening crackled out of the stone on her brow. Terra was breathing heavily as she picked the remnants of her hot-dog costume off her blue bikini.
"Ooff!"
Starfire had thrown Kitten into Terra, the blonde's hot-dog costume also in shreds. They lay in a heap as both of the female Titans were held back. So much for a peaceful, relaxing evening. Suddenly, Kitten and Terra were lifted off each other and started to hover across the sand away from the screaming, vengeful Titanesses. Robin squinted at them and located the green bottoms of...cucumbers.
"Cucumbers! Over here..."
The Titans turned to follow the voice of Slade. The psycho was sitting grandly upon a throne made of Popsicle sticks, with his broads surrounding him and guarded by a mass of cucumbers wielding glue bottles as weapons. The Titans followed the vegetables carrying Terra and Kitten to the perimeter of the cucumber guards, then waited and watched. The cucumbers deposited Kitten and Terra at Slade's feet with a plop. The Speedo wearing psycho patted and praised each cucumber for carrying them to him. After that, he turned to the ragged blondes wearing bikinis. Kitten's was a swimsuit made of (predictably) pink material. And she looked pretty good in it for Kitten. Slade pulled her up on his knee first for that reason. Terra, on the other hand, looked more ugly than normal. Her blue bikini top hung off her frame like a dead animal. And her triangle bottom cut into her stomach, making her fat squish over the top. She couldn't have picked a more hideous cut for herself if she tried.
Slade hesitantly pulled her up as well. Kitten and Terra squirmed viciously, but cucumber guards pointed their glue bottles at them menacingly, so they sat still on Slade's knee.
"I suppose you are wondering why you are sitting on my lap and why my cucumber guards rescued you, hm?"
Terra and Kitten looked up at Slade, then looked down and nearly fainted. Slade glanced at his Speedo, which was now shrunken down to three times its previous size. Not a pleasant view at all for the little blondes. Slade sighed wistfully.
"You see, my hated blondes, I have been patronizing a certain website in search for love. I may have my broads around me, but I need someone significant (they're just my loyal slaves for life). So, now that I have found you...no more villainmatch.com for me!"
And with that, Slade pounced on Terra and Kitten and started to make out with them. The unfortunate blondes squealed and shrieked.
"Ewww!!! Psycho germs! Like, totally gross!"
"Did someone like, say, like? Omigosh, it's, like, Kitten! And like, some other ugly person!"
The Titans, Slade, and the hated blondes turned to a herd of preps on top of a sand dune. They were all ugly, all pink, and all HAPPY. They stampeded over poor innocent beachgoers over to Slade's throne. His cucumber guards pointed their glue bottles menacingly. One fired a warning glob at them. It, tragically, landed on one of the prep's hair. She screamed and clawed at the glue, but it was of no avail. The substance was quick drying, and the prep's hair was soon lost.
"NOOO!!!! KATIE, LIKE, DON'T FALL INTO A BAD-HAIR DAY!!!"
The prep herd wept over their fallen member. The cucumber soldiers looked as confused as the Titans did. Kitten leapt over Terra, over Slade and his vegetable army, and into the arms of her fellow preps. They gave each other pecks on the cheek.
"Omigod! It's, like, totally awesome to see you, Kitten! That was, like, sooooo not cool when you were, like, recruited for that lousy hot-dog girl job!" ,one of the preps exclaimed.
"I, like, totally agree." ,another one stated. "You, like, couldn't even, like, accessorize with these totally plush mustard earrings! Talk about, like, a wet blanket, you know."
The Titans were fascinated by the preps and their dialect. Having not experienced preps first hand, they were oooing and ahhhing over their happy behavior. All of them...except one goth. Raven was frozen rigid- partly because of the preps being less than five meters away, and partly because of her friends being completely curious about them. Beastboy noticed, and waved his hand in front of Raven's staring eyes.
"Rae? Are you okay, Ravi? Yoo-hoo...Rae-Rae..."
The Goth's lips moved slightly and she whispered one word:
"APA."
The Changeling's eyes grew wide and he took a step backward. He put up his hands cautiously.
"No, Rave, no APA. Sanity, Rae! Sanity...no, don't look at me that way...RAVEN!! NOOO!!1"
But it was too late. Raven leapt over her fellow Titans and in the midst of the prep herd.
"DIE, SCUM OF THIS PLANET!!!"
"Noo!! Raven, resist the APA!!"
Starfire and Robin watched with wide eyes as Raven devastated the preps. The Goth shrieked with a deadly force as she laid black energy blows left to right, scattering the pinkness. Robin tapped his green friend.
"Uh, Beastboy? What's APA?"
The Changeling looked sadly up at his friends.
"APA stands for Automatic Prep Annihilation. Raven has fallen victim to its grip...just like many other Goths, weirdoes, oddballs, retards, and perverts across the globe. "
Beastboy emphasized his statement by making a wide sweep of his hand to symbolize a planet. Robin raised an eyebrow.
"And APA would be a bad thing how...???"
The Changeling opened his mouth to respond, but then he closed it and paused in consideration. He then smiled and shrugged.
"I guess it isn't so bad after a—"
A beeping coming from his waistband interrupted the Green One. It was a small gadget in the shape of a Juicy Fruit pack. He glanced at it, then a weird look came over his face.
"The time has come..."
Robin and Starfire looked at Beastboy curiously. The Green One raised his arms to the heavens above and yelled,
"OH JUICY FRUIT FOLLOWERS, THE TIME HAS COME TO RISE FORTH! WE SHALL TAKE BACK WHAT IS OURS! ATTACK THE BEARER!"
Beastboy pointed to Terra, who was sitting innocently on Slade's knee. She clasped her hands and turned her big, blue eyes on the Changeling.
"What Juicy Fruit? I have no such thing!"
The Green One was suddenly surrounded by an angry mob bearing torches, pitchforks, and moldy shortbread cookies. They were all wearing T-shirts with a Juicy Fruit logo on the front.
"We are the Juicy Fruit Followers!" they chanted in unison, directing their comments to the wide-eyed Robin and Starfire. Beastboy leapt on top of a rock so that the mob could hear his voice.
"She has Juicy Fruit!" Beastboy yelled, waving a cookie in the air, pointing at Terra.
"GET HER!!"
Terra screamed and leaped off Slade's lap. She sprinted past Raven beating up Kitten and on down the beach. Beastboy, at the head of his mob, chased after her, chanting,
"Juicy Fruit! Juicy Fruit!"
Starfire and Robin were suddenly all alone on the sand. Slade looked at the Titans, sighed miserably, and snapped his fingers at his cucumbers. The green vegetables carried the heart-broken Slade away from the noise and on down the beach to search for new love. Robin fidgeted slightly, not knowing what to do alone with Starfire. Alone and hungry...with Starfire. Flickering torches and music caught his attention off to the side. The delectable aroma of food wafted on the summer night breeze. There was a tiki party going on up the beach. The Boy Wonder caught Starfire's hand and gestured toward the party.
"Hey Star. Ever do the limbo?"
Starfire looked surprised, but then smiled when she realized Robin was going to teach her something new. Her boyfriend led her down the beach, chattering all the way.
To Be Continued....
MoonDeity: Well friends, last chapter is coming up next. But don't be sad! I have many more ideas for more Titans fics coming up. I have to write a script for my silly little bro's movie, so look for a One-Shot. Again, thank-you to Kimohono aka Chicgeek as well as Raven the Sorceress. Look for more of Kimohono aka Chicgeek in the next chapter! This chapter was revised because poolsofsorrow called to my attention the blonde comment in the description of the prep herd. "They were all blonde, all pink, and all HAPPY." That was an extremely ignorant comment and I should have been more conscientious of the fact that not all blondes are preps. I greatly apologize to anyone who read that segment and was offended; it was wrong on my behalf. Thank you to poolsofsorrow for noticing that mistake.