Tuesday September 21, 1976

Yesterday was my first potions tutoring with Severus.  Life never seems to be ordinary, he's not as bad as Sissy and Bell make him out though he could use a bath every now and then.  I think, similarly to me, he's misjudged.  As where I am taken for a snooty pure blood he is mistake for a slime ball.  So life deals us all different hands, but it was today that I really found me at odds with myself.  I must be clear before I try and attempt any description of what happened.  I think I've found the man that I can love more than life itself, please self when you come back and look over this (and probably laugh) note that you did say 'think'.  Okay, we're clear.

            "Beth what are you doing?"

            "Shhhh!"  Bethany slapped a hand over Lily's mouth and pointed around the wall.

            Lily peeked around the corner and saw Narcissa and Bellatrix headed their way.  Lily nodded and Bethany pointed in the other direction.  Lily led the way tiptoeing around the other side of the castle.

            "You're hiding from your friends?" Lily asked.

            "At the moment we are at odds," Bethany said.

            "It would seem that at every moment you are at odds," Lily laughed.

            Bethany gave a reluctant chuckle, "I suppose that is a correct assumption."

            Just then James snuck up behind Lily and scooped her up around the waist and hefted her off the ground.  She gave a sudden shriek and turned around giving him a playful slap.  Sirius, Remus, and Peter, in tow, laughed too. 

            Bethany slipped back out of the circle a bit.

            "So guys," Lily said.  "I want you to meet my friend Beth."

            "We know her," Sirius gave Bethany a discouraging frown.  "She's one of Narcissa's crowd."

            "It's not like that Sirius," Lily said.

            "Right," Sirius said and headed on past them toward the lake.

            "Don't mind him," James waved a hand.  "He's my best mate, it'll blow over.  If Lily says you're okay I believe her so I believe you."

            Bethany smiled shyly, "Thanks."

            Peter didn't say anything.  His eyes darted from Sirius's back, in the distance, to Bethany.  After several seconds he slipped past James, Lily, and Bethany after Sirius.

            "He's in Sirius worship mode," Remus stepped up.  "Don't mind him either, when Sirius comes around Peter will too.  I'm Remus Lupin, nice to meet you Beth."

My heart stopped, I couldn't breathe, he offered his hand to me and I couldn't move to take it.  Though I'd seen Remus before, and even had him address me on occasion it was like I'd never seen him until that moment…today when I was hiding.  Hiding!  Why is it that when we hide we sometimes stumble upon the things we are seeking?

            After staring at Bethany for a few seconds, his hand extended to her Remus reached over and scooped hers up in a firm shake.

            "Sorry," Bethany blinked.

            Hermione sat up straight, "Professor Lupin."  She scanned the last few paragraphs, "Professor Lupin had a secret admirer, one who thought could love him more than life itself." 

            Hermione flipped back to the picture of Bethany Spence.  Hermione hadn't really looked at the picture before, she hadn't thought she'd get to meet people she'd never know…some she knew as adults through another's eyes, at her age.

            Bethany was pleasant looking, she didn't look hard like most Slytherins Hermione knew.  Instead Bethany looked patient and caring.  She was not unattractive, instead upon closer inspection Hermione found her quite pretty.

            Hermione considered writing to Professor Lupin to ask if he remembered Bethany, but thought better of it for now.  She wanted to finish the journal before she addressed something she might regret later.