Sunday September 26, 1976
I can't help it. He is my waking dream moment, my closing thought, and my obsession. Sissy would call me crazy, Bell would sneer, but Lily would say it is love. Today the difficulties of existing heightened, and I don't know where my path will guide me from here. Early on I noted the most trying day of my life was the day Sissy decided to make me a friend, that was true to that point…today surpassed that. Remus would never notice me, but Sissy was right about some Slytherin boy who took an interest in Lily Evans first but has turned his attention to me.
"You will never pass your Potions exam if you don't pay attention," Severus told Bethany, whose cauldron was bubbling over sloshing a sticky green goo on the floor. "You used Essence of Toad didn't you?"
Bethany held up a bottle to Severus.
His hand was patient as he took the bottle, and his voice was gentle when he spoke. "This is Essence of Toad, it's the same color as Willow Juice. Here," Severus scooped up another inky black liquid and dumped the contents of it into the cauldron. At that point the potion hissed and the bubbling subsided. "It's going to leave a green stain here."
When Severus turned back around he found Bethany sitting a few stools away staring intently at the ground.
"Bethany?" Severus went to her. "Are you all right? You've not been yourself all day. I've never seen you botch a potion like that, in fact since we've been having these Potions tutoring sessions I've never seen you mess up a potion."
Her eyes left the floor. "It's Sunday Sev."
"Yes." Severus nodded. Bethany had been calling him Sev ever since they started with the Potion practice, and he seemed to like it.
"All our friends are outside." Bethany wanted to scream that she just wanted to see Remus from a distance, reading under a tree while his friends ran around like idiots, where he would occasionally look up and a smile would flutter across his face and he might let a gruff laugh escape him. "I can't focus." She looked away.
"I wouldn't have suggested the extra practice if you didn't have an exam tomorrow. I'm sorry I've taken you away from your friends on a Sunday."
Bethany
shook her head, "I'm sorry I've wasted your day when you could be studying for
your N.E.W.T.s."
"Bethany
you are not bother to me," Severus told her.
Bethany stood and headed over to her cauldron where she began mopping up the contents. "I really do appreciate the help Sev. I've just not been myself lately."
Severus nodded and bent to help her with the clean up. Between the two of them they cleaned up the mess very quickly. Bethany put her cauldron away and looked back to Severus when she made it to the door. "Thanks again."
"Bethany." Severus's voice stopped her just as she went to leave the Potions classroom.
"Yeah?" Bethany turned back to him.
"The first Hogsmeade weekend is the second weekend in October, I thought maybe we could go together."
Bethany had never heard Severus speak so quickly and she wondered if what she'd deciphered out of his words was what he'd really said.
Yes, this is what he'd really said. I'm flabbergasted, to say the very least. Flabbergasted and flattered. I hadn't believed Sissy and Bell, but they are often more right than I like. They're going to be mad...I can't help being who I am.
"Did you ask me to Hogsmeade?" Bethany said staring at Severus, astounded.
"Never mind," Severus spoke quickly.
"Sev," Bethany caught his arm as he made to pass her. She wanted to say no, with the wishful thinking that she could go with Remus but realizing, once again, that that was a false hope that would never take place she nodded. "Sure, I'll go to Hogsmeade with you."
"You will…" Severus's words hung in the air.
"Yeah," Bethany smiled at him. "See you Wednesday for my next Potions tutoring?"
Severus just nodded staring at her.
Bethany walked the corridor alone, she didn't know whether to go outside and be with her friends or head back down to the Slytherin common room where she could think and continue to be alone. She decided she'd feel better about going to Hogsmeade with Severus after she knew that Remus was not interested in her at all. She, also, decided that Narcissa and Bellatrix were wrong about Severus…he was okay.
Bethany turned and headed down the hall toward the September day outside, but thought better of it and turned back. She took a few steps and turned heading outside, again her feet turned her back toward the Slytherin's house.
I would have gone on like that forever if someone hadn't interrupted me.
"You might wear a hole in the carpet there."
Bethany turned to see Professor Dumbledore smiling happily at her.
"Professor, I…I didn't mean…I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry Bethany. Why aren't you outside with all your friends? It's a lovely day outside."
Bethany simply stared at Dumbledore for several long seconds before she asked, "Is life always difficult?"
Dumbledore blinked at the girl, "Surely you can't mean that your life is difficult at sixteen?"
"But it is," Bethany frowned.
"The troubles of a teenager are the fun kind of troubles," Dumbledore told her.
Bethany smiled, "Please Professor, point me in the right direction to ease my fun troubles."
Dumbledore's laughing eyes continued to dance as he said, "What fun would it be if I didn't let you experience it on your own?"
Something about Dumbledore always gives me strength. He's unstoppable, impossible, and always full of useless information and bizarre quotes that could pick up anyone's spirits. He gave me the strength I needed to get to the door, at least.
Bethany reached for the door and before she could open it the door burst open smashing her in the nose slinging her across the floor. Instantly her hand went to her nose to keep blood from getting everywhere, though it only helped the blood from running all over the floor. With blood speckled robes Bethany looked up to see a large man that engulfed the entire doorway.
"'agrid?" She asked, her voice was muffled behind a handful of blood.
"Bethany?" Hagrid went to her and began to help her, "I'm sorry ter have knocked yeh down. Are yeh all righ'?"
She drew her hand back and looked at the slick bright red liquid that covered her palm. "I t'ink I'm going to beh."
"Well, we were jus' headed down ter see Madam Pomfrey. Come on, looks like yeh'll be needin' ter see her too."
"We?" Bethany asked as Hagrid pulled the girl to her feet by her arm. She winced at the tightness of his grasp.
"James fell of his broom," Hagrid jammed a thumb behind him where Sirius and Remus were helping James inside on what looked to be a broken leg. Peter and Lily were close behind.
"Oh," Bethany stepped out of the way.
"Goodness Bethany." Lily went to her friend and grabbed her wrist dragging her along. "You look terrible."
"T'anks." Bethany said mockingly glancing at the boys ahead of them.
"Well come on, you'll need to see Madam Pomfrey too. Honestly, I can't leave you or James alone for a moment with out one of you trying to die." Lily smiled over her shoulder at Bethany who was doing her best to mop up the blood all over her face.
"I've never had a bloody nose before," Bethany said.
"There's a first time for everything. I wish I could say this was the first time James has broken his leg practicing Quiddich, but if I did…I'd be lying."
Bethany smiled despite herself.
Finally Bethany pulled free just outside of the hospital wing. "I'm all right now Lily. I don't need to go in there."
"Don't be silly." Lily said, taking Bethany's arm back up. "We're here already."
Lily had to pull Bethany into the hospital wing where Madam Pomfrey was already propping James up in a bed and clicking her tongue disapprovingly. "Well Mr. Potter, you already know how this tastes. Go on then." Madam Pomfrey turned back to James' friends. "He'll have to stay over night." Then Madam Pomfrey caught a glimpse of Bethany. "Well, Miss. Spence I haven't seen you in here since your first year when you took a nose dive off your broom in your first flying class."
Bethany blushed, "I've become more careful. Or perhaps I'm just less accident prone now."
Madam Pomfrey smiled briefly. "Did Potter knock you off your broom this time?"
"No ma'am." Bethany said as Madam Pomfrey took Bethany's arm and pulled her forward looking over her nose.
"Well, it's not broken." Madam Pomfrey went to a cupboard and returned seconds later with a small cup of something. "Here, drink this. It will stop the bleeding and you'll be fine to go out for the rest of the day." Madam Pomfrey turned to the other four, "You can go on ahead now."
"I'll wait, if it's alright." Lily said.
Madam Pomfrey gave her a stern look that didn't go over quickly, and Lily revised her statement. "I'll wait outside for you Beth."
Bethany shook here head. "You don't have to wait."
Lily nodded and pointed to the door. "I'll be right out side."
When Bethany came out Lily stood up. "Hey. Are you okay? You looked a little pale in there."
"A little?" Bethany tried to smile. "How to I look now?"
"A bit dejected, what happened?"
"I got hit in the nose, didn't you see the blood all over the place?" Bethany tried to joke.
"I mean with you and why you lost all that makes you Bethany. You looked horrified in there. Do you hate the hospital wing or something?"
"I do now, after that valiant tale Madam Pomfrey told in front of all of you."
"Beth," Lily caught her friend around the wrist and brought her to a halt. "Do you think any of that matters to us? Stupid stuff happens to all of us."
Bethany tried to smile but couldn't bring herself to do so. She nodded though. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Listen if you want to wait to sneak in and see James I won't mind. I really do want to get a bit of fresh air."
Lily reached over and gave Bethany a hug. "Thanks."
So once again alone with the dilemma of going outside, now with the embarrassment of a bloody nose and a broom crashing story, or going back to the safety of the Slytherin common room. I decided on the common room, so here I am explaining what happened today. If I could express a sigh in words I would put it at this very spot.
Hermione shook her head wondering why she'd never heard Sirius, Professor Lupin, or even Mrs. Weasley mention Bethany when apparently she was, at least at one point, friends with the Potters.
~* Please be kind and review. Thanks for reading. ~Jo*~