A/N: We're getting there now, and all will become clear…realize the approaching ending is the result of much toil and thought. I hope you all like it. It will all make sense…if it doesn't now…I promise. I'm anticipating one more installment after this one, perhaps two. But when I've posted the ending I've decided on, I will post the ending I wrote when I started this story, just so you can see how it's changed (and if you like that ending, you may accept that one). Yes, I wrote the last page or so after I'd started this story because I had a goal in mind. Please, please, please let me know what you think…this was the hardest chapter for me to accept and I'm still not sure so I really need your feedback. Thanks for reading. ~Jo
Friday October 15, 1976
What a match!
"COME ON!" Lily shouted nearly smacking Remus in the head with a flag. Then she plopped back down with a frown. "He missed it."
"We saw." Bethany smiled.
"It was right there."
"I know."
"How could he have missed it?" Lily groaned.
"Lily look!" Bethany was on her feet in an instant. Peter leapt up and almost fell over the railing into a group of second year Gryffindors. Sirius was shouting and Remus was holding onto Bethany's waist so she didn't tumble over where Peter almost had.
James was skirting the Quidditch Pitch, Alexis Bobble, the Ravenclaw seeker, right on his tale. They zoomed around the Pitch until the snitch zoomed straight up and Alexis made the mistake of following it up. James stayed low and Alexis's broom gave and she tumbled down catching her spiraling fall just inches from the hard ground. Now James was rising slowly, he leaned far over on his broom and got an extra bit of zip before reaching out, dodging a Bludger, and scooping up the snitch.
Roars rang out through the stands and the announcer was shouting, "GRYFFINDOR WINS! JAMES POTTER IS UNSTOPPABLE!"
"Come on let's go meet him." Lily pushed past Bethany and Remus.
Sirius had gotten to his feet and turned back to Peter. "Hey Pete, go get me a Butterbeer."
"You have two arms and two legs, get it yourself. I'm going to see James." Peter told Sirius.
Bethany looked over to Remus who smiled and chuckled, "He's going to go into James worship mode for a bit now, then he'll switch to me or Sirius again when we do something really great."
Bethany shook her head.
Peter: the narrow minded follower, he'll never change.
Hermione checked her watch, she was late for Defense Against the Dark Arts. She grabbed up all her things and dashed out of the library.
"Whoa!" Sal grabbed Hermione before she barreled him over again. "You're in a hurry wherever you go aren't you?"
Hermione found herself unable to speak.
Sal laughed and stepped aside, "Go ahead, I wouldn't want to be the reason you're late to class."
Hermione tried to say something but couldn't, so she just scooted past him and took off at a run again.
"Hermione! Where are you going?" Ron called to Hermione who ran by him.
"Ron?" She came to a stop and turned back to him. "Why aren't you in Defense Against the Dark Arts?"
"Cancelled." Ron said.
"Oh."
"What's gotten into you?" Ron asked. "You're never late to class."
"I don't know." Hermione frowned. "I haven't felt much like myself lately."
"What are we going to do?" Harry asked, approaching his friends.
"I'm going to pack." Hermione said.
"No Hermione," Ron said. "Don't go hide in your room again."
Hermione looked to Harry as if hoping he'd say she hadn't been hiding in her room. When he didn't speak she snorted, "I've not been hiding. But fine, I'll do whatever you guys do."
"Wizard chess?" Ron asked Harry.
Harry nodded, "All right."
When the trio made it back to the common room Hermione excused herself, promising she'd be back in 'just a moment'. She ran up dropping her books on her bed. She took the journal and put it in the bottom of the bag she was going to take over Christmas Holiday at Grimmauld Place, telling herself she wasn't going to look at again until they were away from Hogwarts.
The next few days were a blur. Classes sped by, and the three were on the Hogwarts Express before they knew it.
Hermione was tired, and didn't really remember being led through the Underground to London and up the steps to 12 Grimmauld Place. She hadn't been sleeping right, in fact she realized now that she hadn't been living right. She'd been too absorbed in someone else's life.
Hermione vaguely remembered being called down for dinner when she woke up sometime just before dawn. She had told Mrs. Weasley that she wasn't hungry. For the first time Hermione had ever seen, Mrs. Weasley hadn't insisted that she, Hermione, come down and eat. Hermione got out of her bed, careful not to wake Ginny. She looked through her bag and pulled out Bethany's journal.
She padded lightly across the house to a wing she'd not been through in the times she'd stayed at 12 Grimmauld Place. The hall was clean, Mrs. Weasley was a very efficient tidier. Hermione's mind drifted to Sal, she wondered if she'd see him again or if Professor Snape would have returned by the time Christmas was over. It was evil, but the thought that Snape returned to Voldemort permanently crossed her mind and she doted on it for a moment, thinking that Sal would have to stay and teach Potions. Then she wondered if she'd see him over Christmas holiday. She laughed at the herself and how ridiculous the thought itself was, Sal had no reason to be at the meeting place for the Order.
Hermione paused at a closed door. She knew all the adults were staying across the large house, and all her friends were in the rooms around hers so this wing would be vacant and it was out of the way, therefore she wouldn't disturb anyone or have to worry about waking anyone.
Hermione froze in the doorway upon seeing that this room was occupied. The woman propped up in the bed smiled. She was thin and pale, her eyes were dark and she looked tired, but none-the-less she was awake. Her skin was shallow from her underweight nature, but she still smiled. She looked as though she had been a lovely woman and could one day grow back to being beautiful if only because of her encouraging smile.
Hermione smiled back, weakly.
"Please," the woman said in a soft broken voice. "Come in."
"I'm sorry." Hermione said. "I didn't mean to disturb you."
"Nonsense, I could use the company." Her voice was returning, less broken, but still soft as if she hadn't used it in years.
Hermione entered. As soon as she got to the chair next to the bed and sat aside the woman Hermione recognized her. Worn and aged beyond her young years, yet still pleasant in appearance was Bethany Spence.
"Are you all right dear?" Bethany asked.
"Yes," Hermione said airily.
Bethany smiled and Hermione paused. Finally she extended the journal to Bethany. "I'm sorry Ms. Spence I've read your journal, at least part of it. I found it in my vanity."
Bethany looked at the book clutched in Hermione's hand and chuckled. Bethany took it from Hermione and ran a thin hand, that had two puncture wound scars from Sirius, over the worn leather cover, "Ms. Spence? Oh I haven't been called that in years. If my memory serves me I gave this to Lily Evans, before she was Lily Potter, for safe keeping, and she graduated Hogwarts and I never saw it again. Remus will have a fantastic time reading it."
"You're not angry that I read it?"
"Heavens no," Bethany said. "Isn't that why we write things down, to share them? It always feels good to share, even with a book. I'm sure you've had a fun time too, reading the very confused thoughts of a sixteen year old girl."
"Ms. Spence-"
"Please call me Beth."
"Beth, what happened? I didn't get all the way through."
Beth smiled and handed the journal back. "If you'd like, you may finish. But when you're done I'd like it back so I can give it to Remus."
Hermione took the journal and nodded. "I'm Hermione."
"It's a pleasure to meet you Hermione." Bethany smiled. "Now tell me, what troubles you? I can see worry in your eyes."
"I've spent the past few weeks wondering about you. I grew to live in your world and get to know you, thought I've not heard of you before. I have loads of contact with the Order because I'm friends with Harry and Ron. You were friends with James, Professor Lupin, and even Sirius, Professor Snape too. I thought something awful had happened and that's why I hadn't heard of you, or met you."
"That's very kind of you Hermione, worrying about someone you don't even know. Something awful did happen, but that's neither here nor there. I'm just glad to be back here." Bethany said.
"Did you marry Professor Lupin?" Hermione asked suddenly. "Is that why you want him to have this?"
Bethany laughed. "Have you ever had a crush Hermione?"
"What?"
"Have you?" Bethany raised her eyebrows.
"Sort of, I guess. I mean I do now."
"Does your heart beat fast when you see him? Does your tongue get tied and your stomach fill with butterflies when you think of him?"
Hermione nodded shamefully embarrassed.
"It fades."
"What?" Hermione asked.
"Tell me about your crush." Bethany said.
"Well, we have this substitute Potions Professor, Sal. Our regular teacher, Professor Snape, has been doing Order business. It's great because Snape is mean, he's hard and can be nasty. You know how he is, he's the Potions Master at Hogwarts now, you were friends with him in school."
Bethany nodded.
Hermione went on, "Sal's nice though, patient, he actually helps us. Everybody likes Sal. We…I…hope we can keep him for our Potions Professor. I know that won't happen, I am realistic too. Professor Snape is very good, you know that too though, don't you?"
Bethany nodded again.
"Well, I met Sal in the hall one day. He's just…" she sighed, "I don't know…perfect."
"Perfect in your eyes. You must understand that journal was written in the slanted view of a head strong girl who sounds a lot like you. This infatuation with Sal will pass and then you'll see."
"See what?"
Bethany laughed and shook her head as if she couldn't wait any longer to ask, "I feel like the day in the alley behind Madam Puddifoot's with Sirius when he asked me if I hated or loved Lucius Malfoy. You say that you don't like Sev but you like Sal?"
Hermione nodded, "Oh yes, everybody likes Sal."
Bethany smiled and the door opened, surprising both Hermione and Bethany.
Hermione's breath caught in her throat and she found it difficult to move, just as Bethany had when she would have run-ins with Remus. Sal stood in the doorway his black robes swishing around him. He smiled at Hermione, "Hello Hermione."
"Hi." She choked out.
He turned his attention to Bethany and he sighed happily. "Mum."
"Salazar." Bethany smiled weakly. "Happy birthday."