Chapter 2

The darkness begins to recede; memories wash over me in a flood of dull pain. It's like waking from a dream, to find yourself in a nightmare, cycling through, repeating events again and again and helpless to change the outcome every time.

P7J-019.

Once more I see the towering oak forests looming over the blistering clearings, heat striking my face around the welcome shade of the glasses and removing the chill of the Stargate. I look around; the bustle of SG-7 and 9 as they set up defences surrounds us and we move out of the way as SG- 3 come out behind us. I can see Daniel's eyes screwed up behind his glasses, and Teal'c stoically hefting his weapon as the Colonel gives the curt order to move out, and we again begin that trek towards the paltry camp.

Bursts of memory-within-memory seemed to flash quicksilver through my mind as we jog towards the sound of distant fighting. The reason we were here appeared and I smile humourlessly. SG-6 had been tasked with overseeing the evacuation of the only survivors of the small, elf-like Morkanians; smart little beings with their large eyes and purple-tinged skin. Most of them had already been relocated to their chosen alpha site – anywhere free of the rampage of Ba'al.

An image of laughing Major Keller appeared and then was gone amongst the chaos of the recall. He and his team had been doing sterling work, until earlier that morning. Literally hundreds of Jaffa had made their position – totally unexpectedly. Four men could not be expected to stem that tide alone... so we were the emergency back up.

As the scene replays, I hear the Colonel's surprised curse and snap my head up. A column of Morkanians are pelting towards us, little faces blank with fear.

"We are the last!" Mirei yells, the child-like scientist's expression showing nothing but determination to care for her people. "Flee for your safety!"

"SG-6?" yells the Colonel in return, twisting partly round as the stream of refugees surround us.

"They are dead! You must flee!" And the little alien is gone, leaving us to cover their rear as a roaring sound fills the air.

And we're stumbling backwards, guns firm and steady but my arms are treacherously shaking as trees come crashing down in the path of an overhead destroyer flattens the landscape. Dead bodies strew the area, hot- eyed Jaffa pounding towards us. My finger tightens reflexively on the trigger, and then we're all firing, even white-faced Daniel.

And we're running back towards the Gate, pausing every so often to turn and fire a volley into the pursuers behind us. We can hear the other teams shooting as well, the destroyer attacking our way out. And now we can see the blue circle in the distance where swift Morkanian legs have already taken most of them through the Gate. Still we run; every time the memory cycles I try and urge myself to run just a little faster, but still we're moving with treacle slowness.

I hear a grunt beside me. Teal'c falls behind for a second, his jaw set – a staff blast has caught him on the calf. The Colonel swings round and yells for Daniel to help the tall Jaffa through the Gate.

"Carter! Get your six over there with them! I'll cover!"

His voice is strained, but his stance is firm. I'm about to comply, but some force sticks me to the spot – I can't believe I'm deliberately disobeying orders, but I can't leave him either. I'm caught in an agonizing dilemma – if I was given the choice again I still don't know what I would do.

But the choice is taken from me.

The destroyer pulls to a hovering halt above us, and I can't help glance up at its menacing bulk. But the team at the Gate behind us are far ahead – they've got the big guns up, the grenade launcher blasting and I'm sure that lucky hit was an engine or anti-grav booster, because the thing starts shaking internally. It's going to crash down on those Jaffa milling about behind us, I realise with faint triumph, leaving us to escape.

And by this stage in the memory I'm screaming now, urging my triumph away, telling myself to move! But I can't. And the rings flick down with startling speed, a last act of the dying destroyer. The Colonel and I are trying to duck out of the way, but we're too slow – the familiar lurching feeling fills me and a bright light fills my eyes.

The rings deposit us staggering on the tilted deck. The Colonel yells and opens fire on the five Jaffa who are staring at us with set staff weapons as the rings drop once more into the floor. And once again in that nightmare I feel the horrific wrenching and I spin around as the staff blast takes me full in the shoulder. But the adrenalin is pounding through my head until I can barely hear any more, and I dart to the opposite side from the Colonel, and with instinct born of working so close for so long, we can take out these confused alien sods. Your ship is falling apart! I want to call exultingly as the last one turns his indecisive face towards me. These soldiers are no match for us!

And he hits the floor, and the Colonel swings round, checking for others. A blast has grazed his head and I can see blood starting to stream down the side of his face.

"Carter! Get the rings!"

And I know exactly what he means, and he stands in the middle of the room covering and I dash for the keypad. Faint surprise fill me as I realise I can't use my left arm, so I drop my gun and it swings around on its strap as my fingers tap laboriously across the symbols. Why can't I go faster? But there is no time to think as the nightmare sweeps on, and I throw myself into the middle of the rings before they slide up out of the floor. I stumble against the Colonel and nearly fall, but he grabs for my uninjured arm and holds me tightly upright as the light flashes across my vision.

The memory jerks, and that moment stretches out endlessly, the pain, the panic, the rock steady form of my CO holding me up, supporting me like so many times before, just being there.

Then the image vanishes in a whirl, and suddenly the rings stutter and fall away as we stumble to the grassy ground.

But we're in shadow – why are we in shadow? – and he looks up, and the destroyer is tumbling slowly from the sky. And it hits the ground just beyond us with a shuddering rumble and roar, throwing the landscape crazily about it in its earthquake of destruction.

I'm still conscious, I cannot move, I can barely feel the hard earth pressed against my cheek, I can see nothing but the form in front of me, sprawled in the wake of the crash. Dark eyes flicker open and meet mine, with a child's puzzlement, a gaze not understanding why we are here, and then he really sees me.

And those brown eyes soften with our familiar exchange of glance, and I can think of nothing else.

"Jack," I say through a bleeding lip, pleading in my tone.

And he seems to smile faintly, and his white face dissolves into swirling blackness that encroaches from the sides, blocking my protesting view, and I scream soundlessly as oblivion claims me once more.

Sweet, black, painless oblivion.

But something urges me to remember.

And the darkness begins to recede; the memories wash over me in a flood of dull pain. It's like waking from a dream, to find yourself in a nightmare.

TBC