Chapter 6

Daniel stared uncomprehendingly at the scene in front of him, so different from when he left scant hours ago. He partly moved forward, aching to be closer, but then he checked his step with a bitter sigh. Instead he just watched for the opportune moment.

The dimly lit ward room seemed brighter, but only a little, light from the low-burning candle throwing flickering shadows in a pool around the bed, glancing reflections from the tubes and wires affixed in various places to his friend. Sam sat beside the quiet figure, her slender form still and silent, her blonde head leaning close to her friend's. Daniel could see that Jack's head was turned slightly towards her, his mouth moving with inaudible words that he knew were for one person only. His heart tore within him; this wasn't happening, couldn't be happening. Janet looked up from her analysis of the charts spread in front of her, and walked quietly over to the transfixed form of the archaeologist. She touched his arm gently, motioning him to come over and sit down.

"Why... why is this happening?" Daniel asked in a low tone, confused and worried to his very core.

"We don't know," and a hint of anguish crept into Janet's tone, "but for some reason his body rejected the ordinary, normal drugs we were using. It makes no sense. And now he's taken... a downward turn."

Daniel could say nothing but shook his head. "Have we tried the Tok'ra?"

"We get a 'busy' signal. We can't even contact them." Janet replied bitterly. "They're under orders at the base to keep attempting contact every two hours until we get something."

Daniel's hands scrunched up as he watched Sam's pale and drawn face, whispering something intensely, too low for them to hear. Janet followed his gaze.

"The Colonel asked to speak to Sam alone." It was a blank statement she made, not expecting any answer, nor receiving any, except the slight nod of Daniel's head. The archaeologist decided that he would not break the conversation; but as soon as they had finished he would be right there. Hell, everyone had been there at his bedside when he died – NO! Jack was not going to die. He set his face into a stubborn expression, emotions swirling haywire around his head. Eventually he spoke.

"We have to contact Teal'c."

"He's on his way already," Janet said, suddenly busying herself with the charts and staring at them with defeated frustration. Daniel sat down stiffly on the edge of the hospital chair, watching his friends' every movement.

"Well, Carter, looks like this old soldier might be leaving you," Jack said hoarsely, conversationally. Sam leant forward in her chair, resting her elbows gingerly on the coverlet, scanning his face with an intent blue gaze.

"Don't be stupid, sir," she said firmly, the harsh words belied by her insistent tone. "You've been through worse before. The Tok'ra will be turning up soon. Dad and his healing device. You'll see."

"Carter, don't humour me," he replied, smiling gently. "I heard Janet too. I'm not deaf yet. They're not coming."

"Listen, for goodness sake!" Sam's voice rose slightly, her voice passionate and the closest to tears that Jack had heard in a long time. "You can't give up now. Fight it, dammit! I know the man you are, we've been through too much to fall at a lousy waypoint. You still have so much to do with your life."

"Carter, I - "

"Please, hear me out, sir. You have to keep fighting, to the last. We're all here for you, always. Daniel's will be up in a minute, and Teal'c should be over in about an hour. Then we'll all be here. Janet will think of something, even if it does only tide you over until the Tok'ra get here. We'll pull you through, you have to live." Her steady litany was almost desperate, her violet gaze pleading and drowning in his warm brown stare. She was cut off by a wavering hand, brought up to gently touch her cheek.

"Hush, Carter."

"You have to live," she repeated, strongly, convincingly, with only the slightest of breaks at the end. Her hand reached up to hold his against her face. "Jack, you have to get through this." Her voice dropped barely above hearing, and she dropped her gaze to the white sheet. "I need you too badly."

His rough finger brushed gently across her cheek. "You know, I never thought I'd hear someone as self-possessed as you say that," his faint voice came, tender, protective, 'their' special tone but with so much more depth. Sam brought her obstinate face up to look at him once more, her firm expression only given away by the unshed tears standing crystalline in her eyes. Jack drew in a laboured breath and smiled again.

"I'll live... if just for one reason, Sam. You."

She clasped his hand on her cheek wordlessly, the hidden love and devotion that she had harboured so long etched into every fibre of her being. His tender brown gaze took in her every feature, weary face smiling at last. Those silent words never had to be spoken; they had known it too long to really deny it.

Beside them, the overflowing candle sputtered and flickered, burning all the stronger as it used the last of its strength. Eventually, with a final flare of yellow-gold light, it subsided and went out, wick still smoking, clear pools of wax still warm.

Jacob strode through the gate, staring around at the swarming airmen in the embarkation room. He'd obviously come in in the middle of a mission preparation – but that wasn't why he was here. His hand tightened on the device in his pocket, and he nodded to the captain who was saluting stiffly.

"General Carter? General Hammond wants to see you in the briefing room." Jacob frowned and nodded, noting the many impassive, busy faces, completely preoccupied. And George normally at least came to see him. Jacob speeded up his step, following the familiar route around up into the control room and then up the stairs. Daniel and Teal'c were sitting already at the briefing table, staring at the black and red wood. Daniel had his head in his hands, and Teal'c was as always expressionless. Of course... there must have been an emergency on the base, and they were upset at being called away from their friend's bedsides.

A fist seemed to clench in his stomach. Maybe one of them had got worse... his little girl... As he stood uncertainly at the top of the stairs, General Hammond came out of the office. Jacob stared disconcertedly at him.

"Jacob, Selmak. Have a seat. Thank you, airmen, you may go."

Hammond gestured to the two airmen, and they silently left. Jacob slowly took the seat next to Daniel, staring at Hammond's lined face. He seemed to have aged several years in a short time, and his skin seemed almost grey. Stress and worry were etched into his features, and Jacob spoke up. "I have the device, George. Are they in our infirmary? A military hospital? How's Sam?"

A million questions seemed to tumble out of him, and Selmak silently reprimanded him and told him to school his thoughts. Speaking would be easier that way.

"Major Carter is recovering," said Teal'c impassively. "She is at the military hospital. She was not allowed to leave for the base emergency." In his lap he ran a testing finger over the bruised and swollen knuckles of his hand, his gaze never leaving his fingers as he spoke.

"At least she's well enough to want to go back to duty," said Jacob, trying to make a feeble joke but failing in the silent aura of the room. He cleared his throat. "I still have the device. I came as soon as I got word, but you understand how it is, the base is always moving - "

Daniel spoke for the first time, not raising his head from his hands. "It always is with you, isn't it? Fine allies you are. Whenever there's an emergency and you want our help, fine, ring at the door and we'll help you out. But when we want your help, oh no. The Tok'ra are always too busy for us poor suckers on Earth."

"Look, Daniel - " Jacob started to say, but the linguist cut across him harshly.

"We've put our lives on the line how many times for you Tok'ra? Jack, even though he was never too happy with you, nevertheless tried his damn best to help out. But you don't help him, do you? We waited over a week to even get hold of you! You just don't care!" His voice rose in accordance with his increasingly angry voice.

"Doctor Jackson, that's enough," said General Hammond sharply. Daniel swung round suddenly in his chair, raising his head and revealing his angry, tear- stained face. He started to his feet, and grabbed Jacob's collar.

"No, I don't think that is enough! I'm fed up with this shit treatment we get! Jack was right when we said we should wait to put our trust in you. He tried. God dammit, he waited! And now he's dead because of it! You arrogant, heartless bastards!"

He yelled angrily, bringing back his other hand to swing at Jacob's head. The Tok'ra caught his fist in a strong grip, and Teal'c was there, holding his friend's shoulder, pulling him slightly away.

Jacob swung round to stare at General Hammond.

"He's...."

"Colonel Jack O'Neill... died, at 06:30 this morning," said General Hammond impassively, his words as grey as his face.

"You're too bloody late to help now, Tok'ra," spat Daniel, as Teal'c spun him around with painful fingers. "You're too late." Fresh tears began to run down his already stained face as his voice sank into a whisper, his shoulders shaking violently. Teal'c looked up at General Hammond, his face unreadable.

"Dismissed. Teal'c, please take him to calm down and then report to the infirmary to do something about your hand before we go through the gate."

"My hand is fully functional, General Hammond," replied Teal'c curtly, heading for the side door.

"Teal'c, don't give me this as well. I order you to get that hand strapped before you go on duty."

"No." And Teal'c left the room, pushing an incapacitated Daniel before him. Hammond sighed, and sat down, taking a deep breath and staring at the table. Jacob, who had sat frozen throughout the whole exchange, finally found his voice.

"George, I'm so sorry."

"Well, we all are, and let's leave it at that."

A million more questions still raced through Jacob's head, but his own grief had not yet got the better of his shock.

"How... did he die? Perhaps a sarcophagus..."

"He died from a massive unexplained brain haemorrhage. Doctor Fraiser did everything she could. Sarcophagus technology is no longer an option."

"My God. I... wish I could have come sooner."

"We can't change the past, Jacob," and if Hammond's voice was slightly sharper than usual, it was only to be expected.

"Can I go and see Sam?"

"There is nothing stopping you, Jacob. I'll get Major Davies to direct you." Hammond got to his feet again, and headed for his office. "Meanwhile I must get this emergency sorted out. Time is short." And with the briefest of nods in Jacob's direction, he left the room, leaving Jacob Carter sitting numbly at the briefing room table in an empty, silent room.

"Jacob?"

The man in question turned slightly from his contemplation of the lift buttons as he heard his name called. Daniel advanced hesitantly up the hall, dodging a hurrying airman and coming to stand beside Jacob.

"Daniel."

"Look, Jacob, I'm sorry about what I said. I... wasn't thinking too straight."

Jacob stayed silent a while before replying. "Apology accepted, Daniel. And I'm sorry as well." He rocked back on his heels a bit, the silence uncomfortable as Daniel remained beside him.

"So... what was wrong with Teal'c's hand?"

Daniel laughed shortly. "He punched a door."

"Will it be okay?"

"The steel reinforcement needs replacing."

"I meant his hand."

"He's Teal'c. He heals."

With that enigmatic reply Jacob cleared his throat and stared again at the lift door. Daniel looked at him and realised that he was wearing civilian clothes.

"Going to see Sam?"

"Yes. I hope she's all right."

"I don't think she'll want to see you."

Daniel's words hurt inside Jacob's already confused soul, and he turned to look at the now impassive archaeologist.

"Whyever not?"

Daniel nodded up at the lift as the doors slid open, and did not look at Jacob. When he did speak his words were quiet and intense.

"You're too late to save the man she loved from dying. I think that might hurt just a little bit, don't you?" And Daniel turned on his heel and ghosted off down the hall as the lift doors closed on a gaping Jacob.

The world outside the window is sunny. Cars draw up in the lots outside, children are playing with a ball in the gardens across the street. Nothing seems to have changed.

The world seems to face at the edges, becoming silent and greyer as it crumples in on me. Everything has changed, I scream silently inside my pounding head. Visions flicker across my mind, fixing and freezing on one scene, reminding me of that nightmare before I awoke. But this time, so different.

Him.

His hand lying on the cover as he brought it up to clasp my own, the tender words between us searing like fire, that at the time was bright with hope that now burns with painful touch and ashes.

And his eyes fixed on my own, and that slight smile as he drifted into sleep.

I watched as he never woke up.

I am the one who died today, died a thousand times inside whilst those around me cry.

I cannot cry. It is too much. Tears alone cannot heal the tearing rent that gapes in my soul. But I have to carry on. Too many people need my help. But they no longer talk to a living person.

I am the one who died today.

The End. I'm not writing any more.