I LIVE!!! I'm sorry I took so long! School decided to be a bitch and load me up with a ton of homework and then I had finals!! (Death glare to school) So, yes, I am finally going to update "Ronin Whose Line is it Anyway!" I'd like to take this opportunity to thank everybody who reviewed and gave me their ideas! You shall now become honorary members of the audience! And if, by chance, you have suggested something that I won't use until a later date, thank you for submitting your ideas in advance! So don't feel bad, I'll probably use all of your ideas at some point during the show! And another note: I am going to be on hiatus for about 3 weeks. You see, I am going on a trip to Italy with a group of girls from my Girl Scout Service Area, and therefore, not able to update. So, sorry for the inconvenience, but as soon as I return I shall try to get to work on the rest of the show! And without further a do, on with the entertainment!
Episode 2: whose Line and Superheroes!
(The camera goes past the applauding audience, getting a brief glimpse of the Ronins who are sitting in chairs and focuses on Helen at the desk on the side of the stage)
Helen: (Smiles hugely) Hello, and welcome back to Ronin Who's Line is it Anyway?! Where everything's made up and the points don't matter! That's right! They don't matter! Just like whatever the town idiot says, it doesn't matter! (Audience laughs) Anyways, our next game is going to be "Who's Line?" and yes, there is actually a game called "Who's Line?" here on "Who's Line is it Anyway?!" And this game is for Cye and Kento! (The boys look to each other, shrug and walk down to the center of the stage) So, we took the best lines that you suggested, and put them into these envelopes! (Hands one envelope each of the boys. They open them and put the small slips of paper into their pockets) Now, I need some suggestions for the scene that Cye and Kento have to act out!
Melissa: Road-trip!
Audience member #592: (Jumps up and down in their seat) Getting high behind the high school!
Kirie144280: All snowed-in in a log cabin in the mountains!
Audience member #56: On a date at the movie theater!
LaDyWiLdFiReKiTtY: At a basket ball game!
Audience member # 47: Getting drunk at a bar!
Helen: Hmmmm…Well, a few of those I don't want to see done…So…How about you guys took a road-trip up to the mountains, where you got snowed in and are now watching a basketball game on T.V.?
Kento/Cye: (Exchange glances) Okay.
Helen: Great! And start!
Kento/Cye: (Pretend to be sitting down)
Kento: (Looks enthralled at the 'T.V.' Suddenly jumps up, pumping his fist in the air) Yes! He made both foul point shots! You owe me 5 bucks man! (Turns to Cye, looking smug)
Cye: (Grumbles and hands over the money. He gets up and heads for the stage left) I'm going to buy the groceries. (Pretends to open the door, and stops) Erm…Kento? We have a problem. We're snowed in!
Kento: (Stops what he's doing) We're WHAT?!
Cye: We're snowed in! I told you it wasn't a good idea to come up to the mountains, but did you listen? Noooo!
Kento: I don't remember you telling me that!
Cye: Yes I did! You suggested it and I said…(Reaches into his pocket to pull out a slip of paper. Reads it) I sometimes don't make it to the bathroom in time! (Suddenly realizes what he read and turns a dark red color while the audience laughs)
Kento: (Fights to keep a straight face) Well, I don't see how that relates to taking a road-trip!
Cye: (Is embarrassed) I was sick that day! I was delirious and didn't know what I was saying or how I was saying it!
Kento: Sure, buddy, whatever you say. (Pats Cye comfortingly on the shoulder) Just remember this…(Rummages for a slip of paper, pulls it out and reads it) Stalin loves you.
Cye: (Looks confused) Stalin? …Isn't he a Russian dictator?
Kento: …Yes.
Cye: …Isn't he kinda…well…dead? (At this the audience begins to laugh)
Kento: Uhhh…Yeah, he is.
Cye: (Makes a disgusted face) EWWW!! That's disgusting man!
Kento: (Slightly flustered) Uhh…yeah…So, how are we going to get out of this mess?
Cye: (Looks at him strangely) What makes you think that I would know?
Kento: But don't you know everything?
Cye: I'm not Dr. bloody-Bernofsky!
Kento: (Is confused) Who?
Cye: You know, the guy who said…(reaches into his pocket and pulls out a slip of paper) 'The sky is falling'!
Kento: Actually, I think that was a hen in a fairytale.
Cye: I meant he's the guy who knows everything!
Kento: Ohhh…So why don't we ask him for help? (Audience begins to laugh)
Cye: …He doesn't exist. He's a figment of somebody's imagination. He's (Rummages for another slip of paper. Quirks an eyebrow at the sentence) 'She's going to blow'?
Kento: Uhhhh…okay…So, this guy's not real? (Currently, everyone is thinking 'duh!')
Cye: Yep.
Kento: …Why don't we call Rowen?
Cye: Kento, mate, what could Rowen possibly do in this situation?
Kento: …He could…(Pulls out a strip of paper) 'Meet me in my room at 5 for a…' (Reads the rest of the sentence to himself and begins to blush furiously, dropping the paper to the ground) Uh, never mind!
AAAANNNKKKKKK!!!
Helen: (Is trying very hard not to fall out of her chair laughing) All right, that's enough! I don't think we want this to go on any longer! And 1,000 points to each of you!
Kento: (Laughs nervously and heads back to his seat, Cye following him)
Helen: (Smiles evilly as Kento begins to sip at his water) So, why don't you tell us what the ending to that sentence was Kento?
Kento: (Chokes on his water and is sent into a small fit of coughing while turning a lovely shade of red as the audience laughs. When he finally gets his breathing under control, he turns to Helen with a horrified look on his face) WHAT?!
Helen: (Laughing) I was kidding! (She looks thoughtful) You know, I'm not sure that we want to know what the rest of that sentence was…(In the background, Kento nods furiously) Anyways, the next game is superheroes! (The audience cheers) Now, we're going to start the game out with Rowen!! (Audience cheers as Rowen makes his way to the center of the stage, looking slightly nervous) And we also need a name for our superhero!
Melissa: Captain Claustrophobia!
Kirie144280: Sir Dance-a-lot!
Megan: Annoying Catch Phrase Man!
LaDyWiLdFiReKiTtY: Mighty Hotdog Man!
Soon to be world renown Gracie: Thinks everything is gelatin man!
Audience member # 94: Superman!
Helen: (Turns to the general direction in which audience member #94 is sitting) We're not using already existing superheroes! That's called plagiarism! (Turns to Rowen) Anyways, Rowen, I think you'd make a wonderful Mighty Hotdog Man. (Smiles innocently at him)
Rowen: (Makes a face but nods anyway, knowing that he can't get out of it)
Helen: Great! Now, we need a crisis!
LaDyWiLdFiReKiTtY: There are no more hotdogs!
Soon to be world renown Gracie: The world's supply of deodorant is being stolen by crazed people called 'anime writers'! (There are a few raised eyebrows at this one)
Megan: All the elephants are turning into penguins! (There are more raised eyebrows at this)
Melissa: Evil mutant chickens are taking over the world and spontaneously crossing the roads for no apparent reason! (Everybody is confused by this one)
Kirie144280: Everyone's eyebrows are falling off!
Audience member #37: The world will be destroyed if we do not appease the volcano gods!
Helen: All right! That's enough! We're getting too weird here. Anyways, Mighty Hotdog Man, it looks like the evil mutant chickens are taking over the world and spontaneously crossing roads. What are you going to do? (Smiles evilly)
Rowen: (Looks at Helen in something akin to complete horror) Can't you pick another? If I'm Mighty Hotdog Man, why don't you make the crisis 'there are no more hotdogs'? That would make sense!
Helen: Who said it had to make sense? (Audience laughs) Oh, and you have to name the other superheroes as they join you.
Rowen: O.O I have to WHAT?!
Helen: Relax, you can use the other names that the audience suggested. And get a move on! Those mutant chickens wait for no man!
Rowen: (Sighs and proceeds to pantomime cooking hotdogs on the barbeque. He moves around the stage for a moment) Now where did I put those buns…? (He suddenly looks up, obviously startled) Is…is that a chicken? (Pretends to look in the distance as the audience laughs) It's…crossing the road? (Raises an eyebrow) And I thought there was no truth to that joke…(Begins to rummage around) Now where are those bu– (Looks up again, in a different direction this time) Is…is that another chicken?! …And it's crossing the road too? Wait. I should get the Mighty Hotdog Binoculars! (Pretends to take out binoculars and adjust them as the audience laughs at the corny name) Gadzooks! That's no ordinary chicken! That's an evil mutant chicken! And it's…spontaneously crossing the road…(Turns in another direction) And there's one over there! (Turns to another direction) And one over there! (Turns behind him) And there's one at the end of the street! That can only mean one thing…(Pretends to take the binoculars away from his eyes and looks at the audience dramatically) The evil mutant chickens are taking over the world and spontaneously crossing roads! (He keeps this pose for a moment before sniffing the air) Is something burning? (Stands there for a moment) O.O THE HOTDOGS! (Rushes over to where the barbeque is and frantically pantomimes taking the hotdogs off of it as the audience laughs at him) And I still need the buns!
Ryo: (Jogs to the middle of the stage) Hey Mighty Hotdog Man! Did you know that there are evil mutant chickens everywhere?
Rowen: Actually, yes I did Captain Claustrophobia! (Absentmindedly pantomimes putting the hotdogs back on the barbeque)
Ryo: (Shrugs and then looks around the stage with an expression of fear on his face) Why is your backyard so small?!
Rowen: Uhhh, Captain? My backyard is the biggest in the city.
Ryo: But you have too much stuff in it! There's not enough room!
Rowen: All that's back here is my barbeque!
Ryo: (Points near said 'barbeque') Your hotdogs are on fire!
Rowen: WHAT? (Turns and acts surprised) Quick, get the fire extinguisher! It's in the kitchen!
Ryo: The kitchen's a small place! I can't stand small places!
Cye: (Comes onstage) I came as soon as I could! (Looks in direction of 'barbeque') Hey! Your hotdogs are on fire!
Rowen: Oh, thank God you're here Annoying Catch Phrase Man! Quick! Get the fire extinguisher!
Cye: (Looks annoyed for a moment before pointing at Rowen) Only you can stop forest fires!
Rowen: Yes, whatever! Just get the fire extinguisher!
Cye: Be cool about fire safety.
Rowen: (Irritated) Just get the dammed fire extinguisher!
Ryo: (Wailing) WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!! The room is filling with smoke and we'll all die of smoke inhalation! (Hugs himself)
Rowen: (Turning to him) Okay, first of all, there isn't a room to fill up with! Second, we're not going to die unless the mutant chickens kill us. And third, the fire wouldn't be a problem if SOMEONE WOULD GET THE FRIGGIN FIRE EXTIGUISHER!!!
Cye: Welcome to my world.
Rowen: (Rounds on Cye, looking as if he could strangle him) If you would stop standing there, then we could DO something!
Sage: (Jumps onstage) Sorry I'm late. The rabid fan girls were mobbing me again.
Rowen: Sir Dance-a-lot! You finally made it!
Sage: (Gives Rowen a good long glare then begins to dance around the three other boys) So, did you know that the mutant chickens are trying to take over the world and have crossed almost every road in the country already?
Rowen: No, but we have a more pressing matter at hand! My hotdogs are on fire and no one will get me a fire extinguisher!
Sage: (Clearly scandalized) But the fate of the world is at stake! Why are you concerned with your dinner?!
Rowen: (Strikes a heroic pose) Because I'm Mighty Hotdog Man! Defender of hotdogs everywhere! Making sure that every hotdog is cooked to perfection! (Audience laughs hysterically)
Cye: It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's Superman!
Rowen: Wrong superhero kid.
Ryo: There are too many people! (Brings his hands to his throat) I can't breathe! We're all gonna die!!!
Kento: (Runs onstage) Sorry I didn't get here earlier! Those evil mutant chickens kept crossing the road right in front of my car!
Rowen: Thinks Everything is Gelatin Man! We need your help!
Kento: (Scowls at Rowen) How can I help you?
Rowen: (Turns away from him and looks towards the others. Ryo is cowering in the center of the stage, Cye is shouting random things like 'Thank you, thank you very much' [which was done in a corny Elvis Presley voice] and Sage is still dancing around everyone) We need a plan in order to – (Stops and stares at Kento who is picking at his hair) What are you doing?!
Kento: Is your hair made of blue raspberry jell-o?
Rowen: (Blinks) Excuse me?
Kento: 'Cause you know, it's the perfect color for it.
Rowen: (Pulls away from him) No, it is not! Now we need to get back to putting out the fire!
Sage: (Dances up to him) NO! We need to work on a plan to save the world from the mutant chickens!
Ryo: There are too many people! …Walls…closing in…air supply…getting low…(Begins to sway)
Rowen: THERE ARE NO WALLS IN MY BACKYARD!
Kento: Hey, this lime jell-o isn't very good…
Rowen: O.o Stop eating the grass!
Kento: Oh…(Looks at his hand) I thought it tasted weird…
Cye: Spit that out! You don't know where it's been!
Sage: (Dancing around) We need to find a way to save the world from the evil mutant chickens!
Ryo: (Is sitting on the stage with his legs pulled up to his chest and is hugging them. He is ignoring everybody else) Wide-open spaces…wide-open spaces…
Rowen: But what about my hotdogs?!
Sage: (Almost stops dancing for a second) Who cares about your stupid hotdogs?! We have to save the world!!!
Kento: Why don't we have a huge barbeque and have the evil mutant chickens as the main course? (Thinks for a moment) …And cherry jell-o for dessert?
Everyone else (On stage): (Look thoughtful)
Sage: (Suddenly remembers that he has to keep dancing and begins to dance around again) You know, that's just crazy enough to work!
Rowen: Can we have hotdogs too?
Cye: Why not?
Rowen: I'm in!
Ryo: But…but there will be lots of people there…That means there won't be much room…it'll be a small space…I hate small spaces!! OO (Begins to rock back and forth and begins his mantra again)
Kento: (Pretending to be glad that everyone liked his idea) Great! I'll go get the jell-o! (Runs offstage and then goes to his seat in the background)
Sage: (Dances over to Rowen. Looks at him while dancing in place and says sarcastically) I'm so confident in your abilities to think of the good of all humankind.
Rowen: (Pretending not to catch on to the sarcasm) Thanks!
Sage: (Glares at Rowen then dances away) I'm off to buy a giant barbeque! Have Annoying Catch Phrase Man round up some hungry people! (Dances offstage then takes his seat, looking extremely relieved that it's over)
Ryo: (Still in his fetal position and still chanting)
Rowen: (Turns to Cye, ignoring Ryo) Well, you heard him. Get going!
Cye: (Begins to walk off then turns and says in a cheesy Schwarzenegger accent) I'll be back.
Rowen: Yes, I know you'll be back…And you'll bring lots of hungry people with you!
Cye: Asta la vista baby!
Rowen: Yes! You're leaving! Now!
Cye: Ciao for now!
Rowen: Just leave! (Pushes Cye towards the end of the stage)
Cye: (After a disapproving glare at Rowen for shoving him, sits in his seat)
Ryo: (Still on the ground, looking extremely scared)
Rowen: (Looks down at Ryo curiously and joins him on the floor) You know, there's a big field on the other side of town. Why don't you go hang out there for a while?
Ryo: (Looks up at him) A big, wide-open field?
Rowen: Yep.
Ryo: (Getting up shakily) A big open field…that'll be good…yeah…(Walks offstage then takes his seat, looking relieved)
Rowen: (Gets back to his feet and strikes a heroic pose) Well, it looks like the world is saved! (Looks over to where his 'barbeque' and his eyes widen) THE HOTDOGS ARE STILL ON FIRE!!!! (Runs offstage in the opposite direction of everyone else)
AAAAANNNNNNKKKKKKKK!!
Helen: Okay! Okay! (Laughing loudly) You guys are done! That was great!
Rowen: (At this looks up at the ceiling and mouths 'Thank you God' then takes his seat)
Helen: (Smiling hugely) That was great! Another 1,000 points to each of you! Now our next game will be…
Helen: Well, here we are at the end of another chapter! And again, I apologize for not getting it out sooner! And
Jill: Oh, enough with the apologies! What's going to be in the next chapter?
Helen: Okay, okay! Geez, you are so impatient! Anyways, next episode we shall have 'Two Line Vocabulary' and 'Foreign Film'! Now, I already have the lines for 'Two Line Vocabulary' but I need a situation for the Ronins to act it out to. And for 'Foreign Film' I need a language for them to be pretending to be speaking in.
Jill: And please try to make it a widely known language! Don't give us something that is remote like Ancient Egyptian or something.
Helen: Yes, please make it a language that most people know what it should sound like. Also I need a situation for the foreign language-speaking people to be acting out. Also, I would like to be able to involve all the Ronins in 'Foreign Film' so, would any of you offer to become part of the game? You see, to involve all the boys, we need another person to either act as a translator, or as a speaker of the language. I must also say, that if you do offer, that you won't really have a say in what you would say in response to anything said in the chapter. If you are offended easily, then I would suggest requesting that you be a language speaker. That way, anything that you say will be translated, and if something is said that you don't like, then you can blame it on a Ronin's dirty mind or something. Anyways, please review!
Jill: Yes! Send in nice reviews! They make us happy!
Helen: Yep! And I'm off to Italy! So, I'll see you all when I get back! I promise to try and work faster when I return! Ciao!