Ok here is yet another new chapter on this story. The last part of it is
from another one of my stories that I adapted so I hope it makes sense. I
never posted the other one and I thought it might work here... Anyway I'm
just happy I had some time to post anything so...
Would he help me? Could I trust him? I used to be able to but... now? I didn't know. The question of the most importance though was if he was home. If he wasn't then all my wonders were pointless. Just please be home, I prayed. I walked up to door and pushed the intercom thing for his room, 172. "Hey," was his answer.
I looked upwards at where I believed his room was and then decided to talk. My tears were stilled in my eyes as I mumbled my response, "Hey Pike?"
I could almost feel his eyes searching for the face to match my voice. He didn't catch it yet, I could tell by the silence. He cleared his voice and answered, "Yes this is he."
"Hey long time no speak," I said a sob breaking though. "It's um Buffy." I could almost see him smiling at the name. He remembered me and he should. I mean I had saved his life a few times. He pushed the button allowing me to pass. I bounded up the stairs and walked down the hall till I was right in front of Pike's door. I remember the last time I was here. I had been crying as I was now, but only because I would be moving and he would be staying. Now I had worse problems to deal with. I can't believe it took me eight years to come back here again, I wonder what his life has been like since I left. I extended my arm towards the door and knocked. I heard footsteps bumbling towards me. Then the door opened and there he stood just as he always had.
"Is this a good time?" I asked tears falling down my cheeks. Maybe I never should have come? Maybe he was busy? What happened if he wasn't alone? I sniffled trying to keep my sobs inside. He looked at me seeing my tears nodded and held out his hand in a gesture to enter. He was alone I saw now. There was no need for me to have worried. Well about that anyway. I turned back to him and burst into sobs. I had been holding onto them for a while now but now they were loose. I had no choice but to yet them rage.
I flung my arms around his neck as he stood there and held me. He knew I just needed to be held. We had been through a lot together. I remember him holding me when my first watcher had died. I remember how he just seemed to know that this is what I needed. "Shh, shh, it's okay, it's okay," he tired his best to comfort my obvious troubles.
We stood like that for a while until I finally let go. He stared into my eyes. "What happened? Are you okay? What are you doing here?" he questioned me not knowing what had happened. He didn't know what I had been through tonight, heck; he didn't know the worst of my life. He didn't know about me when I was in Sunnydale. He couldn't, I hadn't let him. I think I wanted him to be able to live without the troubles of, well me. I wasn't safe, I wasn't normal. Ha, I thought, wasn't that just what Angel had done to me? He had left me, it seemed so long ago and why? Just so that I could live a normal life. Yeah right!
"I-I lost everything..." I began to look like I would start crying all over again. "I came to hel-p," I stumbled on my words knowing that any little thing I said could push me over. "I signed it all away. Everything. My life, myself."
He looked confused. "What did you do?" concerned bellowing off of his question.
"I-I went to Wolfram and Hart. I wanted to help... there was a, was a fight and I wanted to help. I didn't know I was too late. I couldn't. I could only do one thing. I needed to help... He was there and offered me... He offered me a way to help. I took it and I-I lost everything. My slayer powers... my friends, family, everything. All gone. They're all gone. I didn't really loose the people though. Not really but I can't, I can't go tell them what happened, I can't because I signed away that. I signed away my ability to tell them what happened, and I can't even go back to them. No, I can't because I signed away that as well. I can't live that life there with them because I'm not able to now!" I managed to tell Pike what had happened without entirely braking down again. He listened to me waiting for the story to come to a conclusion.
"It's okay, It's okay don't worry," He told me as I slowly began to tear again.
"I have no where to go," I stated crying full force again.
"Don't worry, you don't need to worry, you can stay here," Pike told me watching as my face softened a bit and I hugged him again.
"I can't do that, I'll impose too much on you. I've already. I've just been a pain. I told you all my troubles and you are just you. You listen; you help me by-by just listening. I couldn't wreck your life. I'm a mess," I told him secretly hoping that he'd keep me safe. With him I felt safe.
"Don't be silly, come on Buffy you know it's nothing. I couldn't in my right mind just leave you all alone. We can talk about this more in the morning, you need some sleep," Pike replied leading me into a bedroom. He tucked me into bed and then left me alone. I fell asleep almost immediately to be plagued with a blackness that seemed to be horrible but to me was comforting.
Standing in the dark I looked around feeling totally calm and secure. I didn't want to leave; I didn't want to go back... ever.
"You know you have to return," A voice sounded throughout the empty space.
"I don't think I can," I replied looking around for the person who had spoken to me. I finally caught the face of the person talking to me just a few feet away. It was Cordelia?
"You can, your just afraid at what's waiting on the other side. Pain, sadness, misunderstanding and the outcome. Mostly though your scared that now you won't be excepted, what you are, what you've become..." Cordy stated looking at my weary expression. "You never knew that this would happen to you... you never wanted it, and now everything that has ever meant anything to you has been taken away"
"When did you become so smart?" I asked looking at this new Cordelia that I had never really known. She used to be so hurtful now all she did was help. She helped me, she helped Angel, and she helped everything around her.
"Right after I met you," Cordy mentioned and smiled. "You can start a new life. You can become a normal person..."
I nodded knowing that she told me the truth, I'd have to leave this non- feeling; I'd have to go. "I don't mean to pry but when did y-," I asked fading off not wanting to say the word die.
"Not too long ago," Cordy answered me in a carefree tone. It didn't bug her to be dead. It was the only way she could be and that was enough for her. I remember feeling like that or something like that.
"I'm so sorry," I started looking down not wanting to stare into her bright eyes. A few seconds of silence passed, "Thank-you."
"I've been getting that a lot lately," Cordy said catching my eyes. "Your welcome."
I looked down at my hands and I knew I had to go. I had to enter my own world. Looking up to say goodbye I found Cordy smiling at me. She turned around left me alone.
"Good bye," I whispered to the empty room. Then I closed my eyes and awoke. It was time to get on with my life. It was time to have a normal life!
Thank you for reading! 170017
Would he help me? Could I trust him? I used to be able to but... now? I didn't know. The question of the most importance though was if he was home. If he wasn't then all my wonders were pointless. Just please be home, I prayed. I walked up to door and pushed the intercom thing for his room, 172. "Hey," was his answer.
I looked upwards at where I believed his room was and then decided to talk. My tears were stilled in my eyes as I mumbled my response, "Hey Pike?"
I could almost feel his eyes searching for the face to match my voice. He didn't catch it yet, I could tell by the silence. He cleared his voice and answered, "Yes this is he."
"Hey long time no speak," I said a sob breaking though. "It's um Buffy." I could almost see him smiling at the name. He remembered me and he should. I mean I had saved his life a few times. He pushed the button allowing me to pass. I bounded up the stairs and walked down the hall till I was right in front of Pike's door. I remember the last time I was here. I had been crying as I was now, but only because I would be moving and he would be staying. Now I had worse problems to deal with. I can't believe it took me eight years to come back here again, I wonder what his life has been like since I left. I extended my arm towards the door and knocked. I heard footsteps bumbling towards me. Then the door opened and there he stood just as he always had.
"Is this a good time?" I asked tears falling down my cheeks. Maybe I never should have come? Maybe he was busy? What happened if he wasn't alone? I sniffled trying to keep my sobs inside. He looked at me seeing my tears nodded and held out his hand in a gesture to enter. He was alone I saw now. There was no need for me to have worried. Well about that anyway. I turned back to him and burst into sobs. I had been holding onto them for a while now but now they were loose. I had no choice but to yet them rage.
I flung my arms around his neck as he stood there and held me. He knew I just needed to be held. We had been through a lot together. I remember him holding me when my first watcher had died. I remember how he just seemed to know that this is what I needed. "Shh, shh, it's okay, it's okay," he tired his best to comfort my obvious troubles.
We stood like that for a while until I finally let go. He stared into my eyes. "What happened? Are you okay? What are you doing here?" he questioned me not knowing what had happened. He didn't know what I had been through tonight, heck; he didn't know the worst of my life. He didn't know about me when I was in Sunnydale. He couldn't, I hadn't let him. I think I wanted him to be able to live without the troubles of, well me. I wasn't safe, I wasn't normal. Ha, I thought, wasn't that just what Angel had done to me? He had left me, it seemed so long ago and why? Just so that I could live a normal life. Yeah right!
"I-I lost everything..." I began to look like I would start crying all over again. "I came to hel-p," I stumbled on my words knowing that any little thing I said could push me over. "I signed it all away. Everything. My life, myself."
He looked confused. "What did you do?" concerned bellowing off of his question.
"I-I went to Wolfram and Hart. I wanted to help... there was a, was a fight and I wanted to help. I didn't know I was too late. I couldn't. I could only do one thing. I needed to help... He was there and offered me... He offered me a way to help. I took it and I-I lost everything. My slayer powers... my friends, family, everything. All gone. They're all gone. I didn't really loose the people though. Not really but I can't, I can't go tell them what happened, I can't because I signed away that. I signed away my ability to tell them what happened, and I can't even go back to them. No, I can't because I signed away that as well. I can't live that life there with them because I'm not able to now!" I managed to tell Pike what had happened without entirely braking down again. He listened to me waiting for the story to come to a conclusion.
"It's okay, It's okay don't worry," He told me as I slowly began to tear again.
"I have no where to go," I stated crying full force again.
"Don't worry, you don't need to worry, you can stay here," Pike told me watching as my face softened a bit and I hugged him again.
"I can't do that, I'll impose too much on you. I've already. I've just been a pain. I told you all my troubles and you are just you. You listen; you help me by-by just listening. I couldn't wreck your life. I'm a mess," I told him secretly hoping that he'd keep me safe. With him I felt safe.
"Don't be silly, come on Buffy you know it's nothing. I couldn't in my right mind just leave you all alone. We can talk about this more in the morning, you need some sleep," Pike replied leading me into a bedroom. He tucked me into bed and then left me alone. I fell asleep almost immediately to be plagued with a blackness that seemed to be horrible but to me was comforting.
Standing in the dark I looked around feeling totally calm and secure. I didn't want to leave; I didn't want to go back... ever.
"You know you have to return," A voice sounded throughout the empty space.
"I don't think I can," I replied looking around for the person who had spoken to me. I finally caught the face of the person talking to me just a few feet away. It was Cordelia?
"You can, your just afraid at what's waiting on the other side. Pain, sadness, misunderstanding and the outcome. Mostly though your scared that now you won't be excepted, what you are, what you've become..." Cordy stated looking at my weary expression. "You never knew that this would happen to you... you never wanted it, and now everything that has ever meant anything to you has been taken away"
"When did you become so smart?" I asked looking at this new Cordelia that I had never really known. She used to be so hurtful now all she did was help. She helped me, she helped Angel, and she helped everything around her.
"Right after I met you," Cordy mentioned and smiled. "You can start a new life. You can become a normal person..."
I nodded knowing that she told me the truth, I'd have to leave this non- feeling; I'd have to go. "I don't mean to pry but when did y-," I asked fading off not wanting to say the word die.
"Not too long ago," Cordy answered me in a carefree tone. It didn't bug her to be dead. It was the only way she could be and that was enough for her. I remember feeling like that or something like that.
"I'm so sorry," I started looking down not wanting to stare into her bright eyes. A few seconds of silence passed, "Thank-you."
"I've been getting that a lot lately," Cordy said catching my eyes. "Your welcome."
I looked down at my hands and I knew I had to go. I had to enter my own world. Looking up to say goodbye I found Cordy smiling at me. She turned around left me alone.
"Good bye," I whispered to the empty room. Then I closed my eyes and awoke. It was time to get on with my life. It was time to have a normal life!
Thank you for reading! 170017