This would be the alternate ending that was more fun to write. . . I think I needed to after the creepiness of the first two chapters. Eek!
Hellsing isn't mine; nobody said "you have permission to go write Hellfic!" and I make no money off this.
..
Alucard leaned back against the wall and listened to Seras cleaning her Halconnen in the next room. Before him, a rangy shape paced and ranted. That striking accent was pouring over him in a steady wave. In the past, Alucard had always been that tiniest bit too busy waiting for swords to come his way to appreciate it. He momentarily tuned back in.
"I said it would be a good idea to move carefully," Anderson was saying. "I could have told you that 'don't finish all of that, we haven't let Walter know we've increased the blood ration. Oh, and I don't want you killing him' wasn't the way to inform a member of the fairer sex. How were you intending to tell Integra? Were you intending to launch me at her with a catapult?" He paused to direct an intense glare at Alucard.
"Go on," Alucard said, ready to just listen to the rise and fall of his voice again and disregard his words. He was mentally trying to decide if the former priest should still have glasses or not. He was just used to seeing the man wearing them, he supposed. Alexander obliged, his white coat flaring about him as he paced. Alucard cocked his head. The clicking sounds coming through the wall informed him that Seras was re-assembling the Halconnen. He might have to remind her of Integra's rule of no artillery near the house's foundations.
"Are you listening to me?" Anderson's ire very nearly pushed his words into incomprehensibility.
"Of course," Alucard said, standing. "Go on."
The door swung open just as Anderson was starting to melodiously oblige. Seras stepped in. She was only holding her pistol. She holstered it, staring at the two of them. "Master, have you gone mad?"
Anderson muttered something about the innate tendency of chaotic creatures to insanity.
"Isn't he perfect?" Alucard beamed.
"I'm telling Integra." Seras slammed the door behind her. Alucard could hear her standing outside in the hall for a moment before she slammed back in, looking much less like a childish vampire and more like a moody teenaged one. Seras did not deal with surprises well, he reflected. He supposed it was because most of them tried to kill her.
"Couldn't waste a perfectly good virgin," he offered. He crossed to Anderson, gripping his chin and turning his head. "Look at his eyes. Isn't that odd? I was expecting them to go red, but instead they're yellow." Anderson reflexively requested a mirror. The two of them ignored him.
"Have you told Integra?"
"Of course not," Alucard said, letting go of Anderson's chin and letting his hand rest on his shoulder instead. "I want the Vatican's search party to hit London a few times first."
"You're just going to keep him in the basement?" Seras stepped a little closer. "I don't think you can do it. He paces too much."
"Now if I had access to a forge, and perhaps a few long pieces of metal, oo, I'd show you. . ." Anderson muttered, shifting from foot to foot.
"I do like his eyes." Seras tried a remotely friendly overture. "They're not green-yellow. More amber. Some of the great cats have eyes like that."
". . . oh, aye! Not an abomination -- but an experiment in zoology! That will go over well with Maxwell."
"Is he all right?" Seras whispered as the tall man crossed the room again, demanding what Alucard's coffin was looking at.
"Shock," explained Alucard in an aside. "You had the same general reaction, but you were much more placid than this."
Seras shook her head, leaning against the wall by Alucard. "Tell me when you introduce your lion-eyed friend to Integra. Ideally, I should be so far away she'll forget I exist."
..
And yes, of course there's another alternate ending, but I forgot it.
No. Really.
Which is, in retrospect, just as well.
Thanks for reading.