Wednesday morning I woke up feeling happier than I had in months. The sun
was shining through my windows and it was a gorgeous day. Life was....better.
Not great, but better. There was a purpose to getting up in the morning. I
got dressed in a bright yellow tank top and jeans, cheery clothes. Going
downstairs I grabbed a juice and skipped off to school.
Then, as I neared the school I remembered the harsh words of my friends, I mean ex friends, and others. They weren't going to stop being vicious just because I was feeling good, just because I won a contest and made one friend. They would continue to taunt me, I knew it. Suddenly I wished I wasn't wearing that bright yellow tank top and I wished I wasn't going to school.
As soon as I walked though the school gates something beyond my fears happened, someone had seen me compete at the self-defence night, and he wasn't impressed.
"Hey Buggy, I saw you at that self-defence thing last night, what are you planning? You're gunna get real strong and then start a fight with me and my friends? You better stop soon or I swear you will regret it."
"It's Buffy" I yelled, agitation showing in my voice.
"Whatever, point is, if you still want your head the same shape you better stop going there. That was my sister you beat the other night and she was not happy."
I looked at him, his eyes were narrowed and he looked really scary. Slowly I backed away and then walked off to one of my favourite places; the toilets.
* * *
That night I was supposed to have training but I decided it was pointless going. People are just going to aggravate me about it.
Not wanting to tell mom because I knew she'd be disappointed I went anyway but instead of going in I walked down Main Street towards a lonely little coffee shop. It was in a back alley which I knew no one from school went to because of the dinginess factor. Settling down with a latte I relaxed, just letting thoughts flow through my head.
I pondered over some questions. Why do they hate me so much? It's not like it really matters that I had a brief bad period in my life. Things change, people change. And Glory, why did she feel the need to ruin my life? Was it because I was more popular and she couldn't handle being second best?
Then, a thought occurred to me, I didn't have to take being dragged around like road kill, I could stand up for myself. Maybe talking back instead of cowering was the best answer; what have I got to lose? My friends - nope, lost them already. I might as well try and at least gain a little respect and if it doesn't work then who cares?
I checked my watch and seeing that I should just be getting out of class right about then I headed off toward home.
Mom was in the kitchen drinking a cup of tea and reading the day's paper when I entered. "Hey honey, how are you? How was that class?"
"Hi mom, I'm good," I said truthfully. "Class was great," that wasn't so truthful, but hey, one little white lie can't hurt. Can it?
"That's great honey, there's some food in the fridge if you want it, just heat it up in the microwave. I have to go to the gallery for a little while to take an inventory of a collection of paintings that just got shipped in yesterday. I shouldn't be too long, maybe an hour or two."
"Ok mom, have a good time. I will be fine by myself."
"Great," mom said. "See you later then."
Once mom had left I pulled some spaghetti out of the fridge and settled down in front of the T.V without really paying attention to the people on- screen. I was thinking about what I could say to the girls who made my life hell.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Choosing what to wear that morning was difficult, I needed something that I could feel comfortable in if I was going to confront everyone but then again it needed to be something confident as well. After about half an hour of deliberating I threw on a crimson tee-shirt and a pair of black pants along with an essential - my boots.
As I approached the looming black gates of Sunnydale I felt sharp needles jabbing into my stomach but I knew that I had to stay confident if I wanted to pull it all off.
As I walked by the group of girls that used to be my best friends I over- heard Cordelia talking.
"Hey, I was looking through my vogue magazine the other day and I saw that those ugly black boots we used to wear were soooo out of fashion, the latest craze is these gorgeous ugh boots, check them out." Cordy showed them off to everyone as they admired.
That was the last straw; I turned towards them with fury pounding through my body. I knew that comment was directed straight at me.
Facing Cordelia directly I asked stonily; "What are you saying about me Cordelia?"
"What are you talking about?" She said a little too cheerfully.
"Don't act like you don't know that you talked about those shoes just to be mean to me." I told her, slowly, angrily.
"Why would I be mean to you Buffy? You're nothing; I don't care the slightest about you anymore and never will. Other people may continue to say stuff to you but I don't even want to give you the time of day."
Cordelia's words sunk harshly into my brain as I realised she was right; I was nothing, a pebble in amongst a huge beach full of boulders.
Tears pricked my eyes and I tried to hold them back so no-one could see but one of Cordelia and Glory's groupies already did.
"Hey, look, she's crying! You made her cry, good on you Cordy." She giggled harshly and the group walked off.
I suddenly just let the hot, salty tears pour down my face and I turned and began running.
Nothing could have possibly been nastier than those cruel words. Not caring was the worst thing she could have done, if she'd been mean at least it would have been a form of caring.
My feet hit the pavement with force as I pounded down the path. Finally I collapsed in tears in a little nook of the school that most people didn't pass by.
Anger boiled thick in my blood but somewhere in that anger there was sadness. Nothing could take away the pain that I felt of losing my best friend.
Pulling a pocket knife from my bag I opened it slowly and not knowing what to do with my anger and sadness I sliced a deep cut straight into my forearm.
I grimaced with pain when the blade entered but as the thick red blood trickled slowly down my arm it gave me some feeling of satisfaction. The pain that was coursing through me was taking away the feeling of all else that was terrible in my life.
That reaction only lasted a few seconds so then I lifted up the knife again ready to strike into a new spot on my pale skin when a hand closed over mine and lifted the knife away.
A/N: Hey all, sorry for the wait on an update. The next chapter, ladies and gentlemen, is the long awaited arrival of the stranger who helps Buffy out. Hope you enjoyed this chapter; it had a cliff-hanger, mwa ha ha, I am so evil! Anyway, it's the holidays now so maybe I can get a couple more chapters out really soon. Thanks to Beth, golden+girl736, buffspike, Angeldiva696, chantel, Spike_lover, natasha and angela for reviewing, I really appreciate it!
Then, as I neared the school I remembered the harsh words of my friends, I mean ex friends, and others. They weren't going to stop being vicious just because I was feeling good, just because I won a contest and made one friend. They would continue to taunt me, I knew it. Suddenly I wished I wasn't wearing that bright yellow tank top and I wished I wasn't going to school.
As soon as I walked though the school gates something beyond my fears happened, someone had seen me compete at the self-defence night, and he wasn't impressed.
"Hey Buggy, I saw you at that self-defence thing last night, what are you planning? You're gunna get real strong and then start a fight with me and my friends? You better stop soon or I swear you will regret it."
"It's Buffy" I yelled, agitation showing in my voice.
"Whatever, point is, if you still want your head the same shape you better stop going there. That was my sister you beat the other night and she was not happy."
I looked at him, his eyes were narrowed and he looked really scary. Slowly I backed away and then walked off to one of my favourite places; the toilets.
* * *
That night I was supposed to have training but I decided it was pointless going. People are just going to aggravate me about it.
Not wanting to tell mom because I knew she'd be disappointed I went anyway but instead of going in I walked down Main Street towards a lonely little coffee shop. It was in a back alley which I knew no one from school went to because of the dinginess factor. Settling down with a latte I relaxed, just letting thoughts flow through my head.
I pondered over some questions. Why do they hate me so much? It's not like it really matters that I had a brief bad period in my life. Things change, people change. And Glory, why did she feel the need to ruin my life? Was it because I was more popular and she couldn't handle being second best?
Then, a thought occurred to me, I didn't have to take being dragged around like road kill, I could stand up for myself. Maybe talking back instead of cowering was the best answer; what have I got to lose? My friends - nope, lost them already. I might as well try and at least gain a little respect and if it doesn't work then who cares?
I checked my watch and seeing that I should just be getting out of class right about then I headed off toward home.
Mom was in the kitchen drinking a cup of tea and reading the day's paper when I entered. "Hey honey, how are you? How was that class?"
"Hi mom, I'm good," I said truthfully. "Class was great," that wasn't so truthful, but hey, one little white lie can't hurt. Can it?
"That's great honey, there's some food in the fridge if you want it, just heat it up in the microwave. I have to go to the gallery for a little while to take an inventory of a collection of paintings that just got shipped in yesterday. I shouldn't be too long, maybe an hour or two."
"Ok mom, have a good time. I will be fine by myself."
"Great," mom said. "See you later then."
Once mom had left I pulled some spaghetti out of the fridge and settled down in front of the T.V without really paying attention to the people on- screen. I was thinking about what I could say to the girls who made my life hell.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Choosing what to wear that morning was difficult, I needed something that I could feel comfortable in if I was going to confront everyone but then again it needed to be something confident as well. After about half an hour of deliberating I threw on a crimson tee-shirt and a pair of black pants along with an essential - my boots.
As I approached the looming black gates of Sunnydale I felt sharp needles jabbing into my stomach but I knew that I had to stay confident if I wanted to pull it all off.
As I walked by the group of girls that used to be my best friends I over- heard Cordelia talking.
"Hey, I was looking through my vogue magazine the other day and I saw that those ugly black boots we used to wear were soooo out of fashion, the latest craze is these gorgeous ugh boots, check them out." Cordy showed them off to everyone as they admired.
That was the last straw; I turned towards them with fury pounding through my body. I knew that comment was directed straight at me.
Facing Cordelia directly I asked stonily; "What are you saying about me Cordelia?"
"What are you talking about?" She said a little too cheerfully.
"Don't act like you don't know that you talked about those shoes just to be mean to me." I told her, slowly, angrily.
"Why would I be mean to you Buffy? You're nothing; I don't care the slightest about you anymore and never will. Other people may continue to say stuff to you but I don't even want to give you the time of day."
Cordelia's words sunk harshly into my brain as I realised she was right; I was nothing, a pebble in amongst a huge beach full of boulders.
Tears pricked my eyes and I tried to hold them back so no-one could see but one of Cordelia and Glory's groupies already did.
"Hey, look, she's crying! You made her cry, good on you Cordy." She giggled harshly and the group walked off.
I suddenly just let the hot, salty tears pour down my face and I turned and began running.
Nothing could have possibly been nastier than those cruel words. Not caring was the worst thing she could have done, if she'd been mean at least it would have been a form of caring.
My feet hit the pavement with force as I pounded down the path. Finally I collapsed in tears in a little nook of the school that most people didn't pass by.
Anger boiled thick in my blood but somewhere in that anger there was sadness. Nothing could take away the pain that I felt of losing my best friend.
Pulling a pocket knife from my bag I opened it slowly and not knowing what to do with my anger and sadness I sliced a deep cut straight into my forearm.
I grimaced with pain when the blade entered but as the thick red blood trickled slowly down my arm it gave me some feeling of satisfaction. The pain that was coursing through me was taking away the feeling of all else that was terrible in my life.
That reaction only lasted a few seconds so then I lifted up the knife again ready to strike into a new spot on my pale skin when a hand closed over mine and lifted the knife away.
A/N: Hey all, sorry for the wait on an update. The next chapter, ladies and gentlemen, is the long awaited arrival of the stranger who helps Buffy out. Hope you enjoyed this chapter; it had a cliff-hanger, mwa ha ha, I am so evil! Anyway, it's the holidays now so maybe I can get a couple more chapters out really soon. Thanks to Beth, golden+girl736, buffspike, Angeldiva696, chantel, Spike_lover, natasha and angela for reviewing, I really appreciate it!