AN: Do you remember where we were? DO you think I'm evil??? Hahaha
No! I'm not laughing. Just enjoying your surprise. And remember I only
promised not to kill Sirius!!!!!
Let's call the chapter: The Warning
Sirius ran like a drunken man towards the house and noticed that the bushes in the garden were burning. The house was all opened, there was light in every single room and the windows were open, too. But what scared him to death was a shining sign above the house. A dark mark.
The scene of the attack looked terrible. The nice, cottage house was no longer recognisable, it seemed to be a house of ghosts, windows and door wide open, lights on and wind blowing through the rooms with evil sounds. And the rain, heavy and cold, which made Sirius freeze, was from a different fairy tale, totally out of place. And the fire. Who the fuckin' hell had done that? The flames were shining at the ground and it looked terrible and awful, as one of the rings of hell that Sirius used to imagine. And above all of this, glued to the sky, the bright green frightening Dark Mark – the most horrifying disaster that could have happened.
And on that day. On a day that was to be his happiest day...
'JIIIILLLLL!!!!!!!' he shouted several times, but even if she had been there she wouldn't have heard it due to the noise of rain and wind.
He couldn't believe it. He was already totally wet and cold but didn't feel anything except enormous anger. But he also knew that the fury he felt was only shallow; that inside his soul, his heart was nothing left. Enormous emptiness was killing him. He lost everything. Why? What had he done wrong? Why had this happen? Why...Jill...
He was standing in front of the house door, trembling, shaking and crying. He couldn't move because the shock was paralysing. But his mind and memory was working, though he would like they didn't. He had really imagined their life, their happiness day by day. And now the images of Jill combing her impolite her, pictures of Jill resting at the sundown, Jill laughing with a glass of red wine in her hand, Jill making love to him...
The images attacked him when he closed his eyes, just not to look at the house for a while. The appeared in front of him when he gazed at the flames that, contrary to Coleman, were at least alive. The more he tried to concentrate on the unexpected and gloomy task he was given by fate or whatever, the more he heard her laugh, saw her beaming face, smiling to him, talking to him.
He wondered if he was dying and the minute before seeing the undone future in stead of the past.
And the more he saw the more depressed and glum he was. What was he doing there on Earth if the most pleasurable reason of his staying there disappeared. Like a burnt piece of paper. A man is no stronger than a piece of paper...
Then he suddenly realised that he had seen such a scene before. He had seen a dark mark over friends' house, ages ago and the similarity of the situation almost killed him. And he again believed it was his fault. Although house of Potters was destroyed, other facts fitted. Sirius swallowed. It was terrible, he couldn't find words how much terrible it was, to find best friends' dead bodies. A sudden blow of total emptiness. Now even stronger, he had to admit, stronger because he had to move, find and see the dead body of a woman that... A woman who... A woman he loved...
He asked himself why the hell Jill, he wanted to persuade himself that she shouldn't have been killed. What had she done to the evil people. The armless, weak, small girl... But that was useless, it didn't help him because he knew that Jill could have been the aim of attack as good as Dumbledore, the Weaseys of whoever who was in the Order. And, to make matters worse and more hopeless, she was an active member. And dangerous...
'Not anymore' he whispered through his tears and decided to get into the house and find out. Just in time he remembered to take the wand out. He forgot to do it before, too frightened to move or act. Now he had found his courage and usual confidence.
He approached fast the main, open door, wand in his right hand, conscious and careful eyes examining the surroundings. He should have felt doubled or even tripled coldness that surrounded him when he came closer, but his unusual state, wetness of his clothes, emptiness of his soul, hidden anger and sorrow, somehow disabled his senses. And to his own safety and comfort he should have felt the cool air, because he wouldn't have been hit with a strong freezing jinx the moment he tried to enter the hall.
He was flabbergasted and even forgot to shiver from feet to the top of his head. But he felt it immediately: the coldness running through his veins, freezing him. He knew that if he stopped moving for a single moment he would have been frozen to death.
So the aggressors were so evil that killing Coleman wasn't enough: they also wanted to cause pain to the rescuers. Sirius was walking in front of the door trying to think how to get in. And he wondered why the spell wasn't strong enough to make him lose consciousness. He turned round, just to warm himself and spotted the burning bushes. Of course! He should get nearer and use the warmth of the flames.
'Thanks Goodness they set the fire' he whispered and slowly followed. The air was warmer and Sirius felt his clothes melting (they were cold and wet now, but that was better that frozen blood). He sighed and closed his eyes trying to find solution.
'Huh!' he laughed at himself. 'There's no solution. Unsolvable matter. Jill's...'
He couldn't finish those dark thoughts because of a strange sound, as if somebody was coming, that was heard from behind the bushes. He swallowed and shouted:
'Who's there!! Don't move!!'
there was no answer, but he could have promised he heard somebody trying to reply. Then he or she stopped moving.
'Wait!' Sirius shouted and suddenly found strength to run round the bushes to find out who was it.
It could have been just a stray dog, he thought and wondered why the hell his heart that was almost dead a second ago, was now beating badly. Why??
He saw a blurred shape next to burning bushes. He realised it was a human and was trembling. The person was trying to get up, but had problems with it and all he or she managed to do was not to fall into the flames. A stream of hope was almost exploding Sirius from inside. He knew it was stupid and hopeless, but he believed.
The strange person tried once again to get up and this time managed, because strong arm of Sirius helped her and the crying and caring voice of Sirius whispered passionately into her ear: "Jill..."
Sirius hugged Jill as strong as he could, put his arms tightly around her and pulled her frozen, cooled body to his. His hands were running across her back and sides madly, he was desperate to feel that she was real material and alive.
Was it possible? Was it possible that he was holding her tight, touching her, embracing Jill, who he thought was killed? Miracles happen, he would say if his mind wasn't occupied with different things.
'Jill, my honey, my dearest honey... I was so scared, so scared' he repeated into her ear, kissing her wet head as if he wanted to warm her with his words. He was totally happy, it was an absolute ecstasy to find her, touch her material and living body. His emotions made a terribly rapid turn of 180 degrees. And he was euphoric. He wanted to laugh and laugh and dance in spite of the situation, but was holding her tight trying to calm her. And he was calming himself as well.
'Sirius' Jill whispered, her face pressed to his neck. The first word she said after resurrection (in Sirius' point of view) was his name!!!! He felt her hands on his chest an then on his back, embracing him gently and hungrily. In a tender, lover-like way that almost ensured Sirius' hopes of her love. She hugged him stronger and spoke, slowly, stopping several times, to take a breath or to sob a little.
'I... I was so scared too, too frightened to get in and... because I was at library and... I thought it could be Pola, who wanted to drop in, or Dumbledore, or whoever... I was so scared it could have been you Sirius... so..' she broke down and cried into his robes. She felt his gentle kisses on her head and that was... well soothing and peaceful and loving. She heard him whispering her name and millions of caring names. She felt his warm arms through her wet clothes and she could feel his blood flowing across his veins. That was so... intimate.
They were standing like that for long, enjoying the moment of unexpected reunion, enjoying each other's presence. Sirius' tears faded away, his spirits were to high to worry him. Jill however was still crying in his arm, she whispered long, lazy, depressive sentences, criticising herself. Sirius at first thought she was still telling him how much scared she was. Not anymore, now she felt:
'...miserable' she cried. 'totally miserable, unable to do anything... powerless, poor... why am I? I pretended I was strong, and smart...oh god, people surely thought I was a big-headed bitch... I wasn't able o defend myself... I came here and I...I couldn't do a thing!... I..'
'Stop it, Jill' he shouted, though silently. 'Don't blame or punish yourself. Look. The freezing jinx hit you and you survived, Jill. SURVIVED! I was almost killed by it, and I was the second one... It must have been terribly powerful...'
'No, no, I'm weak, Sirius, go. Leave me. I'm the looser, please...'
'Jill, I'm not gonna leave you!' he said honestly, stroking her hair and trying to calm her 'These jinxes always cause depression, if one's lucky to recover.'
'I've 'lways though I can d'it. Ya know: fight' she interrupted him and chocked because of tears. 'And I can't. Fuck I can't...'
She burst into crying once more and hid hrs face in his robes. She suddenly became aware of his closeness, of his male body holding her tight, whispering comforting words. Behind the material she could smell his fragrance, masculine and intensive. A scent that melted her body. Why was he so near? Maybe he...
But Sirius interrupted her thoughts by pushing her lightly away, hands on her arms, eyes gazing direct into hers (wonderful, like burning bushes; the eyes of gold).
'We have to get out of here or you'll die because of coldness, wetness and depression' he spoke to her as if she was a child, but tried to sound amusingly. She was watching him through the tears, indifferently. She wondered what he was talking about. We? 'Do you understand it, Jill??? Babe? We don't wanna die here.' She nodded "yes" and he smiled with relief.
'Good! We have to stop the fire, remove the mark, close the house...'
He broke off because Jill moved away from him, and examined the garden and house. She looked completely conscious now. Sirius only regretted that her coming to senses meant going away from him. Well, it didn't matter to him: he still had his aim of the day. Aim of his life.
Sirius decided to talk on. Maybe she wasn't aware of the situation. She really looked lost.
'I can deal with the fire, the mark, baby, but you have to close the house, I can't do it because it's yours. Sweetheart? You think you can do it?'
She gazed at him and nodded again. Then, her face cold and paler than usual, her body trembling, but her eyes aware of everything, she asked.
'Why are you doing this Sirius?'
'Are you kidding?' he was slightly shocked. 'I...' he came to her and embraced her. 'Jill, we have to move, we'll have plenty of time later...' He didn't want to let her go, see her work in such a dreadful (though, he swore at himself, hot and sexy) way. She thought she was miserable and he found that sexy? She looked like hell (he didn't better), but still there was an irresistible way she moved, and gazed at the world. Even the way she spoke bullshits about herself was exciting. He smiled and gazed down at her. Jill shivered at his wonderful, totally killer fantastic smile. He, Sirius Black, was smiling at her in such an awful situation and for the little while she thought she was all his world. And the shiver was so different form the shakes of cold.
'Let's go, honey...' he said and they began to get rid of the mess around.
He watched in awe the absent but professional way in which she dealt with freezing jinx and amazing self-confidence when she entered cleared house. Sirius stopped the fire and followed her. He helped her with closing the windows and blocking magically the most important rooms (e. g. Jill's study- room with amazing amount of books and notes). They decided to leave that all behind, for their health was more important, and the spells Jill wanted to use to close and "disappear" the house were to strong to b broken. Just in case of unexpected investigation, they put and alarm bell on, which was to ring at Sirius' house if anybody entered the area.
Jill was incredibly exhausted after using the last charm and fell on Sirius' arm for support. He smiled with pain, because the last few hours consumed her whole energy and she looked as if she lived only because of exceedingly strong will. She looked at the house for the very last time, she knew that it was not safe anymore, but she didn't fear for herself: the Order information was more important. They had to leave.
'I'm tired' she sighed. You're worn-out baby, totally worn-out, thought Sirius but wasn't crazy enough to tell her that. He whispered something like "we'll rest at home" and "I'll take care of you" and stroked her messy hair. He was so troubled that she was badly hexed, but he didn't want to sound like a pitying person. He was looking for words and moves which would show that he really was a caring and loving man.
'We have to go' he said as they were standing outside the abandoned building, recalling the happy and funny hours they had spent there together. 'Can you apparate?'
Jill said "yes" and he told her that they'd better do it together, to double their strength. She still agreed; Sirius wasn't sure if that was because of his reason or because of her unconscious state. She shivered, the sudden attack of coldness where still appearing and running time didn't stop them at all. They were dangerous, could change spells, for they were pools of powerful magic or disable body. Sirius didn't know if things he wanted to do where right, but he took her hand, grabbed his wand harder and said:
'Grimmauld Place, 12, Jill. Living room.'
Jill nodded.
'One, two...' he spoke and they disapparated the same moment. They both felt a strong hit, the area outside blurred, than changed into blackest night, then the blurred shaped began to focus and they found themselves (their hands still clutched together) on the carpet of Blacks' Major Room.
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AN: God, I'm so tired. Did you guys like it???? Do you wonder what will happen next?? Review!!!!!
Let's call the chapter: The Warning
Sirius ran like a drunken man towards the house and noticed that the bushes in the garden were burning. The house was all opened, there was light in every single room and the windows were open, too. But what scared him to death was a shining sign above the house. A dark mark.
The scene of the attack looked terrible. The nice, cottage house was no longer recognisable, it seemed to be a house of ghosts, windows and door wide open, lights on and wind blowing through the rooms with evil sounds. And the rain, heavy and cold, which made Sirius freeze, was from a different fairy tale, totally out of place. And the fire. Who the fuckin' hell had done that? The flames were shining at the ground and it looked terrible and awful, as one of the rings of hell that Sirius used to imagine. And above all of this, glued to the sky, the bright green frightening Dark Mark – the most horrifying disaster that could have happened.
And on that day. On a day that was to be his happiest day...
'JIIIILLLLL!!!!!!!' he shouted several times, but even if she had been there she wouldn't have heard it due to the noise of rain and wind.
He couldn't believe it. He was already totally wet and cold but didn't feel anything except enormous anger. But he also knew that the fury he felt was only shallow; that inside his soul, his heart was nothing left. Enormous emptiness was killing him. He lost everything. Why? What had he done wrong? Why had this happen? Why...Jill...
He was standing in front of the house door, trembling, shaking and crying. He couldn't move because the shock was paralysing. But his mind and memory was working, though he would like they didn't. He had really imagined their life, their happiness day by day. And now the images of Jill combing her impolite her, pictures of Jill resting at the sundown, Jill laughing with a glass of red wine in her hand, Jill making love to him...
The images attacked him when he closed his eyes, just not to look at the house for a while. The appeared in front of him when he gazed at the flames that, contrary to Coleman, were at least alive. The more he tried to concentrate on the unexpected and gloomy task he was given by fate or whatever, the more he heard her laugh, saw her beaming face, smiling to him, talking to him.
He wondered if he was dying and the minute before seeing the undone future in stead of the past.
And the more he saw the more depressed and glum he was. What was he doing there on Earth if the most pleasurable reason of his staying there disappeared. Like a burnt piece of paper. A man is no stronger than a piece of paper...
Then he suddenly realised that he had seen such a scene before. He had seen a dark mark over friends' house, ages ago and the similarity of the situation almost killed him. And he again believed it was his fault. Although house of Potters was destroyed, other facts fitted. Sirius swallowed. It was terrible, he couldn't find words how much terrible it was, to find best friends' dead bodies. A sudden blow of total emptiness. Now even stronger, he had to admit, stronger because he had to move, find and see the dead body of a woman that... A woman who... A woman he loved...
He asked himself why the hell Jill, he wanted to persuade himself that she shouldn't have been killed. What had she done to the evil people. The armless, weak, small girl... But that was useless, it didn't help him because he knew that Jill could have been the aim of attack as good as Dumbledore, the Weaseys of whoever who was in the Order. And, to make matters worse and more hopeless, she was an active member. And dangerous...
'Not anymore' he whispered through his tears and decided to get into the house and find out. Just in time he remembered to take the wand out. He forgot to do it before, too frightened to move or act. Now he had found his courage and usual confidence.
He approached fast the main, open door, wand in his right hand, conscious and careful eyes examining the surroundings. He should have felt doubled or even tripled coldness that surrounded him when he came closer, but his unusual state, wetness of his clothes, emptiness of his soul, hidden anger and sorrow, somehow disabled his senses. And to his own safety and comfort he should have felt the cool air, because he wouldn't have been hit with a strong freezing jinx the moment he tried to enter the hall.
He was flabbergasted and even forgot to shiver from feet to the top of his head. But he felt it immediately: the coldness running through his veins, freezing him. He knew that if he stopped moving for a single moment he would have been frozen to death.
So the aggressors were so evil that killing Coleman wasn't enough: they also wanted to cause pain to the rescuers. Sirius was walking in front of the door trying to think how to get in. And he wondered why the spell wasn't strong enough to make him lose consciousness. He turned round, just to warm himself and spotted the burning bushes. Of course! He should get nearer and use the warmth of the flames.
'Thanks Goodness they set the fire' he whispered and slowly followed. The air was warmer and Sirius felt his clothes melting (they were cold and wet now, but that was better that frozen blood). He sighed and closed his eyes trying to find solution.
'Huh!' he laughed at himself. 'There's no solution. Unsolvable matter. Jill's...'
He couldn't finish those dark thoughts because of a strange sound, as if somebody was coming, that was heard from behind the bushes. He swallowed and shouted:
'Who's there!! Don't move!!'
there was no answer, but he could have promised he heard somebody trying to reply. Then he or she stopped moving.
'Wait!' Sirius shouted and suddenly found strength to run round the bushes to find out who was it.
It could have been just a stray dog, he thought and wondered why the hell his heart that was almost dead a second ago, was now beating badly. Why??
He saw a blurred shape next to burning bushes. He realised it was a human and was trembling. The person was trying to get up, but had problems with it and all he or she managed to do was not to fall into the flames. A stream of hope was almost exploding Sirius from inside. He knew it was stupid and hopeless, but he believed.
The strange person tried once again to get up and this time managed, because strong arm of Sirius helped her and the crying and caring voice of Sirius whispered passionately into her ear: "Jill..."
Sirius hugged Jill as strong as he could, put his arms tightly around her and pulled her frozen, cooled body to his. His hands were running across her back and sides madly, he was desperate to feel that she was real material and alive.
Was it possible? Was it possible that he was holding her tight, touching her, embracing Jill, who he thought was killed? Miracles happen, he would say if his mind wasn't occupied with different things.
'Jill, my honey, my dearest honey... I was so scared, so scared' he repeated into her ear, kissing her wet head as if he wanted to warm her with his words. He was totally happy, it was an absolute ecstasy to find her, touch her material and living body. His emotions made a terribly rapid turn of 180 degrees. And he was euphoric. He wanted to laugh and laugh and dance in spite of the situation, but was holding her tight trying to calm her. And he was calming himself as well.
'Sirius' Jill whispered, her face pressed to his neck. The first word she said after resurrection (in Sirius' point of view) was his name!!!! He felt her hands on his chest an then on his back, embracing him gently and hungrily. In a tender, lover-like way that almost ensured Sirius' hopes of her love. She hugged him stronger and spoke, slowly, stopping several times, to take a breath or to sob a little.
'I... I was so scared too, too frightened to get in and... because I was at library and... I thought it could be Pola, who wanted to drop in, or Dumbledore, or whoever... I was so scared it could have been you Sirius... so..' she broke down and cried into his robes. She felt his gentle kisses on her head and that was... well soothing and peaceful and loving. She heard him whispering her name and millions of caring names. She felt his warm arms through her wet clothes and she could feel his blood flowing across his veins. That was so... intimate.
They were standing like that for long, enjoying the moment of unexpected reunion, enjoying each other's presence. Sirius' tears faded away, his spirits were to high to worry him. Jill however was still crying in his arm, she whispered long, lazy, depressive sentences, criticising herself. Sirius at first thought she was still telling him how much scared she was. Not anymore, now she felt:
'...miserable' she cried. 'totally miserable, unable to do anything... powerless, poor... why am I? I pretended I was strong, and smart...oh god, people surely thought I was a big-headed bitch... I wasn't able o defend myself... I came here and I...I couldn't do a thing!... I..'
'Stop it, Jill' he shouted, though silently. 'Don't blame or punish yourself. Look. The freezing jinx hit you and you survived, Jill. SURVIVED! I was almost killed by it, and I was the second one... It must have been terribly powerful...'
'No, no, I'm weak, Sirius, go. Leave me. I'm the looser, please...'
'Jill, I'm not gonna leave you!' he said honestly, stroking her hair and trying to calm her 'These jinxes always cause depression, if one's lucky to recover.'
'I've 'lways though I can d'it. Ya know: fight' she interrupted him and chocked because of tears. 'And I can't. Fuck I can't...'
She burst into crying once more and hid hrs face in his robes. She suddenly became aware of his closeness, of his male body holding her tight, whispering comforting words. Behind the material she could smell his fragrance, masculine and intensive. A scent that melted her body. Why was he so near? Maybe he...
But Sirius interrupted her thoughts by pushing her lightly away, hands on her arms, eyes gazing direct into hers (wonderful, like burning bushes; the eyes of gold).
'We have to get out of here or you'll die because of coldness, wetness and depression' he spoke to her as if she was a child, but tried to sound amusingly. She was watching him through the tears, indifferently. She wondered what he was talking about. We? 'Do you understand it, Jill??? Babe? We don't wanna die here.' She nodded "yes" and he smiled with relief.
'Good! We have to stop the fire, remove the mark, close the house...'
He broke off because Jill moved away from him, and examined the garden and house. She looked completely conscious now. Sirius only regretted that her coming to senses meant going away from him. Well, it didn't matter to him: he still had his aim of the day. Aim of his life.
Sirius decided to talk on. Maybe she wasn't aware of the situation. She really looked lost.
'I can deal with the fire, the mark, baby, but you have to close the house, I can't do it because it's yours. Sweetheart? You think you can do it?'
She gazed at him and nodded again. Then, her face cold and paler than usual, her body trembling, but her eyes aware of everything, she asked.
'Why are you doing this Sirius?'
'Are you kidding?' he was slightly shocked. 'I...' he came to her and embraced her. 'Jill, we have to move, we'll have plenty of time later...' He didn't want to let her go, see her work in such a dreadful (though, he swore at himself, hot and sexy) way. She thought she was miserable and he found that sexy? She looked like hell (he didn't better), but still there was an irresistible way she moved, and gazed at the world. Even the way she spoke bullshits about herself was exciting. He smiled and gazed down at her. Jill shivered at his wonderful, totally killer fantastic smile. He, Sirius Black, was smiling at her in such an awful situation and for the little while she thought she was all his world. And the shiver was so different form the shakes of cold.
'Let's go, honey...' he said and they began to get rid of the mess around.
He watched in awe the absent but professional way in which she dealt with freezing jinx and amazing self-confidence when she entered cleared house. Sirius stopped the fire and followed her. He helped her with closing the windows and blocking magically the most important rooms (e. g. Jill's study- room with amazing amount of books and notes). They decided to leave that all behind, for their health was more important, and the spells Jill wanted to use to close and "disappear" the house were to strong to b broken. Just in case of unexpected investigation, they put and alarm bell on, which was to ring at Sirius' house if anybody entered the area.
Jill was incredibly exhausted after using the last charm and fell on Sirius' arm for support. He smiled with pain, because the last few hours consumed her whole energy and she looked as if she lived only because of exceedingly strong will. She looked at the house for the very last time, she knew that it was not safe anymore, but she didn't fear for herself: the Order information was more important. They had to leave.
'I'm tired' she sighed. You're worn-out baby, totally worn-out, thought Sirius but wasn't crazy enough to tell her that. He whispered something like "we'll rest at home" and "I'll take care of you" and stroked her messy hair. He was so troubled that she was badly hexed, but he didn't want to sound like a pitying person. He was looking for words and moves which would show that he really was a caring and loving man.
'We have to go' he said as they were standing outside the abandoned building, recalling the happy and funny hours they had spent there together. 'Can you apparate?'
Jill said "yes" and he told her that they'd better do it together, to double their strength. She still agreed; Sirius wasn't sure if that was because of his reason or because of her unconscious state. She shivered, the sudden attack of coldness where still appearing and running time didn't stop them at all. They were dangerous, could change spells, for they were pools of powerful magic or disable body. Sirius didn't know if things he wanted to do where right, but he took her hand, grabbed his wand harder and said:
'Grimmauld Place, 12, Jill. Living room.'
Jill nodded.
'One, two...' he spoke and they disapparated the same moment. They both felt a strong hit, the area outside blurred, than changed into blackest night, then the blurred shaped began to focus and they found themselves (their hands still clutched together) on the carpet of Blacks' Major Room.
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AN: God, I'm so tired. Did you guys like it???? Do you wonder what will happen next?? Review!!!!!